Chapter 120: Chapter 120
I sigh and draw in a quick breath, "I know and I don't care because I love you, Taylor, now shut up and come over here 'cause I'm dying to kiss you." I command, because the thought of having her in the same room, alone and not being able to kiss her is killing.
She walks over to my bedside and stops when he reaches the foot of the bed, her head still down. "I won't be able to touch you or even kiss you if you're going to just stop there," I tell her and she begins to walk closer, her head down and looking at the floor. She gets to my side and I smile happily, she at my reach now.
"Hun, look at me," I tell her and she looks up into my eyes, she whimpers and gasps aloud in pain again, but this time unlike the last time, she doesn't stop looking at me.
A tear falls from her eyes and it falls and hit my hand on the bed and I grit my teeth, I don't want to see her like this, it is literally hurting my heart.
"Wipe those tear off your face, sweetheart, they are making my heart hurt," I said.
She nods and bites hard on her lips which are quivering and trembling greatly and she obediently wipes the tears away.
"You look beautiful, Taylor, you always have." I can't help the compliment leaving my mouth.
She shakes her head, countering my word, "I'm not beautiful, not like this. I'm a mess" she replies and I frown at her stubbornness.
"Yes, you are, I'm staring at your face right now and if I wasn't impaled to this damn bed, I would have loved to show you." I tell her with a smirk and she rolls her eyes, but her cheeks grow red, "You're beautiful, Taylor, flawless and I'd like to show you that." I say, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand and she looks at me with flushed cheeks.
"Rory-"
"Tell me you don't want that too."
Her eyes close and she bites her lower lips harder and she nods, "I do, Rory but we only have today."
"And today is enough," I tell her, slowly pulling myself up to give her a little space on the bed.
She swallows hard and she sits down and draws closer to me and she drops her head a little nearer to mine and she lets her lips meet my own. I kiss her hard and quickly and my hand goes into her hair and tug gently on it as the kiss deepening. My tongue slowly penetrate her mouth and she accepts it and we kiss like we are running out of time.
Maybe because we literally are.
We pull away and we are both breathing heavily and hardly. My tongue laps at my bottom lips sweetly before smiling at her.
"That was amazing," I admit and huff a breath, my gaze not dropping a bit from Taylor's, her lips are a little swollen and parted as she breathes through them and the sight is priceless. "God I wish we weren't in the hospital, the things I would have love to do to you now."
"But you can't and it's all because of me," she mumbles sadly and the excitement fades away.
"It's not your fault, Taylor, don't do that," I murmur dully.
"It is, Rory. You only say that because you love me and don't want to hurt me, but I hurt you emotionally, physically, psychologically-"
"Taylor" I begin to say as I take her hand.
"No, Rory, listen. I didn't know you were outside-" she cries weakly and it breaks my heart.
"No, Taylor, stop" I take her hand in mine, but she pulls it from me and moves away.
"Rory, please listen," she is already shedding tears.
I don't need her doing this now, not here. "Don't do this, Taylor."
"Please, Rory, listen, I need you to listen!" she begs in agony and anguish and it hurt so much to look at her. "I was hurt for years and all I thought about was how I'd make you pay for everything I suffered. All the pain, rejection, betrayal and agony, I channelled it into making you suffer and I didn't care who I was hurting in the process. I was mad that you broke my heart and all your promises to me and didn't stand by me like you swore you would. I decided not to move on and when I came back, I was going to hurt you, make you suffer and go through as much misery as I had gone through in the last four years." it hurts her as well as it hurts me to hear this words, but I know she has to let them out and be able to let go of the burden.
"I had everything I had always wanted, a man that loved and adores me and a daughter that always made me smile, but I didn't see it, I didn't see you because I couldn't let go of the past and live in the present with you."
A tear slips down my face at her own admission, I wanted to pull her into my arms and assure her all will be okay, but even I am no longer sure of that.
She continues, determined like someone who is confessing their deepest and darkest sin to the priest. "Love was supposed to be patient and endure all things and I thought you lied to me when you said you loved me because I didn't see any of that with you when you turned your back on me and hurt me in the way I never thought you could. I felt vulnerable four years ago, to you and everyone who had wronged me and I promised myself never to feel that way again."
"That was why I never gave myself completely to you, or let you love me in any way because I asked myself 'what am I going to do when this shallow love fade away?'"
Her head lower in shame, but she doesn't stop talking. "But in the last four days, I saw what I always wanted to see, a love that was consistent, patient, enduring because you did everything anyone in love would do. You fought for me in a way no one has and then it hit me because I didn't love you. No, not in the way you loved me-selflessly. You loved me so much, but I couldn't even see it and for that, I'm so sorry." she looks up at me with wet and red eyes, "I will understand if you do not forgive me after this, but I'm really and truly sorry."
"Come here." I beckon with my hands and she draws closer to me. "I'm sorry for breaking the promises I made to you, it's not your fault, everything was taken from you in one day. Anybody would do the same, but I forgive you from my whole heart."
She stares at me in surprise, "Why?"
"I love you, Taylor, always have and always will," I tell her with a serious look. I take her hand in mine again and stare up at her quietly, "do you still love me?"