Chapter 20: Chapter 20

“I want to take you to lunch.”

“Breakfast is barely over and you’re already thinking about food again?” Sabrina chuckled as she loaded the dishwasher. The guys had made her French toast and for them a side of eggs and bacon to go with it. She couldn’t pack away nearly as much food as they apparently could, but she’d enjoyed watching them eat it. It also made her a touch jealous because there was no way in hell she could consume that many calories in one sitting without it going straight to her thighs.

“Then dinner.” Conner was insistent. He wanted to take her out, to show her off. Sabrina was still on the fence. She wanted those things, of course, but she couldn’t help considering his brothers in the equation. Where did they fit? How did they all fit together? It seemed like someone was always going to get left out.

Sabrina busied herself with the dishes and then wiping the already clean counters, not sure how to answer him.

Conner approached and stood waiting on the opposite side of the counter. “’Brina, I want to take you out. We haven’t been out since that farce of a dinner date with the old man, what’s his name?”

“Mr. Thomas,” she supplied, thinking back on the night fondly. Although Henry was an old codger with a tendency toward sexist, he was kind and, at times, sweet. At least with her.

“Right. Well, that was business. I want to do something with you that’s purely pleasurable.”

She flashed him a coy smile and a heated and altogether suggestive look. For the better half of two days, they’d spent all of their time between the sheets, making up for lost time and hurt feelings. Sabrina’s body was so worn out, she was surprised she didn’t have callouses between her thighs instead of bruising from being ridden so hard.

There was still the question of William and Oliver that she was concerned about though.

Casting her gaze toward the living room not twenty feet away where they sat watching TV and trading pages of the morning newspaper, she lowered her voice. “What about your brothers?”

Sure, they’d shared showers and cuddled in front of the tube to watch movies together, one-on-one, over the weekend, but was it enough?

Conner’s eyebrows pinched together. “What about them?”

She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “We’re supposed to be an us, right?” He nodded and she continued. “Then how is that supposed to happen when we’re always doing everything separate?” Maybe she was making this all more complicated than it had to be.

“I thought you didn’t want to out that there’s an ‘us’ right now? We agreed that it wouldn’t be beneficial for people to find out that we’re together. I know the world is supposedly more accepting of unconventional relationships now, but polyamorous relationships still turn more heads and cause more friction than, say, homosexual ones,” Conner argued. “I don’t see how we can get around that if we venture out as a unit.”

“Maybe not right now…” Sabrina trailed off, knowing he was right and that she was also right to be concerned. Still, she couldn’t deny how unfair it was that they had to hide and keep secrets just to be together. It didn’t bode well for any relationship, and theirs was more challenging than most.

“Later, if this lasts,” Conner said as he extended a comforting hand across the cool marble and held hers, “we’ll take that leap. But right now, this is all too new to take risks for either side. It’s better if we play it cool and see how it all plays out.”

Sabrina couldn’t help feeling stung by his words. To her, it made it seem dirty, what they were doing. It made it feel like Conner wanted to hide his connection to her, as if he were ashamed. She knew, logically, that was absurd, since he was the one who announced wanting to take her out into the world and have her on his arm. But the little thread of insecurity inside of her had been poked, and it was hard to ignore.

“We want you, ‘Brina. Don’t ever doubt that.” Conner’s earnest words came at exactly the right time, as if he knew what she’d been thinking. “If all of this works out, if it looks like it’s heading into serious territory, then trust that there isn’t a thing my brothers and I wouldn’t do to protect what’s ours.”

Staring deeply into his eyes, Sabrina found that she believed Conner. And a quick glance at William and Oliver only reinforced it. They must have overheard a piece of the conversation, because they were looking over their shoulders at them, and they wore the same earnest expression as Conner. That settled it, Sabrina thought fiercely. She wasn’t going to continue feeding the doubts. She was going to enjoy the moment instead, and rest secure in the knowledge that she had three handsome men by her side who wanted to be with her, who cared enough about her to swim against the current and take a chance.

And, therefore, she was willing to do the same.

Withdrawing her hand from beneath Conner’s, she stood tall and tossed the damp rag she’d been using for cleaning into the sink basin. “I’ll go get dressed and we can head out.”

Conner appeared like a man who’d just won a battle. A brilliant smile rose into place and he nodded, stepping back from the counter. “I’ll be in the living room waiting.”

“With bells on, I hope.” Sabrina winked and got moving, eager to see where this new day would lead her.

***

The beach was amazing this time of year. As it was always a good ten degrees colder by the water, she didn’t feel the heat of the day so much as she felt the chill of the coming fall, which was still a couple of months away. Cinching closer to Conner, she soaked up as much of his natural body heat as she could manage.

“Cold?” He chuckled, as if finding it amusing that she was freezing her butt off.

“Nope. Just looking for an excuse to get closer to you,” she commented offhandedly. Although it wasn’t untrue. Sabrina did want to get closer to the Hargreaves. The more time she spent with them, with her guard—mostly—down, the more she wanted to glean every ounce of information she could about them. She was like a starving person, needing to learn more and more, soaking it up like a sponge and finding herself still hungry.

“Oh, my sweet, you don’t ever need an excuse.”

His soft words were just what she needed to hear. Sabrina couldn’t get enough of this side of Conner. In this moment, he was nearly perfect. Her dream man brought to life.

After their brunch/lunch in a little restaurant overlooking the boardwalk, they’d decided to take a walk along the beach. As she sank her toes into the sand, Sabrina could think of no better way to spend the day than this. Conner hadn’t used his wealth or influence to wine and dine her. He didn’t seem to feel the need to go above and beyond to impress either. Instead, whether he knew it or not, he’d appealed to Sabrina’s down-to-earth side, the one that she retreated to each day after work.

This was Sabrina’s true idea of bliss. A simple walk on the beach, the sun in her hair and on her skin, the breeze cool and crisp and bringing with it an earthy scent that made her feel at peace down to her marrow.

And a man on her arm that was at once strong and foreboding and sweet and gentle and kind. Was it possible that he was her perfect match, in and of himself? Had she judged wrong in thinking that the Hargreaves brothers had to be a package deal in order to fulfill her needs?

She looked up at Conner through the bright sunlight and sighed inside. She didn’t know what the right answer was.

“What are you thinking about?” Conner’s question caught her by surprise. How did he seem to always know that she was in the midst of internal struggle?

Deciding to be honest, she said, “About us. All of us.” Sabrina cast her gaze ahead of them as the stepped up onto the long and winding walkway paved in concrete and surrounded by fine sand on the left and green, neatly cut grass on the right. “I just keep wondering if I’m making the right decision pursuing this thing with the three of you, or if I should be choosing just one. I can’t help thinking it’s going to get messy down the road.”

Even now, William and Oliver were back at her place, cast onto the sidelines yet again, in favor of her spending one-on-one time with Conner. There had to be some resentments brewing over their older brother always getting first dibs, right?

“You think too much,” Conner accused. “Although I see your point, I have to say again that we know exactly what we’re getting ourselves into. There are no jealousies or hurt feelings. Nothing that is going to get, as you say, ‘messy.’ Unless you let it.”

“Well, I don’t want to let it,” Sabrina defended, her voice rising. “I just don’t see how it couldn’t.”

“It won’t.” He sounded so sure, his words final. It was clear Conner was confident that he and his brothers had this handled, and that she was the only one complicating things, seeing problems where they didn’t currently exist or need to.

Sabrina had no desire to continue this line of conversation, knowing it would eventually lead to an argument that would breathe life into exactly what she’d been voicing concerns over.

“All right, if you say that it’ll be fine, then I’ll believe you.” She sighed and pasted on a smile. “So, what do you want to do with the rest of the day?” She hoped it involved his brothers, because the longer they spent out together alone, the guiltier she felt for leaving them behind.

Conner looked up toward the sky, using his arm around her shoulders to prop him up while she led the way so he could ponder the question. “Well…how about we head back home after we leave here, get our bathing suits, and go swimming.”

The apartment building housed an Olympic-sized pool on its first floor near the gym. She’d only used it a few times since she’d moved in, never enjoying being there alone. Now, it looked like she’d have the opportunity to try again. Maybe this time, she’d have more fun too!

“That sounds like a great idea.” After all, it was too chilly to get into the lake water, but the alternative would be just as enjoyable.

“Good, because I saw that tiny thing you call a bikini in your dresser drawer and I can’t wait to see you in it,” Conner purred, lowering his mouth to hers. They didn’t miss a step as they continued walking and he kissed her soundly on the mouth, even slipping her a bit of tongue in the process and sparking Sabrina’s imagination.

Her mind spun as they headed back to the car. He was right, the bikini was pretty skimpy. She’d been in a daring mood when she’d bought it, and now she was a little shy thinking of wearing it for her guys. Knowing them, though, she wouldn’t be wearing it for long. The question was, would she make it to the pool, or would they spend another day in the bedroom?