Chapter 37: Chapter 37

You can imagine how I felt when I woke up in an unfamiliar environment to Emrys’s disgusting face with eyes closed. It even disgusted me more when he noticed I was awake and tried to touch my hand with his ugly smile plastered on his face. That smile used to make me smile but all I could think of, was how to slap it off his face.

“Don’t touch me.”

I recoiled back on the bed like his touch was the devil’s and it burned me because it did a little. It wasn’t even a day after we had gotten together and I’d already lost him. It was obvious he was never meant to be mine.

Emrys sighed and removed his hand from mine. “I’m not here to hurt you.” “You’re the reason I’m here. Wherever this is.”

“We’re at Amara’s house. I took you to her because it was the only place, I could trust no one would barge in ready to stress you out even more.”

“You’re the reason I’m stressed.” I made it sound like that was the greatest hurt I felt, the reason why I was mad, but it was the easiest to deal with. “All because of your…your…” I couldn’t stand him. “Get out.”

“Just hear me out, please. You know deep down that you want to find out the truth of everything and I’m here to tell you everything you want to hear. Just listen to me this once. I won’t ask for anything else.”

I glared at him. “You’re in no place to be making demands.” “Can I just talk?”

“How long have I been here?”

He sighed. “Just a couple of hours, two probably. Brielle asked after you since you missed her wedding…”

“Whose fault was that?”

“…and I lied to her until Amara says you’re okay to go and I’ll take you back,” he finished totally ignoring my question.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Look, I’m going to explain myself and you’re going to listen to me whether you like it or not. I’m done playing nice.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder and I removed it, making sure to glare at him. “You don’t get to touch me like that anymore.”

“Come on, Paris, you can’t mean that.” I said nothing and he sighed. “I’m so sorry. I mean it. What would it take for you to forgive me?”

I turned away when I felt the tears prick my eyes. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I want to forgive you.”

I heard nothing for a while and I thought that he had gone but when I turned back to check, he was still standing there. I knew the guilt of all that had happened was eating him up, that might have been the only reason he had come, anyway. I turned my face away.

“Let me explain, please.”

I bit my lower lip because a part of me wanted to hear what the cheating bastard had to say. “Five minutes.” I sighed and turned to face him again. “Just five minutes and I want you to leave my life forever.”

“Ten,” he pleaded and I just nodded. “Look, Taniya is my betrothed and Ellarosa is my daughter out of an affair we had years back. We’re due to get married in six months and she came to see me since I was lonely. I got caught up in the excitement that we took things to the next level and I forgot I had a girlfriend.”

“W-Why didn’t you tell me?” my voice broke and I hated myself so much for being so weak. “Why did you lie to me?”

“Because I…” he raked his hands through his hair and sighed. “If I’d told you about her, I’d have to tell you the truth of everything and I didn’t want that.” I didn’t understand so I just kept quiet. “Remember when I told you that Leon was fighting with something I didn’t have?” I nodded. “He was fighting with love.”

“You said you loved me?”

It wasn’t meant to be a question but as the words left my mouth, it was there. The lift. The small plea for an answer. The small plea that he would be joking and I wouldn’t sit there with my heart crumbling.

He looked down. “We all say things we don’t mean sometimes.” “What are you trying to say?”

“I wasn’t in love with you, Paris. I was going to get married to Taniya some day and I’ve known that all my life. At first, I’d rebelled but after I got her pregnant, there was no way to get out of this. That was why I never dated. I didn’t want to get into a relationship with someone that wouldn’t last. Then I saw you and I thought I could just have the feeling of dating someone else. You know, the experience of being in love with someone that was natural.”

I bit my lip in hopes of stopping myself from crying and breaking down in front of him. “Was Taniya aware?” He nodded. “Why did it have to be me?”

“Y-You were there. I mean, you did everything to be with me and I guess I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“So, you played a game that would hurt me even more.” I let the tears fall down so he would see how much he had hurt me. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re not in love with me. All this while, you have really been in love with Leon. Just him. And you just had this image in your head you wanted to fill out so you loved him through me, the kind of man you wanted.”

“You can’t tell me what I felt!” I said angrily.

He smiled like I’d given him the reaction he was expecting. “I know you think you felt something for me. I know that because I did once upon a time. It was just something we both pictured in our minds.”

As much as that hurt, I guess I was beginning to see what he really meant to an extent. “That doesn’t explain why you would be so cruel to lead me on!”

“I didn’t want you broken. You’re not exactly the healthiest person on earth.”

“What a nice way of saying I’m sick,” I said and when he tried to say something, I cut him. “You said you loved me. You looked me in my eyes and told me that you loved me. Am I just a joke to you?”

“I did it for you. I didn’t want to hurt you.” “But you did!”

“You don’t even love me.” “I do! I fucking do!”

“You don’t!” he shouted. “It’s all in you head. You’re obsessed with perfect so much that you can’t see I’m not the guy you really love. How blind can you really be? I saw how you looked at Leon and God, you do not look at me that way. You lost your shit because he didn’t want to be around you anymore. Did you see what you turned into?

“I’m not going to stand here and tell you facts hoping that you would open your eyes and see the truth. It’s nearly ten minutes and I’m a man of my words. Just do the right thing before you lose the man that’s right for you. You deserve someone who thinks you’re too important to lose and that person has always been Leon.”

With those words, he spun on his heel and made to leave but once he was at the door, he stopped in his tracks and looked at me.

“You know, Leon was driving the car that nearly hit you. He was coming to see you, to make things right, and he beat the shit out of me when he found out what happened between us. I realized that you mean a lot to him. You still do.”

“He’s not here.”

Emrys gave me a small smile. “He’s just nursing a broken heart and now he knows his chances of being with you are smaller than they’ve ever been.”

He wanted to leave but I knew I couldn’t let him leave with the final word. I couldn’t let him think he had ruined me; he had broken me. I had to say something for my dignity.

“Wait,” I said with a sigh. “I was very fond of you but now, I am so tired. I am not happy to let you go but one doesn’t need to be happy to make a fresh start.” He smiled at that. “I need to be with someone who actually wants me and I finally see that, that person isn’t you.”

“Goodbye, Paris. You really are a great person,” he said and left.

“Just not great enough,” I said with a sad sigh then heard a sound then looked at the door to see Amara and Tobias walking in. “I’m too smart and sensitive to live in a world like ours.”

Tobias laughed as they both came to sit beside me. Amara squeezed my hand. “We heard you guys arguing and just thought to check if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine other than the apparent broken heart. Nothing a little ice cream wouldn’t solve,” I said at an attempt to sound cheery and all that.

“Do you need me to beat Emrys up?” Tobias asked, cracking his knuckles and I laughed. “I’m serious. Say the word and I’ll go after him.”

“Apparently, Leon already did that,” I said and Tobias gave me a strange look. “Has he asked about me?”

“Yes, I believe his exact words were ‘what can I do to get her to leave me alone?’.” I was about to cry because of that when he burst into laughter. “You should have seen your face! You would believe anything.”

Amara smacked his head. “That is not funny.”

Tobias rolled his eyes and smiled at me. “Between you and me, he’s the reason I’m here. He couldn’t come himself so he told me to check if you were okay. Of course, he also told me not to tell you that but here I am.”

“Well, at least that’s a little progress,” I said with a shrug even though I was feeling a little bubble of happiness inside me that Leon still cared. “Anyway, forget about my love life or lack of. Amara, how is Ryker?”

“Why are you asking?” she asked with a raised brow.

I rolled my eyes. “You like him. He likes you. Is it rocket science?”

Tobias gasped. “The Amara likes someone? I would like to meet the guy that was able to capture her heart.”

“He’s just as depressed and broody as she is,” I said and Tobias and I burst into laughter. “Well, he doesn’t like me,” she said with a frown after she glared at Tobias and I.

I sat up straighter and squinted. “Hasn’t he made any romantic gesture like I advised him to?”

“Not exactly. Oh wait, I remember one time but he bought me flowers,” she said, scrunching up her nose as she did.

Tobias rolled his eyes. “Excuse me, Queen of Darkness, but some people actually consider that sweet.”

“Oh,” she said, still scrunching up her nose and we laughed. “I guess he’s just as bad at this as I am.”

“Both of you will figure it out along the way,” Tobias said as he gave her a small pat on her shoulder.

“I wish my love life was as simple as this. You like me. I like you. Se finis. Why do I have to go through the pain of being stupid and loving someone who only sees me as a joke? I’m stupid and I guess the only reason I found myself in this mess is because, in some ways, I am nothing other than a weak person. A fool.”

Tobias’s eyes softened and he exchanged looks with Amara before saying, “You are braver than you think for the simple reason that you still love as much as you do. It takes a great amount of courage to see the world the way it is, to see people the way they are, and still love it.”

I smiled at him. “Have I told you how much you sound like Leon?” He chuckled deeply. “Almost every time we talk.”

I nodded then bit my lip and asked a question I knew the answer to. “Why is he avoiding me?”

“You really want to know, huh?” I nodded. “Because he keeps falling more and more in love with you, okay? He can’t keep doing that to himself.”

“I didn’t ask for this,” I said with a sigh as I raked my hands through my hair. “If only we could just talk this out.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe that’s what he’s scared of?” Amara asked with a raised brow and I sighed. “Look, I have to go out with Ryker and you look like you need to be somewhere other than here so do you want to come?”

I rolled my eyes. “I love being a third wheel. It’s so fun. This isn’t sarcasm, by the way.” Amara raised a brow and I laughed. “I don’t want to go with you because I’ll be left to think about my terrible luck at love.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to stick around. You could just be far away having fun on your own.”

“That will be worse. Don’t worry about me. Go and enjoy yourself. I’ll stay here and be miserable.”

“That isn’t reassuring,” she said with a slight frown and I smiled at her. “Okay, then, I have to go before I’m late.”

Amara sighed, squeezed my hands again, and gave me a fleeting smile then gave Tobias a pat on his back that looked more like a slap before leaving. Tobias glared at her but she was already gone by then.

“Would you like to stay with me?” he asked with a soft look in his eyes.

I smiled. “I’ll be fine. I don’t plan on committing suicide. Just do me a favor and let Brielle know where I am. She must be worried.”

“I’ll do just that,” he said as he stood up. “Make sure you get some rest. You really need it.” “Will do.”

If only it was as easy as it was saying it.