Chapter 38: Chapter 38

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"You're quitting?" Jenson looked up from his phone after reading the unexpected email that awaited a response from him.

A signed resignation letter.

The sender?  The person standing in front of his desk.  The only person he was looking forward to talk to and hang out with since he got out of bed.

Her plain black shirt hung an inch above the waistband of her light pink jeans, her sneakers almost the same color.  A loose ponytail bound her dark hair, baring the smoothness of her face and her memorable features.  No makeup.  But still pretty.

Heck.  She looked beautiful no matter what she wore.  No matter what time of day.  It kind of annoyed him as often as it distracted him at work.  The past few weeks weren't a breeze at all with her spending almost every day with him.  But he pushed the thought aside, because he loved working with her.  And they made a great team.

But now she wanted to leave?  Why?

He stood still and studied her neutral expression.  It was all just a mask.  Why did she feel the need to pretend to seem nonchalant about the whole thing?  "We got a problem or somethin'?"

"Sorry." Jessi took a step closer and kept her head down.

Sorry?  Just "sorry"?  He blinked at her pale face.

Her hushed apology told him she was indeed being serious.  Her fairly nasal voice made her sound like she'd been crying.  Her nose and eyes looked a bit pinkish as well.  Or perhaps it was just her allergies again.  "I suppose you didn't expect this, but, I think it's for the best."

"Expect this? No. Not at all."  He scoffed while his hand itched to slam his phone onto his work desk.  For a while, he just waited for her to say something else.  When she only stood still with her lips pressed together, another shred of patience left his grip.  "What's the matter?"

"I just..." Jessi covered her face, then stared back at him with a somewhat helpless look in her eyes.  "I can't keep living here. It's too expensive, and with all that's going on..."

That's why she wanted to quit?  Money issues.  Living expenses.

Well, okay, then.  "Expensive," he echoed in a quieter voice, his logic scrambling to come up with the best conclusions.  "Alright. So you need a raise." Jenson eyed her as she slouched before him with her head almost bowed down. "Is that what you wanna say?"

"No." Jessi glanced at him and faked a smile that almost instantly turned into a frown.  She crossed her arms below her chest.  Then her eyes avoided his stare.  As if she couldn't bear to look at his face for more than a second.

He scowled at the scent of embarrassment and fear he could smell on her.  It mixed with some anxious sweat and a fair amount of hesitation he could decipher between her words.  "Then what is it?" he sighed.  He just wanted and needed to hear a better explanation from her.

"Just...everything."

He pulled a face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think...it's best if I didn't stay here." She glanced at him and took a step backwards.  Her lips quirked into another faint smile, but it disappeared sooner than he could come up with a proper response.

"What d'you mean?"

"I don't really... I mean I don't want to..." Jessi looked away and muffled a sigh with her palm.

"You don't want to what?"

"To be honest, I loved working here, and working for you. Really. And I appreciate all your help."  She paused to look at him.  "Everything you taught me, the things I learned, your help with the hospital bills, and everything else. It's been a great experience. Thank you. Really."

He squinted at her, scowling at her poor attempt to divert the conversation.  What she just said didn't reek of bullshit, but they weren't what he needed to hear.

Why did she seem so nervous?   Maybe she thought he would pitch a fit.  Or accuse her of flaking out on the job and pulling a cop-out so soon.

He didn't want to, but now that she wasn't giving him the real reason why she just decided to quit, his temper was starting to act up again.  Jenson unclenched his fist, watching her closely, his brain busy trying to put the puzzle pieces together.  "Cut it out, Jessiah. Just tell me."

She sighed in reply.  Jessi gripped her left arm and looked away when he just kept staring.

He kept waiting.  Just waiting for her to say more.  He wanted her to explain her sudden decision and her side.  There was more to the story, but she clearly didn't want to tell him everything.  "I'm not lettin' you leave till you tell me what's wrong."

"Jenson..."

"I'm serious. Talk."  He shouldn't stop her from leaving.  He shouldn't dictate her choices.  He didn't own her.  And more importantly, he shouldn't have kissed her.

It was way out of line.  He didn't need a reminder.  And he should have apologized last time.  But a bigger part of him still didn't want to.

It wasn't something he planned.  After he picked her up at the hospital the other night, with her all alone, fully recovered and healthy again, he just couldn't help but hug her and kiss her—out of pure relief.

Just a heat-of-the-moment kind of hug, and then a quick kiss on her cheek.  Nothing more.  He hadn't seen her in weeks after she had to stay in the hospital for treatment and constant monitoring.  But perhaps she thought what he did was totally unnecessary and just inappropriate.

"If it's because of the other night, I'm sorry."  He covered his face and shook his head.  "I didn't mean to. Alright?  Was just  relieved and happy to see you finally walkin' out of there."  He sat down in his swivel chair after glancing at the glass windows.

The white blinds covered them all.  But he'd bet there was no one else working on their floor at this hour.

Must be why she thought it was the best time to break the news to him.  "No.  I-It's not just about that." Her voice wavered.  Then she let out a noisy sigh.

"You mean, it's not really about money and living expenses. So why are you quitting?"

"I'm not saying right now." She made a face and sat across from him.  Her forearms rested on the edge of his tidy desk while she distractedly stared at the pile of paperwork in front of her.  "It's at least two months' notice. Like I said in the email."

"Just so you can say in your résumé that we worked together for a year?"

"Yeah. Sort of. And I gotta help you find a replacement first. Train them for a month at least."

"I don't want a replacement." He scoffed and shrugged.  His chest and throat felt like they were constricting for some reason.  Anger?  Perhaps.  But he wasn't upset with her—he was upset with her decision.

It wasn't purely for selfish reasons.  He didn't want her to stay just to drag her into his messy personal life.  He just didn't want to lose her as his assistant.

No.  Not yet.  Not now.  Maybe not ever?

At this point, she was too valuable to him.  He couldn't lose her—not this soon.  Finding a replacement as good as her would be near impossible.  Merely thinking about it was already giving him a damned migraine.  "If you need a raise, I'll give you one next month. No fuss."

"Joss, it's not just about—"

"Then why quit?" He frowned again.

The dimmed lights in the room cast shadows on her small face, but he could see enough of the ruefulness and disappointment in her reaction.  Why wouldn't she give him the real reason she just decided to quit working for him?

"Why this soon?"

"Sorry. I-I just can't give you a definite answer right now." Jessi smothered her sigh with her palm.  "Just...I'll work for another few months, help you guys out until the new season's released. I'll stay till you find a new assistant."

"I don't want a new assistant."

"Joss..."

"Go home," he muttered, grabbing his phone to distract himself from the anger and self-loathing that readily crept into his thoughts.  It was late.

Maybe she was just exhausted and having some kind of anxiety attack.  Like that time she first found out she caught the virus.

"Sleep on it. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Okay," Jessi murmured after a lengthy and awkward silence.  Then she put on her face mask and tentatively got up from her seat.

He stared at the look in her eyes and held back a scowl.  Guilt and shame.  Those were the things that stood out to him.  But why did she feel guilty?  Just because of what he said about Charm?

"I'll go ahead."  Jessi grabbed her bag and eyed the door now.  "Sorry."

Ugh.  Another half-meant apology he didn't need.  He sat back and clenched his teeth,  watching her walk out on him to leave him alone with his restless thoughts.  "I know."

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