Chapter 52: Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Please slap both of my cheeks! Please punch my face to awaken my spirit!

"My lady," he said tenderly, softly, gently and upliftingly. What happened at the Mascaraed Party came back to my mind. It came back to my mind how he danced me and called me ‘my lady’ that made me soft right now and confused.

Why did he called me ‘my lady’? Why is he like that to me now? Is that the effect of the potion I added to his juice?

I closed my eyes tightly while taking a deep breath. I opened my eyes and smiled. I didn't realize that I was smiling at him. My lips smiled spontaneously.

I was unaware of that! I didn't expect that my lips would smile on him.

I placed my right hand on his palm. His smile widened even more so I smiled again.

I stood up without taking my eyes off him. A melodious piano music continues to play. As far as I know, that is a piano cover of the song 'Your Love' by Alamid.

Neil and I are almost the same height because I wear 3 inch square heels.

He still held my hand before he placed it on both of his shoulders. He grabbed me by the waist which made me smile on purpose.

Shit! Is it spark of love? I spontaneously smiled without knowing it?

I looked down because he was staring at me as if nothing had happened. I could still hear the song but I could hear the loud and fast beating of my heart so much that I could almost hear it. I could also hear Leighden's faint sigh. I knew he was smiling now so I didn’t look up. I just might draw my wide smile even more when I look at him.

Is Neil still staring at me? Is it really happening tonight? Are we really dancing? But why did his demeanor suddenly change? What is this prank? Just a joke? Just a play? What's this show?

Why is he here, huh?! What the heck is going on here? Am I hallucinating? Am I getting crazy? Am I dreaming? He can't be here but why he's here? What changed his mind?

We've only been dancing for a few seconds but I feel like Neil and I have been dancing for an hour. The clock seems to be running too slowly.

I still can't look at Neil. I feel ashamed and disgusted with him. His actions are amazing. Suddenly he was like that to me and he even called me 'My Lady.'

I closed my eyes tightly as I bowed my head. On the ground I stared, at our feet as we both stepped sideways slowly. Maybe he didn't notice my appearance and the expression on my face because I was bent over. I suddenly felt deprived of him.

"Pershey," he called softly and softly so my spirit awoke.

My mind and mouth were debating whether I should speak or whether I should just stay bent over and avoid looking at him.

"Pershey," he called me softly and softly again but I remained bent over. I couldn’t force myself to look at him. The marks of the pains and what he said that day are still here. It's already buried in my heart so it's really disgusting and embarrassing to look at him. I don’t look like I can face him.

Just a few seconds later, finally, I thought to answer, “Why?” I asked but I still bowed.

We just kept on dancing. I don’t know and sure but maybe a few minutes have passed. Neil and I danced for too long. Is it special? Is he special?

I feel like he’s looking at me, so as much as I can, I’m not looking. I didn’t want to meet his looks because I knew I would just remember everything.

I don't want to remind myself how much I was hurt before just because of him, and my feelings. I don't want to feel it again. I don't want to cry or even to bring back the old Pershey.

"Maybe ..." he didn't finish so I frowned slightly, guessing what he was going to say. I still haven't looked at him. I was more comfortable like this than meeting his gaze. "... can you look at me?" he continued in a soft tone of voice that almost chilled my body.

I hesitated to look at him. Please let my face fall when my spirit wakes up!

I didn’t think that I would spontaneously lift my face to look at him. I didn't realize that. I was surprised when Neil and I looked at each other.

He smiled first and I smiled too. To be honest, my lips are smiling spontaneously. It was as if my body was controlling me.

"Happy birthday," he greeted and I returned it with a smile before I turned my gaze to something else. I still felt so deprived and ashamed that I was uncomfortable looking or staring at him.

"Pershey," he called me softly and softly again so I looked at him and tried to find out what he was thinking. It's like ... I'm trying to read what's inside his mind.

I just looked into his eyes and I didn't say a word. It seems like my mouth was zippered that I couldn't speak. It seems like I have no mouth and my mind was floating.

Does he still have a plan to speak or will he just stare at me for the rest of his life?

"I ..." he said still a little hesitant. I waited for what he would say next.

‘I ...’? I asked and waiting for what he would say next.

I what? I ... don't like you? I ... won't like you? I ... don't care about you? I what ?! Huh ?!

I hate you?

Such are the ones that come to my mind when he says the word ‘I’. I actually don't know what the hell is happening to me. I don't know what is this feeling and what's inside this shit heart.

Does he really have no intention of completing what he is going to say? I've been waiting for him to formulate what he's going to say. What!? Will he just stare at me? Huh! I’ll melt, Neil, you might think!

He didn't seem to have any intention of making up what he was going to say so I thought of speaking up. "I what?" I asked.

"I want to apologize," he directly said.

Ahh! He's just going to apologize to me. Ahh-okay. He's just really going to apologize to me.

“...I'm just going to apologize.” he continued. It's too long. The song is about to end. He was the only one I danced with for a few minutes.

He wants to apologize? Wherever? What is his fault? Are those the ones he told me on the rooftop in front of a lot of students? Was is it? Is he going to apologize for leaving me on stage and saying he didn’t want to be my king?

Apologize in what? Which one? When I cry ... won't he apologize for the tears that flowed down my face? With my efforts and attention to him ... won't he apologize? So ... he wants to apologize but in what? Which one?

I took my eyes off him for a moment and said, "For what?" I was struck by the sight of Driver Gong sitting on the side of the stage and also looking at us. He smiled at me at the same time as he nodded so I just smiled too.

It's been ringing before. What time will it end?

"Of what I said," he replied so I looked at him and I laughed a bit softly and quickly.

"You said a lot, which one of them?"

"I'm sorry to everything especially what happened at the confession stage," he replied. I just looked into his eyes. I can see his sincerity through his eyes while he's looking at me in the eyes. I don't want to think about it but what happened came back to my mind. I was embarrassed that day but it was okay with me. I was not affected by the embarrassment but by what he said that day. I already know. I knew he didn't like me, I still pushed myself. I know he doesn't love me, I still continue to love him. I knew he wouldn't like me, I still pushed myself on him.

Who is to blame? Who should ask for forgiveness? Isn't it me? I have to apologize to myself for hurting myself. I know the end, I still insist on what I want. I hurt myself and I, myself, should be the first to apologize to myself. That wouldn't have happened if I had thought about the end first. The only good effect of what happened that day, I changed and learned to love myself. If that didn't happen..maybe I'm still an old version of Pershey until now.

"It's okay," I replied and laughed slightly softly. "I forgot that," I added even though it wasn't true. How can I forget those things? I haven't forgotten that because it's here in my heart. "I accepted and I knew it before," I said laughing. I turned my gaze to something else for a moment to avoid his gaze.

“I hope you forgive me,” he said. I nodded in response before looking back at him. "I'm sorry, Pershey," he added.

I smiled before saying, "I'm fine. Don't worry. I forgive you."

"Happy birthday again," he greeted then drew a smile on his lips before the music ended. We stopped dancing and he left. I looked at Driver Gong with a wide smile on his face.

I went back to my seat. My legs were a bit bent from standing and dancing. Neil and I danced for 4 minutes.

We danced for four minutes? Really?

When I looked away from Leighden, she was smiling and I knew that smile. Maybe there are many more butterflies in her stomach.

I felt my mood loosen up. My heart is now beating normally. I no longer feel nervous and ashamed because I no longer face Neil.

Wait! Where is Neil now? Why did he suddenly leave?

As Driver Gong spoke, I couldn’t help but look around. My eyes search for Neil. He suddenly disappeared. Where did he go? He didn't even say he was leaving.

I even looked around. I might think Neil will hit me. Maybe he’s just somewhere and ventilating. We haven't talked properly yet and I want to thank him. Despite everything, I want to be thankful. He saved me and I want to thank him. I owe my life to him and am so grateful that he helped me.

Where is he now? Has he left yet? I haven't thanked him yet. I didn't say it before because my mind was blank. I was ashamed of him so my mind went blank.

I still want to thank him but he seems to have left. I didn't even say thank you for coming.

I want to see him again and say that I am blessed that he save my life. I want to say thank you to him personally.

Where is he? Where did he go? Why he didn't even say goodbye to me?

Is he just somewhere? Is he still here? I will wait to see him because I really want to thank him.

Tsk. I think he left me again. I couldn't feel his presence. It seems like he already leave after our four minutes dance.

Fine. If he leave, it's okay. I still have time to thank him.