Chapter 100: Chapter 100

Phoebe's voice as she walks to my door, makes me smile down at myself, "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time." she remarks after a minute of studying me from where she stands.

I turn from the dressing mirror to look at her, she looks amused and happy and I can't help feeling happy along with her too. "I don't remember when last I was this happy either, Phoebe," I agree, doing the buttons of my grey long sleeve. I don't want to look too casual, nor too dressed for the dinner and although we'll be three on the table I'd want to think of pleasing Taylor and her baby, Reign as well.

I feel her hands on my shoulder to gently give me a massage. I close my eyes and enjoy the relief her touch gives me, "It gives me great joy to see you like this brother." she admits, her voice happy and grateful.

"Me too." I pick my black tie up from the bed and debate whether or not I should wear it. "How's Jack and my little unborn Angel?

"He's fine and Jack is still Jack, being overprotective and all." she replies, a little displeased as she sits down on the bed, resting her chin on her left hand "He doesn't understand I can take care of myself and sometimes that can be irritating do you think I'm overreacting?"

"Not really." I drop the tie and pick up my comb from the dressing mirror and run it through my hair. "but if I'd lost two of my unborn babies to miscarriage, I'll be pretty overprotective too." I say, siding Jack because I can relate with him.

Over the last four years, Phoebe and Jack have lost not one but two pregnancies, the first loss came a few months after their marriage Phoebe was barely two months and it did wreck them, but they managed through it even though they both felt the pain, they learnt to heal. The second loss was two years ago after Christmas when the pregnancy was just three months old and everyone saw them shatter and struggle to even stay together. Phoebe said the loss was too much and she wasn't sure she wanted to go through that again, but the joy of holding one of her own kept her going. A few months ago Phoebe announced there were expecting a baby and they've made it into the fourth month successfully.

She rolls her eyes, "He seems to forget that they were also mine and that I also want babies just as much as he does."

I drop the comb and walk over to where she is and bend down to properly look at her. "Would you rather he show no concern for you and the baby? Live like he doesn't care about the both of you?"

She shakes her head, "No." and I see the despair she's had in the last couple of minute fade away. "I don't want that either."

I take her hands in mine and softly rub a fine circle on them, "It's your third try and I've got to tell you I'm also eager to hold my nephew in my arms too." I tell her with a teasing smile.

She smacks my arm playfully and I get up, "It's so obvious the kid loves and cares about you and the baby's safety."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am," I say, winking at her and getting up.

"But he's not a kid anymore, Rory, he's a man, when will you learn to drop the kid title?" she asks with a disappointed tone in her voice.

I sigh, this isn't the first time she's said this and I can tell she's getting upset with me, which I don't want. "Okay, I'm sorry, I will drop the kid title from now on."

"That would make me happy, thank you."

The smile on her face makes m smile as well, "I wonder what it's like to be a dad." I trail off, becoming a little puzzled at the thought that takes over my mind and I do consider it an impossible task.

Phoebe sees the look on my face and chuckles, "Someday, you will know and it's one of the best feelings in the world." She gets up from the bed and walks towards me, handing me the red leather jacket on the bed instead of the coat.

"I'll take your word for it." I collect it from her hand and I shrug it on, "you know seeing everyone with kids or pregnant makes me feel kinda left out." I point out.

"Everyone?" she asks, her brows drawing together.

"Taylor, Keenan, Jack, you."

"Keenan and Taylor have a baby?" she ask and a hint of pain flashes in her eyes, but quickly masking it up, she smiles. "I didn't know that."

I slowly take her hand into mine, "Phoebe, there's something I have to tell you about Keenan."

She looks up at me with a dismissive look, "Keenan left me many years ago, and don't tell me there's an honest intention in what he did back then. He may be your best friend, but he isn't mine and so there's really no reason to bring him up or tell me anything about him, he made his decision on his own."

There's every reason to, the guilt I've felt over the last decade of my life because of the wrong I've done to both her and Keenan is a reason to bring him up. Although I'd blamed all Keenan later decision and mistake on Keenan being his usual crazy and uncaring attitude I had a huge role to play in the man Keenan became.

"No, Phoebe, I want to tell you about what I did to both you and Keenan a long time." I let go of her hand and I turn from her.

"What do you mean by what you did, Rory?" she asks, turning me to her with my arm and even though I can feel her uncertainty of the answer to her question.

I take two deep breath and before summoning the strength to speak. "Keenan never really left you when you guys were dating, those years. I asked him to."

She withdraws her hand from me and begins to move back. "Why would you do something like that, Rory?" she demands a little clueless, with remorse and pain in her eyes.

I began walking towards her but she just back away. "I'm sorry, you were my little sister... We were young and crazy and just out to have fun and nothing else, I thought Keenan was going to just hurt you as he had done to the other girls. So I told him to stay away."

"You had no right."

"I know and I'm sorry. I thought I was looking out for you, but I just hurt you and I couldn't bring myself to tell you all those years for fear of how you would react."

A tear slips down her eyes and she bit down on her lips. "I loved him and he loved me too! Did you know how I felt when all of a sudden he showed up saying he couldn't be with me anymore and he was sorry for leading me on?! It was all your fault. You put me into those horrible pain and insecurity of ever being truly loved. Keenan didn't break my heart, you did!"

More tears slip down her eyes and my eyes blur up. "I'm sorry, Phoebe, I couldn't bear the guilt anymore so I had to tell you."

"Just stay away from me and my family from now on," she warns sternly with a hand before walking out of the room.