Chapter 90: Chapter 90

Chapter 88: RiP George Floyd

"You can use a wet towel or moist cotton wool to wash baby's bottom... yes, just like that... you're a mother at heart Merri." Mrs Cunningham grinned proudly at Merri. She was focused, she wanted to try her level best to be a good mother to her kids. Thankful that Austin's mom was there to help her and teach her everything there was to know.

"...as well as his genitals. Yes, then dry him off. Usually if the baby is a girl, wipe from front to back to avoid any nasties from her bottom getting into her urinary tract and causing an infection. Good thing you have a boys but you ought to know all this incase you and my son..."

Merrigold blushed. "No more, I believe. These two are already a handful." She said softly.

"Oh Merri you never know, Austin was always against kids well look at him now? You never know... dear."

"I'm very very sure, not with the pain I'm in already..."

"It hasn't healed yet?" Mrs Cunningham asked. "Down there that is? It took me atleast six weeks to heal with Bertha and Austin."

"Oh goodness..." Merri sighed. "That is long overdue."

"You need to soak in warm water from time to time. It eases the pain. Hopefully you and my son refrain from—"

"No, ma'am. We wouldn't..." Merrigold felt very nervous whenever conversation led to talks of intercourse. It was very taboo and embarrassing to her. For goodness sake, this was Austin's mother. She could never feel comfortable talking about her deeds with Austin. Ever more she felt embarrassed, it was but an easy topic to get into. More than anything it made her feel indecent. Austin spoke of it all so lightly with no shame what so ever. Merrigold felt different about it all. Sex was the last thing on her mind at this point. The perineum is the area between your vagina and rectum. It stretches and may tear during vaginal birth. It's often sore after giving birth. This was a cut made at the opening of the vagina to help let the baby out. Merri was struggling to be a mother and nurse the changes happening to her body. The cramps were not taking it easy on her at all. Caused by her uterus shrinking to it's original size. Austin was helpful, everyone was but it was draining. For someone who had been thankful for not having her period for months. She shouldn't have celebrated too soon. Her vaginal discharge felt like period. For the first few days, it was heavy, bright red as if containing blood clots. Over time, the flow was getting less and lighter in color. Mrs Cunningham has told her that it may last a few weeks or even for a month or more. Experiences were different, William was to visit soon. Merrigold felt embarrassed, how would she ever dish out all about her vagina to Austin's mate. It was hard expressing it to Mrs Cunningham, what more to a man. It certainly did not put her at ease. The pain in her nipples and breast was heavy handed, the boys quenched on with no intention of letting go. Merrigold wondered if the strain of having two was making the experience more painful. Regardless all these thoughts disappeared as soon as they blinked their big grey orbs at her. Their cries so sensitive it made her heart falter with worry. She could never leave them out of her sight.

Gently lifting Lionel's little ankles with one hand and using the other to put the clean nappy under his bottom.

"Tuck his penis down so when he pees, it goes into the nappy, not out the front."

"Yes, ma'am." Merrigold replied. Lennox was asleep. Lionel had just woken up, disturbed by his uncomfortable mess in his nappy. Merri watched her week old son, try to fit his fist into his mouth. It was adorable, he had big grey orbs like his father but lighter, much lighter they resembled blue. Distracted the little boy flung his arms and legs. His eyes flickered all over the room, so calm as if he knew his mother was present. The past week had not been easy. Austin was asleep, they took turns at most. If Austin slept in the afternoon, he could stay up with the twins while Merri slept. They suddenly had no time for themselves or each other. The bags under Austin's eyes were much more visible than Merri. It was double the trouble. Regardless of it all, with each passing day, when Austin and Merri looked at their boys, tiny and innocent. Puckered lips and blinking obliviously, they felt so much unexplainable form of fondness. It was an unexplainable feeling of pride and joy. It took a toll on them but just one look at their angelic faces it was worth it. Nothing was more hurtful than their cries, their tiny chests would heave up and down, throwing a cat fit. Mrs Cunningham would always be quick to say, they got it from their father. Merrigold agreed, they were relentless when they didn't get what they want. They were so tiny but when they cried the whole house heard the miff. Even worse, when one brother cried, it caused the other to cry as well. It took some getting accustomed to but Merri and Austin were learning.

Whenever it seemed they couldn't. Both worn out by the boys. Walter would voice out. "It sure was a wonderful when you were both playing husband and wife well, this is all part of that package. The package you both participated in making."

Not being able to contain his nasty comments from time to time Walter was trying. After the cold truths his son had thrown at him on the day his grandkids were born. He certainly did not wish to die alone. He couldn't piece together people whom he could count on to come to his funeral, he had indirectly always been an ungrateful guest. Ungraceful with unwanted opinions and judgmental behavior.

"I will watch Lionel, Merri you may take a much needed break." Walter said picking his grandson up from his little pine tree cradle. Walter had made it with a little help from the other slaves. Assuming this would work as his apology. No one was taking him seriously, they remained cautious around him. Mrs Cunningham smiled at him, thankful he was trying to contain his toxic attitude.

"Sir—"

"Not to worry Merri, Rosie will take care of Lennox when he wakes up and I will be here with Lionel."

"Of course." Mrs Cunningham told her. Merrigold was unsure, a bit indecisive. She couldn't leave her kids with this man. Throughout her pregnancy he had been cunning, trying to convince her to consider them dead and put them up for sell. It haunted her, she couldn't trust him so suddenly. A part of her felt at ease knowing Mrs Cunningham was present but what if she was also sort of it all. No she couldn't be. Merri did not know what to believe anymore. Nodding at the old couple, she told herself she'd remain close. Her breasts hurt heavy from milk. Patches of milk on the buds of her breasts, her clothing depicted it closely as if they were two stains on her chest.

Entering the room she had sharing with Austin, Merrigold let out a heavy sigh. What was actually happening? She hadn't processed any of it yet. For one, she was a mother... a mother to two precious boys. But only that, a white man had fathered her kids. She was residing back in the main house. What was happening? What would happening after this? How would she care for them? Would Austin's family take full responsibility and kick her back to the commune as they should? Would they keep everything a secret? What would happen to her kids? Her and Austin had not discussed any of this.

"I do not know how but we need to find a way to cut their nails..." Austin broke her thoughts. Snapping out of her little bubble, she turned to look at him... he looked just as tired. His beard was growing unmaintained, his hair longer. For some reason Merrigold found him attractive, his effort to care for his kids before himself made him attractive.

Merrigold laughed approaching him on the bed where he laid. It seemed he had just woken up from his two minutes of sleep. With the boys, you never knew. They were wide awake in the evening but soundly asleep during the day. Merri caressed Austin's face noticing the tiny little marring the boys had caused on their father's face.

"You should stop giving them kisses... that's why they scratch you..."

"How could I not, they're so precious and I just want to hold them and—"

"And they love holding onto your face and scratching you like a canvas..." Merrigold giggled. Austin's smile simmered.

"I'm tired but I'm so happy." He muttered. "We need to cut their nails."

"I will ask your mother how we go about that..."

Austin wanted to say, you will ask your own mother once you meet her that afternoon but he didn't. He had to contain his joy. He could not wait to reveal it all to Merrigold. She deserved so much more.

"William will be here this afternoon."

"...can you tell him instead...I'm nervous... I wouldn't feel comfortable telling him any of my..."

"I assume he already knows love, suppose everything that is happening is all expected." Austin chuckled, giving her his one dimpled smile.

"...regardless..." Merrigold facepalmed hiding her face at the arch of his neck. Nestling into his embrace, ignoring her sensitive breasts that hated the feeling of anything against them.

"Fine alright, alright love."

"Thank you."

Austin only gave her a kiss on her temple. It was quiet for a moment. It was so easy to fall asleep when physically and mentally exhausted. Emotionally? They were so happy. Very happy.

—

Stay safe x

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