Chapter 39: Chapter 39

THIRTY EIGHT - WHAT DO YOU THINK?

------------recap---------

" you'll be leaving for the states after your SS3 to do your college" he spilled

For a spilt second, it seemed like the time had stood still yet had the atmosphere shooking with a raging silence.

"What?!" I say dumbfounded. He rasied his face to meet mine.his gaze piercing my shocking stare, his lips were pressed firmly in a thin line, his eyebrows slightly raised and his nose flared up defensively

" what do you been by that?" He asked with his voice laced in calmness which did no good to the pent up emotions of anger, suprise and shock bubbling inside me

" you can't do that.."I  retort vehemently " why do I have to go abroad and study?" I asked trying to still the rage which was slowly warming up

" oh you have to go since you have chosen that you want to read visual arts..I think it's best for you " he replied calmly

" you think?!" I roared in rage. The pent up emotions had finally been let out. I balled my fist tightly abruptly standing from my seat like someone had placed hot coals on it

" how can you say you thought about this? What about me? Did you ask me? Dad this is my life and you can't just control it like you will do on a game pad..there are other good schools in Nigeria,why didn't you think about them? what about the life I have here? My friends? "

" friends are bound to leave you someday and you can always start a new life_ "

"Yea..like you did after mum died you thought so well that burying your attention in your work was the best way to start a new life? You thought so well that being a dictator for me was the best way to keep you alive huh?..." I retort sacarstically

" don't you dare talk back to me young man " he growled , standing up to look squarely at me " I've tried my best as your father to see that you have the best things and yet you turn against me just to pursue stupid careers aren't even worth it.."

" and whose choice is that? No! Who's life is that father? ...I'm the one doing who wants to go ahead with it, and  if you were really trying your best as you said you are you should be less selfish and try supporting me !"

" oh and I'm doing just that aren't I ?" He asked, his tone had sarcasm dripping down every word

" if I wasn't supportive I would never had asked you to go ahead and read that so called arts you're obsessed with"

I let out a humorless chuckle "you call it an obsession?  How about me calling your software architect a crazy obsession of yours which I driving you insane?" I asked. My voice dripping with so much venom laced in them.

he raised his hands to slap me then let them hang loosely on the air.his heart thumping abit loudly while his brown eyes immediately dilated. he balled his fist angrily he was so much like me but  I still can't believe how I did end up having him as a father cause right now what I could see standing infont of me was a self-centered dictator who had no ounce of care in him

He slowly brought down his hands, his heartbeat slowly calming down as he   lapsed  back on the chair which he sat on ..an intense silence hovering around the air instantly took control and only the thumps of heartbeats were heard. he then started slowly

" your mum died when you weren't up to two years old..she died in a car accident by a drunk driver...she loved  arts like her life.." he paused taking a deep breath before he resumed speaking..his voice came out shaky and the once staunch facade he had on had waved off. Replaced with that of a vulnerable old man who was still struggling with grief

" she had dreams of working in an art gallery and that day was her first day of work..we were all going to see her off but that faithful day,a drunk driver had crashed into us making the car tumble,she had brought you out of the car and proceeded to pull me out.but my legs were stuck in between the accelerator and the brake. The bonnet had already started wheezed out fire and before it could get to us, she had pulled me out but the car had exploded right before she could crawl her way far from the car..."  he paused, wiping a stray tears off his cheeks

" and the drunk driver?" I found myself asking.I wipped off  the streak of tears falling slowly on my cheeks..

" he was arrested we had him put in jail for murder..." he replied then raised his face at me

" when you were five, I noticed you had started painting and i thought it was just some hobby that wasn't that serious...but I was wrong cause it had become part of you.. I never told you about how your mum died and I never showed you her painting...that was because it reminded me so much of her..she was so stubborn..no matter how hard I tried dissuading her from taking that particular job at that gallery she insisted and now_"his voice broke down

" and now you think me taking up visual arts was going to resurface old memories huh?" I asked slowly, bringing my face to meet his now stoic expression..

" I don't want to have a deja vu of what happened in the past..but you insist and that's why I'm sending you abroad to do your college " he said with a note of finality.picking his car keys along, he strodded out leaving the atmosphere once again to be engulfed in total silence.

**********

I sat down in the visual arts studio together with sir Ahmed.so far he was the closet teacher to me and even though he most times didn't usually give advice, he was a good listener.

I hadn't seen meera throughout today and even when I saw her, I tried avoiding her..how was I going to tell her about me leaving for abroad after waec? She sure was going to be as worried as hell and I didn't want that to happen. She had already done so much for me, it would be good to put my problems on her

" it's like you have excess free day today?" Sir Ahmed said in a humour laced tone, cutting my trail of thoughts

I looked at him with a small smile.today was the day we were supposed to register our jamb and we were going to the crappy jamb office to do that..it was turn by turn and today was the turn of the art students.the SS3 were less busy cause of the jamb registration so there was ample free period

I shrugged "apparently"

He folded his arms around his chest as he let his eyes scrutinize my being from up to down

" are you okay?" He asked in concern

Well, damn I wasn't okay..I couldn't be okay not with the trail of disturbing thoughts that clouded my head

"My dad had agreed that I go ahead with the visual arts " I said slowly

His face broke into a huge smile as he clapped his hands joyfully

"Wow.. that's good news isn't it?!"he asked happily and I mustered to give him a small smile

" I guess it is"

"You don't seem happy though?" He asked, his smile slowly wearing off as he peered at me

" I am " I shrugged

"So what's the problem? "

" he says on the condition that I school abroad" I replied sadly.sir Ahmed's shoulders slacked off with him breaking into a deep sigh

"that's sad.. did you agree?" He asked

"Not like I have a choice" I said letting a deep sigh out.he patted my shoulder in sympathy

"I guess he has a reason for doing that then.."

"He's just being so scared and cowardly..like I'm trying to understand him and no matter how I try I can't help getting angry at him for being such a fret" I said exasperation

"Calm down dozie!!"sir Ahmed said calmly

"Just like you said, you're trying to understand him..everyone has his vulnerability and your dad isn't past that yet so try putting up with him..he's still your family afterall" sir Ahmed said

I couldn't help but agree with sir Ahmed he's still my family and no matter what, I should stick with him through thick or thin but I wondered when dad will get past the grief and move on cause so far, nothing was ever far done with us mourning over spilled milk and I'm sure mum wherever she was was so wishing we'd move on with our lives..

Meera

Sandwich, Adam and I were standing outside of the crappy jamb office were we were supposed to do our registration.

I wonder why we even had to come here when we could have just done the registration at school..I scanned the surrounding for dozie, he wasn't with us. I wondered where he would have wandered off too..infact, since today he had been acting strangely

Maybe his father scolded him yesterday when he saw me in his house my subconscious reasoned but I laughed it off

It's not like dozie is a little boy that even if he's dad was to scold him, he would avoid talking to me.yet, he really avoided talking to me when I saw him with sir Ahmed.

He had a stoic expression and he quickly averted his gaze to sir Ahmed like he had something interesting on his face..

Don't get me wrong! I'm just so mad at him ignoring me

"Where's dozie?" Sandwich asked me and i shook my head at her

" I dunno" she looked at me in dismay causing me to roll my eyes at her, then she turned to Adam

"Where's dozie? "

Adam just shrugged off the question. I had asked him the same thing earlier and he told me not to bother about dozie but who gives such a reply to a worried girlfriend?

Sandwich shrugged,probably giving up asking when a short round woman in spectacles hanging on the bridge of her nose called out gruffly

"Onome Danielle!!" She thundered causing a few people to shudder at her deep bass voice.the girl in question was rushing towards the lady when she tripped over someone's leg which caused her papers flying off her hands.

The lady immediately had started vexing, calling her a clumsy and sluggish little thing.

Heck! Sometimes, I wonder how these people managed to quickly throw Insults at you just because they know you'll have to pass through them before you get your forms and talk more of entering uni.

They will just be acting like they've made it in life

I was still paranoid about the woman's actions when I heard someone snort behind me

" serves her right..next time, she'd watch what she says to other people" a voice which I recognized to be Clara's own spat and I didn't need a soothsayer to tell me that she was responsible for the girl tripping off and the woman reigning insult on her

I swiftly turn my head towards clara, wearing a grim expression on my face as I retort

" you do know you're a waste of oxygen right?" I said calmly as sandwich laughed at Clara's horrified expression

"Oh shut up..it's not like she was talking to you"Angel retorted and i turn sharply at her

" really!?you know I could have replied you but I'm busy and you're ugly so you're free to go "I snapped

We were really drawing attention to our midst especially when Clara hissed angrily

" come meera or abi what do you call yourself just because you think you have sharp mouth doesn't mean if I want to treat your fuck up I wouldn't...so better respect yourself and mind your business" she ranted and I chuckled humorlessly

" that's something really intelligent to say clara..last time I checked, your hands were pretty withered to slap me back so don't try giving stupid threats to me cause I don't mind rearranging your face again"

" interesting!!" Angel exclaimed.clapping her hands dramatically before adding  "Just because we are outside school eehn, I would have dealt with your sorry brain..stupid!" Angel retort waving her fingers to my face  and I was going to give her the perfect comeback when sandwich beat me to it

" for someone like you Angel, it's better you keep your mouth shut and give the impression that your stupid rather than open it and remove all doubts " Annette fired and I didn't even know when I burst into laughter, together with the rest of our classmates who were drawn to our little fight

"Burn!" A random someone exclaimed and I couldn't agree less.

I high fived sandwich who smirked triumphantly at the defeated and red faced glare which clara and angel were shooting at us not until the grumpy lady from earlier came put again to call some of us in.

*********

I got home really tired and slumped myself on the bed, today was far from what I wished it to be.

Uju walked in minutes later, she was dressed in a blue denim and a white t-shirt, she donned her tee with a blue  denim jacket and a white sneakers. Maybe she was coming back from lectures today

Throughout yesterday, she didn't tell me what was wrong with her but I wasn't going to give up cause and moreover seeing her demeanour abit relaxed and excited, shouldn't I bring up why she was sobbing yesterday right?

Right?

I cleared my throat roughly, she turned around to look at me

"Hey mimi..how are you?"she asked.was that a rhetoric question cause she didn't seem like she wanted to hear my reply but I still asked anyway

" Uju..how are you?"I was asking her question back.she looked quite taking aback before she shrugged

"I'm good...never been more happy before" she replied plopping herself on the bed with a huge smile stretched on her face as she faced the ceiling

Okay...I also have never seen uju this excited in a long while sooooo....

" yesterday you were sobbing and today you're happy...what's going on?"I asked

She shrugged "i was just abit under the weather"

"Uju!!!" I called out. I knew she was lying because she just had to ease out a reply like that

She sighed "what??"

" I know you're lying" I said and and surprisingly laughed

"Aww..you know me this much abi?"

I bit my lips in reply patiently waiting for her to spill the bean

"Okay fine....remember that my studio director I once told you about " she asked as if it was some amebo discussion

"is it that one that you said that he was going through a bad time so he took it out on you?" I asked and she laughed

"Sha..you don't used to remember something good about someone"

"You didn't tell me something good about him na..though what about him?"

"He said he was going to sign me up with some company to be their model" she said happily and a big smile crept up my lips

I still don't know why she cried about it yesterday sha

" so did you agree or..." I drawled and she laughed

" of course i agreed" she said still smiling "but he gave a condition"

"That what?"

"I will have to sleep with him before he signs me up" she said in a 'duh' tone and my heart quickly dropped to my stomach in flat out disappointment

Was that why she was smiling so happily? Did she do it? Did she_ oh God. ..I didn't want to think about her answer yet I was curious so I asked

" did you accept his condition? "

She grinned widely at me, her eyes shone with mischief as she leaned in closer to me

"What do you think?" She asked