Chapter 48: Chapter 48

Chapter 46: The Ashamed.

"Humor me..."

"Love, please allow me, I need to entirely concentrate, stand still..."

"This is so vulgar." Merri complained.

"What is so vulgar about a man painting a woman with a body of art."

Merri let out a smile. Peaking from the canvas, Austin smiled back at her.

"You're not allowed to hang it anywhere where it is of public view."

"I hardly get any visitors so what is the point?" He mumbled focused on his work.

"Regardless, I do not know where you will keep that be it between your mattress or in the wardrobe but if you hang it up. I will never forgive you..."

Austin chuckled. "I won't put a face on it, just your body. Does that gladden you?"

"...no..." she replied with a stern look.

"You're unbearable."

"But you love me." She added.

"You're still unbearable." He countered.

"That's why you love me."

"I refuse..."

"I must have been mistaken when you pleaded 'Merri, this is not you. I want you to fight me. Argue with me'..." Merrigold mimicked his base.

Austin smirked, choosing to ignore her.

"Austin..."

"Yes?"

"I know you've been meaning to take me to certain places but... I've grown to love your secluded home. I'd rather be here alone with you than out there with judgmental eyes frowning upon us. I'd rather be here, than the sea or the wonders of the world. I feel... you're my wonder of the world. I experience everything through your eyes. I'd rather hear you whisper it to me than my seeing it with my own eyes. You make my world interesting..." Feeling embarrassed, Merri smiled when her eyes met those grey ones. "I went on quite a bit of a rant there..." she giggled.

Austin cleared his throat feeling overwhelmed by her confession. It was not everyday Merrigold serenaded him with sweet rhymes of her true feelings for him. It was rare but a beautiful scene that certainly brought him to his knees. "I still do not understand, how I lived for so long without you."

"You say that time after time..."

"It is only because I certainly can not believe or fathom the thought of a life without you."

She smiled, he smiled. It was quiet for a while as they gave each other stolen glances and peaks of adoration.

"I need a break."

"So do I." He replied standing up to move towards her. Pulling his silk gown over her shoulders, she tied it tight around her waist. Austin looked disappointed...

"...I'm hungry..."

"Aren't you always..." He joked.

"Only because I was once unwell and now I'm feeling much better and my appetite has seemingly returned."

"I'm honestly glad, I do not have to force you to eat."

"You could never convince me."

"I could but you're stubborn." Austin said wrapping his arms around her waist. She looked up at him, admiring his face. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she suddenly felt aroused at the thought of him being near and so close.

"I'm not."

"See, you could agree with me in this moment that you're but you're stubborn and still won't allow me to be right for once."

She shook her head in disbelief. Taking the opportunity to lay her lips against his. Soft and velvety, she did not intend to let go. They could not get enough of each other. Seemingly always hungry for each other with no exception.

"There's a knock..." Merrigold panicked, becoming afraid and in distress. She was quick to pull away from his embrace. "You said you did not have any visitors..." she whined.

"I'm just as taken aback..." Austin shuffled back and forth. "Allow me to go get it."

At the door stood Hilda Westbrook. Her light brown shoulder length curls properly done and a dish of lasagna in one hand.

"A little birdie told me you were back in town away from the bedraggled plots, such a bore... it must have been. I had to see for myself, that birdie turned out to be  very much factual because here you're."

Austin was a little surprised, he couldn't fathom a reply quick enough. Hilda looked pretty rad and neat, he thought. Their last parting had been very unjust.

"Right..." He chuckled nervously.

"Knowing you..." she pushed him aside, letting herself in. "My poor Lionel, you'd be starving with your lack of cooking skills. I reckon as it is you must be living off a crate of eggs and bread is it? I'm not leaving, if that's what you're set on." She said hastily laying the lasagna on the table. Austin immediately excused himself, Hilda made herself at home by removing her shoes giving herself a quick massage on her ankle bone. Austin made his way to his painting room, Merri stood there expectedly wanting to know what was going on.

"Someone very important is here..." Austin whispered.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"An old friend that's all." He added, now annoyed with her questioning.

"You have to stay here, make yourself busy. I will be back."

"But for how long?"

"Merrigold please!"

"Is this friend a lady?" She scoffed a little loudly trying to show him that she wasn't scared of his tactics and that she'd do whatever she wanted.

"Please behave yourself Merrigold!" He warned.

"Introduce me a as maid then...!"

"You must be unhinged if you think I will introduce you in any manner." He hissed at her. Merri was hurt.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" She asked him with a quiver in her voice.

"LIONEL, hurry up!!! The food is getting cold. Enough with the airbrushing already, I've had enough of you painting if you think for a second I will strip bare for your artwork once more then you're delirious."

Merrigold felt... he did this with every woman? She was not special?

"Are you embarrassed of me?" She questioned once more.

"Stop assuming..." he whispered looking aside not being able to face her.

"Are you ashamed of me LIONEL?!"

Austin let out a gulp, hearing the anger and the harshness in her tone. He couldn't reply.

"Introduce me then?" She said in a low tone laying her hand on his chest. He sighed and moved her hand away.

"Hilda will break you Merrigold. She will break any self esteem you ever thought you had. She will leave you in distress. I'd honestly rather not. Be it I Introduce you as my maid or whatever it is. Hilda is not someone you'd like to meet. She will have you scrubbing the walls the minute she hears you're around. She will make a banter off everything."

"Just admit it, you're humiliated by my presence and I'm only good for warming your bed." Merri replied, her tears threatening fall. She did not want to seem weak but she could not help it. "Go to your dear Hilda, LIONEL!"

"In all honesty Merri. Just look at yourself. I do not mean this in an abashed tone but look at you and look at me. I'm too good for you, I can never Introduce you in any way... no matter how beautiful I think you're, I doubt other people see it that way. To them you will always be a hideous lousy nigger!"

"Yet you had the audacity to ask me to be your wife? You enjoy playing me for a fool." Inhaling and trying to compose herself, she found her tears streaming from each eye. "...clearly..." she muttered.

"LIONEL!!" Hilda yelled.

"...go..." she told him.

Feeling an ache in his chest. He knew he had messed up. "I will be back..."

"It's alright, take your time." She mumbled looking away, to wipe her tears. "I do not want this, please take me home tomorrow. I'm done with this foolery."

"We will talk about this when we've both calmed down." He whispered.

"...no..." she mumbled her voice cracking. "...take me back where I belong."

With a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair. He left, locking her inside. He told himself she was simply overreacting. That night as Merrigold sat in the dark hugging her knees to her chest with her dried tears. She heard them laughing. When it was quiet she could only imagine Austin was doing what he knows best, seducing. She heard glasses being broken. It startled her. She heard the bedroom door closing shut, with the woman's giggles here and there following behind. Her heart sank. She'd never make the mistake of thinking Austin took her seriously. This was how he saw her. The poor lousy nigger. Merrigold only wanted to be home. She felt homesick. She felt cold in a gown with nothing under. She felt angry, hungry and hurt. Walking towards the canvas she ripped the image in front of it. He'd always have other women to paint.