Chapter 58: Chapter 58

Chapter 56: The offended

Merrigold woke up, bathed and cut one of her old dresses into shreds. It seemed her stomach was growing each time she slept. If she was pregnant this seemed different from her first pregnancy. Merrigold convinced herself she was only sick. Her first pregnancy was never this painful therefore this was not a pregnancy. She used to shreds to tie her stomach tightly. How could this be visible already? In her first pregnancy she had not had a bump until at least 12 weeks. She wondered if she was really pregnant when did she get pregnant? Another fear of hers was if she was not pregnant she'd fall pregnant again but she would not the father. She breathed in but could not keep it up. She did not want him to assume she was pregnant, he'd make her life a living hell. She knew that, she did not want that. She continued tying the shreds around her stomach. With the few clothing that she had, she looked for the biggest. She thought she looked somewhat normal. She could not move properly because of his tightness.

Thanks to the tiles that announced every person incoming. She heard footsteps, she could tell exactly whom it was. They stopped at her door. She was startled and did not move an inch trying to to make any noise. Why was he here? What had she done now? Merri quickly hid the shreds of the dress under her bed. She did not not if she should pretend to sit still, on the bed. Fear ran through her body. She did not know if she should remain standing. Her body froze, even the breath she had been holding in relaxed into its normal state. The button on her lower belly popped, with no warning what so ever. She quickly grabbed a jersey. She felt nothing was going her way. Tears threatened to fall, everything was simply all overwhelming. She tried to breath in and out. She tried to breath in... she still felt fat. The dress she had assumed to be her biggest, had failed to hide her eleven weeks bump. At this point she had nothing else. She'd have to hide under coats. Her mind scrambled, for solutions. As time went by she was slowly starting to realize she is pregnant. She hated every second of it. Not knowing how far long she was, she did not even want to think about the thought of what was growing in her stomach. Her heart simmered with pain and agitation. She wanted it out of her, she'd kill herself before she allowed Austin to make her suffer and lose the child. He would be doing both of them a favor, she thought. For a while Austin stood at the door, he did not know how to approach her. A week and a half had passed and... he had not laid his eyes on her. He wanted to see her even if it meant he had to be shouting at her to instill fear within her.

Clearing his throat, he called. "Merrigold..?" Making it sound as monotone as possible.

She panicked, she buttoned her work out woolen Jersey. She unbuttoned it, trying to make it seem more casual and not suspicious. After seeing that thing, she breathed in and buttoned it again. She was going bullocks, her eardrums were drumming with anticipation. Making up sounds, she could already hear the sound of him opening the door. She was hallucinating that night, everything that had occurred in her room. She could see small particle of splattered blood from Thomas on the cream walls. She fell to her knees her anxiety getting the best of her. Something told her if she did not reply he'd get in and find her... looking down her buttoned jersey and that thing. A thought crossed her mind, regretful. Maybe she should not have returned home that had been her opportunity back in Manchester she should have stayed with the nuns. She should have...

"...I s-should h-have..." she murmured to herself shaking hysterically. Her tears wouldn't stop. She had cake back for what? To drag Thomas into her mess and lie to him. What reason had she returned for? She knew the reason. She wanted Austin to chase her back home, to beg her. She wanted him, she came back for him and his attention. Nothing else.

"Merrigold are you speaking to yourself?"

"...oh God what do I do now..." she whispered still on her knees.

"Merrigold?"

"...yes, Master Austin?" She tried to sound as normal as possible. Surprisingly for the first time the words of submission had fell right from her lips naturally. Even Austin was surprised, he could hear the fear in her voice, the way it had attempted to crack mid-tone.

"Benjamin would like the rest of the files from previous months as he will be replacing you."

"...they're in—"

"Come get them!" He interrupted her. In all honesty he wanted to see her.

Her heart skipped a beat, she was scared stiff. He would kill her, she knew he would. The minute he found out he'd personally murder her. Her tears accumulated. Hastily wiping them her knees were beginning to ache she had not done anything but her feet still looked slightly swollen. She did not understand any of this. She wanted it gone. She did not want to be here.

"I'm still getting dressed, I will put them on your table the minute, I'm done." She replied. Her voice sounded off. Her tears kept flowing, she hated herself. Everything about herself disgusted her. Standing up, she yet again tried her best to look normal. She asked herself is this what her normal self would usually present herself. She took another one of her jerseys and wore it on top of the one she had on. She could feel right below her breasts sweat flowing down to her belly.

"No, I need them now!"

"Uh...y-yes of course Master Austin, I will be right up."

"Now!"

She panicked, wiping the tears off her face. She scrambled opening the door, she quickly walked past him. Their eyes met for a second, panic was all she felt. She led the way, he walked right behind her. Looking at her oddly. Something did not seem right, he could not put his finger on it but she seemed... fat..? Her jersey seemed over stuffed and portly.

"You do not know how to greet?" He teased.

Even his voice, almost gave her panic attacks. Every time she felt his throat vibrate to speak, she could feel every flesh in her body stiffen with fear.

"Good Morning..." She gulped down. "...Master Austin."

When they made it to the study, Merri immediately knelt down at the mahogany cabinet that laid against the wall. Looking for the papers, her hands shook with fear. Even more when he closed the door.

"You've been hiding yourself lately..."

Knowing Faith was right, if she caused any trouble the only person who would suffer would be Thomas. Merri wanted him to be happy, she wanted him to be able to meet his child... something she could never give him because of her adultery ways. Merri envied Faith, while she was knelt here carrying the devil's child. She was carrying an kind wonderful man's child. Well deserving to be a father.

"I've not been feeling well, Master Austin." She stuttered.

"For nearly two weeks?"

"I'm doing fine now."

She lifted the box and felt a sharp pain at her lower belly. She flinched... Austin noticed then immediately helped her out the box on his table. She looked down at the carpeted floor, fumbling with her fingers. Her heart was beating so fast. Austin held her hand, her heart nearly stopped. She could not speak, she felt frozen. Her mind was hallucinating everything he had done that night. Forcing her legs open, forcing his lips against hers. Her eyes looked at the door, she was closed shut. She felt like breaking down into pieces. He towered over her with his 6ft height. She tried to breath in. She felt self conscience, what was he looking at... was it that big? Could he see it. She was sweating. His thumb caressed her hand, she wanted him to dismiss her already. She had assumed this was all he had called her for.

"Merri?" Mrs Brown called.

"...she is looking for me..." Merri said quickly, never looking up. He raised her chin to look up at him.

"Look at me?"

"Merrigold!" Mrs Brown called louder. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Startled by any sudden sound, Merri pulled back her hand from Austin.

Mrs Brown opened the door. "Merrigold I have been searching for you everywhere yet here you're."

"I'm sorry... Master Austin had asked for the previous—"

"Come out right this minute!" Mrs Brown told her. Merrigold felt relieved, she quickly left.

"Young man, I need to have a discussion with you close the door!"

Austin did.

He felt as if he was being scolded.

"What do you want from that poor girl? Have you not done enough? Calling her here to be alone with you? Austin I do not know what kind of a man you have turned out to be. Nothing but a rapist!"

Austin bit his lip.

"What do you want from her?"

"...uh..." Austin sidling as the short lady pointed accusingly at him harshly.

"Answer me young man? What do you want from her?"

"Mrs Brown—"

"You hate Stella Ward but you're worse than her. Leave that girl alone."

"But—"

"No, leave her alone!"

"Who are you to tell me that? Nobody! You're not my mother!" Austin suddenly yelled back.

"Yet I'm the only person who still cares for your conniving evil self. Yet, I've stood by you all those years. If I leave, you will have no one. William will never be your mother or support you in the manner that I have. I raised you, while your own mother had her beauty sleep. Yet you have the audacity to tell me that I'm not your mother. Do not start with me young man, do not give me that attitude and do not roll your eyes at me..! I've let you go too far. I'm disappointed very disappointed."

Austin bit his lip and looked away.

"Leave that box, being it here!"

"No!"

"Bring it...!"

He handed her his box of cigarettes.

"And the matches...!"

"This is not right! This is blackmail."

"Bring that box of matches."

Angry, Austin throw the box of matches at her and marched out.

"Go think soberly!" She yelled as he walked out.

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH BLOODY MOTHER!" He yelled in the hallway.

"You're welcome my boy!" He yelled back to spite his sarcasm.

He cursed under his breath. Reaching down stairs. When the housekeepers looked at him giggling and gossiping amongst themselves. He kicked his mothers cabinet with fancy cutlery and it all came crushing down.

"Now you have some to do, get busy."