Chapter 98: Chapter 98

: I Want To Hate

I smile through our training and I'm happy that we're back to okay. He's taking me into his office was hot.

Afterward, I was to head up to our room when I felt something missing. Yes, I might have dropped my bracelet. So I went into his office to look for it.

I look everywhere on the couch then remembering that we did the deeds on his desk before we move to the couch I went and look under the files.

I couldn't find it and I was walking when I saw a letter on the floor. I pick it up to put it on his desk.

I stopped when it accidentally open and I saw my dad's signature.

I was to put it there but I was too curious to know what my dad wrote in this letter.

So I took it out again and stood by the side of his chair to read it.

I stagger back after reading the letter "this can't be it," I mutter to myself and then I turn it over and read it once more.

"This couldn't be it, why did my father have to do that?" my tears escape my eyes and I put the letter back neatly on his desktop.

My dad in his letter has apologized for not being able to be here to help him tell me the truth.

The truth which I wish I knew but no I don't at the moment. Yet what's even more shocking was him saying to extend his apologies to me for compelling me to forget about everything.

Wow! now I know that my losing my memories was on purpose.

"Unbelievable"

I exclaimed in disbelief and Alera just remains silent without saying anything.

Not to be suspicious I link Matteo that I am going out to the mall. Instead of there, I made my way to my grandma's house.

I made it there within 10 minutes and once she saw me with Wesley in her arms she jump with happiness.

She put Wesley on the living room floor to play with his toys and came up to hug me tightly.

"Grandma, we need to talk and this time I want to know the truth," she frowns at me before the realization hits her and her eyes widen.

"Adassah" she moves and I nod my head no to her refusing to cry and be comforted by her until I know the whole truth completely.

My grandma ignores it and hugs me then guided me to the couch. I look at Wes for a moment before looking back to my grandma who nervously squeezes my hand.

We sat there for almost an hour and afterward I instantly stood up from the couch.

"I need time grandma," I told her and was about to bust out of the house when her words stopped me.

"I'll call Alpha Matteo"

I swirl around "please don't" she turns to me and I run to hug her.

"I need time nana and I want him to tell me not you to tell him that I know" I pull back and rush out of the door.

I didn't bother to use my car to go back as my legs started to move and before I knew it I had run out of there. I did not even bother to stop or think for a second to any danger as my mind was replaying my grandma's words over and over again.

Yet the more my legs speed up the more I see flashbacks of my past.

All the hateful things he did to me. I remember them all now and the way he used me disgusted me the most and it has broken me deeply.

Remembering his empty promises when he announced Quinn as his Luna on the night of the ball. I started to tear up.

I was horrified when the memories of my mother's wolf push me out of the way saving me from a feral wolf.

It's my fault that she died that night.

Instead of going straight to the packhouse, I run towards the Pack's cemetery where my parents are buried.

The thunder rumble with light rain blew by the wind until it is heavily pouring down but I didn't care as I run there on my barefoot.

I scream when I made there in front of them. Kneeling before their headstone and I cry out why to them.

Begging them why did they have to do it. Why my mom never told me anything about my family before and why my father would do that to me.

I wanted to hate them so bad yet in the end I couldn't because they not only did it for my safety but also give up their life for me.

My parents can never be blamed. They had given me everything, and even my mom warns me but I was so stupid to fall in love.

In realizing that I shouldn't be hating them. I cry out even more and apologize to them for being a weak, worthless, and stupid daughter.

"Adassah"

I close my eyes gripping the grass when I hear his voice.

"Adassah"

I heard again and I closed my eyes tightly biting my lip so hard that I could taste my blood.

My hands dug more into the soil drawing mud in my nails.

I wanted to hate him too so much and I was ready to hurt him and push him away after discovering the truth but I know I needed him for now just to erase the pain today.

Wiping off my tears with the back of my hands I take a deep breathe to hide my anger and pain.

So when he calls my name for the third time I got on my feet and turn to him. Indeed, instead of showing him that I hated him and that I want to hurt him, I run into his open arms.

He caught me and my legs wrap around his torso.

"I was so worried when your grandma says that you would be here, that you still are not over your parents’ death, " he says in the crook of my neck while holding me tight. Afraid that I might slip out of his hold any minute.

I pull back my head taking his face in my dirt hands which thankfully the rain kind of wash it from his face. I smash my lips onto his. I know I needed this just to numb the pain in the meantime.

I needed this before everything is back to reality. He tries to pull away but I show him that I'm desperately in need of his touch.

We moved away from the cemetery and into the forest not far from the eyes of warriors on duty or anyone on the run.

I tore off his shirt and Matteo quickly pushes me up against a tree can't believe I'm doing this out in the pouring rain and the open area. I keep on moaning his name as he tore my clothes from my body leaving me naked under his glory.

His eyes met mine alluring me even more to have him in me now. He positions himself between my parted legs for a second taking a deep breath before he took me against that tree.

And every pain I went through and tears that I shed today were long forgotten. As the only thing I'm feeling is him filling me with nothing but the pleasure that I am enjoying very much to numb everything.

I woke up sometimes later and found the other side of the bed empty. Well, after we had sex against the tree we kind of continued it when we got home making sure no one is around to see us when we sneak our way back here.

Matteo wasn't here but the coldness of the sheet beside me tells me that he has been gone for a long and I have been sleeping like a baby.

Pulling off the sheet from my naked body I lazily put on a shirt that covers my bottom and went to look for him.

I followed his scent and Alera was disgusted to smell it mix with another.

We stopped in front of his office door preparing to go in and face him but voices made us stop.

He is in there with someone. I take a close ear to the door and with my werewolf hearing, I listen hoping to catch him cheating. Indeed, his angry voice and the female's frustration made me wonder what could have gone wrong.

"You have to take responsibility for your pup, he's your son not Lorentz pup" Alera whimpers in my head of what the female is saying

"You know I've been there for him it's just that I can't be there I haven't told Adassah that you and I have a child. Aren't you satisfied that Lorentz is a good father to him Quinn " I heard her groan in anger?

There was silence and I stood there taking in the info. Now I know Quinn and him have a son with her which is a fact.

Well, I can't believe this and I am being in denial now.

"She needs to know and it's not like we weren't in love" she whispers yell out at him.

"We used to love each other before she shows up Matt, and you promised that you'll only go to use her," she says in defeat "yet in the end"

There was a crash cutting her off and I instantly pull away from the door shutting out whatever the rest of their conversation or heated arguments is about.

He was never mine. How could he profess he loves me, make love to me when all along he was someone else's, and what's worst he used me.

My heart broke and all I could feel was betrayal and lies he made to me.

I was ready to forgive and try to forget everything because I wanted to be happy but I don't think I can move forward with it.

I now know this is not some other mate's love story, this love or whatever I have with Matteo is...