Chapter 47: Chapter 47

Constance point of view:

I still can't believe that Darren tried to rape me. I thought it was a dream but it was a damn reality especially when Darren hadn't come to school for the past three days and he refused to pick up my calls. I just wanted to hear the truth from his mouth. I don't know why I find it so hard to believe that he did something like that to me but no matter what I want to believe, that's still the truth. He tried to rape me. It hurt so much when someone you trusted betrayed you.

“This is unbelievable, Darren… he wanted… oh! Goodness." Jocelyn was lost for words the day I told her about what Darren did. She doesn't know what to say.

Darren has been good to both me and her, we trusted him. We have never thought that he could do something like that. He had helped me many times, I never thought he was doing all that because he loves me.

He doesn't love me, if he loves me he wouldn't have tried to rape me. What he felt for me is lust and not love.

I walk out from the bathroom. I took a simple gown from the closet and put it on. The door clicked open and my husband walked in.

I took my eyes away when it fell on him. I have not spoken with him for the past three days, although he's trying his best to raise a conversation between us.

What's his problem? He doesn't love me, he treats me badly and he hurts me. Shouldn't he be happy that things are like this between us?

I have been trying to be strong throughout this week but I can't look over the fact that I'm hurting. Deeply hurting.

Ignoring my husband, I was about to walk out from the room but he held my wrist and gently drew me back.

“Constance, Please let's talk." His voice is so gentle but I cared less.

“We have nothing to talk about. Please let go of me, I want to go downstairs and meet grandfather," I sarcastically said and tried releasing my wrist from his grip.

“I'm sorry. I've hurt you a lot. I was a coward, yes I am and I still am. Can you hear me out, please…. I never wanted to hurt. Like I said, I'm a coward." His voice is full of emotion.

I didn't talk nor did I turn to look at him. My heart is still heavy.

“I love you Constance. I do."

I froze. Did I hear him right?

“I've been in love with you but a coward like me keeps denying it. Right now I can't continue caging my feelings. Please, look at me." He tried turning my face to stare at him.

I slowly let the tears fall off my cheeks. He's in love with me? Why then did he hurt me?

“Look at me Constance, please." His voice sounds as if he's begging.

I hesitated before I slowly turned to stare at him. His eyes… I can see love in his eyes. He had never stared at me the way he's doing right now. I feel that when he said that he loves me, he was sincere with his words.

He raised his fingers and gently wiped the tears on my cheeks. The tender touch of his fingers made me shiver a bit. I closed my eyes, trying to fight back the tears.

“If you love me. Why did you hurt me?" I asked. Yeah, I need to know.

“I'm sorry for hurting you. I am ready to explain everything to you, Constance."

Why do I feel that Natasha was the reason he was restraining himself from accepting his love for me.

“I got this for you." He kneels down and gives me a rose. “Will you forgive me, my love?"

My heart skipped a bit. My love. I literally blushed.

“Hmmm?" His head was tilted up while his eyes were staring directly at me.

“I will forgive you but after you explain things to me."

He smiled. “But can you take the rose?"

I smile and nod while I take the rose from him.

He got up and took me to the bed as we both sat down.

He started telling his story. Like I had expected, Natasha was the reason he constrained himself from falling in love.

He said that he loved Natasha so much that he could lay his life for her. He promised her that he will never love anyone else but her. He made the same promise to her before she took her last breath on the hospital bed.

For years he mourned her death and won't stop blaming himself for being the cause of her death. They had an argument that night because of Kevin. He knew that he's the one that Natasha loves but he's the jealous type and will always get unnecessarily jealous.

That night he left her apartment in anger and went to a bar where he got himself drunk. He was so drunk to even stand on his feet. The bar attendant used his phone to call anyone related to him and it happened that he called Natasha.

Natasha had a fatal accident on her way to the bar. She was rushed to the hospital by good samaritans but she died the next morning. He was the last person that spoke to her before she gave up a ghost.

Despite everything the doctors did, they couldn't save her because she was already suffering from a kidney disease before she had the accident.

Because of the love he has for Natasha and the fact that he blamed himself for her death. He gave himself a punishment not to ever fall in love but he knows that the punishment won't be enough for being the cause of Natasha's death.

After hearing his story, I felt sorry for him.I felt sorry for Natasha but I was a bit jealous of the kind of love he had for Natasha. If Natasha was to be alive, I'm sure that I won't end up with him. He loves her so much to never leave her for another woman.

But fate has its say in everyone's life. Maybe I am fated to be with him.

“But when I met you everything changed." He cupped my cheeks, staring deep into my eyes. “I said that I won't fall in love but you came into my life and I was so helpless. I tried my best to kill the feelings but couldn't. I realised that anytime I hurt you, I felt hurt too. No matter what I do, the feeling is still there. Then I realized that it's time for me to get over Natasha because I love you so much and I don't want to lose you because of my stupidity. .

“After Natasha's death, you are the first woman that made me feel this way. I thought it wasn't love but I was wrong. It was love….. I love you Constance, so much. Please forgive me for ever hurting you."

A tear fell down his cheeks. I was shocked. I have never seen my husband this way. I always know him as that cold and valiant young man. For him to cry, it means he loves me so much just like he said and I'm not so heartless not to forgive him.

“I forgive you and I love you too. I always do." Yeah. I've always loved him. From the first day I met him, I fell in love with him.

He hugged me and I warmly accepted the hug.

I wanted to ask him if he would still say that he loves me if Natasha was alive but then I realized that was a stupid question.

Everyone has the right to fall in love again if the person they love dies, betray or leave them but when something like that doesn't happen, they will stick with their first love.

Natasha was his first love, he lost her and fate brought us together so that he could love again.

If he didn't lose Natasha, he wouldn't meet me, rather I would meet someone else who will love me.

He disengaged from the hug and kissed my lips softly. I smile. I love the softness of his lips and this is the first time someone has kissed me.

Though there was a time I dreamt of my husband kissing me. That was the time I went to the birthday party of Jocelyn's cousin and I was drugged. That was a dream so I shouldn't count it as a kiss.

Wait… I think that Darren forced himself to kiss me when he tried raping me. That bastard, he took away my first kiss. I clenched my fist and tried not to appear angry because I don't want my husband to think that I'm angry at him.

I regret ever letting Darren into my life and trust him. How can he do something like this to me?

“And about Shantel," he said.

Oh!I've totally forgotten about her. That witch, why do I feel that she was the one that forced herself on my husband

“She's working with Darren. She entered my life as a business partner and at a time I took her as a friend. But her intention is to separate us. That was her and Darren's plan. That picture you saw was fake. I was intoxicated, nothing happened between us. She just took that picture and sent it too you so that it will make you angry and doubt me, surely causing a misunderstanding between us."

I was shocked. Darren went this far. Why does this hurt? It always hurts when you trust someone and they break your trust. I made a mistake in allowing someone like him into my life.

“Constance, you don't need to feel sad because of that bastard. I've presumed he has an evil intention by coming into your life even before he confessed the truth by himself because he was drunk. I know he won't confess if he was in his right senses."

Yes, I shouldn't feel sad because he broke my trust. I was the fool that trusted a bastard like him.

“I'm sorry for doubting you," I mutter.

“You don't need to be. I've been an asshole and you have the right to doubt me," he said calmly and drew me closer to himself as he planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

Then something crossed my mind. It was him and Annabelle. Back then in London, I want to know if he actually slept with Annabelle

But before I could ask him, he spoke up as if he knew what was on my mind.

“I want to clear things with you, I know I should have done it a long time ago… That day you saw Annabelle in my suite back in London. I didn't sleep with her. She was throwing herself to me. I was about sleeping with her but you came then I couldn't. That was the first time I realized that I felt something for you but I kept trying to lie to myself. To tell you the truth,I have never been able to sleep with anyone since I married you."

I stared up at him, surprised. He hasn't slept with anyone. Is he for real?

“You haven't…"

“Yes Constance, all these were one of the reasons that made me realize that I actually love you more than I think."

I smiled and hugged him. He hasn't slept with any woman. I couldn't contain my happiness.