Chapter 80: Chapter 80

I'm excited when the next morning rolls around. I’m eager to build a rapport with Scott and Mira. I layer on the sweaters and don snow pants. Scott and I have breakfast early since we have to be on the ice for 8:45 to teach them. Scott and I keep our conversation light. The subject of what happened to me or his mother’s health is quickly becoming taboo. Deep down I know my assault is the reason for the success of the show. It is only our second week of taping and we already had just over two million viewers and growing fast. The show is a hit at my expense. We arrive on time at the rink. It is invigorating to be in a cold arena in the morning watching champion figure skaters tear up the ice. Scott summons the pair who skate to him. Their cheeks are pink from the cold, and their spirits seem slightly elevated from the previous day.

Scott looks handsome. He was wearing Nike workout pants and a white turtleneck. His sports jacket is zipped closed but after stroking for five or ten minutes he got hot and stripped off his jacket. I don’t think there is a girl on the ice who doesn’t notice how great he looks with it off. It reminds me of when I saw Scott skating for the first time. He was the only skater I knew who practiced in a wife-beater T-shirt. I insisted that if I was going to skate with him, he would have to lose the shirt.

Mira is much shorter than Scott. She is dressed in tight leggings and a hoodie. The hood is left down and her dark chestnut brown hair is secured in a ponytail off her face trailing down her back. She is the one Michael said needs the most work with Nelly on choreography. They skate back over to us after they rehydrate. For almost the next half hour, we watched the two of them skate and then the flood begins and they got off the ice.

We go our separate ways. After Scott eats lunch, he goes back to our room and watches television while I sleep. I can feel him on the bed next to me. His scent is nice and familiar. He lets me sleep until twenty minutes before we have to be back on the ice. Scott kisses my cheek to wake me. We look at each other for a millisecond and I can’t help wondering what he could have seen in me or why he has so much patience with me. How and why he will ever take me back after I went back to Michael is beyond me. It makes me sick still thinking about Michael’s ferocious temperament. Images of him invade my thoughts frequently.

For the remainder of the day, I work on editing the film with Justin and have my dinner with the other coaches. I don’t think I have a minute to myself all day. I think Scott has something to do with that, but I don’t complain. He is making sure I’m okay and for that I’m grateful.

Scott says, “I have something to show you. Let’s go back to our room. By the way, Justin spoke with the woman who runs this Village and you have a new room on this floor. I have the key. You don’t have to move in there until you are ready.”

“What if I'm scared?”

“Then stay or come back to me. You can stay with me forever,” he says longingly.

We go back to the room and Scott instructs me to close my eyes. He opens the door and in front of the bed are two boxes. I know right away what they were. I squeal with delight. Our skates arrived!

“When can we skate?” I ask enthusiastically.

“We’ll go on after the last flood of the night. It will just be you and me.” “I can’t wait,” I said eagerly. I opened the box with my name on it. I pull

my boots from the box and I take a long sniff of them.

Scott laughs, “That’s just gross.”

In the final session, the skaters leave the ice and it is flooded for the next day. Scott and I race to put our skates on like two adolescents. It has been quite some time since we did our last show together, so we start slowly. It's like riding a bike for us, cathartic. Scott leaves me on the ice alone for a few minutes while he goes into the music room and plays a slow tape of songs, ones both of us love listening to. Singers like Usher, Timberlake, Bieber, and my favorite song, “Say Something I’m Giving Up on You.”

When Scott and I begin to feel comfortable on the ice. I stare into his eyes. He is so strong and handsome. He never really changed from the time we used to compete as a pair. Neither of us moved. Scott holds me close for a second, and I’m not scared. It’s okay, more than okay. Caught up in the moment, and before I can stop myself words surge from my lips, “I love you, Scott.” He kisses me returning the sentiment.

“You don’t know how badly I needed to hear that,” he confides. “I love you too.”

Scott takes me by the hand and we circle the ice. “Let’s do some throws,” he says excitedly. When we tire, he puts his arm around me the way he always does, and we glide around the ice a few more times. Tears fall down my cheeks. It is the first time I feel a hint of hope.

Scott looks at me concerned, “This is the first time I've ever seen you cry while we were on the ice together and not competing.”

I half-smile at him. “Who needs a Zamboni when I’m on the ice?”

“Do you remember when we bombed our program in the Paris competition? You bawled like a baby while Coach yelled at us! Good times.” He is trying to get a smile out of me, and it's working.

“I was in pain,” I argue. “My foot was sore.”

“No, you were crying because you knew your screw-up cost us that title!”

We stop skating when we get to the boards and head back to the Village in silence. Scott carries both bags. It’s in that moment I have an epiphany: Scott is my hero, everything to me, always was, forever will be. Something inside of me stops me from telling him though. I’m not sure if the fear is from getting hurt or hurting him again. When we arrive back at the Village he asks me, “What do you want to do?” I think for a minute and staying longer in his room is imposing myself on him, so I chose to leave.

“I’ll take the new room. It’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?” he asks. “I’ll show you where it is and let you in. Then I’ll get some of your stuff so you can get ready for bed.”

“Thanks,” I say. We walked to the new room and he leaves me alone with my skating bag. It is quiet there, lonely. Scott is only gone a few minutes, and when he comes back, he has almost all my belongings. I open the door for him and subsequently start putting away all the stuff he brought over. It doesn’t take long.

He says, “I’ll bring the rest of your stuff over in the morning before breakfast. Remember, Come back anytime. You have my number! I’m going to miss you.”

“Sure, thanks Scott, for everything,” I say. Scott goes to the door and lets himself out. I watch him walk down the hallway back to his room. I want to go after him but encouraging him to stay with me so I won’t be alone is just delaying the inevitable.

Everybody is excited on the morning of makeovers. Two stretch white limousines are hired for this episode. Justin and I go through all the footage and decide what we are going to use. The makeover show is always my favorite episode of any reality show. I want theirs to be outstanding as well. I know the changes have to be dramatic and the skaters will be emotional. We have optimal weather for taping. It is unusually mild, so we all wore light jackets. The sun is shining and the chrome on the cars is gleaming. The air is filled with the fragrance of spring, and buds are winking from the tree limbs. Downtown Owerri is plagued with traffic, but we are commuting after nine.

We pulled up to the salon and have the camera operator jump out of the car. The cars drove around the block again to film the limousines arriving at the salon. We have the competitors get out of the car and act slightly more thrilled than they were. Last week's previous anticipation transformed to dread.