Chapter 24: Chapter 24

"Mommy, what does papa look like?"

Amari's questions about her father that night didn't leave my mind anymore. It was as if I suddenly woke up at those times. I feel like little by little, it enters my mind what exactly the situation we have now is, especially my daughter. That didn’t even enter my mind because I wanted us to live quietly. It never entered my mind that one day, she would think, understand everything, and start asking questions about her father.

That I can't answer because I'm not planning anything.

"What do you think, why she asked you that so suddenly?" Erika said while we were having a coffee one afternoon.

I just watch her while doing her project on a subject. I suddenly missed school.

"Maybe because of what she's watching," was not my own answer to her. I heard her grin.

“Or maybe because she noticed that she doesn't have a father while her friends do. Didn't it cross your mind that the day would come when she would look for Sir Apollo?”

I was shocked because of what she said. I quickly looked around because someone might hear her and immediately turned to her when I saw no one. We are in the hut now just next to the house. Amari was inside, sound asleep.

“You're so loud. I never said that he was Amari's father," I said to her, and she laughed even harder. She looked up at me.

“Even if you don't say it, I can see it clearly. When Sir Apollo saw Amari, he would surely think the same because he looked very much like your daughter. You can't deny that fact for your life, Anastacia,” she said simply so I was blown away.

She's right in all aspects — Amari's Hector's carbon copy. They are the same color of eyes, brown and very vivid. She was as white as her father. Their eyebrows are thick and their eyelashes are long. I also noticed some similarities, especially in their favorite foods — they both like sweets and don't like beans. The only thing Amari got from me was her quietness and observance. At first, I thought, she just didn’t really want to socialize with other kids, but as time went on, I came to understand what she really wanted. She's always silent but she noticed every single little thing around her — the habit my mom hates that my dad loves so much because I also inherited it from him.

“Wait, have you talked yet? Is Ayanna really pregnant?” She changes the subject.

I lazily leaned back in my chair and looked out at the wide paddy field. After hearing what happened yesterday at the mansion, I left immediately and stayed at home. To this day, I still don’t see him and we still don’t talk. Which is I doubt it would happen at all because we really don't have anything to talk about. He already knew our situation. He's the only one who doesn't want to let go.

And I gave in right away with just one hold.

"We don't have anything to talk about," I said lazily to Erika and stood up. "We don't have any."

"Why do you seem to be convincing yourself rather than answering me?" She was still sarcastic so I just pushed her and entered. Erika just laughed.

I went straight to the room and peeked at Amari. She was still sound asleep. Then I just remembered the calls and texts to me by Abraham, the lawyer who texted me the other day. I picked up my cell phone and read the last thing he said.

Abraham Narvaza

I hope you realized that everything I said is true and this is very important. I'll be waiting for you here in Manila.

I stared at it for a few more minutes and then sighed violently. I typed a reply for him.

To Abraham Narvaza

k.

-

“Ana! Sir Anton is calling you!”

I quickly got out of the kitchen and ran toward the living room. Nanay Soledad was seen just coming from the farm to deliver food to Tatay Lucio.

"Huh?"

“Sir Anton is calling you. Erika is still in town. I will take care of this and my granddaughter first,” she said and sat down on the bamboo chair there and fanned herself with the salakot.

I scratched my head. “Huh? E why? Nothing-"

“Just go. You haven't been to the mansion for days. I won't force you if Rika is just here now. What is happening to you?” She asked me full of astonishment so I was even more embarrassed.

I rolled my eyes and averted my gaze from her. “N-no, Nanay. All right, I'll just get dressed. Amari is with Lily in the other house,” I said and went to the room.

"I heard they will stay here for another week because an accident happened at the resort yesterday." I even heard her say that.

I took just a simple everyday dress and tied my hair up. "What happened?"

“Sir Apollo…” When I heard that, I was automatically stunned by the undressing and listened to what she would say next.

“He fell from the second floor of the hotel. Fortunately, his condition was not serious and he was taken to the hospital immediately. He just came home and rested in the mansion just now.”

When I heard that, my whole body suddenly went cold. I feel like I suddenly lost consciousness because of that. I wasted no more time and quickly dressed then went out. I couldn't even say goodbye to Nanay Soledad because I was in a hurry.

The walk I did was just to get to the mansion quickly. In front, I passed and there I met Sir Anton who looked at me seriously.

"Uhm... Nanay Soledad said you're calling me," I stammered to him. I don’t know if it's a smile I saw on his lips or what.

"Calm down first, Ana," he said teasingly to me. I felt the heat all over my face. I sighed violently and gasped.

"I'm calm, sir."

“Really, huh? Then go upstairs now. Apollo's not eaten since yesterday. I don't know if that idiot planned to starve to death because he didn't succeed when he jumped from the 2nd floor of the hotel.”

My eyes widened then quickly turned to him. “W-what?”

He laughs. "Just kidding. There is food in the kitchen, just take it to him. He doesn't want to receive guests but if you are, maybe it's okay,” he laughed and winked at me.

My whole face grew hotter and I felt like my head was going to explode because of the embarrassment I was feeling. I bit my lower lip and marched towards the kitchen. There I saw a tray with only food and tea, so I immediately took that and headed to the guest room where he was sleeping.

Before I entered, I was stunned for a few minutes in front of the door, asking what am I doing again. I thought I was ready to step away because Ayanna and he are going to have children and I'm sure their marriage will push through. That's what I intend to put inside my head. What am I doing now?

I bit my lower lip and heaved a deep sigh before knocking. No one answered so I went inside. The dark room exposed me and only the lampshade served as light. The windows are closed even the curtains. It was so quiet that I could only hear the flip of the clock. I was almost horrified there especially when I heard my own heartbeat.

I looked down at the bed and there I saw Hector sleeping. I quietly approached him and laid what I was carrying on the side table. He had no upper garment and the blanket was only up to his waist. He has a bandage on his shoulder down to his chest. It was only then that I also noticed his expression while his eyes are shut. He seemed to be struggling and still sweating profusely. He also had scars on his face and on his arms. Could it be that he hasn’t shown up since yesterday because this is what happened to him? I thought he had returned to Manila with Ayanna because she had already returned.

There seemed to be a pain in my heart. I slowly sat down next to him and properly touched the scars on his face but I was stunned. I remember what Ayanna told him and our situation now. I closed my eyes tightly and withdrew my hand, but before I could do that, he held my wrist. I quickly looked up at him. His forehead furrowed and seemed to hurt as he slowly opened his eyes. That focused directly on me.\

“What are you doing…” He whispered weakly. “Why are you here?”

I didn’t expect him to ask that. Anything stuck in my throat hurt even more. I averted my gaze from him and tried to withdraw my hand but he placed it on his chest. There I felt his slow and strong heartbeat.

“What happened to you? You haven't eaten since yesterday. Are you committing suicide?” I could no longer restrain myself because of the irritation and anxiety I was feeling.

When I looked at him again, he quickly averted his eyes from me. “I’m fine. I have no appetite…"

“Oh, should I call Ayanna then? That's when your energy returned?”

I quickly bit my lip because of what I said. I could still feel the jealousy there. What right do you have, Ana?

"I don't want a fight," he said weakly and let go of my hand then covered his arm with his eyes. I felt even more irritated because of his behavior. I can't really get him.

"Eat, Hector, and then I'll go home," I told him emphatically and got up to prepare his food.

"Why did you come here if you're going home right away?" He asked a tough question, so I laughed.

“Sir Anton just ordered me to do this. This is clearly not my own will,” I replied and looked at him. "Eat so I can go home."

I felt the tension in his arm and the tension in his jaw. I’m not sure if it’s anger or what.

"Just eat already-"

“Leave me alone. Go home if you want. You can leave if you want. That's so likely of you, Anastacia. I don't fucking mind,” he firmly said and immediately look at me sharply. I could clearly see the anger there and the pain.

I don’t know why I was offended by what he said especially his calling me by that name. I put my feelings aside and averted my eyes from him. I almost returned the bowl of soup I was holding to the tray.

I laughed bitterly. "I don't even know why I came here," I whispered and turned my back on him but I quickly stopped walking when I heard what he said.

“So, you’re really leaving me like this, huh? You'll follow everything I said so easily?” I could still hear the weight of his voice. When I looked back again, he was already sitting on the bed. He had both feet on the floor and was looking straight at me. His aura was very dark.

"That's what you said—"

“I don’t want you to fucking leave! What is wrong with you?”

I blinked quickly because of the sudden rise in his voice. I felt the gradual trembling of my knees and hands.

“H-Hector, I can't understand you. I just obeyed Sir Anton's order to come here. I have no other reason to come here on purpose,” I told him directly. Liar, Ana! You almost stumbled earlier in a hurry just to see him!

Pain is written all over his face, so I immediately averted my eyes from him. The blockage in my throat became heavier and more painful. My mouth fell open.

"What are you saying?"

“I’m saying that… this is all wrong. You are going to have a child and… get married so I have no reason to see you…” I said and looked him straight in the eyes. "Why do you even come here in the first place?"

He laughs sarcastically as his jaw tightens. “Are you serious? You don't know what you're saying— ”

“But I heard everything right! Ayanna is pregnant with your child. You clearly came here to make me your mistress. I wanted to live quietly and peacefully, but until now you've been bothering me! Ever since then, you’ve been messing with me! I would be happy now if not… if we hadn’t just accidentally gotten married! I would not be in this situation if not…”

I couldn't continue what I was going to say because of the tightness in my chest. I wiped away my tears quickly and repeatedly continued down the path as I felt my weakness. Fear kept enveloping my heart and I couldn’t even tell him that because he was the cause of it all.

“I-I was waiting for you! Because you said you would come back but you didn't. And now… after so many years you suddenly appear to me as if nothing had happened. You're a mess! I don't t understand you! You left the country suddenly without saying anything to me and then suddenly you came back here to play with my feelings again. And now you're engaged! And you are going to have a child, where am I now?” I said to him and burst into tears again. I forced myself to silence and quietly cried.

I don't know why. I’m not sure at all. I don’t know if I don’t understand or if everyone is just deliberately unfair to me. It was as if I had no place with the people I continued to secretly love. It is so fucked up! It is so unfair! I was expecting it. I was expecting we get well because he's now here again. That he came back to me. I’m not sure why I’m hurting; is it for myself or my child? Those questions of Amari are terrifying. I couldn’t even answer her because I wasn’t sure at all. If only it were easy to tell him. If only it would be easy to admit everything to him. If only I had the courage to tell him everything… I really don't know.

As I continued to quietly cry, I felt him gently hold my trembling hands. I looked up at him. He was already in front of me and bent over. I thought that was what he was going to do when all of a sudden, his face sank into my shoulder while still holding my hands. I cried, even more, when I remembered what he meant by what he was doing. He's resting…

“I’m sorry…” He whispered weakly but softly. “Don’t be mad, please. What do you want me to do? I'll do everything… Just stop crying.”

I can clearly hear his heavy breathing. His warm breath hits my neck.

“C-come on, tell me. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to let you go? I'll do it… I'll do it, baby. Just stop crying. I'm so sorry. It's hurt to see you crying.” His voice broke as my heart stopped beating for a second.

I want you to fight for me… for us, but even that is impossible now.