Chapter 23: Chapter 23

He surrounds me and as we sway in harmony I hum. The song I hum is a song I have heard many others sing as they work in the fields. It is a song about finally finding love and being at peace with another. It is very fitting of the moment.

He wraps his arms tighter around my waist at the tune and sways to its melody. I settle into the warmth of him at my back and lay my arms across his. It feels almost as if our bodies dance even though we barely move. I close my eyes to savor the feeling.

When my eyes open a short time later I look out the mouth of the cave and know that soon it will be dark. We will have to leave our solitude and part once more. The thought has my eyes mist a little at leaving this perfect moment in time. However, I do not want to anger my father, so I tap Draco’s hand that lays underneath mine.

“Hmm” he says as if he is resting.

I sigh happy that he feels the same peace that I find. “It will be getting dark soon” I inform him. “I wish we could stay here longer.”

“I too have that same wish, but I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble. We must go” he says.

I rise from his lap and give a small stretch. When I look at him he is looking at me from head to toe. He rises from the blankets and stands before me. As he stretches I look at him as he has done me. With realization I think to myself I will remember this moment always. He grasps my hand and leads me toward the mouth of the cave. I stop to blow out the lantern and we begin the journey to my hut.

Draco

The walk back to her hut is a quiet one. I feel so at peace with our time together that I feel nothing needs to be said. She must feel the same to as she walks quietly at my side. I stand before her and pull her into my embrace once more. As I kiss her hair I smell her once more. She pulls out of my embrace and turns for her hut. She pauses at her door waving her goodbye before she enters.

As I make my way home I hum the tune she did as I held her. Someday I will have to ask her for the words. The sweet melody brings harmony and peace to my soul. It makes me feel as if I still hold her in my arms even though the distance grows between us.

I walk into my home still humming. As I ready for bed that melody stays in my head. When I lie on my kang I hum some more and with a smile on my face I fall to sleep peacefully.

The next morning when I head down to breakfast I pause when I realize both of my parents are at the table. I think of the days and realize that my ba is not supposed to be here. This cannot be good I think. As I take my seat I mentally prepare myself to have the day ruined. Looking into my father’s gaze as I am served oats I try to place his mood to see if it will be a day I must visit my tree.

“I am told that you have been returning back to the estate late almost every day, Draco” he states.

“Yes ba, I have been taking many walks and trying to enjoy my freedom while I still can” I lie. If he knew about my spending time with Io I do not know what he would do.

“Freedom. People keep bringing up that word to me.” He says looking at my mother. “It has been brought to my attention so many times that it has made me think.” He states rubbing his finger on his chin. “What do you think of as freedom”? He asks.

“Freedom would be to decide my own fate. To choose what I do with my life and to choose who I am to marry to bear my heirs” I maintain.

“Kawa, excuse us” he orders my mother. She throws a small smile my way and quickly leaves the room. “Have his food brought down here and then leave the room” he orders the servants. As I walk down to his end of the table to take my seat I feel my hands start to shake. He has not yelled but I never know how his mood will go. “Sit. Eat” he orders me.

I begin eating my food quickly. If he is in a mood I want to end the conversation as quickly as possible. As I eat I steal glances at him waiting for the first blow to come my way. When I see him shift I freeze in place only to sigh when he sits back.

“I have been in contact with Xiyi father of your future bride. He tells me she is stubborn and remains jealous that you may desire others. This I do not condone. A man should be free to choose who he wants and at this station however many that may be.” He dictates. I furrow my eyebrows wondering where he is going with this conversation. “I have been in council with your mother and rather than choose a new bride for you myself, she insists that I have a talk with you on the subject as she has done since my announcement. This night she even announced she will cast me from her bed if I do not.” He says begrudgingly.

“I’m sorry ba, I don’t understand what that has to do with me.” I inform him.

“It seems that regardless of my wishes you may not be marrying Shee so I am asking do you have someone you would want as your bride?” He questions.

I wonder how he would feel if I were to tell him the truth. There are differences between Io and me. He wanted Shee because she was of the same station as I or close to it. Could it possibly be he is asking me to try and give me what I want? I think I am going to take this chance.

“Yes, ba. There is another I wish to take as my bride” I tell him. He rubs his chin in thought again.

“You have said nothing of this. A man who does not speak for himself will gain nothing. You should know better than that.” He berated me. I nod my head knowing this is going to lead to a lecture instead of a conversation. It always does.

“Speak. Now, to my face. Tell me what it is you want” he bellows.

“I… uh, I want the woman I choose for my bride. I do not want an arrangement. It will not make me happy. I want love” I murmur. I look down at the table. I do not need to see his reaction. He is angry. Things never go my way when he is angry.

“Well…. That was not so hard, right?” He asks. I stay silent believing the question to be rhetorical.

“I have done much in this life to fulfill your needs. You have the best things money can buy. When I hear of something you want or need I try to fulfill it. Do you have any idea the predicament you have put me in by not speaking.” He demands.

This causes me to get angry blow dare he. “Every time I go to speak on something you say, it is dismissed. Your word is law because you are the general. When I do not give you what you want I am punished. I grew tired so chose to say nothing.” I declare.

“Look at me” he says. So, I do I look right into his eyes. I clench my jaw waiting for the blow. But what I see in his gaze is no longer anger. If I knew the generals emotions, I would say he looks hurt. “I am you ba. You are my er zi. My first born. What made you think that I would not care about something as monumental as your future? That I do not want to know how you feel?” He pleads.

“I…. Well…..you come but once a week. You spend most of that time with ma. Instead of embracing me you berate me about something I have done. Instead of asking what I want you tell me how it will be. I do not know you. I know not what will make you anger or cause you to be violent. I can only recall so many of your smiles. I tried to defend myself when you said I was to be married. You would have none of it.” I explain.

“I berate you because you are young and in need guidance. My anger was only ever meant to discipline you. You are my first-born son and I know not how to have a conversation with you. It burdens me that I have made a choice for your future, and it has caused you to hate me.” He says.

“I do not hate you ba, I just don’t know you” I confess.

Neither one of us can look at the other. This conversation has gone in a direction I never thought with my father. I feel relief at having gotten some of this off my chest. However, sitting here with all this tension in the air, I do not know what to say.

“I will have to make arrangements. Things cannot stay as they are.” He says.

“What do you mean?” I question.

“Instead of giving you an order as you say, what if it were a proposition?” He asks.

“You mean a plan of action? For you or for me?” I ask in return.

“Both of us” he says. At this I have to look up. That would make us on equal standing. We could both get what he wants. In his eyes I see hope and it causes me to have some of my own. “You will…” he stops himself from speaking to begin again. “I request that you come with me for seven days instead of attending studies. To get to know me and to see what I do. So, I can also get to know you” I nod because so far this isn’t sounding to bad. At my nod he smirks before continuing. “In return I will give you seven days to court your choice of bride. We can even have a dinner here in her honor when she says yes.” He finishes.

“Yes, I agree. I agree to the proposition.” I say smiling at him. I would agree to anything to not have to hide Io. I hope she will be able to understand why I would need to be away so long. Oh and Shee will understand…. but my ba does not know about that. “What will happen to Shee”? I ask him.

“Well, that is the predicament I spoke of earlier. We can see if her family would like to be compensated for a waste of their time and so they will not speak about this. Hopefully, I can arrange to have the celebration stopped in time. However, we must act accordingly and still keep up with the courting gifts until we come to a decision. I am afraid though that if they do not want further compensation you will be required to marry her so that we are not a forsaken name. Do you understand that Draco?” He says.

“Yes, I do” I lie. I already know that Shee does not want to marry me. That deal is already done but my ba will have to get proof in his own way.

As I look at my ba I find myself shocked that he still wears a smile on his face. I do not think I have seen him smile this long ever. It feels good to not have him angry in my presence.

“I am glad that it is all settled. I do dread when your ma is mad at me. I… uh I am also happy you do not hate me.” He says a bit stiffly.

“I also do not like when ma is mad. If she is anything besides happy she is intolerable. Well, it’s like she’s a… an ummm….” I say unable to complete the thought.

“A raging storm” he offers. As we both think about it for a second we break out into laughter at the water joke. It fits her completely.

As we are still laughing she walks back into the room. As we see the gleaming smile on her face out it dies down.

“I am glad to see your talk went well. It pained me to see both of you unhappy.” She says slipping to my father’s side. We nod at her in turn. We would not have gotten here if it were not for her. She leans down to kiss his cheek and then she kisses mine. He returns a kiss to her cheek with a smile. My jaw drops at the display of affection. They have never shown any in front of me. When he sees that I am still looking, he blushes and clears his throat.

“Off you go Draco. Your morning has been started off late and I imagine you have a lot of catching up to do” he declares.

“Yes, ba” I say. For once it happily comes out of my mouth.