Chapter 16: Chapter 16

2012

LUCAS'S POV

“STOP. PLEASE STOP. I'M BEGGING YOU. HELP ME”

I jerked away from the bed as the sound resonated across the house. I could hear footsteps outside my door and then they faded away but the cries for help didn’t. I sat back on the bed and listened to every cry she made. That was my punishment, my punishment for being a coward, my punishment for being a scared motherfucker.

My punishment for cherishing my own life over hers. This wasn’t the first and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. At first, I would cry till I couldn’t breathe, at first, I fought it, I fought for her but the more I did, the more I realized how coward I was. Instead of helping, I would rather hide away in my room, and force the pillow over my head till I almost suffocate.

The cries decreased and all that was left were whimpers and the sound of skin slapping against each other. As I closed my eyes, my subconscious self tried to imagine it, and immediately, I felt the bile rise up to my throat and I ran into the bathroom to vomit the little dinner I had a few hours ago. I washed my face and my mouth after I was done and sat in the bathtub, glad the sound didn’t reach this part of the house.

I quickly walked out of the bathroom, picked up my phone from the bed, and walked outside to the balcony, it was safer there and more silent. That spot has become my refuge these days. It has saved me from ending up in a psychiatric hospital from everything I’ve been witnessing. I leaned against the railings and cold tears dropped from my eyes.

I didn’t know if it was a result of what was going on in my life or how much my throat hurt from throwing up so much but I quickly cleaned the tears away. Tears won’t help, they never did. All my life, it has always been this way but these days, it was getting worst and worst. Anyone would think my family is perfect but when you get closer to us, you realize how twisted and fucked up we were. I’m even scared these days to refer to myself as an Anderson, why bare a name that brings you shame in secret?

Therapy wasn’t an option for me. Talking about it wouldn’t help. Telling someone would only give me more problems so I deal with them in the best way that I can.

I moved back to sit against a wall, my back resting on it while I placed one of my arms on my raised leg. I pressed the small button beside my phone and what opened up was the last message I’d sent to Augustus. I shook my head remembering how crazy she was.

Even though it was the soda event that made me talk to her, I’d always looked at her in school. One thing that attracted me to her was her crazy laugh that usually echoed across the room and the sarcastic words she threw at Lyla during lunch.

“Hello,” A voice whispered, startling me. I looked around but stopped to check and see it was coming from my phone. I’d mistakenly dialed her number.

Shit! Shit!

“Hello, you do know I saved your number and this can’t be a prank call right?” She asked. I couldn’t say a word as a smile graced my lips.

“Luke Anderson, HELLO!” She raised her voice this time and I heard her mumbling before she uttered sorry to the person which was probably her twin.

“Just talk to me, Pearl,” I begged. I was at my lowest, I was going crazy. I am crazy.

“Are you okay?” She asked silently. “This better be worth it, Lucas. Don’t mess with me right now cos I’m in the bathroom instead of studying for the stupid test I have tomorrow. If I fail that test before my mom kills me, I’ll hunt down your ass, Lucas,” She threatened.

“That’s it. Just say anything,” I told her.

“Did something happen?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I replied.

“It does matter. You want me to talk right? The best way to communicate is for you to reply when I talk. I can’t talk alone unless I’m crazy,”

“You’re crazy,” I affirmed her suspicion and I could imagine her rolling her eyes.

“You’re just wasting my time, I need to study,” She groaned.

“Even if you study, you’ll still fail the test, Augustus. You fail every time and I don’t know if you’re doing it on purpose or not,”

“You talk too much for someone who doesn’t want to talk,” She fired back. “And I don’t fail on purpose. I do try my best but I guess it’s never enough,”

“Maybe you’ve been doing it wrongly,”

“Tell me more, Isaac Newton,”

“What test do you have tomorrow?” I asked, hoping I could help her out.

“Science,” She grumbled.

“What part will the test come from?” I asked.

“Why?”

“Because I want to help out,”

There was silence from the other end of the line. “Am I supposed to laugh? Are you making a joke?” She asked. “You’re Lucas Anderson. You’re a bad boy, a dullard extraordinaire, trouble in a body and the chances of you graduating are thinner than the strap of my bra,”

She was right. I was Lucas Anderson. I’ve failed in all aspects of life except for showing people the other side of me and I don’t know why I’m not hesitating to show her the real me.

“You’re right. I forgot for a minute. Can I see it though?” I asked.

“See what?”

“The strap of your bra,”

“You fucking pervert,” She shrieked and I laughed.

“You mentioned it first, remember,”

“Irrespective of if I mention it or not, you’re not supposed to talk about it so casually like that,” She cautioned.

“Goodnight Pearl, get some sleep,”

“NO, I’ll need to study,”

“You’ll still fail again, say Hi to your sister”

She hissed. “I hate you,”

Angrily, she ended the call while I could only smile as I looked up to watch the stars