Chapter 72: Chapter 72

I open the door into the living room which is awfully quiet and I enter. With every step I take, my heartbeat increases and I direct my feet into the bedroom first, but I don't see him there. I decided to look in his study room where he had taken me a few times the past weeks. He told me he always come there to read and comfort himself when things don't go his way and he has no one else to talk to or confide in. My heart aches a little, as I approach the rooms where I know he will be. The door is open, so I enter and for a moment I wonder if it is the same library room where we'd been to a few times and had vowed to be each other strength, hope, courage, love and life.

None other words Melinda has uttered at the church is of any importance to me all that matters right now is the words that Rory will say to me because they will be from the man I love and who loves me.

Disaster.

That's the one word that describes the condition that the study room is presently in. I tried taking a step, but my feet kick against an empty bottle and I bend down to pick it up and realise it's a bottle of whisky and as I lift my head I notice two other bottles on the floor close to the window. I fear what might have happened to Rory these past hours. Of a truth whatever he has discovered has hurt him so much it has driven him into drinking again. A little away from the window, on the floor, I notice the shadow dawning around and I place it as Rory my feet begins to move me towards him.

"Rory," I whisper, stepping towards the floor where he sits with his gaze fixed like that of someone who has been hypnotised. "Rory why weren't you at the church?" I do not know where the coolness of voice comes from, but that's how I begin to speak. "Your mom came to church, she said you weren't gonna come." He doesn't look up or replies and so I continue. "She called me a slut and every other mean word she could find." When he doesn't say anything, I say "Rory, please, talk to me."

"Perhaps she's not wrong after all." He harshly and deliberately states and I pause on my track as these cold mean and devastating words leaves his mouth even as he doesn't look at me.

"What?" I ask, breathlessly because his response has taken me by surprise.

"You heard me." He says acidly, finally lifting his head to look at me. His eyes are red, not just from drinking too much, but it also looks like he has been crying the past hours too and his face and expression chaotic like a volcano ready to erupt any moment.

My breath cut in half and I almost collapse on my knees as my legs lose all their strength. "What are you saying? We both know that she's anything but right, you told me that yourself."

"That when I thought we were right."

"Rory," Are my now weak and trembling voice as I walk to him and kneel to touch his shoulder, but he shoves it away in irritation and annoyance.

"Don't touch me ever." He orders, scowling. He glares at me, but deep in those green eyes, I see hurt pain and grief.

Something's sharp and hard slams against my heart and spring of pain shoot over my whole body, consuming me and dragging me into a level of pain and anguish.

I can't help asking. "Why?!" Even though my voice is below audible.

"Because you're what Mom has been warning me about, and I was too stupid to see." He says through his teeth, his hard gaze staring at me in horror and dislike like an alien with two heads.

"I thought you loved me for me, I thought I was enough to keep you satisfied." he sorrowfully says. "To keep you happy."

"Rory, you are!"

"Really? What are those pictures on the table then?" He points, angrily.

My eyes suddenly narrow at the many copies of photos scattered all over the table of the study. I probably had not taken notice of them earlier because my attention was all on Rory, but now I do and can't help bending down to pick up the one that I'm standing close to. And lo and behold there is a picture of Keenan and me in inappropriate positions. His lips are on my neck and his hand intimately wrapped around my hips while my hands are around his neck and my eyes shut as I bite on my lips I narrow my eyes trying to remember when and where.

Two weeks ago, at the women-friendly store, Bethany had asked Keenan and me to help her get her pregnancy prevention pills and aids. My hands grow cold and goosebumps cover my skin and my stomach drop as I flip over the others and they are all of Keenan and me. One was the night Keenan was drunk and had forced me to kiss back and the picture is of me kissing him and him grabbing my butt. Whoever the photographer was, he was out to get me. I find the photos, but I furiously throw them away and turn to the man who didn't know the truth, who has had lies fed to him about me.

"Rory."

"Are you gonna admit it or are you gonna keep lying like you always have."

"Rory, I can explain." I begin only to lose my voice when he throws me a disgusted glare.

Tear threatens to spill, but I blink them back because I know crying is not the solution here.

"Are you gonna explain with more lies? 'Cause, that's all I've been having from you."

"I never lied to you, Rory, I love you," I wish he'd listen to my words and believe them, but I know that's gonna be like the rain falling in the desert.

"If you really love me as you say, what took you into the arms of my best friend then? Why were his hands all over your body in those photos? Why is he kissing you publicly? and why are you kissing back? And what were you doing at a pregnancy prevention clinic if not to hide your dirty little secret from me?!"

In my lack of an answer, he continues.

"Tell me was he better than me then? Did he give you what you wanted? Fuck you good, spoil you like I couldn't? 'Cause apparently the reason you're with him is because he's the better lover." The sorrow in his voice is audible and it doesn't help me feel better till now that he still feels so insecure.

"Is that how low you think of me and yourself?" I whimper and swallow nervously, trying not to look away from him even though right now his eyes are burning mine.

"You don't know how low I've been thinking, Taylor!" He sigh in regret and he shake his head, "everything happened before my eyes, but I was so blind, makes me wonder if I know you at all."

"You know me, Rory! This, everything is a lie to get us apart."

"Did mom also take you to the Keenan family dinner?" I stay silent and he continues. "Because I called John and he said that you are Keenan's girlfriend."

"Yes but.." Before I can speak, he cut me off.

"Enough with the lies." He thunders, getting up angrily and I jump in fear. "Enough with your lies Taylor!" He says, advancing towards me in fury and I stumble on my gown as I try to get as far away from him as I possibly can. Suddenly I feel really vulnerable because deep inside those hatred and fire filled eyes there is no love and if there is, it is underneath everything and I feel weak because he can hurt me and this feeling comes over me and overcomes me and I regret that we are alone. "Mom was right! You are like every one of those slutty, whoring women I've been with. You couldn't possibly love me for me, so you decided to play two sides, you're no different from Ginger!" If my heart is broken, it breaks again as he says this and my gaze blur up with tears. "What am I saying?" he blurts out incredibly, increasing his footsteps towards me. "You're not like Ginger, you're worse than she was, is and ever will be. And heavens! I thought you were innocent," his words pour on me like rain except this rain is acidic to my being and it burns me as it is salted with bitterness. "But on the inside you only wanted to manipulate me, twist my brain you bi..." He clamps his lips together, restraining himself from the mean words he wants to throw at me.

Shattered.

"Go on!" I prude, after having the last part of my heart smashed to the wall. "Why did you stop? Call me the name, call me whatever names you dim fits me even if I'm not that." I yell into his face.

My breath cut when he grabs me roughly by my neck and pulls me to himself. I stare at him and an unpleasant emotion as I perceive danger sets in. Without warning, he takes my lips roughly into his and kisses me savagely and hardly on the lips but I cannot kiss back because I do not feel the love I use to feel when he kissed me so I sob into the kiss for all I feel is his burning hatred and lustful desires. His teeth bite hardly and painfully on my lips and I whimper loudly feeling the taste of blood on my tongue. He is hurting and tormenting me, he knows it and he's not ready to stop and I finally realise instantly that the Rory I loved, the Rory that promised to stand by me, be my shield and protect me and keep me from harm's way is gone. I flatten my hands on his chest and out him off with the last strength I had.

"Stay away from me," I say, as I do not seem to know who the person I'm standing before is anymore.

He clenches his teeth and balls his hand into a tight fist and I swallow hard the lump that grows in my throat. "Get out of my house and get out of my life now." I open my mouth to speak, but he cut me off. "Go now! Before I do something I'll regret. Get out and never come back!"

With that I take to my heels, running as far as my legs can take me out of his house. I run into the streets and much attention turns to me as I hold up my gown and keep running even as I weep and sob. Tears run down my eyes, blurring my vision and I stumble and collapse on the road and I try to get up, but I cannot find my strength anymore. So I lay there, exhausted from much grief ad running that I do not mind whatever is happening around or the little voices going around where I lay. My life begins to vanish in front of my eyes and I begin to lose my sense of reasoning and I bow my head to the ground.

I don't know how long I stay there, but I think don't get up for the next hour and I begin to feel many crowds around me and I feel myself being lifted off the ground and not taking much thought I stay still and the arms take me up like a baby and securely hold on to me and my head fall unto his chest. I relax as I begin to feel the familiar sense and sense of belonging and closeness.

Too weak to open my eyes I say, "Thank you."

"There's no need to thank me, Taylor, what are friends for?"

I could have replied to him, but I sigh and lay my head on his chest instead and slowly I let every other thought fall off from me and sleep securely in his arms even as he keeps walking.