Chapter 27: Chapter 27

She looked at her self in the mirror and adjusted her labcoat before taking her handbag, phone and car keys. The moment she stepped out of the room, she met mommy all dressed up and ready to go out. Mommy gave her a confused look. "Maryam? Where are you going to? Aren't you going to Aydah's place?"

"Aydah's place? I have to go to work mommy. By the way, you look beautiful. Or is daddy coming back from Canada today?" She said wiggling her brows. Mommy scolded and laughed.

"I thought you're going to the wedding. Oh well what ever the case, immediately you're done with work, I want to see you at their house." Mommy instructed walking down the stairs while Maryam followed her wondering what she was talking about.

"Mommy what are you talking about?" She said tailing behind. They walked outside to the parking space. The driver greeted them both and opened the back door for mommy. "Maryam banasan maganar banza. It's your brother's wedding of course. Stop acting like Aydah didn't tell you about the wedding." Mommy entered the car and he closed the door before he entered and they drove out of the house, leaving Maryam there standing like a statue and dumbfounded. Whose wedding is she talking about?

She entered her own car and searched for her phone in her bag. She tapped on Aydah's number but she didn't pick up. "Who is getting married oh God!" She spoke frustrated. Her heart beating fast against her rib cage. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. It's not her Mujahid. But if it's not him, that means, it's Mahmud. He's getting married? Why would he do that without telling her? He doesn't have to invite her but at least he should inform her. She looked at her car keys, she remembered when he gave her his house spare key just Incase something came up. She beamed at the good moments she had with Mahmud. He trusted her with his life. But she ruined their beautiful friendship....

First, her nose grew very red at the tip; then, her small mouth screwed itself around by her left ear; gradually, her round face wrinkled till it resembled a withered crabapple; and finally, if one listened intently and watched closely, one could hear small sniffs and see two infinitesimal drops of water issue from the nearly closed and wrinkled eyes. She had wrecked a beautiful friendship she once thought it was never breakable.

She started the car sighing. She wiped her tears with a tissue before driving out of the house and went to the clinic.

She went straight to her ward and checked on her patients before going to her office. She took coffee and started her work.

Aydah on the other hand has been avoiding Maryam because of her brother Mujahid. He strictly warned her not to tell maryam about the wedding. She didn't know why because she thought they aren't together anymore. She sighed and dropped her phone on her dressing mirror before getting ready for the day.

At exactly 1:30pm Mujahid Muhammad Alkaleri got married to his beloved Nadia Abdulrahim. Mujahid smiled nonstop at the people congratulating him. He smiled till his cheeks started hurting. He moved away from the crowd to call his wife but unfortunately her friend picked up.

"Salamu Alaikum Ango.... Uhh sorry but your wife has been crying nonstop since morning," she said with a sigh. Nadia curled herself up in a ball and closed her eyes tighter. "What happened? Why is she cry? Can I come see her now?" He asked worriedly.

"Oh yes you can and Don't worry, Nadia is a very emotional person. I promise you, before you come over she'll get ready." He heaved a sigh of relief and thanked her. The moment she cut the call she looked at Nadia.

Before she could utter a word, aunty Samira came in with a plate of food. "Nadia before I beat the living day light out of you, sit up right now and eat. What nonsense? If you knew you weren't ready to leave your family why did you bug everyone about him?" Aunty Samira bawled at her.

Nadia's eyes were burning and her chest felt heavy as if it was filled with lead. She could no longer see clearly due to the tears she has been shedding nonstop. All she knew was that she was gone, out of her life for possibly forever. Now she has to leave her mother's side and start leaving with a total stranger, same house, same room, same bed. With a throbbing headache, she sat upright holding her head. She grimaced in pain when the headache kicked in more.

"You better stop those tears and eat this food!" She warned handing her the plate. Her friends looked at her in pity. Nadia never knew she'd cry that much. She never knew she'd miss her family till that very day. She took a half spoon of fried rice to her mouth. Aunty Samira hissed and headed out.

"Let me get you something to drink," her friend hanan told her before leaving the room. She took few more spoons and kept the plate. Aunty Samira came back a little bit later with another dress she is to where because her groom was on his way. She sighed and stood up. She walked sluggishly to her bathroom and washed her face.

She wore the white beautiful mermaid gown that brought out her curves and beauty. Her friend hanan, which is also her makeup artist glammed up her face and tied her head tie for her. Hanan wrapped the white veil around Nadia's shoulder, smiling. She was relieved to see Nadia smiling for the first time that day.

The house buzzed with excited chatter of the women and children ran around the house in a good natured game of tag. Then nadia stepped out of her room to her mother's room. Some showered her with prayers, some complemented her look, while some yodeled. Mammy couldn't help but smile and prayed for her daughter.

Hanan soon came in and informed her Mujahid and his friends have arrived and they're waiting at the living room. Nadia swallowed hard and started walking out of her mother's room to the living room downstairs. She held her hanan’s hand tightly while they walked to the living room.

They entered the living room. He turned his face to her way. He held his breath for few seconds, thanking Allah for such beautiful gift. Their eyes locked and his emotions told him he needs more connection, or that she does. His eyes were so different in that moment, more soft than she knew eyes could be. If it were anyone else, she would have dropped her gaze, but with him, she's drawn in closer, always wanting more. Then he walked to her and held her soft hands. He says the words she needed to hear, "Alhamdulillah baby, it's official, we're married now." She blushed and nodded.

Mujahid wrapped her in a warm swaddle of his chest and arms. She didn't want to leave. It felt as if when she was in his arms all her pain went away - mental and physical, mostly the depressing pain. If  she could only stay in his arms forever, safe from the world's harmful people. One could only hope. He pulled away and kissed her softly on the forehead. Their friends cheered and cooed but the played deaf ears to them, especially Mujahid.

"I love you," he whispered to her, embracing her in his strong arms. She snuggled up to him more, smiling. Her dream had finally come true, she had finally married the love of her life.

After their lovey dovey scene, they took lots of pictures together and also with their friends and family.

After the photo session, Mujahid and his friends left Nadia's house. His friends went to his house to eat and rest while he went home. He planned to break the egg to Maryam even if she found out about it already. The moment he stepped into the house, the women sitting in the living room congratulated him while some yodeled. He couldn't stop himself from smiling and thanking them.

Maryam on the other hand, she packed her things and left the clinic. She couldn't take it anymore. Aydah wasn't picking any of her calls and she needed to know what was going on. She tapped on mujahid's number and without hesitating, he picked the call. She heaved a sigh of relief when she heard his voice. "Maryam? How are you my love?" He said walking out of the crowd to the garden. No one was there. He settled down under the gazebo and continued talking. "I'm fine Yaya Mujahid. What's going on at your house? Who's getting married?" She asked with her voice cracking.

He chuckled softly and replied, "where are you now?" He asked. "I'm on my way to your family house now," she replied. "Okay I'll be waiting for you at the garden," he said and ended the call.

She dropped her phone and focused on driving. The house was full with friends and family and well wishers. Her heart beat increased as she walked into the house. She met her mother and Ummah in the living room with some of her relatives. "Maryam, you're finally here. I've been asking about you and your mother said you went to work."

She forced a smile and nodded before greeting them all. She asked of aydah and Ummah told her. She rushed to her room and entered. She met her with some of her friends, cousins and also Fadila. Fadila glared at her and hissed. "What brought this one here again please?" Fadila started yelling but Aydah sent her out of the room.

"Maryam, let's step out a bit," she said and pulled Maryam's hand. She took her to baba's study and locked the door. "What's going on Aydah? Why have you been avoiding me for the past two months? You don't pick my calls......"

"Uhh.... yes Maryam I'm deeply sorry for that. I have no reason to do that..."

"Whose wedding is this?" She cuts in. "I thought mommy informed you months ago? It's Yaya Mujahid's wedding." She dropped the bombshell.

“Months ago? Yaya Mujahid?” Shortage of breath was the first sign. She's breathing but the air just won't go in, like her lungs were surrounded by metal bands. Next comes the rising panic, the dizzy feeling and the need to get low to the ground. "Maryam? Are you okay?" She asked holding her hand.

Maryam snatched her hand away and left the room. She walked down the stairs and left the house to the garden. He was still there, using his phone. When he heard footsteps, he knew it was show time. He raised his head and looked at her with no doubts, he knew she had found out.

"What am I just hearing from Aydah?" Pairs of tears raced down her cheeks. He stood up and walked over to her. His hands in his white kaftaan pockets. "What you heard. Yeah, I just got married to the woman I actually love," he spoke nonchalantly. Maryam stared at him as tears blurred her vision.

"Yaya I don't understand what you mean. Are you leaving me or what?" Red, tear-rimmed eyes stared back at him, with watery streaks falling down her already red face. She furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks which were now blotchy and mottled. Her whole face was now washed with a dull red, including the very end of her nose.

"Look Maryam, don't waste my time here. I was never in love with you. I took my revenge on what you did with my brother back when he was at the hospital and went you stupidly followed him out of the country. Only God knows what you brats did together....."

"I swear nothing has ever happened between me and Mahmud.... please yaya Mujahid don't do this to me. Don't break my heart. I really love you....."

"Listen to this; you really thought I'd kill myself over you? You gave me your whole body which showed how much of a whore you are. Yes, I said I loved you and you thought that was true. Well guess what? You just got played...." he walked away without giving her a second glance.

She felt as if her lungs were slowly filling with water, as if there was just less space in them for the air. Inflating them felt like pushing up a lead weight on her chest. She sucked in the air as if it were treacle, yet she was standing in a rose garden on a sunny Saturday. Her shoulders shaking with grief, tears were streaming down her already wet cheeks. She knelt down on the grass and closed her mouth to avoid screaming.

As Maryam cried, her bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. Her eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant, yet allowing the tears to flow without pause. In that moment, she understood the depth of pain she had never felt before in her entire life.

It is a cruelty of life that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It can feel as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest, but still the boom-boom continues. The heartache was like a red hot coal placed in her chest, it glowed and burnt her at the same time, but it did not cool quickly like a coal in water, it throbbed and tortured her.

She embraced herself and wiped her tears away. She took her bag from the grass and walked briskly to her car and left the house. She didn't stop anywhere but Mahmud's place. She wished she’d just see him there.

The gate man was astonished to see her but didn't have the right to question her. He opened the gate and welcomed her but she didn't even glance at his way. She used her spare key and opened the house. It was neat but a bit dusty.

There was a scream from deep within her that forces its way from her mouth, it is as if her terrified soul has unleashed a demon. All she felt was anger, all she felt was that she doesn't want to be with anyone at all because then she doesn't have to trust anyone, it'll be safer, easier to choose not to stay. And she knows she's hiding a truth from myself, of how much this is really to do with sadness and the scars that just won't heal. Yet these fists clench and her teeth lock up once the sound is out.

A week ago, she wouldn't have been able to understand why someone would want to cry. But now, alone in the darkness, it's easy. It could be quick relief or a painstakingly long process of confusion, denial, embarrassment and anger. Either way, in the end, she would feel better after crying.

She sat in the middle of the living room and looked at Mahmud's picture in uniform. She wished he was the one she loved instead but she betrayed his love and chose a stranger over him and now karma came back biting her behind.

His tongue was the sweetest; every word uttered by him would always left her weakened and more deeper in love than before. These were the memories she cherished most. There were times when she would look into his bright eyes, down with blue wondering if he meant it when he said "I Love You." She continued to tell herself that Mahmud wasn't the one she wanted and he wasn't the one for her till he left.

He did. Now are the times she's living with regrets; now are the times she is gloomy, yet somehow there is hope within her that he'll come back......