Chapter 11: Chapter 11
C H A P T E R - - - - T E N - - - - S E L E N A
By the time Selena made another attempt to enter Reidan's penthouse apartment that evening, she was virtually quaking and suffering from a bad attack of the hiccups. She would always experience it when she became really anxious, which was a pain in the ass. She prayed she could conceal all traces of frailty so that no one would ever notice how exposed she truly was.
For the time being, she merely leaned up against the wall in the hallway outside of Reidan's flat, inhaling deeply and holding it for a considerable amount of time until the hiccups subsided. She softly pleaded, "Please God, do not let them come back while we're... doing whatever it is Reidan decides to do to me tonight."
She had a deep-seated awareness that her anxiety was not merely being caused by the playroom. Going over all of Giovanni's previous business transactions to assist Reidan catch up with the present situation, they had a lot more productive day at work. However, their interactions had been strange.
She was surprised by several things, including the fact that Reidan never once mentioned their new relationship, the playroom, the contract, or anything else associated with it. It knocked her off-balance and left her feeling as though she didn't know what to say or do—other than to make clear that she wasn't going to break the deal she had just made the previous evening.
However, it went beyond that. Reidan came out as being so tense and anxious that it affected her mood and gave her the impression that she didn't know where they stood. Selena remembered Reidan's face of shock whenever she described the specifics of a drug trade or an anticipated murder case. "He's surprised I know so much about the industry," she thought. And he's afraid. terrified of me.
The mere thought of that made her feel a little nauseous. Why would she make him afraid? Selena had a chaotic existence. Not after her father's most recent heart attack could she manage anything. But maybe that's the reason he's so afraid of me, Selena thought, feeling a few sweatdrops form along her forehead as the thought struck in. Nothing is lost on my end. I could give up this life in an instant, go to the police or even the federal government, and receive money for betraying the Romanos by getting a beautiful, new, attractive little life in Witness Protection.
It wasn't as if she had never thought about it before. She wasn't really a moron after all. But she refrained from taking it too seriously because she feared retaliation from the Romanos. She didn't want to murder anyone or put her father in danger. Selena sighed and fell back against the wall.
"I was so dumb for getting into this mess in the first place."
Perhaps I should simply go. Tonight. I no longer have a justification for remaining loyal to them because Giovanni has left. The Romanos, the federal government, or anybody else shouldn't be able to find us, therefore I should just leave the nation with my dad and the money I've accumulated.
She couldn't manage to pull herself away from the wall and go away, no matter how compelling that defense seemed in her thoughts. Because of what she knew, Reidan may have actually considered killing her; nonetheless, she was unable to exercise good judgment and depart. Why the heck am I so flawed? Selena pondered while cradling her head in her hands and taking several deep breaths to clear her throat. I'm a clever girl. I'm self-reliant. Do you think I'm strong? Why can't I just act morally and put this all behind me?
Unidentified noises coming from behind Selena's head and coming from the opposite side of the wall abruptly snapped her out of her reverie. Her pulse began to race as she concentrated so intently that she could make out the heavy footsteps of a guy and the hazy clinking of glass. Reidan. Considering that she had just spent the previous five minutes in an existential crisis, she was definitely already running late.
Fuck, it'll be so strange if he comes out here and sees me. I ought to go. While I still have the chance, I should simply flee. She tried to force herself to move, but she was unable to do so. It appeared as though her body was revolting, refusing to do what her brain was frantically yelling at it to do. Why the hell can't I move? Why am I not escaping? What the hell am I doing wrong?
But when she leaned against the wall and listened to the movement on the other side, she quickly realized the solution. Reidan was there. Reidan was the one with the most motive to have her killed. Reidan, the man who, for all she knew, thought his father was still being fucked by her when he passed away. Reidan, the man she didn't really know.
She was forced to fuck him at least once before leaving. She had to see this through because, if she didn't, she would live to regret it. She needed to know if it was even possible for her to allow someone else be in charge once in a while. She needed to understand whether she was able to let go and experience genuine release. Now was the time or never.
Right, she said to herself, sitting up straight and wiping the sweat from her brow. To make sure she hadn't wiped all of her makeup off while exercising, she dug into her handbag for a small mirror and opened it.
" I'll just use this once. whenever possible. Or a few times, and then when the time is perfect, I'll flee," she said in a low voice to herself as she snapped the compact shut and tucked it back into her handbag.
Stopping her own punishment was time-consuming. For no other reason than to test her capacity, she had allowed herself to enter the playroom and let go. Later, when she had time to consider the effects, she would worry. She would at least permit herself to experience life for tonight.
Despite the fact that she had to be several minutes late at this point, she strolled back up to Reidan's door and knocked softly. Selena frantically scraped at her hands during a few protracted periods of quiet in order to divert her attention from the agonizing wait for Reidan to show up. Thankfully, the door then opened to show a servant who was well-dressed in a second black suit.
The servant addressed her with a friendly smile and "Mistress Selena. Could I have your coat? ”
Selena said, shrugging off her jacket and uncomfortably handed it to the steward. "Is Reidan, uh, Reidan..."
"Master Reidan is already waiting for you. If you can recall how to get there, you can go to the designated room."
She most certainly did. For the sake of the maid, Selena nodded and faked a grin before taking a long breath to center herself and walking into the playroom. Selena moved carefully toward the shadowy chamber where Reidan was waiting for her as she entered the corridor that led behind the dining room area.
I can handle this. I can handle this. I'm a fierce, strong bitch. I understand. I've got this, dude. Oh my God, I'm so anxious. My tummy aches. Goddamn, I'm so scared, fuck!
When Selena at last reached the door and placed her hand on the chilly handle, she was about to turn it when she suddenly recalled an important contract clause. the attire. She had to remain undressed in the playroom at all times, leaving her clothing outside. She yanked her hand away from the door as she said, "Jesus," feeling dizzy.
She considered running away once more, going as far as she could, to a place where she wouldn't have to be courageous. Her heart hammered incessantly in her temples, giving her the sensation that two enormous cymbals were crashing over the sides of her skull all the time. However, despite her brain's repeated attempts to make her legs go outside of the playroom, they always remained stationary. Her body yearned for this. No one could dispute it.
Before squaring her shoulders and reaching for her skirt's zipper, she inhaled deeply and allowed all of the breath escape her body. Selena pulled the zipper down, stepped out of the skirt, folded it neatly, and set it against the wall after checking all around to make sure no servants were waiting to watch her get dressed.
She then unbuttoned her top and removed it from her body, revealing nothing but her bra and underwear. She felt shivers all over her body and a cold go up and down her spine when she heard movement coming from the playroom. He's expecting me, fuck. This is actually taking place. As she encircled her body with her arms to insulate herself from the chilly air surrounding her, she thought, "This is fucking real."
Her fingers shook as she reached behind her body to open the bra clasp as she mumbled, "Shit," as she felt her heart race in her chest. Her nipples quickly hardened due to the frigid air of the penthouse as she paused for a long while before letting her bra fall from her chest. Selena slipped out of her panties, stooping down to gather all of her garments into a tidy pile, thinking, "If I'm going to do this, I might as well go all the way."
Every cell in her skin began to tingle with hyperawareness as her entire body alternately felt cold and hot. Before reaching down to re-grab the doorknob and squeezing her fist around it before turning it and giving the door a little shove, Selena moistened her lips and swallowed forcefully to clear her throat as much as possible.
She pulled her hair out of its ponytail at the last second, merely on instinct, and entered before she had time to second-guess herself any more. As she closed the door behind her, she tossed her hair, letting it fall about her shoulders. Finally, she turned to face the man who was holding the contract while he stood at the desk in the middle of the room. He didn't seem content.
Reidan replied, "You're late," with a stern voice and an inscrutable, icy look. Selena was shocked to realize how open and helpless she felt because he didn't make an effort to cross the room to touch her. She encircled her body once again with her arms, hiding her exposed breasts from his gaze. Reidan replied, his face becoming a bit paler and his eyes sparkling with something Selena couldn't place, "No, don't do that. Allow me to see you."