Chapter 18: Chapter 18

WHEN SHE made sure that Jeremy was fast asleep, Esmeralda left. The surrounding was quiet, and the lights were off except for the lamp on her hand. She carefully walked toward the room near the living room. She noticed a light coming out from it. That meant someone in there was still awake.

She knocked on the door. A moment later, Richard opened it.

“Did I wake you up?” she asked him.

“No. I was just about to sleep.”

“Can we talk?”

He opened the door wide. “Sure.”

She went inside his room, closed the door, and folded her arms. She leaned on the door and watched him. “Have a seat.” And he motioned his bed.

“It’s all right. I won’t be staying long, anyway. I just want to ask to stop promising impossible things to my brother.”

He sat on the side of the bed. “What impossible things?”

“That you’ll teach him surfing.”

“If you worry that I might not return, don’t worry because I will keep my promise. I will be back. I’ll teach your brother.”

“Jeremy is sick, and he does not need exhausting activities.”

"Esmeralda, just because he had leukemia does not mean he can't surf. I know someone who has leukemia, but he enjoys surfing and other activities. Jeremy is young. Let him enjoy life."

"My brother is still young. And he's not like any other kids out there who are healthy. He had no time for that YOLO thing you are talking about. I won't let him do things that would risk his life. You're saying that because you are not paying if something happens to my brother. You are not paying for his medical treatment." You’re not marrying someone you’re not in love with just to make sure that your only remaining family member will survive.

He motioned his hands. “Have you ever think that he can use his dreams as an inspiration to get better?”

“He could not wait to get better. He wanted to learn just like you promised. And he wa thinking that he won’t get better, so he wanted to do everything now.”

And that was just painful to Esmeralda.

He stood up. “Why won’t you let him enjoy his life?”

She narrowed her eyes and poked Richard's chest. It was like he's telling her that she brought up her brother wrong. "I did not sacrifice a lot of things just to make sure Jeremy lives longer. What's temporary happiness for if his illness gets worse? If you want to put your life in danger, go ahead. Leave my brother alone. Maybe you don't have a brother or a loved one to look after. That's why you're like that."

He looked bewildered. "I have a brother, and I'll do everything to protect him. But you can't just fear for your safety forever that you forgot how to enjoy your life. Have you done something for yourself at least once? Have you done something that made you happy?"

“Of course. I’m happy that my brother is receiving medical treatment…”

Richard clacked his tongue. “We’re not talking about responsibility here. It’s not about what you can do for other people. What did you for yourself that made you happy?”

Esmeralda gaped. “Um…”

She could not think of anything. May it be a new pair of shoes or clothes or watching movies, she thought of her brother's sake first. If she had new stuff, that was because Aiden wanted it. And Alexa bought those things for her to suit her as Aiden's future wife.

“What have you done that seemed wrong in the eye of other people, that could give scary results, that was against the rules but made you happy?”

"N-nothing," she replied in a low voice. She always abided by the rules. "I always stick to what's right. And I only wanted to get what I need. No one should be in danger. No one should get hurt."

His eyes smiled. “You are a good girl then.”

“I have to think what’s best for my brother. He’s my only family. If I put myself first without thinking about his sake, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, to him.”

Richard’s lips curved into a lopsided smile. “Your sacrifices?”

Esmeralda wanted to feel insulted because she hated how he poured his words. It was as if he was underestimating everything she had done for her brother while he had no idea about her life and what she had to go through. Maybe he had not made any sacrifice for other people.

“You did not have to be sarcastic. You are rich. Maybe you did not know the feeling of having nothing. I have no time to enjoy and think of myself.”