Chapter 123: Chapter 123

Chapter 123

I laid the towel on the sand and there I sat. I hugged my legs as I watched the calm sea.

I hope I feel calm too.

Here my feet carried me. Here I suddenly thought of going to freshen up and entertain myself again.

It's like a fog now. The sky is dark.

The breeze was so nice that it somehow cleared my mind.

I want some peace of mind. I want some space. I want to think and find where I belong. It was as if the world was moving away from me. I feel deprived of the pleasure I have long wished to feel again.

Can I be happy? It's tiring to cry all the time. I knew that my suffering would end. The time will come when I will be happy again. I know I will be happy again.

This is the process of moving on, but I want him back.

"The sea is quiet, right?" someone said behind me in a calm and soft voice. I maybe just hallucinating, so I just ignored it. Maybe I'm just imagining what I heard because I'm the only one here. "You're coming here," he commented, so this time I realized that I'm not just hallucinating.

He's here? Is he really here? I know his voice. I know him very well and I can't be wrong that the voice I heard came from him.

He's behind me.

I slowly turned around and saw him standing as his gaze focused on the sea.

Suddenly, I stood up without taking my eyes off him.

He looked down at me, said, "It looks like it's raining today."

I don't know if I can speak or I will just stare at him.

We met again. This is probably the chance for us. This is probably the right time for us. There are signs.

But I doubt it now.

Now that he is in front of me, do I have to tell him that I have been waiting for him to return?

I also smiled at him later even though he was no longer looking at me.

I feel like I'm feeling a little overweight.

I kept on smiling.

I stood by his side and stayed there while also looking where he was looking.

Right now, I also feel like a calm sea.

"Did you follow me here?" I suddenly asked. Maybe... my face was thick when I asked him.

I sighed at his answer but a few moments passed.

He soon replied. "No," was his short answer that I didn't really expect.

I'll be honest that I really expected 'Yes' to be his answer but I'm wrong.

Fun to imagine. Maybe I’m just really wrong. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks that everything can be fixed. I really shouldn't have asked that but it came out of my mouth on purpose.

I was just quiet.

"... but I'm always waiting for you here," he added after a few minutes. Also because of what he said, I turned my gaze to him. I smiled as I looked at him while his attention was still on the sea.

“It’s my second time of going here after 2 years,” I said then I looked back at the sea.

He let go of a sigh.

Before he could answer, the rain began to fall. Unexpectedly, he laid his hand on my head.

"Let's go now," he said.

I still couldn't answer, the rain finally fell, so we ran away.

That was the second day Neil and I met.

Are these the signs? Will we ever meet again? We are in the same country, so maybe we will meet again.

I didn’t get the chance yesterday to tell him what I have to tell him. I want to let him know that he's still here.

Maybe the next time we meet, I might say that. I was discouraged. I was still waiting for the right opportunity to tell him what I had to say. I want it to come from him. I want to hear those words from him.

I still gamble even though I am not sure and there is no certainty whether this time I will win or lose again.

So for today, I want to go back to the place we used to go. There are our memories of that place.

In other words, I want to see him there. I'm speculating to see him again. Just in case we meet again in the place we used to go that I will go now, meaningfully, there is a chance for us. Maybe he still loves me.

As I expected, the place was very quiet. I breathed fresh air along with the restoration of the memories we had formed in this place.

The same place. I still remember everything especially when he brought me here and surprised me. There are fireworks display and unexpectedly, there are the words 'I Love You' in the sky that made me to say I love you too to him.

It's fresh in my mind. I thought I forgot

some of our memories.

I was already here at the Garden of Peace for 20 minutes. I may not see him here.

The same place anyway. Here he first brought me to have some peace of mind. The first time I was here was with him and Jess. We were so happy back then.

I sighed deeply.

Maybe he won’t come here. Maybe he has forgotten this place or maybe he just doesn’t want to go to this place again.

I want to see him here but maybe this is not the right time for us to meet again.

Okay, fine. If I can't see him here, there will be many more next time.

The time I have been waiting for is passing. I am entertaining myself but I am just more waiting for him.

I've been here before so I have to leave to rest. Maybe he won’t come here.

I just kept sighing as I walked away.

Many things come to my mind but maybe I need to let go of the things that are haunting my mind.

My mind was floating while walking when I heard something.

"Why are you leaving?"

A very familiar voice to me that caused me to stop. I felt like I was suddenly electrified when I heard his voice.

My mind went blank. I was unable to move my body even I was unable to blink.

Then unexpectedly, he grabbed me by my arm that made me face him.

I looked at him. He's still holding my arm, then he suddenly let go of my arm. Maybe he noticed my reaction.

I still can't speak as if my tongue is receding.

He's here now again. He came back.

So ... there is a chance for us?

"Why you're here?" he asked.

I woke up to his question again and immediately thought of an answer.

"I ..." I sighed while looking for an answer to his question. “I’m just bored. I came here because I'm getting bored, ”I continued.

I hope he knows what the reason is. If he only knew, he would understand me.

That was a big lie. Hopefully, he knows and he notices that I lied. I didn't come here just because I'm bored but because I'm hoping to see him here again.

“What about you? Why you're here? ” I asked back.

He smiled first to me before he spoke, "Expecting to see you here."

I lowered my head in shy but I am smiling.

How could he say that in front of me without hesitation?

He's being too honest.

Maybe, it's time to tell him about everything. It's time to let him know that I am waiting for him.

But ....

"I have to go," I suddenly excused that even myself was shocked by what I said.

I shouldn’t have said that but my mouth led me.

"Where will you go?" he asked gently.

“Somewhere,” I immediately replied

He didn't say a word in response, so I turned away.

It also lasted a minute. I still had my back to him and did not even step or move.

My body is waiting for him.

I noticed to myself that I was smiling.

I just started walking. I could still feel that he was still behind me and he was looking at me. I could feel his presence.

I let go of a deep sigh because I still couldn't say what I should say to him.

"Will I see you again?" he suddenly asked, so I stopped for a moment.

I tilted my head slightly and replied, "Perhaps." Then I continued walking.

I hope to see him again.

Where can I find him? Where will our paths meet again?

Can I request another one? Can we meet again?

My pain in my chest subsides every time we accidentally meet.

Even though he left the two of us, I’m still holding on.

As long as I cling to something, I just cling to it, I won't let go.

This is how I feel about what I’m holding on to. I know that the right time will also come that is meant for us. When that day comes, we will start again and nothing can stop or separate us again.