Chapter 50: Chapter 50

Chapter 48: The boys.

She had a lot on her mind. All regretful solicitude. It was hard to speak of something she had not came to terms with at all. The journey felt extremely long, dawdling. Merri noted that, the first journey with Austin had not felt this way because she was happy...excited...and...in— she would not say it. She was glad she had never said it with her own lips. She would never say it, unless she was begging to look like a fool. Her thoughts wondered off to that woman, Hilda? Merrigold spitefully still remembered her name. Who names their child Hilda? Merrigold hated the name. Hilda? It irked her... so did Stella. A part of her felt sympathy for Austin when her thoughts wondered off to the confession he had made to her. Merrigold thought a lot throughout this nearly 36 hour carriage ride. There were stops here and there but it did not daze her from thinking.

Ofcourse Austin had been intimate with Hilda before. An old friend, he had lied in her face. What was wrong with him? He said he loved her? Merrigold felt a different sort of misery in her chest it bellowed down to her gut. She could only blame herself for getting too far and overthinking that suppose this could have turned out differently. How could he claim to love her but lock her in a room with no blanket or water or food? She had not eaten since that early morning. If he loved her, he would have been considerate enough to look out for her needs. She was not asking for much... she did not expect him to introduce her as his wife or anything of that sort. As sad as it seemed, Merrigold knew her place. She had asked him to introduce her as the help nothing more but even that he refused. He'd rather have her locked in a room like a prisoner while he did... whatever pleases him. It hurt her so much how he easily forgot her after Hilda came. His demeanor changed. He was suddenly more interested in being with Hilda as if she was boring and had nothing to offer.

"Your husband will be pleased, is it not?" The old lady spoke up, a kind gesture. Merrigold could only think, see? She is delusional as could be. Why does she not just prophesy that Merri is an adulterous woman who has been with two men and no sign of marriage. This, suddenly gave Merrigold relief, yes, good relief. Her prophecy must have been misconception, if she could not even note that Merri had no husband.

"...maybe..." She faked a smile, it was tormenting for to have to pretend to be pregnant when she was not.

"He will be dearly pleased, it might cause havoc at the start but that will only be because he is in shock but once the boys arrive, he will melt into their charming dainty innocence."

Merrigold looked around and noticed that everyone else was sleeping. Except the two of them, she braved herself for a dreadful fantasy conversation. It was nearing the early hours of the am. The sun was starting to rise, she needed to stretch her arms and legs. They had been in the same position for so long. Her behind felt uncomfortably stiff. Her body felt stiff in the crammed compartment nonetheless she was grateful she would be getting home, back to her city. Without them she did not know where she would have ended up. Perhaps they would have captured her and sold her off to another white family. She could not imagine how that would have went, knowing the Cunningham's were far too nice than the rest of the slave owners.

Merrigold had not replied so Sister Gladys spoke again. "Have you thought of any names?"

Out of spite and hatred for that name, Merrigold replied. "Lionel!"

liOnEL... she imagined Hilda the hussy's horrid Yorkshire accent.

"Ahh that is a good one! I take a liking to it as well what about the other little boy?"

"Uhm... I have no idea, I did not think that far..."

"What about Lennox? To match with Lionel. If I had kids, I'd have named one Lennox." Sister Gladys said somberly. For a moment Merrigold felt sad for the old nun. "No regrets, I reckon. I'm happy to have lived and served the lord till my now age of fifty-three. Traveled to Africa and so many other places. Preaching and bringing the none believers to Christ."

"That is very admirable." Merri gave her a soft smile. She was seemingly opening up to her. "Lennox is a nice name." She added.

"It was my father's He was a reverend."

"I see..."

"Lionel and Lennox, hopefully they go well with their father's last name?"

Merri wanted to so badly tell her that she was not pregnant. She so badly wanted to let her know that there would be no Lennox or Lionel. There would be no such. If there was she did not want them. What would make her want Austin's children when he had killed her first? It was sorely unfair. She would not have it. If it was there... it had to go. It would be her worst nightmare. Her concern was hurting Thomas and nothing else.

"Malundi?" Thomas lastname.

"No... that sounds odd, it's not the last name that I'm seeing."

Annoyed, Merrigold kept quiet refusing to entertain this foolery. Sighing she decided to try again... "...Cunningham...?"

"Yes! Yes! That sounds right, I had no idea but I feel it within me that is the right last name. Lionel and Lennox Cunningham. Sounds perfect doesn't it? You must be overwhelmed with excitement to bringing two little humans into this world. They will depend on you, love you unconditionally and they will surely steal your heart. You will watch them grow and mold them into the men you'd want them to be. It's a great experience being a mother."

Merrigold clearly her throat. "How accurate are your prophesies usually? No offense Sister Gladys."

"Oh well...uhm I have to admit they're not always accurate but some parts always add up."

That was all Merri needed to hear.

She refused to believe this lunacy tommyrot nonsense.

"I see..." just when Merrigold was about to pretend to fall asleep, Sister Gladys spoke up.

"Please do not hurt yourself, Sister Merrigold. You have so much to look forward to in this life. Especially for your boys."

Feeling as if that was oddly specific, Merri only nodded. Saying goodbye had been harder than she thought it would be. They had done so much for her and she had offered to host them for lunch, supper anything at the Cunningham house. They kindly refused but Merrigold felt there was more that she could do for these awfully kind women that had came to her rescue. They gave her hugs and kisses on the cheeks and.... her stomach.

That aggravated her.

Promising that only God knew if they would ever meet again but given the opportunity they'd love to come back and meet Lionel and Lennox. Merrigold felt as if they were speaking of imaginary people. Lionel and Lennox did not exist, they'd never exist. She was tired of trying to break their little bubble. She simply smiled and nodded. Uncle Rodney who had been handling the horses out front, was just as kind. They gave her a Roman Catholic necklace. It was... nice, a cross of Jesus Christ. It made her feel emotional. She had never felt so loved and adored by strangers they had made her after heartbreak less hurtful. They had consoled her in so many way after facing disappointment. Regardless of not believing in Lionel and Lennox, she told them that they could always find her there in the plots of Marlborough. It was not as uptown as the place she had came from but she felt safe and secure here. She had not known saying goodbye would take so long, and when they had finally left her on the side of the gravel road. She could smell the stench of cow dung, she knew she was home. Holding the necklace around her neck, she got ready to face Thomas and her brother. The journey she'd long awaited, to be back here... home. The place she'd only ever known.