Chapter 69: Chapter 69

I can't fully remember how many times I held myself back from speaking because I thought it would be better for everyone. I always thought of peace, but my silence only brings chaos under my chest.

It's heavy and disturbing.

But since Hector came into my life, I feel relieved and heard. As if I had the courage to speak and say everything on my mind—the endless anxiety, the heartaches, my unspoken rage—I didn't know how to express it back then. Not until Hector came and saved me from drowning.

"Do you want to visit him? I'll take you there."

I looked at Hector when I heard that from him. He's looking straight at the road with a blank expression I couldn't read. I don't know if he's mad or what but I can feel he's not.

I looked away from him and turned back to the outside of the window. I don't know if it's right to still see him. I have nothing more to say. And I don't know if I can see him even if I only face his grave.

"I'm fine. Let's just go to the mansion," I answered him sparingly and didn't move anymore.

When we arrived at the mansion, we were greeted by silence. I suddenly remembered what Ulysses had said earlier—about Lolo Leoncio's appearance in the press. Maybe that's his way to make everything right. Maybe that's his way of apologizing to mom because of what he did. But I don't think that would be enough.

Because I'm sure if he hadn't betrayed mom, she would still be alive today. It's because she can protect herself a million times. That's how strong she is and I'm sure of that.

"Are you all right?" Hector asked me before I went upstairs. I looked at him and nodded.

"I'll just go talk to Lolo Leoncio," I said to him and held his hand to simply take strength from him.

He's one of my strengths. Still is.

"Will you be okay? You don't have to do this right now," he gently told me and kissed my hand.

I felt some pain in my heart when I heard that from him. I suddenly remembered everything that happened to us in the past months. It was one after the other and both our hearts were restless.

"I'll be okay, Hector. He's still my grandfather. I just have to ask him something."

It took a long time before Hector let me go. He showed a lot of concern before he let me go up to Lolo's study room. When I was right at the door, I was suddenly stunned. I just stared at it and thought over and over whether I should continue or not.

My heart started pounding as I knocked and turned the door knob. The silence of the entire room was revealed to me. When I looked around this beautiful study room, I immediately saw Grandpa. It turned its back in my direction.

His study room is big yet I feel like it's crowded. I feel like I'm suffocating. Big, full of different books, with trophies and whatnot.

I silently marched towards Lolo's table as he turned his swivel chair towards me.

"Grandpa..." I uttered.

He frowned at me and nodded. I guess he's just waiting for me to speak up because that's his approach to anyone. His intimidating aura is strong enough to scare people. I wonder if mom was like him.

"What brings you here? Something wrong?” He asked in his cold baritone voice.

It seems he doesn't know the reason why I'm here—or he just doesn't want to let me know because he knows I'll still be affected.

"You're going to show up in a press conference tonight? what?" I asked him directly.

His expression showed that he was surprised by what I taught him. I just looked straight at him. Not minding his intimidating and strong aura. I am thankful that I inherited it from my father. That I inherited everything from him.

He averted his gaze and removed his glasses.

"Where do you get that news?" He asked me back.

I shrugged my shoulders even if he was not looking at me.

"So... what's the reason for this sudden appearance to the public? Did Vera tell you to do so?"

"You know I don't accept commands from anyone else, Ana," he immediately answered to me which is kinda true but I doubt it.

"Then why did you follow Damien Aragon's order about your agreement? Is that how much you love Leandro Alcaraz and you didn't live for your two children? Especially mommy's?" I will continue.

Suddenly, his expression hardened, and straightly looked at me intently. I can see the pain in his eyes.

"You still don't know much about everything else, Anastacia, and I want you to stay out of it. Just focus on rebuilding your family with Hector," he told me emphatically.

My heart was pounding because of what he said. I don't know if I'm feeling angry or sullen or sick or whatever else this feeling is called. Because I've experienced so much, I don't know what normal feeling is anymore.

I smiled bitterly and bowed. I looked at my shaking hands.

"I-I'm somehow part of it, Lolo Leoncio... I wish it wasn't. I hope you didn't just look for me when I didn't know everything. But I'm still thankful because otherwise, I wouldn't have known the one who truly gave birth to me. I didn't know how to react when you told me everything the first time... I just fainted and...”

I stopped because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't contain my thoughts again and I didn't know how to tell him that. My brain is in a mess because of the mixed information there.

"B-but still, I want to know what would happen if you tell these people the truth..."

"Nothing will change if I continue to fight anymore. Everything is over. Everyone else is done. I started this war and I need to end it now. I can't let you lose any more. I know Damien because I've been with him for so long. He was the big enemy of our family when it came to business even before. He is too persistent. He wants me to give up everything so I do. His strength is my weakness. And I'm willing to put an end to his strength even if it means that I will be destroyed in public... to everyone..." He said so I was stunned.

Everything he said did not enter my brain. I don't understand anything at all. He's giving up? Why? Why is he suddenly saying this? Where does it come from?

"So, is it true? That because you love Leandro Alcaraz so much, you intend to betray mom?” I asked him in disbelief.

That's because I'm still hoping that he might have another reason. That maybe this wasn't really his real reason why he did that.

But instead of answering me, he suddenly stood up. I just followed him with my eyes until he arrived in front of the glass window of the study room. He looked there. His gaze was far away from nothing so I kept my gaze on him.

“Only my children know how much I love them... equally. What happened to Leandro was his own fault and he was the only one to blame for it. That maybe I was lacking in them that's why he did that. But it's not because I love him more than Ariza and Gascon. I did that because... it was your mom's will. He always wanted to give up but your dad just stopped him. We didn't know his reason but before Damien told me about the agreement, Ariza went to him to get back the recording in exchange of her life. We went to rescue her but we were too late that time. Ariza was gone.”

After that conversation with Lolo that had no consequences, we went home right away. When I returned to the room from the kitchen, Hector was not inside so the

I guess it's with Amari outside. I took a quick shower and let myself rest for a bit before I went down.

While lying down I suddenly remembered what Ulysses had given me earlier. I quickly grabbed my sling bag and took that white envelope from there then went back to lying down.

I stared at that envelope until I saw the writing on the back.

Ares Constantine Aragon

To Anastacia Solei Alcaraz

I traced his name on that white envelope using my thumb. I felt my heart pounding as I opened that envelope with only white-scented paper.

I smiled bitterly as I looked at that paper. I brought it to my nose and closed my eyes when I smelled that sweet smell.

When I looked at it again, I saw his handwriting. It was so beautiful. Which is so beautiful that you wouldn't think it was a man's handwriting. It's even better to write than me.

I gasped when I looked at the whole paper. I bit my lower lip. My hands started shaking and instead of reading what was written there, I just put it back in the envelope and put it in the side table drawer. I don't know what else to do if I read that. For what else, Ares? You're now gone. You will never come back to pay for all the sins you have committed against me.

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart but I couldn't tell anyone. I can't excuse myself from everything. I feel the obligations heat my skin as soon as the sun kissed it.

I have to endure another day, making myself believe that I am fine. I have to work, socialize, go out, fix something, and many more. I have to do the things I don't have the will to fulfill.

But nevertheless, there's nothing I can change. I'm living my entire existence carrying a heavy heart without any words anyway—I'm getting used to being not okay. And I hate it more than anyone could know.

Ares' letter is slowly eating me up. I'm still wondering what it says and what it's about but I don't want to read it anymore. I don't know these feelings and I'm not familiar but all I can say is I hate this. I hate every single little thing about it. That every time I close my eyes, I hear his voice saying how much he wants to kill me.

And it's not helping me.

I lazily came down from the room because I felt hungry. As much as I wanted to skip meals, I couldn't because Hector might have noticed it. I know how worried he is about my condition so I shouldn't make it worse.

I found Hector in the kitchen currently cooking. It turned its back in my direction. He's wearing an apron above his white shirt and sweatpants. His rock-hard back even his biceps are visible in his clothes. Even with his back, he remains handsome. Which I doubt it would change. Its beauty is even increasing every day.

I quietly approached him and hugged him from behind. He stopped what he was doing for a moment and the next thing I knew, he was in front of me, facing me. I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Hey..." he uttered in his raspy voice, which made me smile.

"Hey," I replied to him. "What are you doing?" I added.

His eyes sparkled because of his wide smile. He's staring at me as if he's memorizing every little inch of my face which I love to see every single day. That's what I think I love about him.

"Husband duties?" He chuckled.

I could feel my whole face heating up because of what he said. He tightened his grip on my waist. I bit my lower lip when he kissed my forehead.

"You're great at doing that, huh? Where do you practice?” I teased him and left.

I sat on the high chair at the kitchen counter and just watched him continue what he was doing.

"I'd love to do this for you for the rest of our lives so I should be good at it. Our princess is still asleep. Do you want to do a...” He stopped and grinned so my eyes focused on him even more.

"What?"

"Quickie? Here?”

My eyes welled up when I heard that. I immediately hit him and the lazy Hector just laughed. I feel the heat of my whole face. I don't know when this guy will get serious. All of a sudden, he will stretch like this. And I'm not ready.

"You're so annoying," I whispered. I still feel the shame.

Hector laughed again and kissed my cheek. "I'm just kidding, Solei. But if you'd change your mind, I'm still in it," he continued so I just shook my head.

"I'm going to wake up Amari. Stop with your dirty mind, Apollo," I teased him and he laughed.

I saw his frown so I stood up. “Who's Apollo? My name's Hector, Anastacia.”

I snorted. “Fine, Apollo. Suit yourself," I said and left him there to go to Amari.

I feel like I found my home.