Chapter 18: Chapter 18

I know in myself that I was a bomb. A bomb-ticking that was always waiting for its time to explode. And by the time it exploded, everyone around me would be vulnerable and hurt — something that made me choose not to show it to everyone.

Because that's okay. Because none of it really matters. Especially my feelings.

But then Hector suddenly appeared and was claiming me as his wife. I don't know when and how. Nor am I sure how it suddenly just disappeared. Maybe because of what happened. And now he's this cold again. Even lately, he doesn’t seem to want to let me go while repeatedly saying how much he misses me.

“I can't believe you really knew each other. How? He's the one I was referring to earlier as the most handsome of the five who just came home from another country,” said Erika who remained to stare at the Hacienda from the window of the hut where we live.

I just scratched my head so hard and watched her play happily and there seemed to have no care in the world. Earlier, even before we left the creek and returned home, the man suddenly became cold, but I didn't understand that when I remembered her. I suddenly felt nervous for her safety. What if they meet?

I noticed Erika staring at me so I looked at her. Its eyes narrowed at me as if examining me so I felt detached. I'm sure she'll say something again…

“Right. He's the father…” I heard her whisper, so I was shocked. I could feel my heartbeat slowing as I turned to look at my daughter who was quietly playing.

“He’s Amari’s father. Why didn't I immediately notice the resemblance between the two?” She added, which made my heart beat even harder.

I tried to forget it for how many years. That fact struggles to squeeze into my brain but I also struggle to get rid of it because I know it’s wrong. Everything we started then was wrong and I can’t accept that. I also couldn't bear to think that other people would immediately think of her when they found out about her. That she's just a mistake. She is just our mistake.

Even before I could react to what Erika said, a series of knocks on the door caught our attention. We stood together when Mother Soledad peeked through the doorway and immediately focused her gaze on me.

"Ma, why?" I asked. I glanced at Amari for a moment as she looked in our direction.

“One of Sir Anton's companions is calling you. Did you know each other? That's what I heard them talking about.”

Erika and I looked at each other when I heard that and then glanced at my daughter again. I bit my lower lip and turned to Mother Soledad.

"W-why?"

“I don’t know, Ana. Just go so that you can rest immediately if anyone orders you. We will take care of your child,” she told me with a smile, and when she entered, she approached Amari.

I felt Erika holding me and guiding me out. I was about to say goodbye to Amari but I noticed a large man in the distance. I immediately looked away from it when I realized who it was.

“Sir Anton said they will stay here for two weeks with his friends. I get it that you're still hiding Amari, but what if they see each other?” Erika asked me a serious question so my forehead furrowed.

"Why two weeks?" My voice was full of nervousness when I asked her that.

“Probably because of the renovation of Caza Lazaro and the resort…”

“Ana! Go there and Sir Anton is waiting for you!” We heard Nanay Soledad shout so I winced. Erika was just smiling and looking at me so I was stunned.

“You take care of Amari first. I'll be right back. ” I told her and she just laughed so I stared at her. What's wrong with this woman?

“If you can come back right away. I heard he misses you so much, eh.” She mockingly said to me. I just slapped her arm and left.

My chest throbbed loudly as I crossed the road to the Hacienda. I no longer saw the man at the entrance gate of the Hacienda so I just went straight to the back to go through. When I entered the mansion, I only heard the laughter of the men. I have no idea why this man is calling me. What could he need?

Even before I could enter the lanai of the mansion, I met Sir Anton who looked at me differently. It was as if he was teasing me and wanted to say something. To my knowledge, he is only three years older than me so I am sure he is 31 years old. He was the only son and firstborn of Lazarus so he was assigned to manage all their family business. He has a sister and lives abroad. Said did not like provincial life.

“Are you okay, Ana? What are you doing here?"

I was startled by his question so I stopped walking and looked at him confused.

“Huh? Nanay Soledad said that you called me,” I replied to him. It was only then that I noticed it holding an ice bucket and a bottle of Hennessy. They were drinking.

“Ah, yeah, I said that, but I’m not the one who needs you. Come with me.” He ordered me so I couldn't yawn anymore.

Nanay Soledad's family has been serving the Lazaro family for a long time, so when they accepted me, I promised that I would also serve as best I could to make up for their help to me. Erika has a job in town while continuing her course. If I had chosen to study then maybe…

"Apollo, you called Anastacia here?" Sir Anton asked immediately after entering the lanai. I don’t know what I’m going to do first; to run or hide out of embarrassment when I saw the others with him there who immediately focused their gaze on me. I could feel the heat all over my face.

"Oh, the one that got away, eh?" I heard someone say so I was even more embarrassed.

Eventually, I felt someone approaching me because I just realized that his palm was already out in front of me.

“So, you’re Anastacia. I'm Symon. ” It introduced me so I looked up at him because he was also tall.

Before I could shake his hand, it immediately disappeared in front of me and I was exposed to Hector's sharp look so I was surprised.

“Stop with your perv acting, Sy. Leave her alone,” he told the man seriously. Next, I heard the laughter of the others there.

“So, it’s true. You're Anastacia? Apollo's been looking for you for how many years, and you're here,” replied a man with long hair and a serious aura. I could see Hector frowning at him. His jaw tightened even more and I heard him whisper a cuss.

“Uhm…” I wasn't sure what to say so I kept my mouth shut in front of them all. Until Sir Anton spoke again.

“What exactly do you need from Ana? If not, let her go home, bro. She needs to be with her— ”

"N-no!" I was quick to hear what Sir Anton had to say because I already knew what he was going to say. For some unknown reason, he knew about Amira even though he rarely came home. Mother Soledad probably told him.

Then I realized that they all looked at me in amazement so I was just disappointed. “I mean… I'm not going to do anything. Maybe you need help here now because you're going to drink. All right. I'll just get your glasses ready,” I said hurriedly and left them there, and went straight to the kitchen.

When I got there, I could almost catch my breath. It was only then that I realized that I had held my breath while facing him. I was stunned for a while there and started to act even though I didn't know what they needed. I noticed as if there were glasses already there. Ah… they need food.

"What exactly are you doing?"

I almost jumped when I heard that voice. Before I turned around, he was on my side so I just tilted my head to look at him. Its eyes were still stern looking in the other direction. The forehead is furrowed and the jaw is tense. It seems angry. Before he could look at me, I immediately avoided looking at him.

"U-uhm… I thought you were calling me."

“I've been looking for you since you left without saying anything and with just one call from me now you're here right away. Why is that?” His voice is cold, yet I can feel his anger as well.

I closed my mouth there and focused more on the plate I was holding. I do not know what to say. I feel like the words have suddenly escaped me so I don’t know what to say now. I feel guilt in my heart for leaving suddenly but more dominant is the fact that I have imprinted on my mind for years. It was really wrong.

“What were you doing here all those years? Seeing you here like this is like telling me that you have no plans on coming back anymore, huh.” His voice was still cold so I couldn't speak even more.

"Anyway, I was planning to file an annulment since my engagement with someone."

My heart sank when I heard that. I feel like I woke up suddenly which is why I look back at him immediately. I don't know but is it the pain I'm feeling in my heart right now?

Hector then looked at me with his cold pair of eyes. It even smirked. “But I think it’s too much. You were supposed to file that, right? But then you left. Do you still want to pursue it?”

All those questions were for me but he didn't let me answer when he averted his eyes from me and turned his back. I focused my gaze on his broad back.

"In that case, you need money, but you don't have enough of it…" He stopped suddenly and the next thing I heard was his deep sigh. “I need an assistant. The salary is I think enough and fair. I'll hire you and your first day is tonight. Come with me,” he said in his deep and baritone voice so I was alarmed.

But before I could complain, he quickly disappeared from my sight. It was only then that I felt a fear that there was none before. I was still holding onto my chest when I felt its seeming disappearance. What does he mean? Assistant? Where? In his company? Does that mean I have to go back to Manila for that job?!

The night is getting deeper and colder. I looked at the position of Hector and his companions. It was one o'clock AM but they were still not done and here I was just sitting on one side away from him. What he said still haunts my mind. His offer to me and the engagement he said. He is getting married. But he is still married. That can't be. Idiot, Ana. That's why he ordered you to file an annulment!

I hugged my jacket more because of the cold I was feeling. I looked up at the sky and there I saw many stars and a full moon. Sometime later, I heard footsteps approaching me so I lost my attention there. Symon appeared in front of me looking drunk. It smiled at me while still holding a glass with only wine.

"Do you drink?" He asked me and sat down next to me so I backed away.

“Why are you still here? It’s late.” He added so I just frowned. It looks kind and power shouts at him. Like Sir Anton and that man, I am sure he also came from a wealthy family.

"Uhm… I don't know either, eh," I hesitated to answer him. When I looked at him, there I noticed the pair of eyes focused on me. It was sharp and deep.

"Out of guilt maybe…" I whispered to myself as I looked at Hector who looked deeper at me. I heard him laugh so I turned my gaze to him.

“Apollo is somewhat possessive. Count to ten, he will be here— ”

"What the fuck are you doing, Symon?"

Symon and I were both surprised when we heard that voice. When I looked at who it was, I saw Hector staring sharply at his friend. Next, I heard his laugh before turning to me.

“See? You haven't counted yet, he's here right away,” he teased me before finally standing up and facing Hector.

“Chill, dude. I just asked a question.”

“And what did you say to her? I told you to fuck off.” His voice was full of threats so I was stunned.

I didn't understand the answer of the two of them and stood up. I also feel drowsy. Amari must have been waiting for me for a while. I also can't get why I'm still here. Tss!

"Where are you going?"

I stopped walking and looked at the speaker. I just winced when I saw him again, but his rude look was gone. His eyes were wide and he seemed tired and drowsy. Its ears and neck are also very red. It looks drunk.

"I am going home. You probably don't need anything— ”

“I need you…” He interrupted me. I fell silent and looked at him in amazement. "Huh?"

His jaw clenched again and whispered something. A few moments later, I realized that he had already carried me to the guest room.

"Hector, I need to go home!" I struggled but he tightened his grip on me until we could enter that room.

"I can't sleep here…" I said again and tried to get out of his grasp. I felt his hold on me loosen but he still wouldn't let go of my hand. When I looked up at him, I suddenly softened when I saw his tired eyes. It was staring at me as if I was going to melt.

“Say my name again,” he uttered which made my heart beat faster than ever. "Say my name again, please..."

"I-I need to go home," I firmly said to him, but he refuses to listen to that.

“Say my name again, Solei. I want you to utter my name,” he gently commanded me. I bit my lower lip and avoided looking at him.

I don’t know why every time I look into his eyes, he pulls me. I don't know what's there but every time I look at it, I feel like I'm melting and he immediately makes me obey every order he gives. You're going crazy, Ana.

“Please, Solei…” He softly said in his hoarse voice.

My mouth opened but no voice came out. I made another sigh and looked at him again. His eyes were full of pleading. It was full of pleading.

“H-hector—”

Before I could finish what I was about to say, he quickly covered my lips. I could even feel his tongue in it. The events of that day suddenly entered my mind. That’s why I chose to just walk away without telling him everything. His lips… made me remember the reason why it was so wrong to be claimed by him.