Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Chapter 11: Austin.

With so many temptations, I did not indulge. With so many offers and approval from the innocent catholic girl that my sister had assumed she was, I still refused to give in or go farther. For a moment, I thought maybe just maybe I was overthinking everything. All I needed to do was apologize to Merrigold for my behavior suppose try to base a new happy friendship which would be extremely difficult because I by far did not see her as a friend. She was below me, she could never be a friend. Infact I had just enough friends. I wondered how William had done it... I would not let him know, afraid he would laugh at me in the face for being so pathetic and insanely of unsound mind.

I needed to be home, I needed to be there... where she was. I felt annoyed with the mindless chatter going on. I excused myself, letting them know; I felt sick... sick of their faces. Well, no I actually said a fever because my sister did not take any sort of bullying even from me. It was the first time I had seen my parents in a long while, my sister had been too happy to inform them about Harriet and I. To my own defense, Harriet and I were simply friends but suppose she was thinking too far. Naive, is what she is. Could I put it past her when she happened to be seven years younger than myself? Such a child. I doubted it, Merrigold on the other hand happened to be just as young. It infuriated me how she played with my emotions and acted clueless. My parents either asked about the ranch or Merrigold or when I'd apologize to my brother. If my brother wished to return, he could, he would. Nothing and no man was stopping him. If Henry came back, I'd welcome him with open arms. Regardless of everything he would always be my brother. What I would not burden myself with, was giving out apologies. It was not my pride speaking, it was—

I could not speak of it. I told myself I'd never speak of it. This was something that had troubled me as a child, as a minor... I assumed I had hit the jackpot but now that I was older. I knew how wrong it had been, my aunt abhorred me. "Son..." I heard my father interrupting my peace. I turned to look back at him then turned back around with no hesitation.

"Is there something bothering you? You do not seem yourself not even one bit!" He took a seat next to me on the patio. "I should have known the ranch would be too much of a job for you."

"It's not that at all!" I said a little too quickly.

"Then what is the matter?"

"I seem to have not had enough sleep."

"That is no reason to simply walk out during dinner with your family. Mind you, we haven't seen you in a long while—"

"I know, I apologize."

"It's alright, if you need help or is a bit much remember we can always hire someone to take care of the—"

"No no no father, this job was meant for me. I quite enjoy it."

"I had assumed, you were used to the fast pace of the west rather than down here in the plots. Your dream as a child was always to go to America."

"I did and I suppose, I did not like what I saw. Things were rather much different from Britain. I'd rather be home, at the plots with the horrible stench of cow dung." We both chuckled at this.

"And Harriet?" He raises an eyebrow, I had known this was coming. My mother had probably sent him to snoop around.

"We're really good friends."

"You can tell me anything, Lionel." I fumbled at my father calling me by my second name. It held so much, it rendered me a different person. A kinder, gentler person. Growing up, being Lionel at home where I had been known to be a practical angel then at boarding school being Austin the culprit and bully who was associated with the horrible Gallagher's. My parents were never of the destructive or evil nature, they never encouraged my friendship with the Gallagher's. I'd like to think I had grown up an egg but the more time I spent with William, his father and brothers, I hardened into stone for the better. My father's teachings of forgiveness did not benefit me anything. My mother's teachings of kindness and being a giver would never get me anywhere in this life. My parents little goody goody God serving world was not something that fit someone like me. Reason being why my dream had always been to go far, to go far away from my family and their little perfect Facade.

"She is a nice girl." I added.

"You become colder by the day, I'm afraid we failed as parents the minute we allowed you to be around Joshua and his calamitous family."

"This is who I am father, it's not them or this and that. This is me. Suppose I'm not the type to marry and that is alright."

"How could you say such a thing Austin?" I was back to Austin. "Marriage comes from God. Genesis 2:18 says God created humans with an innate need and desire for the close bond that marriage provides."

"Ofcourse, you always have a verse up your sleeves." I chuckled, he only seemed displeased.

"Isaiah 62:5 also notes an ideal marriage relationship mirrors God's loving relationship with his people." He paused. "You can not live the rest of your life roaming around like headless chicken, these are the reasons why you destroys others marriages. Simply because you do not respect such a Godly covenant. You're a swinger!"

I only chuckled. "Father in my defense, a swinger is one who offers advances and I by far have never done that."

"Continue to disappoint your mother and I. We can not expect grandchildren from someone so feeble minded." My father seemed exhausted, guilt seeped into me. "Austin... are you sure you have not developed a bastard offspring with your adultery ways?"

"Would you like me to?" I said as a banter.

"You're—" He paused slowly shaking his head. "Do as you please but do not cause this family anymore shame. Be aware that after this life there is heaven and hell. If you do not fix your ways... there will only be one road for you."

I did not say a word from there on. I let him have the last word, knowing his preaching would never come to an end.

—

Coming home, I felt some sort of excitement build up inside me. For many reasons, I could not wait to see her. It was impeached within me even though, I refused to settle on it. Hearing sniffles, past the corridor, I became awfully concerned.

"Eh... Merrigold are you alright?" I asked. She seemed mental scrubbing her sheets as if they held a plague. Cheeks stained as she looked at me, for some reason I felt pitiful and wanted to know what was wrong.

"P-please leave me alone..." she stuttered.

"Not when you're crying." I countered.

"I'm f-fine t-thank you.." she said quickly rubbing wiping her eyes.

"Is it not a little too early for laundry, if so you should have started with my sheets upstairs." I tried to banter but she only seemed serious.

"I will get to that, I messed on this one with my period which I'm awfully disgusted and embarrassed with myself for." She said, surprisingly her tears had stopped. I felt relieved, I was not exactly the best comforter.

"Oh alright then." I replied out of words. Trying my hardest not to seem appalled at the thought of a woman bleeding.

As I was about to walk away. "You're back so early!" She added, I was surprised for some odd reason. She was actually initiating a conversation with me? I thought she hated me.

"I missed you." I told her. It slipped and I did not even feel the need to cover up. She seemed shocked, appalled, I thought she was cute.

"Oh-I-Uhm... let me finish this."

"Alright then Merrigold."

"How's Lady Harriet?" She questioned just as I was about to walk away. What was with this woman?!

"How should I know, my dear Merrigold?"

At this she blushed. This had been our first encounter without exchanging words. The edge to pull her up to my room was near. I wanted to ravage her, finally make her a woman and give her ecstasy. Show her what she was missing out on. My Mary the Virgin. I did not dwell on my father's words of guilt. I only wanted to continue being civil with Merrigold, after seeing her cry... I did not have it in me to be a complete douche. She was simply innocent and that made her attractive in my eyes. I wondered how she would feel, how her lips tasted. I did not worry much about Thomas, he did not seem man enough to take Merrigold. If he did, I could not bare think of it. I could not bare the havoc I'd cause in both their lives. I always had to get my way.

"She is your—"

"My lady friend." I finished her sentence, with that I turned to walk away. With the way things were looking, I knew too well that Merrigold would be in my bed soon enough, with enough patience and kindness.