Chapter 48: Chapter 48

She sat upright on the bed gasping for air. Shortage of breath and pain from her bones was the first sign she knew it was coming back. She was breathing but the air just won't go in, like her lungs were surrounded by metal bands. Next comes the rising panic, the dizzy feeling. She rapidly tapped him on the shoulder to wake him up. “Habiba, are you okay?” He whispered, holding her hands. “I can't... I can't breathe....” The exertion brings on more breathlessness, like the air around her was devoid of oxygen. Her ribs heave up and down but no benefit comes. Dizziness. He helped her to get up from the bed but she slumped.

She knew she was going to faint when her bones crumbled with pain and she felt light headed. It felt like her innards were being replaced by some kind of black hole. Then nausea crept from her abdomen to her head and the world went blank. “Habiba? Habiba!? No.... No....noo.... habiba? Are you there? Please stay with me...”

He picked her up and rushed her out of the house to the car. In few moments, they were at the hospital and she was taken to the A & E theatre. He paced around the waiting room as he felt the tension and anxiety building upon him. He couldn't even sit. She was okay few hours ago, he knew she had taken her drugs, eats healthy and did everything that the doctor had told them to do. What was going on now?

He touched his pockets and hissed, he had forgotten his phones. Before the panic could eat him alive, he managed to catch up on subtle breathing exercise to help him relax. Minutes turned to hours and there was no sign of any doctor coming out from the A & E theatre!

He silently prayed for her wellbeing as he tried to regain his normal state. Just as he was regaining his steady heart beat by breathing in through his mouth, he saw one of the doctors coming out and his pulse rate shot up again upon seeing his wife wheeled out of the emergency ward to a private room. “Come with me please.” The doctor spoke. He dragged his heavy legs to the doctor’s office. And nurse came in and dropped a file on the desk before going out.

After he had gone through her record, he dropped it and cleared his throat before gazing at Mahmud whose blood was starting to rise. “You are her husband, right?’ The doctor asked and he nodded, eagerly waiting to hear what the doctor has to say. “Your wife is suffering from a serious SCD and Doctor Wasila was the last doctor that attended to her....”

“Can you please explain to me what is wrong with my wife?” Mahmud cuts him short. He was losing his mind every passing minute. “uhh.... A woman with Sickle Cell Disease is more likely to have problems during pregnancy that it affects her health and the health of the unborn baby. During pregnancy, the disease can be more severe and pain episodes can occur more often. Your wife is at high risk of preterm labor, having a low birth weight baby or other complications. However, with early prenatal care and careful monitoring throughout pregnancy, she can go through, as we hope.” He ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh. The words that came out from him were inaudible amidst the atmosphere, he knew that was going to happen. Oh his poor wife, he wished he could take her pain away. “Can I see her now please?” He asked. The doctor nodded. “Yes but she is still unconscious,” he said. Mahmud stood up and thanked the doctor after he had told him the room number. He slowly opened the door and entered the room. His eyes enthralled on her. He moved closer to the bed and held her hand that didn't have IV Therapy on it.

Oh his poor wife, if there was anything he could do to get rid of the pain forever, he would. He would do it without having any second thought, even if he has to sacrifice everything he owns. But he is strong, he has to be strong, for his wife. Brighten her day with a smile as sincere as he can muster. For her to also stay strong and go pass through this tough stage.

He looked at the clock, it was past five in the morning. He stepped out of the room to go back home and get things he knows they might need. He informed the nurses there before leaving.

He went back home and had his bath before praying subh. He sat on the praying mat and made Dua for his wife and their unborn baby. And after he was done with his azkhar, he picked up his phone and dialled ummah’s number. After few rings, she picked up. “Salamu Alaikum, Ummah, good morning.” He spoke with a gripe of pain. “Wa’alaikumus Salam, Mahmud. How are you and how’s habiba’s health? Hope everything is fine.” She could already sense something was up but she prays her instincts aren't right.

“Alhamdulillah.... she is not feeling well and she has been admitted at doctor Mahdi’s hospital.”

“Subahanallah! May Allah make it easy on her and the baby, I will come check up on her later in the morning, in sha Allah. Please don't worry just pray for her, okay?”

He didn't know he was holding the tears till he spoke with ummah. He ended the call and dropped the phone beside him. He cried as if his heart was being shredded from inside. Emotional pain flowed out of his every pore. His tears was not what she needed but prayers. He got a hold of himself and wiped away the tears. He couldn't even remember when he last cried, maybe when he caught Maryam with his brother on her birthday? He shrugged the thought of her, he already had too much on his plate and Maryam was his least problem now.

He stood up and got ready to go back to the hospital. On his way out he met Rabi’atu, sweeping the living room. She stopped what she was doing and knelt down to greet him. “You should lock the door when I leave. Habiba is at the hospital now and I don't know when we will get discharged.”

Her eyes bulged out while her hand clasps over her mouth. “Don't worry please, your prayers is what she needs. And if there is anything, you should call ummah,” he informed before leaving the house.

It was past 7 in the morning when he went back to the hospital. He entered her room and met Maryam going through her chart. She raised her head and looked at him. She tried to smile at him but he looked away. He looked at his wife that was still unconscious. “I was just here to check up on her and.....’ She trailed off. He still didn't glance her way. She heaved a sigh and sauntered out of the room.

She has believe now her Mahmud is gone forever and she has lost him completely. She picked up her pace to her office before the tears spilled. She hissed and locked the door. She was tired of shedding tears for someone who doesn't even wish to have her in his life anymore. What was even wrong with her? He's married now and he looks happy being with habiba. She's loosing her mind... again. She could feel it unraveling, the threads of every happy memory she could recall, all but a disarray of strings scattered about her head. She restrained herself and settled down on her office chair. By Allah she wished he was her husband but she has ruined everything by herself...

He brought out his phone and dialled on mommy’s number. “Salamu alaikum, good morning mommy,” he greeted. “Wa’alaikumus Salam, Mahmud. How are you? How’s Habiba and her health and also the baby?” She asked, feeling uneasy. She prayed her daughter was okay. “Alhamdulillah, mommy. I... I just need a favour from you please.” He pleaded. He knew habiba would be more than happy to have her mother beside her. “Please, go ahead and speak up. But, I hope everything Is okay.”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, tiredly. “I was wondering if you can fly to Nigeria because habiba is really sick and I know she would be at ease when she sees you. Please mommy, do this favour for me.”

She was silent that it made him think that she wasn't on the phone anymore. She heaved a sigh before speaking. “How is she doing? Can I speak with her?” She said instead. “She has been unconscious for the past three hours now. Please mommy, do me this one favour.”

“I will speak with her father about it and in sha Allah I will board the next flight to Nigeria.” She assured him. “And... I trust you with my daughter, I know you will never let anything to happen to her. So please, take good care of her. May Allah bless you both.”

He thanked her before ending the call.

**

“I have to say but your wife is at a very high risk because she has more severe sickle cell disease HbSS genotype, a history of cerebral vasculopathy, and acute chest syndrome ACS. Indeed, the risk of maternal and fetal complications is higher than in the general population....”

Adrenaline floods his system, it pumped and beats like it was trying to escape. He thought his heart would explode when doctor wasila finished explaining. His heart skipped beats with fear. “You should not lose hope so quick, Capt Mahmud,’ she soothed. He looked at ummah that already had her eyes on him. Doctor Wasila excused herself and left the room.

He stood by her bed and stared at her pale face. It has been more than twenty hours and she was still unconscious. Ummah stood beside him and patted his shoulder. “Sadness is a part of what makes us human. No living soul is unfamiliar with it; even our prophets faced multiple episodes of sadness. And sadness not a sign of weakness in any form. To experience sadness is to be human. Having strong faith and Imaan, does not render a believer to be an exception to the emotion of sadness. All what habiba needs from us is du’a and I believe she will wake up and she will get better.”

He forced a smile but it refused to reach his blood shot eyes. He excused himself and left the room to answer mommy’s call. “Salamu alaikum, Mahmud. how’s she doing? Is she awake? I called to inform you our flight will take off in an hour.”

He hesitated before speaking. He wasn't even sure what he was going to tell her. “Alhamdulillah, but she's still not awake yet. Thank you so so much mommy. We will be waiting for you,” he replied before they ended the call. He walked back into the room same time she was opening her eyes. “Alhamdulillah,” ummah praised, walking to the bed as he also did.

To describe her facial expression would be describing a blank sheet of paper. She stared at him for brief seconds before closing her eyes again. “Habiba, sannu, How are you feeling?” Ummah asked placing her hand on habiba’s head. She smiled and nodded, her eyes still closed.

“Let me call the doctor,” he informed and left the room. He came back together with Doctor Wasila.

“Masha Allah, habiba. How are you feeling? Any pains?” The doctor asked. She nodded slowly. “My head hurts and my ribs,” someone three feet away wouldn't even hear what she said, she was so weak. She did a check up on habiba and gave her some injections before she started taking oral medications.

“What would you like to eat? Would you like some tea or kunu?” Ummah asked the moment doctor wasila left the room. Habiba shook her head and smiled. “I'm not hungry yet,” she spoke gently. “No my dear, you have to take at least tea,” she said heading towards the basket to make the tea. He moved closer to her and held her hand. “How are you feeling? Do you still feel pain?” He whispered. “I'm between life and death,” she stated and chuckled a bit. His heart skipped beats by her words. He held her hand firmly and shook his head, “you will not die now In sha Allah. We have a future to build together right? So don't ever say that again.” She smiled weakly and looked away. If only he knew how much in pain she was going through, he wouldn't have hope on her surviving.