Chapter 40: Chapter 40

I woke up when I felt extreme pain in my hands and feet. When I opened my eyes, it was only then that I remembered again what had happened and what Ares had tried to do to me. He almost raped me!

I looked around the room again. It's a small room. The equipment is still in good condition and the surroundings are clean. It was comfortable but I could feel the loneliness of those times. No one is showing up again since before. I’m starting to hear voices in my mind again and I know that’s not good for me. I feel like the situation is slowly driving me crazy.

Sometime later, the door of the room where I was suddenly opened and the man who was one of the reasons why I was suffering was exposed to me. I couldn’t look at him, so I remained to stare at nothingness, thinking about my Amari while also worrying about Hector’s condition. My mind is full of painful memories. That no matter how many times I try to forget that, I just can’t. It’s slowly destroying me.

"Eat first," I heard him say and laid the tray of food on the side table of the bed where I was.

My hands and feet are still tied. My mouth remained shut as I felt my surroundings. I have nothing else to do now but to think of a way how I can get out of this place.

"Eat, Ana," he said softly again.

"I don't fucking need you," I said firmly to him and focused my gaze on him.

His jaw tightened as he stared at me. He seemed to measure the extent of his patience. I don't know what he is thinking. I can’t read the expression he’s showing me right now, but I know he can read mine. All my anger and hatred I knew was screaming all over my being so I stared at him even harder.

He sighed violently and was about to approach me so I became alert. I immediately backed away from him because of the anger I was feeling.

"I will untie the rope from your hand so you can eat—"

"Don't you ever fucking touch me, I'm warning you. I don't fucking want to be held by you, so please, stay away from me," I emphatically threatened him.

Pain is written all over his face so I laughed. I even noticed him glancing at the clothes he tore. I don't know if it's a guilt I saw for a moment in his eyes. Suddenly, anger bursts out inside my heart. It is burning me as well as my eyes and I couldn't help it anymore. I silently wept because of the intense hatred I felt in my heart for these people who did nothing but hurt me. I wanted to ask all of them how much I sinned against them so that they would do this to me, but even speaking seemed to make me tired as well.

I gasped air as I was trying to calm myself, but it triggers my feelings more mostly when I suddenly remember everything, he did to me last night. I sighed violently and looked up at him who kept on staring at me still.

“Why are you doing this to me? Do you know what you did to me? What do you want from me?” I asked him. My voice cracked.

He averted his gaze from me and turned away. I bit my lower lip and let out a loud moan. I can no longer describe the pain I feel. I no longer know what else to call this thing. I want to go home! I really miss my daughter! I want to hug her so that the pain I feel even for a moment will be relieved. I want everyone to stop hurting me!

"W-what? I'm more than empty right now. You almost raped me! Why do you keep hurting me? What did I do wrong to you? W-what did I do wrong, h-ha?! T-tell me, Ares, because I don't understand this anymore!"

“Because you were asking for more! You were asking too much! That even if you don’t say it, I know you will never agree with my plans. That even if you tell me you want to help me, I know you will stop me from all my plans! That's why you ran away with Apollo, right? Because what? Because even though I've been with you for a long time, you prefer being claimed by him! You even had a child with him, Ana! Do you know how much my heart was torn when I found out about your child with him?!” He shouted full of hatred.

His eyes were bloodshot red. His eyes twinkled as tears flowed from there. My heart grew heavier because I knew my sin but I still could not understand why everything that happened to him seemed to be my fault.

“Y-you even told me — you told me how you wanted to stay with me forever. That you will never leave me. That you will always understand me and help me in my dream. I trusted you that night! Because I fucking love you! That even Agatha who is with me now is still you I am looking for! You reacted as if I wasn't that important to you and then I will fucking find out you're married to the person I hate the most and you even have a child! You know how I fucking loathe that man! You know he is my weakness but you prefer him to be your running mate. With so many men, Ana! How do you expect me to accept everything when it is killing me big time?!” He shouted at me and those tears kept flowing from his eyes.

That pain that stuck in my throat and the pain in my heart intensified as I looked at him. He let out curses as traces of his suffering. I can see hell in his eyes. It's burning and in pain. It’s slowly consuming me. It’s slowly tearing me apart.

“I would have been willing to accept everything. You know I can accept everything because I’m also guilty but I can’t accept if Apollo… fuck! Why did you even fall for him— ”

“Because even though we were together for a while, he didn't make me feel that I was lacking. He didn’t use me! He didn’t want to use me just for his own pleasure. He was willing to give up everything for me even if that's not what I wanted him to do, but you — for wealth and just to surpass him, you can afford to use me! Why do you even call it love when you were just using me all along?!” I screamed and violently sighed.

I sobbed again as I looked at him. Still can’t believe we ended up in this situation.

“Y-you know what I went through all my life! You know how much I suffered and was hurt by what my family did to me then but you are also one of them. You are also one of those people who is slowly destroying and consuming me without my knowledge! But have you heard anything from me? Nothing, isn't it? Because I don't want to be hurt even more once I complain!”

I feel like my heart is following every word I utter to him. I feel like I’m drowning in so much hatred and pain. I felt like I was going to die letting out all the resentment I had for him.

“I tried to understand all of you! That I may really have shortcomings as a child, sister, and girlfriend. That I may not have given you something. Or maybe I'm really not the only one you love. That as I take care of you all, I am gradually exhausted. That while I love you all, I am crushed and I can do nothing! I can't complain because I don't want to hurt you but… fuck it… it's too much! Why does it hurt when all I want is to be loved and noticed by all of you?!”

I almost fainted because of that cry. I could feel my heart pounding with so much pain and anger. In its extreme pain, I wanted to tear my chest apart and take my heart out of it. That even if I force myself to be strong because I know my daughter is still waiting for me, I can’t do it anymore. I knew I could no longer afford to be strong during those times. That I want to hurt anyone just so they know my hardships. That I would blame anyone because I know I am a good person but this is how everyone responds to me.

Eventually, Ares did not answer again. He just stood up and quietly left me in that room. I cried, even more, when I felt alone again. I want to go home but I know it won't be easy for me. I don't know what he's up to with me and I'm sure that won't be good.

I could feel the weight of my eyes when I awoke from a long sleep. The food on the side table was exposed to me. I immediately got up and looked for something to do to loosen these cords from my hands and feet. When I looked around again, I couldn't really see anything so I just started biting the rope on my hand. I was shocked when it came away from me for a moment. I followed to remove the strap on my legs. When I finally got out, I slowly stepped towards the door. I turned it over and peeked outside. The quiet hallway opened up to me. I pulled my head out and turned to both sides. When I didn't see anyone, I went out completely while I was almost swallowed by nervousness.

I looked up from the second floor where I was. This is a villa. I saw the wide living room downstairs. I was about to fall when I saw Ares pass by and enter a room downstairs. I bit my lower lip and ignored my torn clothes. I quickly stepped up and down. When I passed the door that Ares entered, I heard that he seemed to be talking to someone.

“I don’t care what happened to her. Her parents are gone so she has to pay for all the arrears they made to Mom back then!” I heard his scream as he spoke.

My feet were nailed to the side when I heard that. Who is he referring to?

“She’s here! Do you think that idiot can do anything else? If there is, he would have been here yesterday to save Ana, but where is he now? Enjoying his life with Ayanna. What a fucking loser.”

I gasp when I heard that. The intense pain draws into my heart. There I remembered the reason I was here — Hector and I argued that day. That if I hadn’t just may be seen him with Ayanna, I wouldn’t be here today. That if I hadn’t just may be heard what he said about me, I wouldn’t be here today and I’m with my daughter.

My heartbeat slowed. I was ready to go out but I was stunned again when I heard what Ares said next.

“I killed her mom a long time ago. I was still young at that time; do you think I can't kill anyone at this age? You're underestimating me, Matthew.”

My whole body trembled. Although I have not yet confirmed who he is referring to, I am sure that person is what he has in mind — he was the one who killed my biological mom. Everyone claims that she died in an accident but Ulysses says she has multiple wounds that seem to have been tortured for a long time. He was the one who did it. Ares was the one who killed my mother and his accomplice Matthew?!

Before I was completely consumed by my emotions, I acted quickly. I need to get out of here! I have to tell everyone what I heard! I’ll make sure he pays for it all!

The door was almost within my reach when someone suddenly grabbed my head so I shouted. When I looked back at who it was, I felt the parting moment of my soul when I saw the frightening eyes of Ares.

"Where do you think you're going, huh?"

All I know is I was terrified by his voice. I winced as he tightened his grip on my hair.

"L-let me go, you beast!" I shouted at him and struggled with his hold but he suddenly dragged me to nowhere.

“You're not leaving this place, Ana. Not until you experience what I did to your beloved mother, Ariza Alcaraz,” he said and picked me up.

I just realized that we were in a basement. He violently lowered me onto the folding bed that was there and started tying my hands again.