Chapter 53: Chapter 53

Russelli

I took Malinda to the beach, it was a place I had to happen to discover and it was peaceful and quiet, only the sound of the wave and water could be heard, I sat down with her as we watched the wave, her head was on my shoulders and we were quiet like we had a lot of things to think inside our head before letting them out.

She was wearing a yellow beach dress, maybe because I told her I would be taking her here. She had come up with this outfit that makes it hard for me to look away from her. Her hair was blown backwards by the light breeze and it made her face more adorable to look at. She wore light makeup and her lips were picky and plump and I felt the urge to kiss her lips, but this was not why I brought her here.

"I am really happy to be here with you Russeli." A broad smile spread through her face, she had this smile on her face all through our drive to this place and I wish I could freeze this moment and stare at her smiles all day long.

"You had something to tell me, what is it?" I asked her, I don't want to prolong this day.'' She had something to say and I also had something to say to her and we had spent almost an hour in silence.

"Yes." Her smile suddenly disappeared and I could see the sadness in her eyes. "I wanted to ask you to come to America with me, let's leave together to a place where there would be no obstacles, to a place where we would love each other and be together."

I could remember these were the words I told her and that was the start of the pains and hurts we have felt all these years.

I forced a smile. "I thought you once told me that I didn't learn from my mistakes." I was ready to learn from that mistake, a mistake that shouldn't have happened if I had once listened to her and not tried to flee.

"I realized what you meant now." She looked into my eyes and I could see the glint in her eyes, that glint that had made me pause for a brief moment the first day I saw her in my father's office.

I turn my eyes away from her, fleeing this country wouldn't save her from my father, leaving with her could also make fate repeat itself and this time we might not come back alive and there was no need to test fate a second time.

"Malinda, I brought you here to say something." I turned my eyes to look at her and she was seriously waiting to hear what it was. "Let's break up, Malinda."

I watched her smile fade and the corner of her brows raised like she was conflicted. "Russeli, I am not sure I heard you clearly..." I could see tears brimming in her eyes and I looked away from her face in order not to hold back.

"Let's go our separate ways," I clenched my fist and turned my eyes back at her. "Let's break up."

She shook her head. "Don't say that Russeli, I can't break up with you, don't you remember we both love each other." She searched my eyes but I had already hidden all the emotions and gave nothing away.

"That was in a fairyland," I told her. "Do you remember we decided to pretend we are in love just for the music, to act like we were in a fairytale where they live happily ever after?" She shook her head profusely as tears rolled down her cheek as she held my hands.

Russeli I can't go on without you," She blinked tears away and her eyes were fixed on mine. "Please stop joking around and let's just think about this Russeli." Looking at Malinda now, she was not the strong lady without feeling who came back as Natasha Wilbur.

Right now I want to embrace her and tell her all the truth, but I couldn't, there was just one way to keep her alive and that is by leaving her.

"There is nothing to think about Malinda, I keep on hurting you, I can't protect you, we were never meant for each other so go back to America and live your life the way you have done when I wasn't with you, I am only causing you pain..."

"No Russeli," She cuts me off. "I suffered without you by my side, but when I saw you, I was with tears flowing down her cheek. "I was happy and you made me happy because you love me."

I looked away immediately to suppress my tears that were lingering. "Go away please!" I barked and then turned to her. "I am begging you, leave my side, seeing you every day hurts me." It was so obvious that I was lying to both her and myself, but if this was the only way then so be it.

"I don't love you, I never did, I was only playing around with you." I got up to my feet to leave but she held me as she stood up.

"I know you are lying to me Russeli, I know you too well." She looked into my eyes and her eyes were like the ocean staring right into my soul about to discover my hidden lies.

I flung her hands away. "You don't know, you don't know anything about me."

"I don't believe you," Her lips quiver and she sniffles. "I don't believe anything you say, look at me, look into my eyes and say you don't love me."

I couldn't do that, I know if I stare into those eyes I would only have to tell her how much it hurts me to see her tears, how hurt I feel to lie to her to send her away, and how I want to keep her by my side and never let her go.

"Believe whatever you want, just leave my life." I look at her. "What held us together was the music and now it is all over, so it is time we go our separate ways." I could no longer watch her cry, I got into my car and drove off.

The tears I held in began to roll down, why does it always have to end this way, why do I always have to break her heart, why was my life and Malinda's always have to be this difficult.

This was the only way to protect her, this was the only thing I could do, just like Gavin had told me, just as my father had said, I had to let her go, my only wish was for Malinda to forgive me and also go live a life without me.