Chapter 63: Chapter 63

Chapter 63

“P-please, don’t lie,” I almost begged in tears. She was sitting next to me and so was I. "Don't tell a lie, please?"

She shook her head, saying, "I know you won't believe me, Pershey."

How can I believe that she once lied to me? What if sje was just fooling me? What if she just played with my mind? What if she tells a lie again?

I suddenly stood up. I have to leave, I have to go. I shouldn't listen to what she says because she's drunk. I shouldn't believe her, because who is she for me to believe her? What if she's just insulting my parents to me?

I didn't say a word or look at her a little. I just stood there and wanted to lock myself in my room. I wanted to be alone even for a moment.

She was just lying. My parents can’t afford to lie to me. What she says is not true. She lied and what she said was also a lie. Why should I believe? Why am I crying? Why am I crying? What she said was not true. Do I know if she just planned those? She's just fooling me. My parents can't lie to me. They know it was wrong to lie. My parents can't lie to me, they won't. I knew them and even though we weren’t together always, I knew they never lied.

But .... what about the pictures? Why didn't they mention those things to me?

I have already started to take steps. It makes me feel wrong and it’s not how I should feel. This is my night! My debut party! I supposed to be happy and enjoy this night! This is the most awaited scene in my life. I should be happy and tears shouldn’t be flowing down my face! I should not weep with the weight of what I feel like I am drowning and sinking, but weep with joy and happiness. This is wrong! She's just lying!

"You were taken to the States when you were a baby because they introduced you to me," she said, so I stopped. “My mother accepted you like you were her daughter. She took care of you, dear, until she brought you back here to take care of the Company,” she stopped. I am still not looking at her. I want to wait what she would say next. "... until you grow up, we'll be apart, but Mom and Dad are still telling me about you," she continued.

I felt the warm water flow down my face, I just let it flow.

"You were just a baby when we first got together, so you didn't know me when I came here," she continued. "... Mama and Papa always tell me about you," she laughed from what she said but I know that it wasn't really fun but mixed with bitterness. "... I feel jealous because I feel ... you are very special to them," her voice lowered. I firmly rubbed my wet cheeks. "... especially when they sent me here to watch over you, take care of you, and help you for your debut ..."

My brain is confused! I'm tired! I don’t know what else I’m going to do and think! I do not know! My mind is a mess! I hate it!

“... I feel even more that you are very special to them. I feel even more that they love you more than me,” she said coldly. I almost rolled my eyes just to stop my tears from flowing. My vision is almost blurred. I can't see much anymore. "... and I compare myself to you because you, Pershey, you have your freedom, you have everything that I don't have especially the love of Mama and Papa."

My chest is weakening. My heart seemed to split into small pieces. The whole galaxy seemed to have fallen on my chest.

How did what she said happen? How could they lie to me? How were they able to hide the truth from me for 18 years? I mean, they've been fooling me for 18 years? Why didn't I even notice that they were lying to me? Why didn't I even feel it?

"... they always make you feel that they love you so much." This time, I face her and she's still on the bed, and looking directly at me. Her little puffy red eyes.

I stared at him as tears continued to flow down my face. I haven't worn that yet. My ears seemed to want to hear what Bria was saying.

“... and you know that it hurts? As if I feel ... I can't match you, as if they can't love me as much as they love you. ”

"B-b-bria."

“... and you know what Mama said to me? Huh? ... she said that you are my sister somehow. She said that even though we have different mothers, we are still sister.”

At that moment, while he was saying those words, my tears flowed so much that my eyes almost hurt.

"She loves you so much, Pershey, they love you so much," she continuously said as tears also flowed down her cheeks.

I almost catch my breath while crying.

How? How did it all happened? How were they able to hide the truth from me?

Who is my real mother? Why didn’t they tell me just then? Why do they even have to lie to me? Why is that? Why do they have to lie?

Why unfair!

“They really really really love you ... but what about me? Do you know what I am feeling everyday? ”

I did not speak and continued to stare at her. Tears kept running down her face.

I never expected that I would not know much about who I was. I thought, I am almost perfect to have them that even though we are not together always, I am confident that they are true to me, that they have no secrets to keep from me. I was wrong. I thought they wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from me. They love me, but why did they hide the truth from me? Why didn’t they tell me the truth? I can't imagine them lying to me for 18 years. How did they do that to me?

“... now, please, I am begging you, Pershey, please, forgive them, forgive our parents, please?”

I don’t know what to answer. I don’t know how I’m going to do. I don’t know how I’m going to start again. How about me?

I didn't expect to cry, I just covered my face as I felt so much grief in my chest.

My whole being seemed to crumble at what she said. It seemed to crush my heart. I don't seem to be able to handle how I feel anymore.

How do I accept everything? How can I accept the truth that Bria said? How do I start? What should I do?

I felt her body hugging me as she caressed my back.

Meaningfully, I’ve been a fool for 18 years? I was 18 years apart from the truth? They've been fooling me for 18 years? They have been hiding my true identity from me for 18 years? Why do they even have to lie to me? Why do they even have to hide the truth from me? Why didn't they just tell me the truth? Why do they even have to lie to me?

Therefore, who is my real mother? Where is she? Why doesn't she even introduce herself to me? Why does she have to leave me? Didn’t she love me so she left me with Daddy? Didn’t she want to be with me so she left me with Daddy?

Damn it! My life is full of lies! There are so many things I don't know!

I pressed the wipe over my eyes then I removed my hands that covered my face. She left the embrace.

Her eyes were swollen from crying and maybe my eyes were the same.

I wanted to speak but I couldn’t open my mouth, instead, I cried again while looking at her. She wiped the tears that flowed down my face.

“I know it is hard to accept the truth, Pershey, but, please, forgive us?” tears dripped from her left eye as she said those words. I rubbed her face before I stood up. I turned and looked up.

I do not know what to do. I don’t know how I can accept everything. I do not know where to start.

I didn’t expect everything. I didn't expect my parents to lie to me.

What am I going to do now? How am I, how do I feel? Where am I going? Where do I start? How do I accept everything? How can I forgive them?

Bullshit!!

I was so quick to run all the way to my room. I locked it and ran to lie down on the bed. There I burst into tears as I punched the soft bed.

I was screaming in tears and I knew no one was noticing me and could hear me. My face sank into the bed. I feel like the bed is so wet because of the tears running down my face.

I do not know. I do not know what to do.

Why ?! What is the reason for them to hide the truth from me? Why didn’t they introduce me to my real mother? I haven't even been with her in 18 years. I haven't even called her 'Mother.' I haven't even hugged her yet.

So, why?

Even though I could hear the loud pleasure outside, I was crying here in my room. I don’t seem to be able to hold on. I seemed to be alone in the dark and feeling the pain.

I heard a knock, so I stopped crying but I couldn't stop crying.

I stood up and approached. I took a deep breath.

"Why?" I asked. I tried to fake my voice so that she wouldn't notice I was crying.

“Don’t you mix with guesses? They are looking for you, ”Leighden said.

"I'll be there later," I replied.

"All right."

I immediately went back to bed and immersed myself in it.

They will notice that I came from crying. How can I hide my swollen eyes? How can I keep it a secret?