Chapter 49: Chapter 49

: all over again

→Narrator: Asa

"C'mon, Asa. I had to make it look convincing."

Convincing my ass!

"Do you know how many Nigerians watch the show? You literally staked a claim on me! On National Tv!" I snapped at him, pushing the car door open when his signature silver Porsche rolled into the driveway of our vacation home.

Yes... His Porsche!

The boys had driven to Offshore with Kam, Dave and Jordan's jeeps. We the girls, turning up in Kosi's lambo. But Amir had gone and paid a moving company to get his Porsche here for reasons best known to him.

"Kam doesn't even watch the show." I seethed quietly as he fumbled with the lock of his car.

He only shrugged, securing the lock and we walked together to the front door.

"So I don't have to worry about getting my neck snapped." He said easily.

"That's not the point Amir." I replied angrily, strained and agitated, pressing the doorbell.

Lola greeted us at the front door, a worried look on her face. "Amir, you need to come see this." She said urgently, latching unto Amir's hand and pulling him in.

Completely disregarding me.

The moment I stepped past the threshold of the door, my heart skipped one painful beat, an alien dread washing over me, spilling into impending doom, about to come.

What's going on?

"Guys?" I called into the hallway. My voice trembling.

I found them in the kitchen, hurdled close together around the dining table, discussing something in low harsh tunes.

That was not the shocking part.

The shocking part is that, they were all together.

What could have been so important that'd make them cast aside their ongoing beef?

What?

I was able to hear snippets of their conversation.

"He wouldn't do something like this to her."

"How're you sure it's him in that video."

"Well, looks like I'll be taking a sledgehammer to his kneecaps. Nigga doesn't deserve to walk after this."

My heart crept to my throat.

"Guys?" I called out, my voice, coming off croaky and squeaky.

Their heads all snapped up at my voice and they turned to look at me. Wary faces morphing into pity. I noticed Kosi wasn't part of the gathering... Probably packing up to leave, later today.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Asa..." Was all Lola whispered, bursting into tears and coming to hug me.

I shifted uncomfortably as her tiny arms wrapped around me, her chest, racking with sobs. "I'm so sorry, Asa."

I stared at her confused out of my mind and looked at the rest of the gang, who were trying to avoid my gaze.

Jemi was the only one staring at me with a hardened expression on his face, his arms folded, fists tightened as he tried and failed to rein in furious anger.

"Jem. What's going on?"

His facial expression softened at the worried look on my face, the air around me getting thicker and thicker until it felt like I couldn't breathe.

He let out a frustrated breath, rubbing his neck and avoided my eyes. "It's nothing, Asa. Why don't you check on Kosi? She may need your help packing."

"Bullshit!" I snapped at him, shifting my eyes to glare at Amir. "Amir, you won't lie to me. What the hell is going on? Why are you all acting so weird."

There was a dead look in those grey eyes of his, like he wasn't seeing me anymore but a ghost. An eerie calmness that froze over into solid ice.

"We need to show her the video." Was all he said, a detached, look in his eyes.... Like he had suddenly... Snapped... And went numb.

The others nodded their approval.

"Asa... Please, before you see this..." There was a strain in Jemi's voice, a tautness that twisted my guts into knots. He was walking over to me, gripping his phone tight, knuckles turning red, muscles bulging.

"Asa-"

"Give me the fucking phone!"

I couldn't recognise my voice anymore. That fear... That shrillness in it. It's not me. It can't be.

I was taking the phone from him and he came to put his arm around my shoulder, in a side hug that was more annoying than comforting.

The screen showed a paused video and with shaky, sweaty palms, I pressed 'play', my saliva thickening.

I wish I hadn't.

Is it recording? That voice... Ariel.

Fuck if I care! ... Kam?

What about Asa?

Who?

She was giggling in that shrill, high-pitched voice of hers... And what they were doing...

God.

It felt like someone took a wrecking ball to my heart, shattering me to a million pieces.

I swayed on my feet, a light headedness overtaking me until I felt faint. Weak.

I didn't cry. I didn't scream... Nothing. I felt numb... Painfully numb.

When the video ended, I shrugged off Jemi's annoyingly comforting hand from my shoulders, handing him back the phone.

"Asa..." Someone whispered. I didn't know who it was. I didn't care either.

I walked quietly to the end of the marble staircase and sat on it, feeling my entire world, turning upside down.

Kam...

"Asa, please, say something!" Jemi pleaded, desperately.

I stared at him blankly.

"I'm fine." I whispered when I found my voice. "Please, leave me alone."

Lola came to touch me. "Asa-"

I snapped. Hating that pitiful look on her face.

"I said, I'm fine!" I screamed at her. "Leave me alone! All of you!"

A hurt expression flashed across her face. "Asa, I know you're hurt-"

"I'm not hurt. I'm fucking fantastic, okay?" My chest was heaving, my lungs about to burst. "This is so fucking convenient anyway."

Lola flinched back. "What are you talking about?"

I struggled to control my breathing, my head was splitting.

I'm dreaming. Yes! That's it! I'm dreaming, and I'll soon wake up.

But even as I tried to convince myself of that stupid lie, I felt a sob tearing at the back of my throat. Ashes filling my lungs.

Stupid girl. Foolish girl. What were you expecting. What the FUCK were you expecting?!

"I could get him back if I wanted, Asachi." A promise she had ended up fulfilling.

My fists clenched tightly, welcoming the anger. I'd rather give in to the anger than the hurt. The pain. My breath started getting erratic as I struggled with my breathing, madness, spilling into my veins.

I looked at my trembling hands, fisting and unfisting them. My throat felt like it was closing up, oxygen refused to circulate through my system.

"No!" I heard Amir's voice and the next thing i know, he lunged at me, grabbing my shoulders. "Asa, don't fucking give in to this. You're stronger than that."

I looked at him uncertainly. For once, there was a strain and agitation in his cold grey eyes.

Huh.

"Guys," he implored to the rest of the gang who had completely surrounded me, all with worried, pitiful looks on their faces.

"Guys, please. She needs space. She's hyper-ventilating."

I am?

It was then I noticed my breath was coming out in harsh, ragged drags, hot tears, stinging my eyes, head spinning.

Kam. Ariel.

Kam. Ariel.

Kam. Kam.

"She needs something to eat. She hasn't eaten since morning. Jemi get some water for her to drink."

It was like an out-of-body experience. I watched as Amir shouted out orders to them, while I watched, vacantly detached, as the others scampered about, out of the living room.

"C'mon princess." He finally said, softly, touching my shoulder again. "You need some rest."

I do?

I stood transfixed on the spot, a dull, painful ache, suddenly shooting through my chest... Like something in me just snapped.

"Asa, please." Amir begged, "don't feel this way."

But how do i feel?

Numb... Tired... Exhausted.

Just then, there was a loud screeching sound, coming from outside, like someone hastily parking haphazardly.

Kam...

I swayed, gripping the banister. Amir's arm tightened around my shoulder, his voice, a heart broken whisper. "Asa, please. Don't let him see you like this. Don't let him win."

I was the heartbroken one, but Amir looked like he was holding back tears, practically plastering me to his side, tugging at me to come with him, an urgency in his voice. "Please. Let's go upstairs."

"Amir!" I heard Kam, shouting from outside. "Amir, where the fuck are you?!"

We both looked up, frozen.

"Well, looks like he watched the show." There was a coldness in his usual chuckle. Something that raised the hairs on my neck.

I looked up at him, his jaw was tightly clenched, like he was desperately trying to control something... Anger... But the rest of him was slack. Laid back. Arm, gripping my shoulder firmly.

Kam bursted through the door, like a freaking firestorm, barrelling out of control.

"Amir, what the f-." He stopped, the moment we appeared into his line of vision, hot, angry eyes, zeroing in on me.

No... Not on me.

On Amir... Specifically on his arm around my shoulder.

"I'll ask this, and I'll ask this only once." His voice was deadly quiet, like he was about to snap any moment. His entire body, taut in fury. I felt anger, rolling off of him in waves and the entire room looked like it was heating to boiling point.

"Get your fucking hands off of her."

Amir's grip only tightened, glaring back, calmly at Kam.

Kam cracked his knuckles, blazing anger, spilling out of him. "You don't want to go there with me, Amir."

I just stood, transfixed at the spot. I was staring at Kam... Who wasn't Kam.

The video started replaying in my head, somehow, it felt like it was happening in front of me and I felt sick, a wave of nausea, bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

Forever and ever. You promised.

"Amir, let me go. Please." I whispered.

Amir's eyes was dead set on Kam's. "I'll take my chances."

It happened in a blur. Kam lunged at Amir, tackled him to the ground, following up his attack with a solid punch that snapped Amir's face to the right.

I stopped, pure horror, flooding my veins.

It was something I never expected he'd do.

Amir kicked Kam off of him, blood, spilling out of his lips as he reversed their position.

They both went ballistic after that. Punching, kicking and pretty much trying to destroy each other. Kam lifted Amir up by the collar, landing another punch in his stomach, I watched Amir double over in pain, staggering backwards.

Stop!

But like the stupid, pathetic girl I was, I stood, unable to do nothing.

Nothing.

The same thing I did while my step brother violated me for years. The exact same thing.

Stupid. Useless. Pathetic.

Amir grabbed Kam's shoulder, kneeing him twice in the ribs and pushing him away.

The noise attracted the others and soon, Jordan, Jemi, Dave and Osahon were breaking off the fight.

"How dare you do that, huh?! How dare you fucking do that to her?!" Amir was shouting at Kam, struggling in Jordan's arms.

"What the fuck are you talking about, asshole! You're supposed to be my best fucking friend! But all you've ever done is try to fucking take her from me every chance you get!"

"At least I know I'd never hurt her the way you did! Face the fact, Kam and address your fuck up!"

Kam stopped struggling in Jemi's chokehold, his face, an annoyed scowl. "What are you talking about?"

Amir barked a cold, harsh laughter that made my skin crawl. "I'm talking about you having the audacity to fucking cheat on her!"

Kam froze in Jemi's arms. "What?"

Jemi reluctantly let him go when he slacked against him.

"Ya Allah! Fuck you, DeAngeles. And fuck that fake ass shit along with you!"

For the first time, he looked at everyone gathered in the room, and as if sensing the hostility, radiating from everyone against him, he took a step back. "How... How did you know?"

What!

How. Did. I. Know?

It felt like my heart engulfed in flames and dropped into the pit of my stomach.

Kam wasn't looking at Amir anymore.

"Asa, listen to me. I can explain."

No.

Never.

He tried to walk towards me, but Jemi held him back. "That's enough, Kam."

Kam didn't pay attention to him, still trying to get to me, eyes trembling in desperation and urgent need. "Asa, please!"

There was a desperate pleading look in his eyes that almost made me stop and hear him out.

Almost.

I forced my heart to freeze over.

Become the Ice witch all over again.

Kam was everything to me. The first person to ever make me feel after all the hate and trauma thrown at me... If even he could betray me... Then, I really didn't have anybody.

No one.

Turning around, I fled up the stairs, to my room, packing as much clothes as I could into my back pack, ripping the sheets out, tearing through the clothes on the hangers, hot tears, blurring my vision.

What about Asa? I remembered Ariel's high pitched voice, giggling like she won a lottery.

Who? That was definitely Kam's voice. I could recognized it in my sleep.

Blood rushed to my ears.

This cursed house. Cursed vacation. Cursed city.

I was sobbing and writhing by the time I came back downstairs, not paying attention to any of them.

I found Kosi at the backyard, getting into her car, ready to drive off.

"Kosi!" I shrieked, lugging my bag behind me.

She got out of her car, frowning at me in confusion.

Somebody's hand suddenly latched around my wrist, turning me around.

Deep honey eyes, darkened by need. "Asa, fucking listen to me, please!"

I tried wrenching my arm out of his grasp, refusing to look at him. "Kam, let me go!"

His grip only tightened, tugging me towards him. "You won't even hear me out?"

The look in his eyes suddenly made me weak.

I stopped struggling, avoiding his gaze. Closing my eyes shut. Forcing the tears to spill out of me uncontrollably. "Please, Kam." I was begging now.

Weak. Stupid. Pathetic.

Softly, he placed his thumb and forefinger under my chin, urging me to look into those honey wells all over again. "Asa, let's go back inside. Talk things through. Please."

His voice was hypnotic. His eyes. That coffee scent that was unique to him.

The knots in my stomach were unraveling, i felt my knees turn to jelly at his touch.

"You. You're the one I love, Asa. Ariel means nothing."

Stupid. Weak. Pathetic.

No!

Summoning all the strength I had left, I pushed him back with a force I never thought I had in me.

"And yet, you fucked her!" I screamed at him, balling my fists until it felt like I'd snap a vein.

He stumbled back, hurt, flashing across his eyes. "You believe that?" He whispered, incredulous. Aghast.

I didn't answer, angrily glaring at him.

"Fuck, you believe that shit?!" He screamed at me now.

I wiped my tears and turned around to walk away again.

I know what I saw.

He grabbed me again, taking hold of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. Looking me dead in the eyes, searching for what I don't know. I maintained my harsh glare on him, not withering under his gaze. In the end he found what he was looking for, eyes widening in horror. "You actually believe it." He whispered, his grip on me, loosening.

I looked away from him, suddenly tired, but he wasn't done.

Shaking me roughly, he practically shouted at me. "Asa, after everything we've fucking been through?! After everything we've shared, you don't believe I'd do something like that to you, do you?! Asa, c'mon, you know me!"

I didn't even know what to think. I thought i knew Kam, until this vacation.

"The Kam I know would never hit his best friend." I whispered. Dead. Cold.

His jaw slacked, hands dropped from my shoulders.

I raised my chin. Straightened my spine and glared down at him, welcoming the stone coldness gathering inside of me.

Become the Ice witch all over again.

I forced my entire body to freeze over again, bracing myself as if expecting an attack, a stiffness in my composure, far different from the sunny flexible nonesense Kam had turned me into.

"I don't know you, Kam. I never did."

I recognized my voice now. My old voice. That calm alto. Cold. Hard.

Perfect.

This is me. This is who I've always been.

"Honestly, I couldn't care less who you decide to fuck around with. It was fun wasting my precious time with you. You have no hold over me, Kam. You never did. I'm sorry if I ever made you think you did."

He was shaking his head, disbelief in his eyes. "No. No, you don't mean that. You're lying! You're fucking lying. Don't feed me that crap."

I raised an eyebrow, calming the tempest, the raging ocean within me and they cooperated beautiful, welling up in the pit of my stomach. "Really?"

"I don't believe you, Asa!"

I sighed, shaking my head. "You don't see it, do you? I used you, not the other way around. You were stupid. Easily manipulated. Rich. Everybody's Golden boy. The entire school loved you. Being with you would have helped my reputation. Saved my aunt. I only did what I had to do for myself. My aunt. My family."

He was looking at me like he didn't recognize me anymore.

"You were a convenient pastime, Kamsi. Nothing more. You and your group of friends."

I looked behind him, deliberately maintaining eye contact with each of them.

Amir was staring at me with that dead look in his eyes again. Lola held her hand to her mouth. For once, a hurt look crossed Jordan's face.

There were all staring at me, disappointed.

But I honestly didn't care anymore.

Fuck them. Fuck them all.

I never needed them in the beginning. I don't need them now.

I turned around briskly, walking towards Kosi's car, jaw tightly clenched, blood and ice in my veins.

A coldness in my soul that I gladly welcomed.

Kosi was still staring at me in confused shock and when I reached her car, I yanked open the backseat, throwing my bag in, and slamming the door close.

I was about to get into the passenger seat when someone slammed it shut behind me. I turned around to glare at Kam but he only pushed me against the car, his lips, falling on mine without warning.

His kiss was brutal, angry, hot. His touch, scathing me, burning, obliterating and reducing me to ashes. He pressed his body into me, kissing me angrily, desperately.

Tears threatened to spill out of me, snapping me out of Kam's hypnosis.

I went slack against him, refusing to kiss him back.

He noticed and pulled back, a fearful look in his eyes, lips trembling. "Asa."

I calmly pushed him away from me. Wiping my lips in one swipe.

Our gaze maintained on each other for a moment. My icy cold one, his blazing hot one.

This time, he didn't try to reach out again, his breathing laboured. "Asa, don't do this to me. To us!"

I swallowed.

"All I've ever done is love you, Asa. All I've ever wanted was to see you happy. You hold all of me in your hands. I gave you everything I had. Is it too much to ask for the same in return?"

I avoided his gaze.

"Asa, is it?! Forever and ever! Was it all a joke to you?!"

He stared at me for a moment, frustrated at my silence. "It was, wasn't it? I've been fucking wasting my time with you, huh?!"

I turned around again, about to open the car door but Kam slapped it shut.

"Asa, please please. Don't go! Don't fucking do this to me!" He was begging now. "Please."

I closed my eyes, refusing to look at him. Trying to ignore how much his heartbroken pleas where seeping into my fossifying soul.

"For goodness sake, Asa, you don't even want to look at me? You won't even fight for me. For us."

I squeezed my eyes even tighter, yanked the car door open. This time he did nothing to stop me.

I sank into the passenger seat, took a deep breath.

"Kosi." I whispered. She heard me. "Drive."

Kam was leaning against my side of the window, pounding against it urgently.

The car must have been soundproof, because I couldn't hear anything he was saying.

"Asa, are you sure?" Kosi asked quietly beside me, hands bracing the steering wheel.

"Drive, Kosi. Please. Get me out of here."

I didn't ease off until the engine started.

In the rearview mirror, I saw Kam staring at the retreating car, a unbelieving horror look in his eyes, like he couldn't believe what was happening.

I took a deep breath. Exhaled.

Forever and ever didn't exist.

Eternity was for misguided fools.

-

"You'll be okay?" Kosi gulped, looking at me with worry in her eyes.

"Yes."

"Oh. So... Uh... Goodbye, then."

We were at the Subway, she had driven me all the way to the Island-Mainland train station.

I gripped my tickets in my hand, tightening my hold on the backpack on my shoulder.

"Give me a call when you get home, okay?" She patted my shoulder twice, getting back into her car and driving off.

I stepped into the sleek black metal monster that was going to transport me back to my home on the mainland. Back to my reality.

Offshore was an illusion. A beautiful nightmare.

The mainland was my harsh reality.

I recognized the difference in my surroundings the moment I stepped into my neighbourhood.

It was the beginning of January but the sun was suddenly harsh on my exposed skin, hurting my eyes, noise blaring out of speakers and moving vehicles and blasting honks. The bad roads, air pollution, people laughing and talking and shouting at the top of their voices...

And God, that smell. A thick, pungent odour of sewage and refuse wrapped around the air like a burgeoning blanket.

Starkly different from Offshore.

But then, I'll always take the bitter truth, over a beautiful lie any day.

It wasn't until I got to the door of the apartment I shared with my aunt and cousins that I realized that no one was probably home.

Nonetheless, I raised a stiff hand, knocked twice.

No response. Just like I thought.

I clenched my teeth and grabbed the door handle, pushed open the door. To my surprise, the door creaked open.

A new feeling of dread washed over my entire body as I stepped into the hot, dark apartment.

"Olanma?" I called out, knowing my youngest cousin had to be at home...

Right?

She wasn't in the living room like I had thought. And what was even worse was that cushions were strewn around on the floor, a sharp contrast from our usually neatly arranged living room.

An unsettled feeling settled in my throat, cracking the ice around my soul.

"Mghm-"

I heard it, my ears, snapping towards the direction of the voice.

Like someone gurgling on something... Fighting back a choke.

"Nma?" Dread reduced my voice to a squeakiness I couldn't recognize. My heart was accelerating out of control now, spilling out impending doom about to come.

I dropped my bag on the floor and raced to the room she shared with Tasha, where i had heard the choking sound from.

And stopped dead in my tracks, blood turning cold.

Right there, in the middle of the room was Olanma sprawled on the ground, like a lifeless ragdoll.

"Nma?" I whispered, walking slowly into the room.

I stopped at her feet, covering my mouth, tears streaming down my cheeks, hands trembling.

Olanma was in a pool of her own vomit. An empty sniper bottle beside her.

I screamed.

I screamed and screamed and didn't stop screaming until the neighbours heard and came running.

I screamed because my cousin just committed suicide.

THE END:

Please, check out:

Third book in the series: All That Is Gold

Spinoff in Amir's pov: Stardusts