Chapter 46: Chapter 46

Present-day

Taylor's POV.

When I arrived home I fall on the bed, wanting to take a little time to rest before going to meet Rory. A part of me wants to ask Rory over and let him know what my feelings for him are, but I need to figure out who Ginger is and if she still means a lot to him.

He loved her. He could still be in love with her.

"He's been in love before, he gave everything just to see it work with Ginger, even up to nearly losing his own life, but it didn't work out the way he thought it would and he was hurt badly and so now he doesn't want to pursue love or put it first before his work or family."

Keenan's words ring in my head. He risked everything for Ginger, but he won't for me because he doesn't believe in what he feels for me. A part of me fears what would happen if the girl is to show up in his life again. I know it's wrong, but I felt insecure and my heart quivers.

You're not going anywhere with this Taylor.

I take the dress Paris had gotten for me and my eyes lands on its tag $25,889 my eyes widen and my mouth ajar. I knew it was expensive, but I didn't think it will cost this much. My heart stings painfully as I reconsider my decision of meeting Rory. Paris is being genuinely nice and a friend to me and all I'm offering her is betrayal. She deserved better than that, she deserved better than a backstabbing girl for a friend.

I can't even begin to imagine the pain Paris must be feeling knowing that Rory has someone else and loves someone else who isn't her and here I am beings insecure over someone who isn't even mine, to begin with.

This feels so wrong, I'm so torn.

My door opens and Jake enters carrying bags in his hand four shopping bags.

Frustrated, I yell. "Don't you know how to knock?!"

He pauses at the door giving me scrutinizing eyes. "Woah, sis, why so cranky?"

I glare at him and he shrugs his shoulder bringing the bag over to the bed. "I thought red would be better for the date and by the way, Keenan's coming to pick you up at 7:30." He turned and begins to walk away.

"Do you think I'm selfish?" I ask unable to contain the turmoil and judgment that's going on in my brain.

"What makes you say that?"

I sit up and fold my legs, giving him a place to sit on the bed. "Listen, I was just thinking about Paris and how nice she has been towards me, she even got me a dress that cost $25,889. I'm not being fair to her, rather I'm being selfish and ungrateful." I close my eyes and try not to focus on the voice screaming backstabber in my head.

I feel Jakes hand on mine and he squeezes it in reassurance. "You're anything but a selfish person and for what it's worth, I think you're the most selfless person I know. I know Paris is marrying Rory and I know that you do love Rory and my advice is to put yourself first for once and live. I'll rather you regret doing something than regret not doing anything."

"She knows about Rory other woman, but she doesn't know she's me but I know is just a matter of time before she finds out and I'm scared of what she might do to me and you guys.."

"So you want to let Rory go?"

I shake my head mentally more than physically. "No, I don't."

"Good, don't." He gets up and walks to the door. "We met Mycole at the unisex shop while we were out. Paris has invited him for the engagement. Do you think something is going on between those two?"

"Not that I know of."

He closes the door and I pull the bags closer and glance at the ruby coloured dress and the shoes that Jake brought in and I glance at the time, one forty-five p.m.

I pick up my phone and dialled Rory's number. The call is picked almost immediately when it starts ringing.

"I was beginning to think you've changed your mind."

So you were waiting.

"I almost did," I reply in honest with a deep sigh. "Come pick me up? I'll be ready. You know my house right?"

"Who are you asking?"

I should have known he knows everything. "I'm on my way." He replies before the line goes off.

The little time I had, I took a quick shower, changing into a grey oversized sweater and black leggings and put on my shoes and my nude lip gloss and my perfume.

The doorbell goes off and I know who it is and I pick my bag and walk out of my room. I walk into the room and see the three Js already keeping him company.

"So who is Jake?" He asks in confusion.

"I am, how did you know my name?" Jake demands in suspension.

"Taylor told me about the smart computer wizard in her house, and I thought that she had only one brother. Interesting."

His eyes meet mine immediately I come into view and he smiles and a longing look and want spreads across his face. His eyes rake my clothe and although we are not alone, we both can feel the intensity of attraction that circulates the room.

"There she is." Jack announces, "but you already know that."

"Hi, love." He says, winking at me and I lower my head as my cheek goes red.

"Hey."

"Shall we go?"

I nod and he takes my hand we walk away.

"Don't knock my sister up okay? Your money will be on the line."

"Jack!" I shout embarrassed at how careless he says it.

Rory chuckles, "I'll try not to."

Rory told me he had made reservations for us at the park and talks to the manager to make sure it was private for us to be able to be alone. So on our way, we ordered some food and snacks.

We walk in the park and Rory takes my hand in his and sparks goes through my whole body, sending some nuts loosed within me.

If just holding your hand put you on the edge I wonder if he decides to kiss and make out.

"That spot looks good." Rory points to a grassy ground surrounded by huge trees a little ahead of where we are. "Come on."

He increases his pace and I have to cling to his shoulder because his long legs seem to cover more ground than mine.

He pauses and turns his back to me. "Hop on." He doesn't have to ask twice.

We arrive at the spot and he let me down on the grass and turn to face me, his green eyes sparklingly beautiful and pure.

We eat the food we ordered on our way and I watch how neatly he eats his food and my eyes drop to his unusually red lips and like he knows I'm staring he suck the button lips into his mouth. It takes all my willpower to not run crazy and kiss him.

I swallow hard and take a slow unstable breath. "Don't do that," I murmur lowly.

"Why?" His huskily deep voice causes me to shudder greatly.

"You know why," I say rather than snap.

"I love the way you smell." He buries his head into my sweater.

"It's a cheap perfume you wouldn't even buy for your enemy," I reply, regretting it when I say it.

"I love the way you smell." He repeats like he didn't just hear me. "I don't care what perfume you use, I love the way you smell." And kisses my neck.

I try to push him back, but the touch of his tongue flickering at my neck sends the strength flying over. "Roryyyy."

"Yes?" He trails the kiss for my neck to my jaw and then to my lips. His tongue works in my mouth and my finger runs into his hair. His hand slips into my sweater and run over my belly and up to my bra and I pull back.

"I can't do it."

"Why?"

"Because we need to talk."

"Can't it wait for five minutes?"

"No."

"Okay." He growls in frustration, sitting down.

"First of all, Paris knows about us, or at least about the woman you're seeing and I don't feel okay with it anymore." I cover my face. "I don't think I can keep this secret up anymore."

He groans and runs his hand through his already ruffled hair. "Don't tell me you call me to call things off. I know the guilt would come so I asked you to leave your job, but you refused."

"No the guilt is there, but I want to know if I can depend on this love you say you feel for me."

"We have been over this, love."

We have and I'm still scared that your answer would be the same as yesterday.

"Yes and I haven't forgotten, but I love you and..."

"You love me?" He asks in surprise, his eyes looking hopeful.

"Yes, I love you and I don't want to be your secret lover, so tell me if you think I'm worth it."

"My love, things are really hard on me."

"That's not an answer!" I snap irritably at him unable to stay calm and keep cool.

"I don't know." He says softly, his eyes not meeting mine.

I clench my teeth and try to not show how much hurt is going through me right now as I watch him. He doesn't know if I'm worth it, worth risking anything for me, how much more before he pushes me away.

I'm not going to cry, not in front of him. I'm not that weak.

"Look at me!" I snap at him and his eyes raise to meet mine. "Do you think I am worth it?" I ground out harshly.

"I don't know, I'm sorry."

I grab my purse and get up and begin to walk away. "Taylor, come on, honey." He gets up after me.

I furiously turn to him, my face red and I glare at him in anger. "Just what the fuck did Ginger do to you that changed you into this person?" I explode.

"How the hell do you know about Ginger?" He asks with a suspicious raise of his eyes.