Chapter 64: Chapter 64

Chapter 62: The near end

As weeks went by, Mrs Cunningham was acting a little strange. She treated Merrigold a little too gently. Merrigold felt suspicious and oddly uncomfortable with the way Austin's mother was suddenly treating her. She had always been a nice lady but now she was...very very nice. Faith watched from afar with envy, why did this white lady not like her as much as Merrigold? Faith thought about what her mother had said to her... no it was not her fault that she did not have the privileges that Merri had. It was all favor. Merrigold was favored and had always been and for that reason Faith hated her more than anything. Of all the children on the plantation, Mrs Cunningham had to bring Merri to reside in the house, teach her table mannerisms and all the math she needed to help out in the office. It annoyed her. Faith felt it was not her fault. If Mrs Cunningham has been a fair lady, then she would have treated Faith just like Merri. Faith remembered how she had changed her name the minute she started working in the house at fourteen. Merrigold? Was Merrigold even her name. It was a nice name, all the white people could pronounce it and it was really nice. Kifah could not go around with a name with such spitefulness in tone. 'Faith' sounded more calm and nice like Merrigold.

"It's such a shame, I could not name any of my children some Deutsch names..." Mrs Cunningham muttered.

"Franz, Frieda, Hermann... are some very winsome names..."

Merrigold only gave her a light smile before looking down at her plate. Breakfast, Dinner and lunch consisted of her doing most of the talking. Merri did not mind, it's not like she had much to say.

"What do you think Lionel?"

"They're quite nice." Austin forced a smile.

"I hope one of my grandchildren can inherit a German name at least..."

"That won't be me unfortunately."

"Oh Austin, don't be silly!"

"So did your superstitions prove to be correct... Bertha is expecting then?"

"You will be surprised...!" Mrs Cunningham chuckled. Merrigold abruptly dropped her utensils. You will be surprised? What was she trying to imply?

"Will I?" Austin chuckled.

"You will."

"I suppose, I don't mind being an uncle. I already am to two little rascals..." Austin smiled looking at Merri who seemed utterly shocked. Frightfully not moving.

Did she know?

Ofcourse she knows.

She is a woman who has had three of her own kids. She could spot a pregnant lady from a mile away having been through it herself. Merrigold's nearly sixteen weeks belly bump was not helping.

"More reason I believe you would make a great father."

"Do you not think so Merri?"

"Uh...with the right woman. I'm sure he could manage." Merrigold spoke up.

"A woman like yourself Merri? You're a decent lady who holds herself with gracefully with respect for herself and others." His mother cheered.

From afar Faith cringed mimicking her words.... DeCenT lAdY wHo HOlds heRseLf blah blah blah... slut.

"No! Not me ma'am. I meant to say someone else presumably a white lady who uhm has enough patience and strength to be uhm involved with Master Austin." Merrigold felt as if she was speaking from experience she did not want it to seem that way. "...uhm someone educated like him. Someone from uh a good family. Someone like Lady Harriet. She is lovely and I reckon Master Austin took a great liking to her. She seems like someone who would make a great mother."

Austin only clenched his jaw as Merri spoke. "Well Merri, if Harriet has enough strength and patience to be with me. Why isn't she here at this very moment? The only woman who has had enough strength and patience for me through out everything is the one staring right back at me. Go figure!"

"That's because I have no choice? Do I? If I could leave I would. If I had a wealthy family like Harriet to take me far away then I probably would have. I'm leaving soon anyways. I can not bare living like this!"

"And where do you think you will be going?"

"Far far away from here..." Merri hissed.

Mrs Cunningham only watched as the two quarreled like long time lovers.

"I will find you."

"If you make it out of hell." Merrigold hissed back at him.

"Deal with it Merrigold." Austin muttered. "You're the only woman sane enough to have stayed with me even after I made you lose your child. You still stayed, you still came with me, you still loved to be in my presence and in my arms. Maybe you should have made up your mind then."

"Austin?!" His mother gasped.

With teary eyes Merri replied. "I thought you were capable of changing, I probably should not have gave you any high hopes."

It was tense. Austin's mother seemed horrified by the revelations revealing themselves on the table. She remained still, watching them stare at each other with keenness and unsaid words sailing the air. She had never seen her son so desperate and needy. Austin had always been pompous and high handed, seeing him merely begging for Merrigold's attention left her stunned. Mrs Cunningham has never ever in her wildest dreams thought or matched Merrigold with her son but it...seemed to have happened by nature. Mrs. Cunningham thought they were opposites, it was unbelievable. She still could not believe they had been together...they were having a child together. She knew Austin was oblivious. Oblivious to Merri now showing, her shape was not normal. If Austin had not been so focused on Merrigold's beauty and speaking so highly of her maybe he would have noticed. He did not seem to look at any of her flaws. Austin did not want to, if she was putting on some weight, he did not want to touch on it. He did not wish to upset her. He avoided looking at her anyhow or assuming. He did not want to assume, he had done enough assuming.

"I'm capable of changing, just give me a reason to..." Austin said reaching over across the table for her hand. Merri immediately moved her hand under the table. Their outburst had made them forget that they had an audience. Mrs Cunningham knew something had happened but not something this big or horrific. She suddenly understood Merri's reason for not being with Thomas. She suddenly understood why Merrigold was hiding her pregnancy but for how long?

Shaking her head, Merrigold felt embarrassed. It was in the mist of anger that she had forgotten her presence. "...I'm sorry Mrs. Cunningham..."

"No dear, I-i am utterly ashamed... on my son's behalf." She paused turning to look at Austin. "Dummkopf!"

"I'm anything but not stupid mother."

"You will never grow up or act your age. What shenanigans have you been up to? I'm losing hope for you Austin."

"That is all in the past."

"I'm going to take a walk, excuse me." Merri interrupted.

"Ofcourse dear, take care..." she replied softly.

"Merri you can not keep avoiding our issues. How do you reckon we will resolve them if you walk out every single time?"

"Who told you, I want to resolve our so called issues. Piss off." Merri hissed immediately walking out. Faith was aggravated. She had told Mrs. Cunningham that she was pregnant hoping for some sympathy or fewer chores but the old hag smiled and congratulated her but said nothing more of it. How was Merri merely not doing anything in the house but Faith was pregnant yet she was doing so much.

"...she is so heartless, rude, cunning—" Austin yelled at his mother.

"The woman you have played with in the past could say the same thing about you. I can not believe you and Merri were involved... I never expected it."

"Well then there... mother, Merri and I were very involved. Balls in deep kind of involved!"

"Watch your language young man!"

"My apologies... she brings out the worst in me...sometimes..."

"...allow her to have some time alone on her walk then follow her later on. Suppose you could both use some cooling off."

Austin slumped back in his seat.

"...just how long have you been dusting one place?" He questioned. Faith immediately flinched, knowing he was speaking to her.

"She is pregnant, don't be harsh."

"Oh... with Thomas child, I could careless. Come clear the table, I want you to make Merrigold soup. She hasn't been eating lately and I'm worried." Austin whispered the last part.

"Yes, Master Austin." Faith scurried towards the table. She had assumed her and Austin were now friends but clearly he had forgotten by the way he was treating her.

"This is all a mess, I could only imagine the pain Merri must be going through." Mrs. Cunningham said thoughtfully.

"Trust me mother, she could careless about Thomas swindling."

"Quit being a bully!"

"I'm not." Austin laughed. "That's the truth. Merri gets more hurt by my actions more than anything Thomas ever does. That says a lot. I presume she loves me."

"That is not something to be proud of."

"I know..."

Faith had, had enough of Merrigold at this point. She saw cooking Merrigold soup as an opportunity to add her rat poison. Faith did not want to ever hear of Merri, she did not want to even see Merrigold. Faith only wanted her to disappear for good. Meanwhile Merrigold was standing at the streaming lake, contemplating if she wanted to continue living in this miserable life... testing the waters. It was cold on her feet. The pebbles and stones hurt her feet as she took small steps into the much deeper current. Every time she wanted to change her mind, she saw Austin. She could not envision herself going back to him. Going back to that horror. Not after the manner he had yelled at her during lunch. He was an entitled imbecile who made want to puke. She dipped her head under water but quickly got back up heavily trying to catch her breath. It was painful. Water had travelled from her nostrils into her mouth. Her clothes soaked and sticking to her skin. She heard birds pickering at the bucks of the surrounding trees.

"No, I can't..."

"I can't..." Merrigold whispered. Trying to get back to the shallow side. She failed as the water pushed her towards the deeper flowing current. As it did she could feel herself not having any control over her body. She had been having her feet on the ground inside the lake but not anymore. As the water pushed her farther into it's trap of doom. Her first instinct was to kick, to jump, desperate to get to the surface. As she choked on the water consuming her, her mind kept replaying this is what you wanted. The water surrounding her felt stronger, gagging her, pulling her down to the bottom. She let out a scream, she knew it was a lost cause but with the panic in her heart. The water going in her nostrils into her mouth. She was desperate. She did not think or care for the consequences. She needed air, she needed a little bit of oxygen. The water pulled her down. She could only scramble with her arms splashing water, it only made it worse. She tried to hold her breath. The water blocked her hearing, settling into her ears. Her vision blurred. Dizziness and unwillingness to let go. She started to hallucinate, was this happening? It had to be a dream. It had to be a dream. As the water consumed her more and more, her mind convinced her it was a horrible dream. With little oxygen to her brain she could not function, it told her to let go. To allow the water to bring her deeper into its endless hole. Running out of the little air she had left, she tried to look at the sunlight but there was none. It dawned into her that she would not make it. She let out another breath of air this one more copious than others as if the last. Merri's body went limp, her mind went blank and let go of any effort to try and live. Her flaccid body floated in the water for a few seconds. Lungs had more or less given out... drowning in water there was no pain, just comfort.

As if her life was flashing before her eyes. She saw a man with warm grey eyes, jet black hair and a familiar smile. Austin Austin, her mind rang, it was Austin. He was holding her tight and whispering something. It was a dream, a hallucination of how good things had been in Manchester when it was just the two of them alone, with the comfort of the walls and privacy. His lips touched her, she begged for more touch. His raspy voice rang in her head. Surprisingly, it was shocking how out of every person in her life, in her last seconds of life... she thought of him.