Chapter 19: Chapter 19

C H A P T E R - - - - T H I R T E E N - - - - R E I D A N

Reidan looked down to see their hands, their fingers sliding together naturally like they’d known each other for their whole lives. He felt something flutter in his chest, something light yet powerful, and for a second, he just let himself enjoy it before nausea crashed over him, all at once, making him yank his hand away from hers and get up from the desk entirely.

He bent over to the floor, searching through his pants pocket for his phone to check the time. 11:03. It was later than he thought.

“You should be getting back soon,” Reidan murmured, as gently as he could. He didn’t want to kick her out, but it was important that he maintain boundaries. She couldn’t sleep over, as much as he’d like having her naked body pressed against his for hours on end. He couldn’t afford her to get the wrong idea about them. That was a surefire way to fuck things up, to blur the boundaries that he’d worked so hard to build and maintain.

But if Selena was offended, he couldn’t detect it in her face as she nodded and straightened up on the desk, groaning a little as she placed her feet back down on the ground for the first time in over an hour. “Jesus Christ, you really gave me a workout there,” she said with a lazy grin, gradually getting to her feet and stretching down to her toes before she began walking toward the door.

“Wait,” Reidan said before she could reach her destination, putting a hand on her shoulder to keep her in place, even though she immediately obeyed his command. God, that was hot. It was fucking enticing, having her do exactly what he said, exactly when he said it. She was such a Sub.

“Yes?” Selena looked up at him with wide, curious eyes. She looked so beautiful, all fucked-out with her cheeks still pink and her hair a messy disaster on top of her head and shoulders. It was so tempting to reach out and grab her, pull her into a kiss that she’d never forget.

But no. He couldn’t do that. Boundaries. The boundaries came first. They were the real Dom around here.

“I just want to say that I really enjoyed this,” Reidan said, brushing some of the random strands of hair away from Selena’s face. “I want to do it again. As soon as possible.”

Selena smiled, biting down on her bottom lip bashfully as she nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Good.” Reidan reached behind her to pat her on the ass. “Now get on home. You need to get your rest so we can get back to work tomorrow.”

“Right,” Selena said with a short nod, smiling at him before she turned to walk out the door, disappearing on the other side of the playroom wall. She was probably getting back into her clothes before heading out.

Reidan sighed deeply and let his body sag against the desk before he pulled his pants up, off the ground, and got back into his clothes so he wouldn’t have to face his naked body. He couldn’t stand looking at himself when he was alone. He always needed to have someone else—to have a beautiful submissive woman look at him and affirm that he was okay, that he wasn’t ugly or evil or bad. That his body wasn’t an instrument of darkness.

Selena had done a great job of it tonight—accepting all of him without judgment. But there was some part of Reidan that felt shaken-up, maybe even a little bit afraid. It took him a few minutes before he could put his finger on it, and then it hit him. She’d been a little too good at it. It was the best session he’d ever had in his life, and it was the first time she’d ever acted as a Sub. What would she be like when they had more practice together? How could he ever give her up if she was this addictive, this early?

“Get it together, man,” Reidan mumbled under his breath, rubbing his face to try to get his mind back on track. He couldn’t afford to freak out about this; to already be worried about losing her even after fucking her just once. One day, of course, this would end. It had to. It always did for Reidan. He was going to have to be prepared for that, whenever it happened. He couldn’t let himself get attached too soon.

But still, he had no way of stopping himself from aching for her, longing for her touch as though he hadn’t seen her in weeks, even though it had been mere minutes since she’d left. Already, his body felt like it needed hers to survive, needed her touch to live.

“I’m fucked,” he muttered out loud, grabbing the whip from the floor to put it back in its resting place. “I’m totally fucked.”