Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Finally...Leaving the hospital was the best news so far,but going back to the very same mansion that I lived with the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was miserable.

From afar I could see the guards and maids standing at the front door of the mansion.

"Welcome home Mr Rolland!" Canada and the others standing in front of me with a tray of milk and cookies said warmly.

"Thanks," I said plainly.

"Take me to my room Mark,"I said a bit harshly.

"Yes boss" in no time I was in the very same room me and Nuella shared, and it all came back, coming back to me.

"Do you want anything else, boss?" Mark asked. No response.

"I'll take that as a no" she concluded.

"Please call me whenever you need me to do something for you, I'll be right out the door" he said, turning his back to disappear.

I sat on my wheelchair,I felt hopeless, I could feel the rush in my blood, I felt the irate fuss inside me, everything felt lost,I was lost.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!"I scratched right on top of my voice.

"Wahhhh '' I lose my guard down, allowing those tears to take my fear and anger.

I wheel myself close to the bed, and all I could really do was the last time we made love, the look on her face,the smile on her lips,her scent,her messy hair, and amazing body.

And right beside the bed,I could see a pic of both of us, laying beautiful,she looked so happy,we looked so happy together.

"Am sorry Nuella,am so sorry" I sobbed out.

I wished so much for her to come back, I wanted all this to be a bad nightmare, but it wasn't, it was all reality,I was a bad nightmare,it was probably my fate.

I don't think I was born to ever have love,I don't think I was supposed to fall in love,I killed her, I killed just like I always do.

"Mr Rolland?" Canada from outside called out to me. No response.

"Can I please come in?" She asked. No response.

"Please don't hurt yourself sir" she said with so much concern in her voice. No response.

"I believe you want to be left alone, and I really respect that" She continues

"I'll make something great for dinner" she said No response.

"Your favorite!" She said with every intention to make me say something.

Am sure she left when she was getting a response from me, I wanted to die in that coma, knowing I would never be with Nuella again, I wanted to be with her forever, wherever she was,that where I belong.

Canada came back a few hours later to see if I'll be coming out for dinner, but like she knew, I was in total grief,food was the least of my problems, I was sitting in a goddamn wheelchair!.

I strive to get up and make myself walk up the bed, but I knew what I was in for as my whole weight hit the cold ground.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" I groan.

The door swings opened, I could see Mark and Canada rushing towards me to assist me. "Boss are you ok?" Mark asked.

No response.

"Are you hurt Mr Rolland" Canada asked with so much care in her voice. "Am fine!" I said rudely, my voice at its peak.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes to regret the way those words came out,they were here to help,the least I could do is to be nice.

"Am sorry" I said.

"Huh?" Canada totally confused what she just heard while Mark buried his head to his feet, not wanting to see the man I've become.

"Am sorry for being rude to both of you, thank you" I said.

"Please don't be sorry sir, we are sorry for being so much of a burden to you and" She was

immediately interrupted.

"It's fine," I said with a weak smile on my face.

Canada hurriedly turned to leave, Mark stood for a while without saying anything and just as he turned to take his leave.

"Mark" I called out.

"Thank you for saving my life" I appreciated him. "Thank you for being here with me right now," I Said.

"Thank you for not giving up on me" I said,I might be in a coma but I felt those words he said.

"Boss" Mark wrapping me in a tight hug,I could feel the hot teardrops on my back. "Thank you" I said finally,I watched him walk out the door slowly.

I lay on the perfectly laid bed, facing the ceiling and the walls staring at me, I could hear her laughter in my head,and all her giggling, I smiled to myself as hot tears rolled down my eyes to my side, cheeks down to my eyes straight to the pillow.

I closed my eyes, to see her face, to love and behold her in my dreams,to kiss her soft lips and tell her how much she means to me,to make sweet memorable love to her.

The flashes of all the time we had together played right in front of me, sweet and sour, I laughed out to myself,I was probably going insane.

"I love you so much Nuella, in life and death" I said softly.

I could feel her presence,I hated her absence,life without her was full of wants and desires. "I miss you so much" I said, like I could see right in front of me.

"Come back to me" I told her,I want her, I want her back right now. "Hahahahaha" I laughed so loud, one could confirm I was going crazy.

"Am sorry, am so sorry" I began to cry,I cried like a sucking child, I was hurt, my soul was ripped.

"I killed you, I killed her!" I kept repeating to myself as my emotions got the very best out of me. I swam in my head and drowned in my thoughts,I was in this alone.

I dozed off.