Chapter 33: Chapter 33

A month past by and Maryam was back to work. On her way to her office, the nurses walking by and doctors, welcomed her back even though they didn't know why she stopped coming to work. She stepped into her office that was already cleaned up because she called her personal assistant, Amanda to get everything set before she arrived.

She picked up her intercom to call Amanda. "Yes, bring in the files." She cut the call. Few minutes later, Amanda came in with pile of files. "Wow, wow! What's all this? What's with the pile files?" Maryam asked irked. Amanda opened her mouth to talk but she doesn't have anything to say. "I... it's just that most of the patients prefer you to see them....." she swallowed hard fixing her glasses. Maryam glared at her, making her to go mute.

"I will take some of the files to doctor Imam," she smiled nervously and took more than half of the files. "Do we have any to patients admitted from yesterday?" Maryam spoke going through the first patient's files. "Yes Doc, we do. Safiya Ali Ahmad and uhh Fadila Muhammad Alkaleri."

Maryam paused and looked at Amanda. "Fadila Muhammad Alkaleri? Are you sure?" She questioned. "Yes Doc," she retorted respectively. Maryam composed herself and nodded. "Send in the first patient," she commanded. Amanda answered and bowed before walking out.

After she was done with all her patients, she moved to the ward to check up on the patients admitted there. "Ummah," she called out smiling. Ummah looked at Maryam and also smiled. "Maryam."

"Ummah Good Afternoon. Why didn't you tell me Fadila wasn't feeling well? I would've come in since morning to check up on her," she spoke with a smile on her face. She gave Ummah a side hug before settling down on the soft couch beside her. Ummah chuckled and shook her head. "I know I should have called you but I am sorry about that. I even asked one of the doctors but they told me you have not been around for almost two months now."

Maryam gave her another smile and nodded. "Yes, I took a long break. How is Fadila? What is wrong with her?" She asked averting her gaze from Ummah to Fadila who was sleeping. She looked stressed out and pale. "Uhh, she has a high fever and she got asthma attack but the doctors said she would be fine In sha Allah."

"Masha Allah. May Allah grant her quick recovery." Ummah smiled and thanked her. She stood up to check Fadila's chart. She smiled to see she was doing great. "She will be fine in sha Allah," she spoke still looking at the chart. Ummah thanked her once more. "Ummah, I'm done for today," she said putting back the chart. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me. I will come tomorrow morning and check up on her," she said before saying goodbye to Ummah.

Ummah stared at the door Maryam followed and sighed heavily. She wished Mahmud hadn't given up on Maryam because she was the perfect girl for him. She's so caring and loving to him. She had never seen Mahmud so happy after his mother's death till he started getting close to Maryam. But whatever the case is, she prayed for the best for the both for them.

••

Maryam parked her car in the parking lot and stepped out. She was about to head upstairs when she heard her father's voice in the living room. She dropped her bag there and ran to the living room. "Daddy!! You're back," she squealed and enfolded him in a warm embrace. He chuckled, hugging her back. "Yes my love, I am. I came back few hours ago. How was work today?" She sat beside him, beaming nonstop. "Daddy work was great Alhamdulillah. I've missed you so, so much. You've been away for so so long. We're going to spend time together today," she stated and hugged him again.

"Iyyeh? Look at this girl trying to take my husband's attention away," mommy scolded. Maryam furrowed her brows and pouted. "You can have him tomorrow but today, we're going to spend time together, right?" She spoke batting her lashes at him. He laughed a bit and shook his head. "How about we spend time together? The three of us?" He suggested. Mommy sighed and shook her head. She looked disturbed and down casted. Maryam watched her as she left the living room.

"Is mommy okay?" She asked worriedly. He smiled and looked away. His eyes fixed on the TV. "Daddy?" She spoke softly. He sighed, "my dear, go get some rest and we will talk about something later." She knew whatever it is, it's between them. She slowly nodded and stood up. She went up to her room and took a long shower before praying Zuhr. She laid down on her bed to take a nap but it kept wondering off to the person she leasts want to remember.

She could feel the tears trying to spill out but she embraced herself and gave herself a pep talk. Her emotions were not easily hidden on her innocent face. Her pain was evident in the crease of her lovely brow and the down-curve of her full lips. But her eyes, her eyes showed her soul. They were a deep pool of restless gold, an ocean of hopeless grief. She for once thought "Love hurts," but it's the biggest lie out there. Love heals, love makes people whole again and love fills them with the goodness they need to be as kind and loving as their Creator intended. What hurts is betrayal, thoughtlessness, uncaring attitudes and careless gossip. What hurts is people being unfriendly, not welcoming a new person to neighbourhood or making "exclusive" cliques that are defined by who is "not welcome." What hurts is bullying, harassment, selfishness and greed. What hurts is trusting you partner to stay with you but ends up betraying you and leaving you.

Love on the other hand is the greatest gift mankind ever received, a gift that lives on within us all. Love is a gift that needs nurturing - it is the truth within us that knows life cannot be given a price tag. Love knows to be kind and never to hurt or kill. Love knows to treat your neighbour as yourself. Love is what we crave from birth, a craving that must be met by our new and loving earth-bound family. Love knows that a life is worth more than a pair or new shoes or designer makeup.

She sighed and turned over to the other side of the bed. She rolled out of her bed when her heart wasn't at ease with the way she saw mommy. She went to her mother's bedroom and met her going through her phone. She sat beside her mother and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. "Mommy what's wrong with you?"

"Whenever you call me mommy I feel like you're still a baby," she joked and Maryam pouted. "But I am your baby," she cooed. Mommy chuckled and nodded. "Now, Hajiya ta, please what is wrong? You seem disturbed."

Mommy smiled sadly and shook her head. "It's nothing Maryam, don't worry." Maryam sighed and pulled her arm away from her mother's shoulder. Mommy looked at Maryam's disappointed face. "I told you, there's nothing, okay? Don't worry. Whatever it is your father will tell you later."

She looked at mommy with an abashing look. She open her mouth to speak but her mother stopped her. "Maryam! I don't want to hear any silly question again. Get up and go pray, it's time to pray." Maryam sighed heavily and stood up.

••

She was about to step into the kitchen to help her mother with dinner when she overheard her parents arguing about something. She turned to leave when she heard something that caught her attention. "Doctor, this is not a good idea. I don't think Maryam would agree, please don't do this." Mommy tried to reason with him. He chuckled softly, "agree? Who said I am looking for her approval to go ahead with what I've planned to do? What rubbish are you saying Maman Maryam? Just forget about it..... in fact, I don't need you to tell her, I will tell her myself."

Maryam quickly left the place and went back to her room wondering what they're talking about. Is her father marrying her off? If not that what were they arguing about? Her heartbeat echoed in her ears as many thoughts rushed through her mind. Or is he going to seize her license like he once said he will? She took deep breaths and settled down on her ottoman. She covered her face with her palms trying to make her heart stop racing fast. She kept taking deep breaths till she was back to normal.

A little while later, she prayed Isha and stepped out of the room to the kitchen. No one was there, everywhere was clean and tidy. She moved to the living room same time daddy was coming back from the mosque. "Welcome back daddy," she spoke gently, fiddling with her fingers. She was uneasy and uncomfortable. "I was about to call you now," he said placing a hand on her shoulder. She smiled, her head low.

"Go call your mother let's have dinner together," he instructed and she nodded before doing as she was told. Mommy was still on her prayer mat, making Du'a when Maryam sauntered in. She waited patiently till she was done before she told her daddy's message. She was about to get up and leave when mommy stopped her. "Sit let's talk about something." She looked into mommy's eyes and swallowed hard. Something was definitely wrong. Something was about to happen!

She sat back on the sofa, close to where mommy was sitting on the prayer mat. "You know your father and I will never choose something bad for you right?" Mommy spoke and Maryam slowly nodded. She was afraid her mother would hear how her heart was wildly beating. "We both want what's best for you, my love," she cooed, holding Maryam's hands with a satisfying smile that never reached her heart.

"Do you have anyone? Like anyone that has shown interest in you?" Maryam quick shook her head. "I..... no mommy, if there was I would've told you. Is something wrong mommy? You have been gloomy today. What's wrong? Is daddy marrying me off?" She bombarded her with questions. Mommy chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Calm down Maryam. Let's go eat dinner and wipe those tears because I don't want your father to think I did something to you."

Maryam wiped the tears and sluggishly rose up. She went back down to the dinning area with mommy tailing behind. Daddy raised his eyes from his phone and looked at them. Maryam looked at her mother before looking away and sat down opposite her father. "What took you guys so long? I'm very hungry," he said keeping the phone aside.

"Sorry daddy, I was helping mommy with something. Let me serve you please," she apologized standing up. She served them all before they started eating. Maryam didn't have any appetite because she was eager to find out what is happening. It's either her father is marrying her off or he wants her to introduce someone as the person she loves. Are they already tired of her? She's just twenty five. Why would they do that? She heaved a sigh and dropped her spoon without even knowing what she was doing.

She is even lucky that her parents didn't force her to get married when she did not wish to. All her female cousins got married after graduating from secondary school. Lucky few gets to start university before getting married but here she is already a graduate and had done her masters but still no sign of her spouse showing up.

"Maryam!" Daddy snapped. She briskly looked at him. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The more he thought about it the more he pitied his daughter. He loves her so much, but it's time. It’s time he did the right thing. "Is something wrong with you, my dear? You have barely eaten anything," he spoke grabbing her hand acrossed the table. He had a soft smile on his face. She smiled back and shook her head. "No daddy, I was just thinking about something at the hospital but it's okay. I'm fine," she said gently freeing her hand and continued to eat.

After they were done eating, she stood up to clear the table but he stopped her. He looked at his wife, "call the maids to clear the table." Mommy stood up like she was forced and did as he told her. Maryam was on the verge of tears because she hated it whenever her mother was unhappy.

"Meet me in my living room now, Maryam," he spoke and left the dinning room. Maryam? He just called her Maryam? In a serious tone! Something is definitely wrong. She wanted to wait for her mother but he came back again and repeated what he said. She sighed and dragged her feet to the living room. She sat close to him on the floor and listened to what he had to say.

He cleared his throat and looked down at her. "How old are you?" He asked all of a sudden. She looked up to see if he was serious. He nodded and she lowered her head. "I'm 25," she muttered fiddling with her fingers. "Good, and at what age did all your cousins get married?" He questioned. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew it was definitely about marriage. "18-20 years."

"Good, and why are you not married?" He asked. "I.... you.... because it's not my time yet?" It came out more like a question. Maryam kept glancing at the door to see if mommy would show up but she never did. "Masha Allah, I am glad you understand. You know some fulanis marry their daughter's off at the age of 16,17,18 or 19 but I don't believe in that kind of tradition. I don’t believe in marrying my daughter off against her will. I don't believe in forced marriage or arranged marriage but now..... you see, for years I have been waiting for the day your mother would come to me to announce you have finally gotten a spouse but it never happened. I actually thought that boy Mahmud was interested in you but all of a sudden I stopped seeing him...." he paused when Maryam started tearing up.

"No, I did not ask you to come here and start crying like I said something wrong, or did I?" He asked. She shook her head and wiped the tears. "What month are we in now?" He queried. "March," she murmured, sniffing. "Great. I will give you the end of this year to bring me the man you choose or you choose from one of your cousins or one of my friends son! Understood?"

"Daddy but I...." he cuts her off with a glare. "Understood?" He spoke sternly. She nodded slowly. "Speak up! Do you understand what I just said! You should be glad that I gave you that much time! And by Allah if you don't bring anyone by that time do not blame me if I marry you off to whom ever I wish to."

Her small sobs broke his heart but he had to do what is right. And what is more best for his daughter. Being in her husband's house Is the best and the right thing to do. He had no choice. His family has been bugging him about her. If not because his mother only loves what he wants, Maryam would've been in her husband's house years ago.

"Yes daddy, I've heard you and I will obey exactly what you tell me, in sha Allah." She spoke with a heart broken tone. He smiled and nodded. "You can leave now. May Allah bless you and choose what's best for you."

"Ameen," she smiled and stood up. She barged into her mother's room, sobbing uncontrollably. Mommy sighed knowing that would happen. She sat beside her mother and laid her head on her laps. Mommy stroke her head asking what he told her. Maryam sat upright and looked at her mother. "Mommy, are guys tired of me? Are you already tired of waiting for me? Or have I done something wrong? Why is....."

"Maryam," mommy cuts her off with a warning tone. "How can we get tired of you when we gave birth to you and you're our only child? We love you more than anyone would ever do so,” mommy reminded her. "But why is he trying to marry me off?" Maryam retorted. "Because you're not getting any younger. And he is not trying to marry you off! You clearly heard exactly what he told you! You have nine good months to introduce someone and I don't see anything bad there."

"But mommy, I..... what if..... I choose the wrong person? That's what is freaking me out!" She spoke panicky. "That is why your father gave you that much time, to get to know each other," she answered. "But mommy what if he hides who he truly is till after we get married or..."

"Maryam! Stop thinking negatively. That's very bad! You shouldn't be saying this as an adult for crying out loud. Whatever comes your way, good or bad pray for the best. And I perfectly understand that you're afraid which is totally okay. You think I will do anything that will hurt you or affect your career?" Maryam slowly shook her head. "Will your father ever do something that will hurt you?" Mommy asked and She shook her head again.

"Maryam what happened to you? You have completely changed. You used to so strong and handle responsibilities the right way. Why are you acting this way now? We always talk about patience and taking your Qadr the way it is and pray for the best. Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example."

"Yes mommy I understand, and I'm sorry but it's just the idea of getting married really..... is awkward....." she trailed off and sighed. "Listen to me. Marriage....... is beautiful. My most brilliant achievement in life was marrying your father. Don't you see how happy we are together? Don't you see how we live in peace and harmony? We love each other so much even after 28 years of marriage. I'm not saying you will always be happy, no. Okay listen, When your father and I got married 28 years ago, we were young and in love, but we were also pretty clueless (me especially)! Along the way, we've had so many people share wise advice and life experiences with us, which has helped guide our family through good times and hard times. Through the years, I've been collecting some of the best marriage advice others have shared with us (and some I had to learn through my own mistakes)."

Maryam was paying attention to her mother's advice. It always motivated her and helped her. She was so lucky to have her as a mother.

"Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling. Surround yourself with people who will strengthen your marriage. Remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character. Share moments of joy. And even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh. In every argument, remember that there won't be a winner and a loser. You're partners in everything so you'll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution. Learn from other people, but don't feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else's. Allah's plan for your life is masterfully unique. Never keep secrets from each other. This is some of the best marriage advice I can give you. Because secrecy is the enemy of intimacy. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust, and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage. When you've made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. Do not, I mean never allow your ego and pride get in the way, it's one of the things that breaks homes. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule. Be your spouse's biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with Allah in the middle of it. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other."

"You can never be happy all the time and you can never be sad all the time. So you see, the idea of getting married is not bad at all. Or don't you want to complete half of your deen?" Mommy spoke teasingly. Maryam chuckled and shook her head. "I do, I really do. You won, you've convinced me and in sha Allah I will try my best to choose the right person. Just pray for me mommy," she spoke and snuggled in, "You're the only person I know that gives indefinite hugs."

Her mother snickered, "Well, love, where else would I rather be?" In that moment the arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Maryam breathed more slowly, her body melting into her mom's as every muscle lost its tension to the spring air. This was life, real life.

"I will always pray for you my love. In sha Allah all will be well with you."