Chapter 54: Chapter 54

◇ KEL ◇

Before I could leave him alone outside, to my shock, Miles just let himself into my bedroom. No questions asked.

I locked the door, sighing at the guy sitting on my bed now, the gun just resting beside his thigh. My small cat-shaped lamp drew shadows on his angular face. I wasn't the least bit scared of him, though.

It left me more confounded, which might be why the silly tears kept rushing out. I sniffled and glanced at the clock on the nightstand.

1:29? So much for quick chats. I could've re-read through two Pharmacology chapters by now. I wiped my damp cheeks. Hopefully, Jill and my mom were too asleep to overhear anything.

"It's not why I..."

"I won't tell anyone else. Not even Mom or Jill," I said while ignoring the heavy feeling in my chest threatening to impede my breathing. The darn tears just went on. Staying emotionally unattached to our conversation? Just impossible at this point.  "Forget about everything. Stop asking about Niccolo. Got it. You can leave now."

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Take your stupid gun and leave."

"Mykaela—"

"I get it! Okay? You want me out of the equation, so they won't think of using me to blackmail you." I shut my eyes till I could only see black. More tears just kept coming and burning my eyes. Now I couldn't breathe properly because my chest just ached so bad.  "Just don't shut me out. It's depressing.  It hurts when you just won't talk to me."

"Not shutting you out.  I'm trying to protect you."

"But I can't see you, call you, talk to you?" I smothered another sob with my fist, thankful that the lights were off so he wouldn't see me bawling my eyes out.  "You want me to pretend you don't exist?"  As I stood by the bed, I waited for him to say something when shrill rings distracted us both.

It instantly broke off the conversation.  Miles got up quick when he saw my phone on the nightstand.

Darn it. It might be Enzo.

I had been trying to reach him all day. His contacts outside of Europe might have new updates about Niccolo's body stuck in the custody of the Serbian authorities.  It had been weeks;  by now, the medical examiners and investigators should be done inspecting Niccolo's injuries postmortem.

I grabbed my phone from Miles' grip. He scowled when Lorenzio's photo remained on the screen.  I walked away and took the call. Enzo must have important news.

"Bellezza, you home?"

"Yeah. You? All good?"

"On the plane.  Can't talk right now.  I just met with my contact. Pick you up on Monday. We'll talk," Enzo said. His tone over the phone sounded serious.

I wasn't quite used to it, but at least he gave me a heads-up.  "Okay. Thanks. Text me what time. I'm at my parents'." I pressed the phone to my ear and found myself retreating to the pitch-dark bathroom, just to make sure Miles couldn't hear Enzo's voice.

"Tell your mom sorry I couldn't make it. So, Monday. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks―"  I frowned at the beep. I checked the screen. The guy just hung up.

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking to him?" Out of nowhere, Miles switched the lights on and grabbed my phone. He hurled it onto the wall.

The thing fell on the floor in pieces.

My mouth hung wide open at the sight. I just froze. My eyes blinked at the shocking mess before me, my thoughts merely drawing a blank.

My heartbeat thumped in my ears as I rushed to retrieve the shattered phone parts on the cold tiles.  Did he just break my phone?   "What the heck is your problem?"

"He is my fucking problem."

"We're just friends. He's just trying to help," I stressed before I pushed past him and headed for the door.

"Yeah. Sure." Of course Miles went after me.

I shoved him away when he tried to grab my arm.  "Just go. Leave me alone."

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No use explaining to him.

He'd just blame me for everything again.

Just let it all go. Let him think whatever he wanted to think. Like always. Of course a part of me still wanted to work it out with him―but he just wouldn't believe me whenever I tried to explain things. And I was getting sick and tired of feeling this anxious and worthless.

Despite my worries and nagging conscience, I opted to stay alone in the bathroom while he sat on my bed outside.  Besides, I needed a moment to restrain the tidal wave of emotions coursing through my thoughts right now.

Crying in front of him again just wasn't an option. My shame wouldn't let me beg any more.

My timid, confused pace led me to the other side of the bathroom. I stepped into the shower to mellow out, relax my stiff muscles, and be alone for a while.

Distracted by his oddly possessive behavior, I took off my clothes and turned on the hot water.

Precious memories we made in Italy occupied my thoughts next.  As if my frantic state wasn't enough torture.

I just stood under the steamy showerhead, not caring for the time, the gushing water almost washing away the tightening sensation in my chest.  Then someone opened the door and snuck inside the bathroom.

Miles...

Totally.

Naked.

He joined me in the shower, the profound silence punctuating the gush of warm water as he stood beside me in the dimness.

Holy freakin' cow.

In what alternate universe was I stuck in right now?   I drew back until my head hit the wall.

But Miles only stepped closer. His darkened gaze stirred something deep within me.  Was he going to bring up our argument again? Argue with me about Enzo? And everything else that complicated our relationship?

Ugh. What relationship?  He never even asked me out.

Now I just felt drained. Of energy. Patience. Will. Everything.

"I'm done arguing. Get out."

"Sorry."

I flinched when his heavy arms wrapped around me. The mild scent of his smooth skin and his caresses on my hair felt all too familiar.  Almost...painful.  "Why did you lie to Mommy?"

"I didn't." Miles hugged me close, his weight and warmth quite comforting against my cold, damp skin.  "I'm trying to say sorry. Stop pushing me away."

"I don't know what you want from me!"

"Va bene...cerca di calmarti."

"You're just here to say goodbye; so just leave."  My throat now felt scorched.  Hot tears ran down my cheeks.

"A volte sei così bella che mi fai rimanere senza parole." He brushed his lips onto my forehead and put his arms around me again.  "Non piangere."

"I'm just sick of all the lies. Secrets..."  My voice faltered as the worthless tears came rushing out.  I wanted to push him away, but my arms felt useless.  "Just leave. Don't come see me again. Don't tell me you miss me and then just disappear―"

Miles grabbed my wrists and pinned me against the wall. My back and head thudded onto the tiles.

I winced. The startlingly cold impact made my eyes stay shut. My muted sobs halted when he kissed my lips, tasting my mouth while pinning me against the wall, my entire body tensing up in his grip.

"Stop talking to Lorenzio." He bit my neck just as his hand clamped over my mouth to stifle my moan.  "That's all I ask."

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