Chapter 42: Chapter 42

“Ares is a wanted person now. The police are looking for him.”

That was the first thing they said to me right after I woke up. I wanted to ask them why they were looking for Ares because I didn’t understand anything. I don’t even remember how I got here to this hospital and what happened to me. All I knew was that I had a gunshot wound to the arm, but I felt like something was wrong with my body.

I feel incomplete and I didn't even know why.

I looked around the room where I was and there I saw Grandpa Leoncio and Ulysses talking to the cops. At my side was Elena who seemed to be watching for me. I suddenly remembered my daughter so I tried to stand up. I immediately felt Elena holding me so I turned to her.

“Don’t move, Ana. You are not well yet. You need a rest,” she said. My forehead furrowed.

“Where’s Amari? Is she okay? Who is with her? I want to see her,” I told her. I could feel the warming of the corners of my eyes for no apparent reason.

I feel something is wrong with me. I feel like I am not complete. I need to see my daughter!

“What is going on? Why am I here? I want to go home!" I screamed and violently removed her hold on me.

“Ana! Oh my god!” Elena hissed. I quickly removed my IV and was ready to go out but Ulysses quickly stopped me so I was even more hysterical.

"I want to go home! I want to see my daughter! Why am I here? Why can't you just let me go?!” I kept screaming and almost wandered out of that room. My tears kept falling for no apparent reason.

“Ana, calm down. Hey, look at me,” Ulysses uttered and I gently addressed him. “Amari is fine. Don't worry about her, she's just in the mansion.”

I shook violently and sobbed again when a scenario registered in my head that gave me a shiver.

“S-someone wants to kill me, Ulysses! Amari! A-Amari… I need to protect her. Let me go! I don't want to stay here anymore!” I screamed

and tried to get away again but Ulysses hugged me even more.

Eventually, I became increasingly weak and lost myself. I feel like I'm floating again. I didn't feel anything. My whole body became numb. When I looked at everyone, there was a hint of concern as they watched me. What is happening? Why am I here? What happened? Why do I feel incomplete? Why do I feel so lonely? I don't understand anything.

Ulysses put me back in my bed and there came nurses and a doctor. I just stared at the ceiling of the room while trying to keep in mind what was happening around me. I can suddenly hear voices in my head. They all have whispers to me I don’t understand. I feel like they were drowning me. They drown me in something I don’t know.

"Anastacia hija, how are you feeling?" I heard the doctor ask me a question. I felt Elena's grip on my hand.

I looked at them all. "I can't feel anything," I almost whispered and the voices started to roar in my head again.

"What's going on, doc?" I asked again.

“Do you remember what happened to you? Why are you here? Who shot you?”

I was shocked by his question. I looked at everyone again as if waiting for my answer.

“I-I don't understand you, doc. Why? Did someone shoot me?” Full of astonishment I asked him.

Everyone gasped. They seemed so shocked by what I said that I was even more confused. I was about to say something again when the doctor cut me off. He handed me a paper. I just looked at it for a moment and turned to him again because even then I could not understand what was written there.

"What is this?" I asked full of confusion.

"Ana, read it first," said Elena so I shook my head.

“Can’t you just tell me everything I need to know? I'm so confused! What the hell is happening? Why am I here? What's going on? I don't understand...” I hissed on them. The corners of my eyes are starting to heat up again.

“Ares abducted you three days ago. He was the one who shot you, Anastacia. Leon found you bleeding at the main entrance of Terra Verde.” Grandpa Leoncio answered.

I could feel my heartbeat slowing down when I heard that. Before I could even react, the doctor sneezed again so I focused my eyes on him.

“I know this is not the right time to tell you this, but it’s better for you to know everything. You had a miscarriage, Ana. Your body is so bruised because of what happened that your baby can't handle it. I'm so sorry.”

Something exploded inside of me when I heard that. Something had died inside of me at that time. In an instant, I suddenly felt everything. In an instant, I suddenly remembered everything that had happened to me. Ares kidnapped me and almost tortured me… and raped me. He shot me. He killed mom. He is the cause of everything. In an instant, I suddenly felt the death of my heart. Gradually, the deadly pain inside of me swallowed me whole. I feel like my heart is being torn and crushed. What did he say?

"M-miscarriage?" I uttered and burst into tears. “H-how? Wait, doc… how? I had a miscarriage? I-I don't know… I don't know… just wait… how did it happen? I-I didn't know I was pregnant!” I screamed and my sobs echoed throughout the room.

“Ana, calm down, please. Calm down!”

“N-no! I-I didn't know! I didn't even know! Why… oh my god… I can't…” I said and burst into tears again.

I do not know what to do. I didn't even know how I would feel at those times because of my heartache. I feel like it’s breaking. I feel like there are millions of knives stuck in it. I can't even breathe properly!

That's why I bled that day? Could it be that my abdomen suddenly hurt so badly that day? That while Ares was punishing me for a sin I

didn't mean to, I was also punishing my child? I didn't even know about it! I didn’t even feel any symptoms! That if I only knew, I would have been more careful. That if I only knew, I would avoid people who might hurt me. Especially him.

Especially him who until now is still gone. To this day, I still don’t see him. Until now, he still didn’t show up to me - that I was even expecting him to save me but he didn’t show up. Maybe Ares was right then. Maybe he didn't really love me. Maybe he just used me too. Fuck it!

And now that our child… My child died because of them - I don’t even know how to forgive myself, especially the people who caused everything.

The night came when I could not see my daughter because I was not allowed to go out and she was not allowed to come here. The

night also came when I could not talk to everyone because I felt like I had suddenly lost my will for everything. The only thing on my mind is the desire to go home and be with Amari because I miss her so much.

I slowly sat up. I looked at Leon who was currently in front of his laptop and seemed to be doing something. Elena went home earlier because she has work tomorrow, so I let her go. I tried not to worry about Amari's condition because she was in the mansion, but I still couldn't get my mind off what happened to me, something I was afraid of. Especially the fact that I didn’t even get to protect what I was carrying with now is gone.

"Do you need anything?"

My attention was caught when I heard that from Leon. It was only then that I realized he was in front of me.

I smiled tiredly at him but it never reached my eyes.

"I… I just want to ask something," I told him hesitantly. He finally came to me and sat next to me.

In an instant, I felt like I was going to cry again because of the extreme sadness I was feeling. This is the first time I felt something like this - as if my heart is full of sorrow and loneliness. I feel like there is only a small piece left in me. I feel like dying. I feel like slowly dying from pain, something that gave me a reason to give up because I can't endure it alone anymore. My heart tore into pieces over and over again for the same reason and until now, I don't even know what to do to make it stop. The desire to just give up is slowly eating my whole being. I suddenly want to become numb again just like before. I suddenly want to tear my chest and take my heart out just to not feel anything at all. I am so fucking lonely and I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't do it alone anymore. I need him. I really need him beside me to hold me while I'm breaking. I need him to hold me tight while I'm crashing. But where is he now? Where are you, Hector? Please, help me...

"What is it?" He asked me.

I averted my eyes from him and bit my lower lip. I know I should be mad at him for leaving me like this. I should be mad at him for not showing up. But in my heart, I knew I was still looking for him to this day. That I didn't believe what Ares said - that he was now with Ayanna. I can't believe that.

“Uhm… do you know where Hector is? Does he already know what happened to me?” I boldly asked him.

Leon is my first cousin. Ever since Grandma and Grandpa introduced me all over Alcaraz, he was the first to come and talk to me. Like Ulysses, I was able to reconcile with him easily because he was also easy to get along with. Also, he is my only cousin on my mother's side.

"You mean they didn't tell you yet what happened to him?"

When I heard that, I quickly turned to him. "What do you mean?"

Leon was about to open his mouth to say something but we were both stunned and surprised when the door suddenly slammed. When it opened, my soul almost parted from me when I saw Hector.

His head is bloody and there are many wounds on his face and arm!

"Hector!"

"S-Solei!" He screamed and finally fell so I immediately ran after him while Leon was carrying my dextrose.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Wait-"

Hector looked up at me. His hand went up as if I was reaching out so I immediately grabbed it and kissed it repeatedly. When I looked at him, I saw the twinkle in his eyes and the blood on his face and his tears continued to mix.

“T-thank god… y-you’re safe…” He uttered before he finally lost consciousness.