Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Kate was overwhelmed with emotion. She was frightened, embarrassed, shocked, but she was also delighted. And with all these emotions that she was swamped with, she could not choose which one should win over her. All she could do was sob in Nick's embrace.

"Kate…? Are you mad at me?" Nick asked softly.

Kate shook her head, but as she was wrapped around his arms, Nick was not sure if she nodded yes or if she answered what he was hoping she did, a no. He moved back to get a good look at her face.

It was dark with only a night lamp on her bedside table turned on to brighten the room. Kate had her eyes closed, tears still evident as her eyelashes were glistening and her hands covered her mouth to muffle it.

"Can you tell me again? Are you mad at me?" Nick asked again with his gaze fixed only on her face. He was scared to know her answer, yet he still had to.

And she replied in the very same manner.

Nick embraced Kate again when he confirmed her answer to his question. As of now, that was the most crucial fear he had because there are many more. "Is it okay if I hold you like this?"

Nick was anxious if Kate was feeling any discomfort in his presence. Her hands were in her face, it appeared like Nick was caging her, but she was so scared to protest.

"Do you want me to go?" Nick asked with a pain in his heart. He did not want to leave her until she felt better, but he was also afraid he was not welcomed because of what had just happened between them.

"No," Kate grabbed his clothes when Nick tried to get up. Her voice was weak, but her hold was firm. But she also let go as soon as Nick stayed in his spot, embracing her.

They stayed there, quiet, Kate in Nick's arms.

Minutes passed. Ten. Twenty. Thirty.

Nick stayed without any of them saying anything. Kate is in Nick's arms, snuggling her warmly.

Kate was confused about her own emotions. She was happy to hear Nick confess his feeling that he likes her. No, he even said he loved her as for the reason why he did what he did. But she was also scared about many things.

They did something they were not supposed to do.

But she can also tell it was consensual.

Nick did not seduce or force her.

She did not push him away or ask him to stop either.

He wanted to leave, but Kate did not want him to.

She was content to know he was embracing her with warmth, unlike his usual behavior towards her, cold and distant. Now, he feels too good to be around.

After about an hour, Kate found her voice and courage to speak.

"Nick...?" she softly called out.

"Hmmmm?" Nick answered, sniffing her hair.

"I'm scared..." Kate whispered.

"About what?" Nick wanted to know specifically so he could explain things with the best of his knowledge to comfort her.

"Everything...?" she answered with uncertainty.

"About mom finding out?" Nick guessed.

"That is one and the first of them all," Kate sighed.

"I can tell her now and take all the blame, but she may not understand if we take her by surprise," Nick explained. "If it is up to me to decide, I want to keep this between us for now until she allows you to be in a relationship, and then I can ask her blessings to be with you. But that is if you want me to," Nick was troubled to think Kate does not feel the same way, but with how she held his clothes to stop him from going away, it also assures him, she likes him, too.

Kate buried her face on Nick's firm chest. She can hear the clear sound of his heart beating. She swallowed her spit to moisten her throat before she tightly shut her eyes as she confessed.

"You are one of the reasons I declined the adoption," Kate felt her heartbeat race. She is confessing!

"What do you mean?" Nick was ecstatic to hear her words, but as they were still unclear, he wanted to be sure of her answer.

"I mean, I don't want you to be my brother because... hmmm... because," Kate could not bring the words out of her mouth though they were already at the tip of her tongue.

Nick moved back a little to see her face as she said those words he wanted to hear. But she had her eyes shut, and lips were slightly trembling.

"Because...?" he asked when he could no longer wait.

"I think I... I think I like you but not in a sibling kind of way..." Kate pulled Nick back to bury her face in his chest again. She did not want to show him her burning face in great embarrassment. Then she started justifying her emotions towards him.

"It's because you are such a good son to your dad and even to my mom."

Nick did not say anything, but he was smiling as he listened to Kate's every word.

"You are smart and mysterious with your distant personality."

Nick felt she still had a lot of words to say, so he kept his silence. And he was right. Kate's words flowed out. Only a little slow. Like she was careful her words might rumble and confuse Nick.

"I admire you, I respect you, but I am also scared of you."

Nick panicked when he heard her say she was scared of Nick. Fear has many kinds, and he was worried it was something serious.

"Scared of me? Why..?" Nick softly asked. He was coaxing Kate to give him her honest answer so he could clear his side on her.

"I am scared to disappoint you. But I feel like I always end up doing the exact opposite of your expectations of me if there is any," Kate spoke slowly.

"No, you're not. As I told you earlier, I was distant because I was trying to create a safe barrier between you and me. I am afraid if I get too close, what happened today could have happened a long time ago," Nick assured her.

"I feel too weak," Kate confessed. "When Andrew came to help me study, I was not scared to be alone with him knowing this is where I live. I thought he would not be too bold to do what he did. But when he started touching me placing, I didn't know why I felt weak to resist. Was it the same with what happened to us?"

"Do you feel the same way for Andrew as you feel for me?" Nick calmly asked. Kate is confused, so he has to make her understand as much as he can.

"No! Definitely not!" Kate stiffened as she answered with annoyance. "I thought I liked him as he was sweet to me when we were dating at school with other friends around. But when I realized how he winked at his friends and told them that we did more than him hanging his arm on my shoulder, he was playing me. All those liking him feelings shattered. Now I hate him!" Kate gave a lengthy answer.

Nick snorted. Kate looked up at him with a frown.

"I just am happy you hate him," Nick suppressed his laughter.

"I am happy, too," Kate stated before she joined him in their muffled merry laughter.

They were cautious not to make too much loud, but Kelly was deep asleep as she had to take some meds, which contain some sleeping effect delicately prescribed by her physician so she wouldn't wake up unless a bomb exploded next to her until morning.

"Kidding aside..." Kate inhaled deeply. "What do we do about ourselves?"

"What happened today cannot happen again until we have mom's blessings of us being together, not as siblings, though," Nick drew a deep breath. "Let's forget what happened today, and you stay as usual. I will do the rest," Nick assured Kate.

For Nick, Kate doesn't have to do anything. It was him who had always been distant. He can start to be friendly and get close to Kate to assure Kelly that they are going along well. Nick is hoping to have Kelly's consent if the mother sees that Kate is being cared for, that Kate is comfortable with Nick and can depend on him. That Kelly's trauma against men will not happen to her daughter because Nick is with her, someone she knew and trusted.

But as everything tomorrow brings is uncertain, Nick is also worried they might be different from what he hoped for. He can guess, assume, and prepare for what he thinks might happen, but surprises should also be considered. Fears, excitement, and anticipation make Nick wish for tomorrow to come sooner, yet a part of him wishes it to delay so he can enjoy Kate in his arms, just like right now.