Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

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Lola's POV

Words failed me. My feelings eluded me, I felt... Numb?

I can't bring myself to explain what I felt at that point.

I mean, put yourself in my shoes, imagine your whole life was a lie, some unresolved family feud, some tragic tale?! What a twisted story!

I couldn't cry, I couldn't speak, I just stared back at the narrator, the mum I had known, all my life. This silence didn't apply to me only though, we all just sat there, letting it sink in. Travis' outburst was the first thing I heard after the silence had stretched for a while.

"So you're telling me that I'm the result of an escapade you had with your first love? I'm not actually a Gregg? At all?" The sardonic chuckle that came after that had my heart aching for him despite my plight. At least, I was part of the family, whether they were my biological parents or not.

I finally gathered the courage to look around the room, I had been staring at my toes all morning.

Mum was crouched in a corner, seated on the floor. Her husband just sat there staring into space, his lips quivering. Gerald, my supposed father was busy wiping the tears that had managed to drop. Ima held on to her man, as he wept on her shoulder. Laila had her head on Grey's shoulder as well, his eyes were blood shot, so were hers as he caressed her hair slowly. I fought the urge to flee, as usual. I was tired of running away from everything, but I wasn't in anyway prepared to hear any of this. The facts were hard to grasp, in spite of how glaring they were, how on earth did my life turn into one of those cliche soap operas?! I desperately wished it was all some big prank, I honestly wanted it to be so.

I needed more answers, I had more questions, but we were all in our feelings, no words could be said.

My eyes met Laila's, she looked shocked, then her eyes flashed a glint a worry and anxiety. She did not get the reaction she was expecting.

Shocker huh?

I didn't blink, I said nothing, I just got up and headed straight for the stairs. I felt all eyes on me as I walked on, without looking back. Definitely not the reaction they were expecting.

I made my way to the bedroom, it was neat, my stuff were still in place. I sat on the soft mattress I had missed for months. Not that the one at Tana's wasn't comfortable or anything, but there's this sweet feeling that comes with using something that rightly belongs to you.

I took out my phone from my back pocket, turned on some good music and headed to the bathroom. It smelled like it was just cleaned up, I guessed they actually awaited my arrival, not expecting the unusual turn of events.

When I finished up, I donned a puce mandarin top with a pair of black jeans. I sat on my bed, still surfing through the net, searching for a suitable design for a client who had sent me her measurements sometime earlier. I heard a faint knock and urged whoever it was to come in. It was none other than my sister.

"Lola..."  She drawled, I stared at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Say something" She whined, she looked like she was going to cry any minute now,but what exactly did she expect me to say?

"What do you want me to say?" I gave her a bored look.

"Titilola, I can't believe you just heard all that and you're not going to give me a reaction" Laila waved her hands frantically, came over and shook me by my shoulders urging me to say something repeatedly and that only irked me even more.

"What is it?!!!" I yelled, she flinched.

Good.

"What do you want me to say?"

"You want me to yell, the hell, I'm yelling. You want me to go bonkers?! Yes, yes I will." I flipped, and kicked everything in sight out of my way. I knew I was making a mess but all that didn't matter at this point, I just needed to vent it all out.

I was a hot mess by the time I finished. A sweaty, sticky, disheveled piece of shit.

Forgive me for cussing.

Distraught, pained and distressed, I cried, I finally let the dams open.

I wailed, the deep anguish in my chest, came out through the howling sound. Laila hugged me, but I could barely feel it, I was in another place entirely. I was stuck in my head, picturing the events that occurred all those years ago.

The door came open and everyone present in the house came in. Surely, they had heard all the commotion and came running to check it out.

"What is going on here?"

"What is the meaning of this?"

Mum and dad or should I say aunty and uncle said simultaneously.

"Crystal" came Gerald's voice softly. "You don't have to do all this"

"Don't call me that!" I snapped . "My name is Titilola, not Crystal" I gritted.

His eyes widened in shock, then he turned to his brother.

"You stopped calling her Crystal? Why?"

"Gerald, stop asking stupid questions" he retorted without batting an eyelid,then he sped out of the room, not without a furtive glance at me which disappeared as soon as it manifested and with Gerald hot on his trail.

"Oh, here we go again"  mum muttered with an exasperated sigh.

More and more angry yells followed, I couldn't help but feel I was at fault for it.

Mum turned to me, I expected an angry glare but her gaze softened as she saw my distraught state. She spread her arms out, beckoning both of us. Laila and I shared a look, a look that spoke what thousands of words couldn't. We rushed into mum's embrace without delay, we held onto her tightly and so did she, crying as expected. I was a weeping mess, so were they. That comfort was all I needed at that point, mum loved us, we knew it.

I felt awful for everything she really had to go through, I thought I got the full picture before but no I wasn't even close. She had gone through hell, and she still stayed. I'd never been in love but I could not imagine giving up the love of my life, only to be entangled in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. How unfortunate could one be?

We stayed in that position for a while until she pulled away, planting soft kisses on both of our foreheads and whispering the words...

"It's going to be alright" I managed a nod, not exactly believing what she said at the time. I wiped her tears with the back of my palm and she gave me a small smile before leaving the room.

Laila sat on the floor, her back leaning on my bed, staring into space. I did the same thing sitting next to her and basking in what I would call the comforting silence.

Silence, that was all I had been hearing all day. Unasked questions, evaded conversations, thoughts whirling in all our minds.

Out of nowhere, a hand reached out to mine. It was Laila, I pulled away, avoiding her confused gaze.

"How long have you known?"  I questioned with a bit of an edge to my tone. I felt stupid for being left in the dark, about things that concerned me greatly. She was hesitant.

"Lola... I... It's.." She stuttered. She clamped her mouth shut when she could not come up with a reasonable answer.

"Answer me, Tolani" I muttered coldly.

She sighed in defeat, her eyes settling on anything but me.

"A while now. Listen, I wanted to tell you but, I just didn't want to hurt you like that"

"Wait o, does it look like I'm over the moon right now?"  I asked sarcastically.

"Lola..." she groaned, that did not do anything to reduce my infuriation. If anything, that groan fueled it even more.

"Leave please"  I mumbled, heading to the door, I pulled it open and gestured for her to go out.

She sat there, mouth agape, shock registered on her pretty face.

"Lola, you're asking me to leave?"  She rhetorically asked in such a dramatic way, I almost rolled my eyes. But I was way too angered for that, I simply looked away, my hand still held out. She looked hurt, really hurt but I couldn't care at the moment, I needed some time to myself, to clear my head.

She gulped, nodding slowly, she picked herself up from the floor and walked past me without another glance. I sighed heavily as I shut the door behind me. Tucking myself under the covers, I picked up my phone and found out it was noon already. Half of the day had gone by before I knew it, I groaned in discomfort as I felt a headache coming on, all the food in my system must have been drained out of me after the series of emotionally grueling encounters. I was parched but stepping out of the bedroom was not looking like a delightful idea, I just wasn't in a place to speak to anyone at all.

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Knock knock

I groggily made my way to the door, inwardly yelling at whoever had the guts to wake me up from my peaceful slumber. I turned the knob only to face one of the many reasons why I was in a sour mood.

"What do you want?" I questioned, all traces of sleep gone in a snap.

"Can I please come in?" She asked quietly and when I didn't budge, her eyes looked up at me pleadingly.

"Please" she urged and with a groan, I nodded and gave way for her to step in. She was about taking a seat on my bed when I snapped my finger in her direction.

"Couch, please." I gestured without sparing her a glance. She meekly did as she was told while I settled on my bed, watching her every move. She was nervous, I could tell,from the way her fingers twitched to her rapid blinking and the way she kept fondling with her hair, arranging what was already in place.

Typical you...

"Get on with it." I stated, startling her a little bit.

"What?" she looked clueless. I heaved a sigh to calm my nerves.

"You didn't come here to sit in my room and look around like a stranger all day, did you?" I asked, my tone a little on the edge. My patience was running thin with everyone.

"Lola, I'm sorry." She blurted out, finally.

"Sorry for what exactly?" I asked calmly, a tone that surprised me. She sat there utterly speechless. It ticked me of, I advised myself to keep my fire breathing in check, but it seems strong emotions like anger just turned out to be a part of my day.

"Sorry for lying to me? For having a secret affair with someone I supposedly had to marry? Sorry for keeping your pregnancy a secret or is it being a cohort in all these schemes? Tana you knew Tunji was in my life because of the huge debt my dad owes his, but you kept it to yourself, why would you do such a thing? You're supposed to be more than my best friend, my sister from another mister! I'm hurt, disappointed, heartbroken. What's with all of you being so furtive?!" My voice rose a few octaves, the more I spoke. The headache I had managed to get rid of after a few hours of sleep was back with even more force.

"I'm sorry okay! I didn't mean for all of this to happen. Lola please listen to me, I... I didn't mean to betray you, you mean a lot to me and I can't do anything to hurt you on purpose." she cried, the tears gushing down made my firm resolve to ignore her a little shaky. Tana never cries, maybe it was the pregnancy hormones working but I was willing to listen after seeing her tears, they were a rare sight.

"Fine. Speak up, I don't have all day." I gave a harumph and sat back down.

"Thank you." She cleared her throat.

"I lied to you that one time you asked if Tunji and I were in touch, we were, but there wasn't anything going on, I just didn't feel the need to open up on anything so I wouldn't give you any funny ideas" She paused.

"Go on" I urged softly, my curiosity getting the better part of me. She seemed tensed and I didn't want my anger making it worse.

"Then a few days to Laila's wedding, he told me about his intentions, he liked me, I did too, but he said he couldn't be with me because of you"

Okay... What?

She continued, ignoring the look I gave her.

"And when I asked, he just brushed it aside until I heard from you that you two had been pulled into a 'situationship',  I tried to let it go but it was so obvious that you don't feel anything strong for him, I wasn't asking for too much when I asked him to be with me in stead , I kept pestering him until he told me about the issue with your trust fund." She sniffed.

"I really wanted to tell you but he made me promise not to. His father would have his head on a plate if he didn't get you to marry and sign over your trust fund to him. We argued back and forth over the issue and that got us nowhere, as you know, I stopped talking to him for a while until that get together where we tried to iron things out. I-I lied to you about sleeping over at my parents' that night when I drove him home, I took advantage of his drunken state and lucky for me, I got pregnant. I honestly did not see his reaction coming, I thought he'll choose me after this but the rift between us just got much wider" She sobbed.

A wry chuckle eluded my lips before I could stop it. I got up, paced around the room, trying to grasp all that she had said.

"So you're telling me, that you've been having a secret affair with Tunji, fully aware of the fact that he had to marry me for money and in your desperation you, oh good God " I groaned. "You, took advantage of a man, got pregnant in a bid to tie him down and now that he still did not choose to be with you after all that, you're coming clean? This is your last resort, isn't it?". Her silence proved me right.

"So you would have still kept it to yourself if things had worked in your favour?" I asked.

"Lola listen, it's not what you think, please, I was desperate. I wanted to be loved, my family's a mess-"

"-And so is mine" I cut her short. I clasped my palms, with a tight smile on my lips.

"I've heard all I needed to, please use the door"

"Lola please wait, I just-"

"Tana I just need to be alone, I'm mad at you but I'm not cutting you off. There's a lot more going on and this has been the worst day of my life, so please leave me alone so I can get my act together and face the world again"

She nodded slowly and left without another word. I heard the door clamp shut behind me and I let myself sprawl on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

What next?

That question was all that reiterated in my otherwise blank mind. Where was I to go from here? What would I have to do? All these complications and complexities had my head aching real badly. I shut my eyes tightly, and shook my head vigorously in a bid to fight my train of thoughts, an act to probably keep them in check .

My next line of action was not anywhere in sight, I attributed that to hunger. With a firm resolve to fill up my empty stomach and let tomorrow worry for itself, I pushed myself off the bed, trudged out of my bedroom and found my way to the kitchen and filled up my empty tank because at the end of the day...

I cannot come and kill myself.

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