Chapter 40: Chapter 40

I looked through the car window at the chubby clouds drifting aimlessly across the sky. Around a small sense of admiration, I allowed my thoughts to expand.

The look Samantha gave me before my departure still bothered me. I understand her position in saying that I was putting obstacles where I shouldn't have, because I admit, I often avoided Joshua, just so I wouldn't have to face him for real, but that's because, to me, Joshua could easily be a synonym for confusion. Not because he causes arguments, intrigues, or the various things that can destroy relationships between friends, lovers, and so on, but because he inexplicably manages to be the perfect blend of good feelings and hesitations.

I left conflicted. On one hand, a small fury commanded part of my body, on the other, the uninterrupted affirmation that I shouldn't be angry with Samantha. Because, despite saying words that I didn't want to hear, she tried to do a good deed, even if it had been unexpected, but as she herself had said, many people would love to see me away from Joshua, and she did exactly the opposite.

I sigh. And she was right, no one but me could resolve my concerns about Joshua, even if he told me hundreds of times that he was in love with me. But whenever I thought about it, Madelyn's figure automatically appeared in my head. It was as if I were allowing her to interfere with my feelings and decisions, when in reality, I should be the only one honestly controlling my feelings. And because of that, I urgently needed to erase her from my mind, like a supposed threat, and I felt that the only person who could truly help me was Betty. She could help me come to a definitive solution.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the car's upholstery, letting my mind empty. There were still a few hours until we reached London, so I didn't want to fill my head with thoughts, because I knew many others would come, including adverse ones.

***

After hours of travel, we were finally back in London. Since my main goal of returning earlier than planned was because of Betty, Joshua went straight to his apartment, where his family was already installed.

We got out of the car and went inside the building. Joshua opened the door to his apartment and we were met with his family gathered in the living room.

"Joshua!" Mr. Scott said cheerfully, coming up to his son and hugging him tightly. "How I missed you!" He looked at me. "Alice!" From Joshua, Mr. Scott turned to me, hugging me tightly. "So good to see you! Who are these lovely little girls?" he asked, noticing Agatha and Alex behind me, embarrassed.

"They're my sisters, Mr. Scott."

"What are their names?" He stepped away from me.

"The little one is Agatha. And the older one is Alex."

"They look a lot like you," he commented on the resemblance between the color of our hair and eyes.

"Alice?"

I heard a slightly distant voice, but one that I recognized clearly.

"Betty?" I sidestepped, seeing the pompous Asian woman walking closer.

Without hesitation, I ran towards Betty, hugging her tightly. She had no idea how much I had missed her.

"I missed you so much!"

"Don't even tell me, girl. It's so good to see you again!" She tightened our hug. "How are you? Have you been eating properly? Have you been careful, huh?" She pulled her face away to look at me.

Betty had no idea what had happened during all this time we were apart.

"I have so many things to tell you, Betty. That... You won't even believe it."

"Hm..." Betty narrowed her eyes. "What have you been up to, huh?"

"I promise I'll tell you everything later." I opened a joyful smile upon seeing her, and she returned the smile.

"It's so good to see all of us together again," Mr. Scott said, exuding happiness. "And today we have one more professional among us. My little, not-so-little anymore, Susanna." Mr. Scott proudly spoke of his middle daughter, who had just graduated from medical school.

"I never doubted you," Joshua said playfully and walked over to hug her. Susanna stood up from the couch and hugged Joshua back.

"I hope you don't cause any of your mischief, Joshua. I don't want to have to take care of you," she said sarcastically.

"Do you really think that with a doctor in the family, I won't make a point of giving her some work?" he retorted playfully.

"Why do the men in this family always think that?" the younger sister, Anna, said ironically. "Joey said the same thing," she snitched on the brother sitting next to her.

"Because it's cool!" Joey retorted.

"It has nothing to do with being cool!"

"Of course it does!"

"Susanna is just a doctor! If you die, she won't be able to resurrect you!"

The identical twins fought each other, making us laugh.

"And you, Alice?" Mrs. Scott directed her attention and that of others to me. "How is working in London? Are you enjoying it? Is my son being a good boss?" She glanced briefly at Joshua, as if she were reading him inside out.

"About that..." Joshua spoke up, as if he were about to make a confession. I quickly remembered that he had planned to tell his family about us. But I wasn't sure if it was a good time to talk about it. We hadn't resolved our issues yet, so what could he say? I dated Alice until three days ago, but at the moment, our relationship is unstable?

I looked at him as if I begged him not to tell about us yet. I also didn't imagine what his family's reaction could be.

Joshua looked at me, a little uncertain, but proceeded with what he wanted to say.

"I have to say that I'm impressed with Alice's practicality. You were really right when you recommended her to me."

Thank you!

Joshua's gaze briefly glanced over mine, as if disapproving of my act.

"And... I just have to thank you, Mr. Scott," I referred to Joshua and forced a grateful smile, trying to hide everything that had happened between us. "And yes, Mrs. Scott, I'm really enjoying working in London." I aimed in her direction. "And I'll be forever grateful for being recommended to work for Joshua."

"I'm very happy to hear that, dear." She opened a satisfied smile.

"And have you found the man of your dreams, Alice?" Anna suddenly threw, leaving me embarrassed.

"Don't be nosy, Anna!" Mrs. Scott scolded.

"Wait, guys? Alice always used to tell me and Susanna that she was hoping to find the man of her dreams. What's wrong with that?" She furrowed her brow. "I love a good romance.

I remember when I used to talk to the girls about our love lives. But I didn't expect Anna to bring it up again, and especially not in front of everyone.

I move my lips, not knowing what to say, and I feel my heart racing. Joshua was right there, and I stopped him from talking about us. A deafening silence fell over the room, waiting for a response from me.

"Well, it's just that..." I moisten my lips, still not sure what to say.

"I think this is something very personal about Alice's life for her to expose to all of us," Joshua interjects. "So, I think it's best to leave her alone."

"Thanks! Again."

"Well... I'm going to help Mrs. Taylor in the kitchen. I think she could use some help," Betty speaks up. I see that Betty had already met her.

"I-I'll come too."

I announce and follow Betty into the kitchen, trying to calm my impulsive heart.

"Alice! Haven't seen you in a while," Mrs. Taylor comments as soon as she sees me. "How's it going in the new apartment?"

I still wasn't used to Mrs. Taylor being kind to me. But as Joshua had told me, Emeraude had managed to deceive her own aunt, so that could explain why Mrs. Taylor had treated me so poorly at the beginning.

"Great. My sisters are spending some time with me."

"Really? That's great! So you don't feel so alone. Since Joshua can't spend as much time there."

"Does Joshua usually go to your apartment?" Betty looks at me with raised eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

"Why wouldn't he?" Mrs. Taylor looks at her confused.

"And would there be a reason for him to go?"

"Of course, they're dating," Mrs. Taylor confirms.

Betty quickly looks at me, her eyes seeming like they were about to pop out at any moment.

"Are you guys dating?!"

"What? No! I mean..."

"You're not dating anymore?" Mrs. Taylor asked confused.

"No!"

"So you are dating him," Betty confirms.

"I said I would explain everything to you!"

"How long has this been going on?"

"A while after I arrived in London."

"And you didn't tell me anything?" Betty says incredulously.

"I was going to tell you! But... I was waiting for the right moment."

"That's why you didn't know what to say in the living room, right? You didn't want to talk about him."

"I didn't think it was the right time to talk about it. That's why... I really need your advice, Betty."

Betty moistens her lips and shakes her head, still incredulous.

"I want you to tell me every detail, got it?"

I nod my head in agreement.

***

After dinner, I followed Betty to her guest room, and there, I told her everything that happened since I arrived in London. I told her about the dream I had with Joshua and what happened today with Samantha.

"You understand the situation, don't you? And because of that, I really need your super-disciplined advice."

I plead for Betty's help.

"Look...," she takes a deep breath. "I want your happiness. But... What will really make you happy, Alice? Do you think Joshua will really make you happy?"

I sigh.

"When I'm with him, it's like... All my problems disappear. It's like I'm in the calmest part of the ocean. But... At the same time, when I start to question if he's really the right guy for me... My world crumbles."

"So, Joshua is the cause of your calmness, but also, of your nervousness."

"I don't know. When the real Madelyn hadn't appeared yet, I was more certain of what I wanted. But now... I'm feeling the same fears as in the beginning."

"That's because you see her as a threat. And I understand why. In all these years, she really was the woman Joshua loved the most. And any woman he got involved with now, and knew that an old love returned to his life, would be apprehensive. But you have to understand that in life, there are many kinds of love. And some tend to be more intense than others, but it doesn't mean he loves you less. You might be the most important thing to him now."

"I feel so lost..." I fall back onto the bed. "I'm completely in love with him. But... Because I'm so hesitant... I get lost in what I feel."

"Knowing Joshua as I do... He wouldn't give you the option to think if you still want something with him. Not if he didn't feel anything for you. Because, think about it... He had the chance to break up with you to be with Madelyn. But he didn't, which makes it clear that he really feels something for you. So... Being as harsh as your friend was, but giving you a solution like your friend Gregory did, I think it's time for you to stop putting so many obstacles. Besides, so what if you suffer a disappointment? Let him who has never gone through that throw the first stone. " She arches one eyebrow. "Girl, you must give yourself body and soul to what you feel. And if the person doesn't value it, the problem is theirs, they'll be the ones losing out. And lucky is the one who knows how to value someone's feelings. So, stop lamenting! Forget about what his family will think, what his past meant, just go for it! If he chose you, it's because you have everything to be the girl of his life!"

I sit back on the bed and stare at her.

"You know I love you, right?" And without warning, I hug her. "That's all I wanted to hear, especially from you."

"I know, I know. But you don't have to be so mushy!" She jokes.

I let go of our embrace.

"Thank you, really. Now, I think it's time to take control and do what needs to be done." I stand up from the bed.

"What are you going to do?"

"It's time to be honest with Joshua. And get back together." I smile at her and leave the room, going down the stairs and looking around, searching for Joshua. In the living room were my sisters and Joshua's two younger brothers. Alex seemed to have taken an interest in Joey, as she seemed excited talking to him, and even though her English wasn't fluent, it was enough to communicate a little. Both were only a small age difference, ranging between two or three years, so it explained why they seemed interested in each other.

I didn't see Mr. and Mrs. Scott or Susanna around, maybe they had gone to the Contemporary Art Exhibition that was happening near Joshua's apartment, I briefly remember them mentioning it during dinner. I head to the kitchen and only find Mrs. Taylor. I go back to the living room and look out onto the balcony of the apartment, managing to find Joshua. I approach, seeing him leaning on the safety bar.

"Joshua?" My voice sounds low.

Joshua shudders and looks sideways at me. I stand next to him, observing the illuminated city.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I comment, in order to not let the usual silence affect us.

"One of the reasons for wanting to live on the top floor. From up here, we can see what we can't down there."

I look at my hands on the bars.

"Joshua... I wanted to talk to you about what you said to me during the night. About... still wanting something with you." I bite my tongue, looking for the right words to say, because, despite being able to talk about it with Betty, being with the person who was the subject of the conversation was totally different.

I hear his phone vibrate in his pants pocket, interrupting the confession I was about to make. Joshua steps away from the railing and answers the call. I look at his face and see a worried expression take over Joshua. I become apprehensive. What could have happened to make him like this?

Joshua ends the call, motionless.

"What happened? Who was it on the phone?"

"Emeraude. She... She's planning to take her own life."

"What?" My eyes widen automatically.

Joshua turns to the exit of the balcony.

"Where are you going?" I follow him.

"To stop her. She wants to do this because of me."

"I'm going too!"

"No!" He turns to me, stopping his steps. "You stay here."

"No! I'm involved in this too. She hates me for being with you! And if I don't go, I'll feel guilty."

Joshua doesn't argue and we go together outside the apartment.

"Where is she?"

"On the Thames Bridge. She's about to jump."