Chapter 98: Chapter 98

Chapter 97

The feelings

"Are you okay?" he asked. I stood up straight and nodded. I almost fell ... but not on him.

We toured the whole place. Jess is happy and very happy, so I'm happy too because we make him happy somehow.

Neil picked him up when Jess got tired.

We went for a walk. There were very few people we saw. Maybe, they thought Neil and I were going to get married and our son is Jess. That's probably what people think every time the three of us go out.

In these moments, I don’t feel sadness but joy and delight. I am enjoying right now.

Jess was already asleep, so we got back in the car to take him to the orphanage. We also left after taking him back in the Orphanage.

He is the driver. I don’t know where he will take me.

"Aren't you going to the coffee shop anymore?" he suddenly asked.

“I am lazy to go there,” I said. "Why?"

“I always look forward to you at the Coffee shop whenever it rains. I thought you were going to the coffee shop because it was raining. ”

I haven't spoken yet. I don’t want to explain why I don’t go to the coffee shop.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked while driving my car.

“Somewhere,” I replied.

He continued driving until he stopped. He got out of the car and opened the door for me.

I looked around. The place is not familiar to me but it is beautiful and seems quiet.

"What place is this?"

"Lover's village," he replied, so I suddenly looked at him.

"Why did you bring me here?"

“I have wanted to bring you here for a long time. In this place, Daddy confessed his feelings for Mommy. ”

The place is beautiful. There are trees. There are many scattered dry leaves on the ground that seem to be similar to the place in other countries. It's normally messy but clean in the eyes.

The breeze is nice. There is a bridge. That bridge is high and there is a river under the bridge.

I started walking towards it. Lots of locks placed there. Lovers' locks. That is the symbol of the love of two people. I was looking at the river. The river is clean and clear.

I stopped walking. I looked around because it's nice to watch. He stood next to me and also observed what I was observing.

The surroundings are clear. Relieves fatigue.

"Daddy said ... it feels better to come here with the person you want to be with until old age."

I knew what he meant, so I looked at him. He wasn’t looking at me but he was looking around. He just looks straight.

"So I brought you here," he added and slowly looked at me. We both looked at each other. I couldn’t help but look at his pinkish lips. Argh!

"You brought me here because ..."

"Because I love you."

I was speechless for a few minutes. I never thought he had feelings for me before. I thought it was very impossible for him to reach. It seemed so impossible for him to like me — to like a nerd and old classic woman before.

But now ... I doubt it. Maybe he doesn't really feel that way. The potion may have already affected him. Maybe he just loves me because I used a love potion on him.

I don’t want a love that is just forced. He may not know what he is doing. Maybe he doesn't really love me.

“I used to love you so much,” that came out of my mouth before I looked back at something else. “I did everything to make you notice me then. I became a blind and stupid girl.” I looked at him and he looked at me too. "But you ... but you said ... but you said that you can't love me the way I love you— that you won't love me back," I continued while directly looking into his eyes. We both looked at each other. “Do you know that you made me cry? That I almost lost myself. That's why I changed myself not because for you to notice me but for myself only.”

I averted my eyes and started walking again. He follows me.

“I stopped dreaming of you,” I said while walking. I know he can hear me. I stopped and turned to look at him. "You broke me first before I realized every stupid things that I made." I took a deep breath and smiled. “Then ... you suddenly changed. Why you changed? ”

“I”

“Why are you saying that you love me? You never made me feel that love. ”

"I have no self-confidence."

“But why did you hurt me? Why you broke me? ”

“I ... I ... I am so sorry. ”

“Do you know that ... I am now scared to love again? To love you again, though I love you. ”

I turned around again and walked away. I didn't speak again until I got off the bridge.

A vast garden full of colorful flowers. It's like I'm in Japan.

I kept walking and my hands constantly touched the flowers.

Wait ... where is Neil?

“And where are—” I couldn't continue when the flowers he was holding opened up to me.

He was holding a bunch of flowers that covered his face. I couldn’t help but smile even though I was shocked.

I picked it up and smelled the flowers.

I turned around suddenly and inhaled the smell more while still smiling.

I walked again and I knew he was still following me.

I stopped abruptly. I remember something. I need to rest because the pageant will be held tomorrow.

I just stood there and then I suddenly thought of turning around when my eyes almost widened. He was behind me.

We are so close to each other. Our faces are so close. I could already smell his breath, fresh.

We stared at each other for 60 seconds before I backed away a bit to have some distance between us.

“I have to go back, Neil,” I said.

"Will I see you again?" he asked. I stared into his eyes.

"I am not sure yet."

I couldn't wait for his response. I walked over and noticed that he was not moving from where he was standing. I just ignored him and continued to walk slowly.

I stopped when he called me. I waited for what he would say next.

"Do you love me?" he suddenly asked which startled me. I can't move where I stand. My eyes blink steadily.

A few seconds maybe passed. I haven't answered his question yet.

“My heart says that Pershey loves Neil,” he said. I didn't utter a word. I don't know how to respond, what to say. I don't understand my feelings. I don't understand myself.

I was just standing and kept on looking at the flowers he gave me. I couldn't find the answer to his question.

“But I won’t force you to love me. I could wait because I am sincere. ”

I felt something wrong. Many things come to my mind. Many memories come back to my mind. Gradually, I came to realize what he had done.

I still remember my debut party. He was there that I thought he would not go after what happened to us. I was amazed when he sang the song to me. It was as if they had prepared everything for that night. He gave me flowers and smiled sweetly on me as if nothing happened. I still can remember when Caleb and I were dancing. He was there too. He was looking at us and there was something on his eyes that I couldn’t explain, then he suddenly left.

I still can remember when I was bathing in the rain. I was crying during that time, then he noticed it. He gave me his jacket and he get wet. He pulled me closer to him when I was about to leave and run away. He touched my cheek and looked into my eyes. He grabbed my arm and we walked.

Confusingly.

I still remember when we have outing at sea. I noticed how he avoided me that night, but I was shocked and confused when he snatched the wine from me and drank it. At the time I was with Caleb, we looked at each other and there was something in his eyes that I didn’t know, I couldn’t read what his gaze indicated that night, but my chest suddenly felt like it was aching.

I still remember when we were trapped in the library. He caught me when I almost fell because I kicked in the door. My chest was pounding fast at that moment because we were both looking at each other and he was holding me by the hip.

When he asked if I saw the shooting star, he told me his wished.

‘I wished that I could tell her how much I love her. I wished to be with her all the time, so that even I didn’t tell her how I feel, I can express my feelings to her somehow. ’

That is exactly what he said to me that made me confused. I am wondering who's the girl he is referring to.

I still remember how playful destiny was every time we met at the coffee shop unexpectedly whenever it rained. Every time he looks me in the eyes, I feel like I have a strange feeling.

"Are you okay?" he suddenly asked, so my spirit woke up. Too much is bothering my mind. I have been silent for too long. I remembered a lot and realized. Now I just noticed. I didn’t notice then.

I nodded.

"Let's go?"

I nodded again and he smiled. He walked over to me and looked then smiled again. We were walking together up to the bridge when I suddenly stopped. He continued on a slow walk.

As I stood, I just stared at him. There is something I want to say.

“Neil,” I called him, he stopped. He turned to me. I don't know how to say this ... “I love you,” I said that caused him to smile widely and sweetly. I didn't realize that I was already smiling and slowly walking towards him.

"Let's go?"

I nodded. We walked until we reached the place where he parked the car. He drove me all the way home. He just waited for a taxi because we used my car.

I could no longer remove the smile from my lips as I walked into the mansion. I stopped and looked at him again.