Chapter 44: Chapter 44

When I decided to leave the city almost six years ago, I thought I would leave everything so that I could start a new memory. I thought I completely left my young and shattered heart along with the memories of him. I learned to be happy alone despite all that had happened and been done to me by the people I loved so wholeheartedly. I decided to be happy alone and that only changed when I gave birth to Amari.

I never thought I would be completely and truly happy when I gave birth to my daughter. I didn’t even think she could give light back to my whole life despite it being dark. She came to me as I was drowning in darkness. She came to me as I was slowly exhausted and consumed by grief. My Amari saved me from drowning in the lake of sorrow and rage - and she deserves a complete and happy family that I thought I couldn’t give her.

I sighed when I saw how Hector came down and finally knelt near the door of the room while staring at my daughter. His eyes were bloodshot red. I could see how his expression softened as he seemed unable to speak.

"He's daddy, right?" I heard Amari ask me who turned to me for a moment before looking at Hector again.

I nodded repeatedly. I don’t even know what to say because of the mixed emotions I’m feeling. Even the people around us fell silent. I can no longer feel them. I feel like there are only three of us in this room.

When I looked at Hector again, I was already covered in my mouth when I saw how slowly his tears dripped from his reddened eyes.

"S-she is…" He said in a low voice and glanced at me. "S-she's mine?" His voice finally broke and he looked at Amari again.

I didn't have to speak or even nod at that question because my sobbing seemed to be proof, especially when Hector finally approached Amari. I can feel the longing in his eyes. I can feel how much he is hurting while being happy at the same time.

"S-she's mine… you're mine, baby… you're mine…" Hector said repeatedly and finally touched my daughter's face with a wide smile looking at him.

“I dreamed about you so many times,” Amari uttered. "Y-you're finally here… what took you so long, daddy?"

I could feel how my chest tightened because of the suppression of my moaning. I don’t even know where I’m going to cling because I feel like I’m going to fall. I could feel the happiness but I could feel more drawing pain in my heart as I watched them both.

Especially when I saw how my daughter hugged Hector and started crying quietly.

“W-what took you so long? I-I've been waiting… how long have you been, daddy… I've been waiting for you...” She said repeatedly while clinging tightly to her daddy's clothes.

“I-I've been waiting for you… why were you taking so long, daddy? W-why... Why are you so late?" Amari hissed between her sobs.

Hector's expression darkened. Pain is written all over his face. I bit my lip and finally released that exhausting feeling.

“I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry, baby… I'm sorry. Forgive me. Forgive daddy, ha. I'm sorry it took so long. I'm sorry… If I only knew...” Hector said weakly and glanced at me.

His eyes were full of pain. I suddenly felt guilty there, especially the last thing he said to Amari and what my daughter told him. I didn't even know that she was waiting for him all along. Yes, she asks where he is but only up to there. Every time I answer her question, she doesn't say a thing anymore. Until that was followed by her telling me about her dream - she was dreaming about Hector many times. She always dreamed of him especially when she saw him once in Elena’s condo.

I didn't know that she was waiting for him all along. I didn't even know she wanted to see him because she never mentioned it to me. And I can't help but feel bad as her mother. I feel like I wasn't enough for her. I feel like I didn't give her enough love and attention.

“Hush, baby. I'm so sorry daddy took so long. But don't worry, I'm here. Daddy is here. I will never ever leave you again. You will never have to wait long again. Not anymore. I promise.”

After that scene, Hector never spoke to me again. Earlier, He has been playing with Amari and now they are sleeping side by side in

his hospital bed while I am in my own bed. I smiled when I saw how much they looked alike. Even with their eyes closed, they are the same. Their eyes, sharp noses, just the right amount of redness, the shape of their face, and the color of their complexion. There is no denying that they are father and daughter.

"Feeling out of place, huh?"

I looked at that speaker for a moment and just smiled when I saw Via. She also looked at the two before finally sitting next to me.

“Of course not. I'm happy, Vi,” I said without looking away from the two of them.

“Obviously. I'm glad they finally met each other after what happened to both of you, especially to you. I'm so sorry for your loss, Ana,” she said and held my hand.

I smiled bitterly and went to bed. I sighed violently and was stunned by the ceiling.

“If I only knew, Via. If I only knew, I would have done everything I could just to protect him,” I said and sobbed again.

Despite the sadness and pain, I feel, my intense anger for Ares also prevails. Only now did I feel it - I felt like I could hurt him and kill him for what he did. I used to forgive him before - I used to forgive everyone who hurt me, but at these times I feel, my heart can’t calm down until I can let him know how much pain he did to me. I feel like I can't sit still until I see him suffering as much as the torture he did me.

That I’m willing to put dirt on my hands just to make him suffer and make him miserable - more than triple what I feel.

We stayed in the hospital for another three days before the doctor allowed us to go home - and during those three days, Hector did not speak to me. He would only talk to me when he needed to ask something about Amari, but when I asked him a question, he would always shake and nod as his response.

I know he's mad and I understand that more than anyone else. I just hope he talks to me before I'm completely drenched in saliva.

“I’m planning to take them with me, Don Leoncio, Donya Andrada. We're going home.”

I looked at Hector when he said that. He was talking to Grandpa and Grandma. We went straight home to the mansion and Hector has almost lived here since we got home.

My eyes caught how he simply glanced at me. I was stunned when he coldly stared at me.

“Are you sure? Are you all right? I'm asking just in case you're unable to protect my granddaughter and our Amari,” said Lolo Leoncio.

“Your brother is still outside, Apollo, and we can't risk their safety anymore. Especially when it comes to your family. Where will you take them? In your house?” Grandma asked.

“I have my own house and the security it is tight and strict. You don't have to worry about my condition. I can protect my own family against my family, Donya Andrada. I just want them to be with me. After all, Anastacia is my wife and Amari is my daughter.”

There was something warm in my heart when I heard that so I couldn’t help but smile. Before Hector could catch me again listening to them, I went upstairs to pack our things. Amari was right and still asleep because she was too tired from playing.

Moments later, my attention was caught when the door suddenly opened and it spat out Hector who immediately focused his gaze on

me. I automatically let go of the dress I was holding and waited for what he would do next. My shoulder dropped as he averted his eyes from me and approached his daughter.

I don't think he really intended to talk to me.

I sighed violently and did not continue what I was doing. I stood quietly and approached him just staring at Amari. I tried to reach his hand but I couldn't do that when he took both of his hands away from me.

I bit my lower lip. “Hector…” I called him.

I waited for him to answer but nothing really. I feel embarrassed for myself.

"I'm sorry," I almost whispered to myself. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I'm sorry I hid everything. Please talk to me…"

For the nth time, he didn't answer and didn't even look at me so I was completely weak while feeling so many frustrations for myself. The corners of my eyes began to heat up and I knew for one reason that I would burst into tears again.

“I… I was planning to tell you about her when I first found out I was pregnant. That was the day you left. That was the day your mom told me to stay away from you because you would never come back to me. I… I was just so scared. I was afraid you might not accept her and just leave as you did to me before so I didn’t... I decided not to tell you. I'm sorry… Please, talk to me. I didn't mean to…” I said and kept crying while holding him on his shoulder.

I rubbed one hand all over my face and kept the sobs out of my mouth because Amari might wake up. But I feel like my heart is increasingly divided into a million pieces because of the restraint not to get hurt.

“I-I was just scared. That she might be… she might just get hurt when I showed her to everyone. I was afraid that the people around her might make her feel that she was not as dear as I had been. I was so scared that it was tearing me apart each day because I really wanted to have a whole family. I want to give her a complete family but… but everything was so fucked up then,” I said in my trembling voice.

That was the last thing I said before I finally cried out loud, especially when he still hadn't spoken. I firmly wiped away my tears as I repeatedly bit my lip because of the irritated feeling.

When I felt that he really had no intention of answering, I walked to the door to get out. But before I could even touch the doorknob, I felt Hector's warm hug on me from behind me. It triggers my feelings more, and it makes me cry so hard.

“Let's leave the country. Will you come with me?” He whispered to me.

“I want us to live peacefully and that will never happen if we stay here. I'm sorry for everything. You don't have to apologize for how you felt while I was gone and was letting them fool me. So let's just leave - ”

"No, Hector," I interrupted him. I could feel him stop.

“I'm tired of forgiving. I can no longer forgive. He killed my child. I won't leave this place until I take Ares to hell where he belongs.”