Chapter 54: Chapter 54

I looked out into the court and the boys still warming up to their game. Andre was running to Aaron’s left because it looked like Ian was going to throw the ball at him. His legs were bent at the knee and for a second I watched the muscles move and remembered how his muscles felt when he lifted me. That was the first nice thing he did for me – okay that’s not fair, he did prevent me from embarrassing myself at the beach. I forced myself to look away from him. We had that talk about staying away from each other for the sake of our friends. I swallowed hard and looked across the court again for Aaron. I found him reaching up to catch the ball when Ian passed it to him.

“Aaron Pratt.”

When Jessica didn’t give the response I expected – she wasn’t even responding at all – I glanced at her and she was watching me closely.

“What?” I asked.

She shook her head. “You are not doing this because of the Head boy Head girl thing, are you? I know that has always been fated but is that why you want Aaron to kiss you?”

“No. He told me he liked me and so far we have had a thing going on so yes, I want Aaron to kiss me before everyone.” I thought about what I said then added, “You know when we first resumed I think he tried to push it, but when he told me how he truly felt I knew I had to give him a chance.”

“But you were staring at that boy,” she pointed at Andre who was actively dodging a St. Patrick boy with the ball in his hand. He made a good pass to Mark who caught the ball and tried to shoot. He missed and the crowd shouted and clapped. “What is his name?”

I looked away from her. “Andre Rios. He is a new kid.”

“And do you look at Aaron the way you look at Andre?”

“How did I look at him?” I asked defensively.

“Have you ever seen a child stare at a candy or a toy they want through the glass, knowing they can never have it?”

I laughed at the ridiculous insinuation. “I don’t stare at Andre Rios like that!”

“Sure. So you will go for second best?”

I was offended by her question. “First, Aaron is not second best. He is a great guy and I like him a lot. And before you say anything, Aaron doesn’t think I am second best either.”

Jessica smiled at my defense. “Easy there, girl. It’s just… the way you speak of Aaron it’s like he is not the same Aaron Pratt I remember. He was the prankster, wasn’t he? He made a lot of trouble for you if I recall.”

“He changed. He is a really good guy.”

“Then I am sorry for doubting your choice and insinuating otherwise,” she apologized.

I sighed glad she apologized but unable to keep my thoughts to myself anymore. Jess and I are not as close as she is with Shewa but the fact that she picked me as Head Girl over Shewa shows that she had great respect and trust that I would fit her shoes well and take my duties seriously so I guess that means she can be trusted.

“Actually,” I started. “You aren’t wrong about Andre and me, and the fact that you could see that within minutes of being here…I think I owe it to you to be honest.”

She raised a brow. “It’s not hard to see. He has been looking your way even before the game started. It’s a miracle he can even concentrate at all.”

I frowned but I was secretly pleased. “I met Andre during the summer vacation. I am not as pretty or fancy or classy as my best friend, Siobhan…”

Jess groaned. “You are still going on about that?! I have watched you hide behind Siobhan Hayes for a long time, isn’t it time you stopped comparing yourself to her?”

“I do not compare myself with Siobhan, I just know my limits.”

“And your limits are behind Siobhan Hayes for the rest of your life.”

“Of course not,” I struggled not to raise my voice. “I can help that I can’t be equal with her. I can’t help it that Andre noticed her first before me. We met first but he went for her and now…now I don’t understand why he kisses me and looks at me the way he does. It’s like his eyes opened at the same time that I was putting him out of my mind and I don’t know what to do because my feelings are conflicted inside of me. I don’t want to ruin what he has with Siobhan, I don’t want to break Aaron’s heart because he is trying, he is investing a lot of time to make us work…” I took a deep breath to calm myself down then turned lost eyes to Jessica who was watching me avidly. “What should I do?” I asked in a small voice realizing that I had only just confirmed the same thing Shewa said. I was hopelessly in love with Andre Rios, and everything he did, everything we did only drew me closer to him. I lied to myself over and over again that I hated him because it made it easier to accept that than accept the truth.

Jessica put her hand around my shoulder. “I feel stupid because I am not in the best place to tell you what to do. I would tell you to follow your heart but look where that got me too.”

I frowned. “What happened to you?”

“Christian and I broke up. He wanted a break and I thought I was going to die when he said that.” She laughed sadly. “Well this is not about me, it’s about you and what you should do. What do you think is the right thing to do?”

“Come clean to Aaron, tell him what I feel for Andre, and promise I can get over my feelings for Andre and build a future for us. That’s the best thing I can do without hurting anyone.”

“But you would be hurting yourself.”

I couldn’t deny the truth in her words. “You said you weren’t in the best place to tell me what to do. But you followed your heart and dated Christian Ward even after everything that happened, you gave him the break he needed when he asked for it, do you regret it?”

She didn’t look away so I could see the honesty in her answer. “I do not regret anything I experienced with Christian. I loved him, I still love him. I took a chance on him and I loved myself for that. My decision made me happy and I know he was happy in the brief time we spent together.”

I looked away from her thinking how brave she was for doing something like that. Taking a chance at loving and losing.

“Take a chance at happiness with whoever. It could even be with yourself.”

But I already knew what I was going to do. Even if it killed me as long as Siobhan, Andre, and Aaron were happy, I would do the right thing.

Andre was so in love with Siobhan once that he feared I would come between them, I am sure that if I can sort through this thing with him he will find the feelings he once had for her and fall in love with her all over again.

“The first quarter of the game is about to end but will only 10 seconds on the clock which team is going to score the first goal?!” The announcer said.

At that moment a St. Patrick boy stole the ball from Aaron and passed it to his teammate who took a shot from the three–point arc to win three points for St. Patrick’s team. At that moment the timer went out and the first quarter ended. There were cheers among St. Patrick’s students. Their cheerleaders chanted and yelled as the players made their way out of the court.

Coach hurried quickly to our boys to encourage them since it was just the first quarter and there were still 3 more quarters to play until full-time.