Chapter 41: Chapter 41

: Shame and Lust

Bree slowly opened her eyes as she lay beside Justin. Her heart thudding mercilessly inside her. Guilt playing on her every nerve.

What the hell had she done?

She stayed there for a second trying to erase all that had just occurred.  After managing to pry herself out of Justin's arms, she sat up glancing at the boy, studying him for a second before standing up with a bed sheet covering herself.

Justin had completely passed out and lay there fast asleep.

She looked at him, so peaceful, young and a hell of a looker. She shook her head, what was she thinking? What she had done was wrong, what would Robin think?

She had betrayed her husband and her step son. She sat in the bed beside Justin and passed her fingers across his cheek, slipping through his dark roots and skimming down his spine.

For one sinful moment she remembered what he had just done to her. It was wrong, so wrong but why did she have no regrets?

Sitting her bottom lip, she kept her eyes on him, watching his shallow breaths rise and fall.

An involuntary smile crept over her face. Causing her to freeze for a dry moment, for the first time in such a long time she felt happy.

Her eyes trailed toward the balcony and so she stood, her legs following her gaze to the balcony still in deep thought.

The bed sheet hanging on her naked body loosely, her money colored hair draped down her back.

She looked out, down at the view below,  the beautiful garden, as her thought debated within her, drowning off the guilt in her conscious.

what have you done? it was saying, he is your son.. and what will you tell Robin? how will be your relationship with your family now?"

Then another voice inside her, evil and cunning blotted out her conscious, "so what? It hissed it's done. All this is Robins fault anyway, if he had been around you wouldn't have resorted to this. look at justin..hasn't he made you happy? She turned around and looked at the figure still sleeping soundly.

Her sinful thoughts pried about the memory of his fingers dancing around her skin,  how good it felt, how happy she had been in those few moments.

Her heart begun to beat wildly, the other voice was right.

It wasn't her fault everything had happened like it had, it was all Robins fault.

He had led her to this, choosing his career over his own wife. Why should she suffer?

Justin wasn't even her real son. They weren't related in any way. If Robin wasn't going to find time for her, there was someone who would, right there lying in bed.

It would be easy. She knew how fragile Justin was and how easy it was to manipulate him. Now that she had tasted the forbidden fruit, she wanted it all.

Lust consumed her as she watched him sleep, handsome, young and fresh.

She walked back to him, sitting on the bed beside him, her thoughts drifting off to how much love he had showed her, he was stronger than Robin and much more efficient, whether it was thanks to the drug or that he was younger and more active.

She begun to stroke his back softly,  smiling to herself, she had banished all forms of regret and with every stroke grew a spirit of Lust and Desire for the young heartthrob.

The coals had already been there from the beginning, and now that the fire was raging. She was going to pet it burn till it became hell.

Justin groaned in his sleep, taking a deep breath as he twitched.  He felt a numb feeling of something crawling up and down his spine, immediately opening his eyes.

The second he did, he felt what felt like a sharp jamb slamming into his brain making him hiss in pain closing his eyes again, waiting for the pain to subside before reopening them allowing the light to slowly fill him.

The touch down his spine was still evident as whatever it was kept moving, making him feel so irritated but he was too weak to stand up and his vision blurred with every blink.

Little by Little he begun seeing more carefully, he heard a muffled up voice and saw a blurry figure smiling down at him, but he couldn't really tell until his gaze and realised it was Bree.

"What-whats going on?" he groaned as the headache continued to rage on,  leaving him dazed.

He could now see almost clearly now although he was still weak,.

His eyebrows furrowed at the image that lay before him, that looked strangely like a naked Bree with nothing but a sheer bed sheet covering her body.

He thought his brain was playing wicked filthy tricks on him and so he shut his eyes again turning over, before sitting up, glancing at Bree once more.

Her hair had been undone as it was now hanging loosely from her shoulders, her body was indeed covered in a very light see through sheet.

He looked at her confused, wondering what sort of trick this was.

"Are you okay baby?" she asked running her hands down his neck smiling.

He flinched away, his eyes widening at the confusion before him,   "I...don't..," he trailed off as he looked around him.

He spotted the pair of shorts he had been wearing, lying on the ground next to what seemed like a bra and a dress he had seen Bree wearing.

He shit his eyes, trying to drown in both the headache and this confusion plus, Brees muffled voice in his ear, trying to remember why he felt like this and what had happened exactly.

It was then he begun having flashbacks of what he had done the last few hours,  every detail run through his brain.

He begun to breathe heavily, suddenly looking up at Bree in pure horror,  his heart pounding against it's cage.

"Baby,  are you okay?" Bree repeated touching his shoulder lightly, concern over her every features.

All he could hear was her muffled voice as the world felt like it started spinning around him, making it hard to breathe. This must be just all a bad dream. All a really, really bad dream.

Then it suddenly stopped as  Justin peaked underneath the covers and got a glimpse of his naked self.

"We- we...." He trailed off gulping, "Did we-we ...?" he asked stuttering as his voice get scratched up inside his throat. He couldn't finish that horrifying sentence.

Bree raised an eyebrow, "did we have sex? Yes. Don't you remember?"

Justin gasped putting his hand over his mouth, pushing away from her, finding himself all the way across the room, a sheet wrapped around him.

He felt like this was all bad dream, as he glanced around the room one more time as if expecting everything to disappear and go back to the way it was.

Bree smiled softly, walking toward him.

Justin took the same steps back till his back hit the wall watching as Bree approached him. She suddenly laughed.

He watched her, surprised at her actions. She stood before him, shaking her head, " relax" she eased with a smile on her face.

He watched her calm face for a second, before a feeling of calmness spread through him. This was probably one huge joke. That was why she was laughing.

He suddenly felt relieved, breathing out.

She smiled, chuckling to herself as she tugged his hand and he moved toward her. Then suddenly she moved in for a hug, her arms wrapping around his neck, tiptoeing his height as she laid kisses on the side of his neck.

Justin pushed her back immediefky, eyes widening in horror as he wiped his neck with his free hand, " WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BREE?! " Justin yelled glaring at her, as moved away from her, his heart thudding mercilessly.

Bree looked at him surprised, before covering it up with a smile, "it's okay, sweetie," she said, moving toward him, barely touching his arm before he soun around, literally crossing the room, one hand around his waist to keep the blanket up.

This couldn't be happening. No this was just a really, really, really bad nightmare.

justin stood up taking the blanket with him.

"What is wrong with you?!  Look at what we've done!" he stormed showing her the room, his hands pulled at his roots in complete frustration and uttermost regret.

A guilt so deep forming in side him, he felt like breaking down and crying.

Bree sat on the centre of the bed like a tiger ready to pounce.

"I don't care," she said, casually.

Justin's eyes snapped to her failing to believe the stupid words that she had just uttered, "you don't-" he trailed off gritting his teeth, " how can you not care!  Do you not see what we've done!" He allowed,  shaking his head.

He felt worthless at the moment, a complete and utter scum of the earth.

He was losing it, both scared, angry and regretting, wishing and praying this could all turn out to be a dream or just some awful joke.

"How can you say you don't care?!" he repeated, looking at her in both disgust and confusion.

"I'm a woman, you are man, it's biology," Bree replied with a shrug.

"I'm going to pretend I just didn't hear that!" Justin spat giving her a vicious glare, " for goodness sake,  I'm your son!"

"step son, step..." she clarified, shutting her eyes for second. She breathed out opening them as if spending her frustration,  walking toward him.

Justin looked away as she approached him, the sunlight making everything visible through the bed sheet Bree had used as a cover.

"what?" she asked smiling after noticing his embarrassment. She looked at herself and saw how sheer the bed sheet was.

She laughed gaily and dropped the bed sheet.

Justin shut his eyes, praying that someone would wake up from this nightmare he had brought himself to.

What the hell was going on in his messed up little world?

"Please Mom, put the sheet back on," he gritted out, lifting his head toward the ceiling, his eyes still shut.

She smiled, "Just call me Bree," she said comming closer as he backed away till his back was against the wall.

Bree reached in to kiss him but Justin pushed her back fleeing to the other side.

"Pleas, Bree just,  think about our family and dad, he loves you so much, " he gritted out, guilt eating him whole. Staring toward the balcony as he said this and not at the naked Bree.

Bree scoffed, glancing at him as she picked up the sheet, wrapping it around herself, "Robin? he loves me? he has a funny way of showing it. No your father would rather choose his career, celebrities, money and even you over me, " she gritted out angrily.

"That's not true, " Justin defended, tears glossing his eyes as the feeling of having betrayed someone like Robin, soared within him, "if it was he wouldn't have married you, and given you that wedding you wanted, or keep saying how much he loves you."

Bree was getting angry at the topic of Robin, partly because she was angry about the way he treated her, partly because Justin was right and also because she felt guilty and she hated the feeling.

She wasn't going to blame herself. It was his fault and his alone.

"Your father only married me because he wanted to put a leash on me!" she screamed, "before we were married he treated me like his queen, because he knew I could easily change my mind, I was not bound to him. But the moment we got married, it was trip after trip, calls non stop, no time for me, present after stupid presents and those flowers. he even forgot I'm allergic to tulips! do you know the last time he touched me? You couldn't even guess. So don't stand there and tell me he loved me, I'm not the monster here, he is!" she shouted at him.

Justin's breathing faltered in surprise.

Here breathed out, trying to suck in her rage, pushing her hair out of her face, replacing it with a smile moving closer to the bed.

Justin glanced momentarily at her,  clenching the bed sheet he had covered his nakedness with.

"But that's okay," she purred softly as she crawled on to the bed, "he can have his career, I have someone now, who will make me so much more happier. "

Justin glanced at her harshly when she said those words, a rage building up within him, "No, don't even think about it!I'm not going to make you happy, Bre!" He gritted out taking his boxers off the ground and throwing her dress and bra to her, "I'm not going to do this again, I feel horrible already, this was a mistake! I regret every moment of it! Get that through your head!" Justin shouted.

Bree took a sat back, a scowl forming on her face as she watched the seething Justin,"a mistake you say?" Bree asked slyly, "you're saying when you forced me down and kissed me it was a mistake?" she asked,"when you touched me and said you wanted to make love to me, that was a mistake right? When you used me to satisfy your greedy self it was a mistake? When you held me and said you never let me go it was mistake!?" she asked yelling.

Justin stared at her wide eyes when she had said this. He didnt remember saying anything like that, it was still a fuzzy memory.

Shame crept up inside him, and he breathed out, running a hand through his dark roots." I didn't say that," he said softly,  trying to remember. But from all he could recall it seemed pretty right.

"Oh don't play pretend with me! You said and did all that and you know it," she said walking up to him. She tilted his head so he looked at her, "well okay then, it was a mistake, but it's your mistake and your going to clean it up. You can either play by my rules or we can end it."

End it seemed pretty appealing to Justin.

"When Robin comes back home we will tell him and then let him decide who to believe, think about it," she said kissing his cheek.

He pulled away in disgust as guilt filled hill up like a tornado. Bree smiled and picked her clothes up as she left his room.

He sat down wondering what he should do. Failing to figure out how on earth he had even gotten to his room. All he remembered was being in the gym then after that, those ugly memories played through.

He could explain things to dad, but would he believe what he said or what Bree would tell him?

He was after all just an outsider. Robin had known Bree for goodness knows how long, before he had even met Chris and Justin or knew either of them existed.

He sat in  bed sighing and wondering when things became this bad. Maybe he should first tell Chris.

Chris would believe him and support him he thought. He got his towel and took a very short and stressed shower.

His head blowing up with ugly thoughts, killing him with guilt, shame and disgust. he looked at his fingers as he took a shower. They were shaking again.

He took a shaky breath out, blinking away tears, ending his shower and climbing out the bathroom.

He looked at himself, his reflection  in the mirror and there for the first time in months he saw it again. What he feared the most, he was a monster. The same one that raped a girl and now throne that betrayed the one man that had given him everything.

He grabbed the mirror and threw it on the ground shattering it into a thousand pieces, in frustration,

"What a mess!" Chris said entering Justin's bedroom. Justin looked up at him in surprise, his heart thudding against his chest in shame,

"your back."