Chapter 56: Chapter 56

It was almost midnight and we are just getting onto the highway. Scott is quiet which is becoming his new norm. I buckle my seatbelt and lean my head against the passenger side window closing my eyes. He puts my favorite track on with the volume on low and I drift off, I awaken to him carrying me effortlessly into our apartment, but I pretend to still be sleeping. My arms are wrapped around his neck and my head is nestled into his chest. The faint scent of aftershave still lingers on his skin.

I wonder if this is the last time he’ll ever carry me. He lowers me onto the bed and begins undressing me. He unclasps my bra from the front and then gently places both his hands on my breasts, caressing them without disturbing me. I focus on his soft touch. He removes his hands and the cold air hits my breasts for a second and then I feel pressure by my nipple as he presses his lips against me. It hardens in response to him and I have to fight the urge of shoving my breast into his mouth. He is being a very naughty boy, and I love it.

He suckles my nipple forgetting himself, taking it with his teeth, he nips at it. There is no way I can pretend to sleep through that. He takes my other nipple in- between his demanding fingers and pinches it hard while pulling it away from my body. I cry out in ecstasy giving myself away. I open my eyes to find him staring at me, as his tongue fills my mouth. He kisses me feverishly with his eyes wide open. I want to succumb to his every need, his touch, his mouth, and most of all his cock, wanting him to absorb me.

He stops kissing me for a second and as he caresses my cheek, he asks, “I have a few questions for you, but first I want to know, can I make love to you?”

“Yes,” I answer breathlessly, “since you asked so politely.” He chuckles and then laces his fingers through mine and raises both my hands above my head, “When Michael pulled you into the bathroom, you never admitted it but you enjoyed kissing him didn’t you?” I don’t answer.

“Answer,” he demands raising his voice.

“Yes.”

“I thought so,” he says with disgust.

“When you showed your mother the picture, you never once considered her feelings did you?”

“No,” I readily admit, “I was angry beyond reason.”

“When you saw Michael tonight you were attracted to him weren’t you?”

“No,” I lied.

“Don’t bullshit me, you froze up, I could feel you doing it. I know your body better than you know it.”

“No,” I waiver.

“Don’t lie to me Isa. I’m partners with you. Your body is an extension of mine. I can feel it just by holding your hand. You can’t lie to me about that.”

“I was just shocked by his transformation. I don’t think I’m attracted to him.”

“Admit it,” he broods.

“Maybe a little,” I confess. “Is that what you want to hear?”

“I just want the truth.”

“Yes! I’m attracted to him,” I say honestly.

“After all we’ve been through Isa, you know how much I love you.” “You don’t need to be insecure,” I reassure him. He pushes himself off the bed choosing to forgo on our last time together,

“I’m not insecure, I’m leery.”

I linger in bed long after I wake up. The sun is peaking through the blinds and casting shadows on the opposite wall. I reach for my phone sitting on the night table and check my messages. There are four:

LARA: Isabella how R U? Franky isn’t latching. Why can’t she just eat cheeseburgers?

LARA: 4got 2 tell U, Jeremy want’s me 2 change Frankie’s name. Can U talk to him?

ANNA: Pls don’t take offence but if U & Scott split, can we have dibs on your flat?

SCOTT: Picking up food. We’ll talk when I get back.

I replace my phone back on the night stand and select the clothes I’m going to wear for the day. I wanted to freshen up before Scott gets back so I take a shower. I can only imagine what he wants to talk about. I hear the door open just as I finish my hair. He puts the groceries away when I join him in the kitchen, “Hi Scott.”

“Hi Isa, there is two different types of croissants in the bag.”

“Thanks,” I say reaching for the coffee pot. I grab a mug and a large dish from the cabinet and start laying out the croissants he bought.

He pulls a chair out for me at the breakfast table before taking his own, “We need to discuss our living arrangements. I promised you the apartment, so if you want it take it you can. I need time to find another place.” The day and a half’s worth of stubble on his beautiful squared off jaw distracts me. I can’t tell if he hasn’t showered yet or just decided not to shave today.

“Your mother doesn’t think I should have it.”

“It’s not my mother’s decision to make, its mine.”

“If one of us has to move, it should be me,” I volunteer. “I’m not even sure I want to finish Uni.”

He starts rubbing the stubble on his face looking obscenely attractive in a raw sort of way, “I didn’t just hear that.”

“You sure did, my hearts not into it. I might take a year off. If you don’t want the place you can offer it to Andy and Anna, they want the flat. I need time to figure out what I’m going to do.”

“Take all the time you need, “he offers.

“I will,” I say getting up from the table.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To pack and then your guess is as good as mine. I’ll send for my stuff once I’ve settled.”

“Now? You’re leaving already?”

“Sure, don’t you have class?” I ask trying to distract him.

“It starts at ten.”

“It’s ten.”

“Well, I guess I’m missing it.” He says irritably. “Isabella, I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’ll see you Monday at the press conference.” I turned away from him and go to my room. I know I’m doing the right thing, but it so hard. He leaves me alone giving me time to pack.

“You need help with your bags?” He asks. “Please.”

He carries them to dad’s car for me, “Call me when you get to wherever you’re going.”

“You stopped taking care of me months ago, it’s too late to start now. I’ll see you Monday,” I tell him.

I opened the door with my head held high and go into the car not showing any sign of weakness. His brown eyes look longingly into mine and his chocolate wisps drape over his eyes, making him appear profoundly sad. I roll down the window of my shit box and Scott leans on the frame, “Take care of yourself Isa,” he says.

I wanted to cup his cheeks in the palms of my hands and kiss those tender lips of his but my desires are making everything so much harder on me. His eyes burn through me feeling like it’s the last time we’ll ever see each other. My willpower isn’t strong enough, and I reach for him, cupping his stubbly face in my hands just the way I want to. I picture myself pulling him closer to me and our lips meeting in a kiss that will rock my world and fuck it, not able to stop myself, I do. I pull him an inch or two closer and then I let my lips press firmly against his and I don’t want to pull away, can’t pull away, but this nagging bitch ass of a voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me that I’m just going to get hurt again and I rip my lips from his even though I yearn to keep them there and then he leans away from the car with a single tear falling down that beautiful cheek of his, I force myself to let go of him and my heart starts gushing like it’s suffering this pandemonium death, I just want to curl up in his muscular arms and feel safe again, never letting him let go of me.

I force myself to turn the key in the ignition and without another word he steps away from the car and my hand hits the shifter dropping it roughly into drive as I press on the gas, I speed away from the love of my life. Nothing can be more painful than what I’m feeling now.

Luckily, I’m safely out of site as this wave of grief forces its way passed my illusionary dam of strength I created. Tears that threatened to break free moments ago are now blinding me. After a few minutes, I hastily wipe them away and restart the car, worrying that Scott might find me weeping pathetically. I have two packed bags, four hundred dollars, and a cell phone with 80 percent battery left, and no place to go. I drive towards Lagos not sure whether I should fly back to Abuja and live with mom and Aunt Grace or not. What other choice is there? I know mom is going to freak out on me when she finds out I’m not going back to school this year, maybe never.

Then it clicks as I start driving again, I’m staring at this break in the clouds that the sun is shining through. It’s from the heavens above, like a higher being is speaking to me. Suddenly my destination is obvious: Coach Tammy’s house. There is no car in the driveway, but I park there anyway. I knock on the door and then ring the bell, no answer. I leave my belongings in the car with the doors locked and walk across the busy street to the arena. His back is turned to me when I get inside so I’m able to sneak up on him. I cover his eyes with my hands and wait for him to guess who it was.