Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Tunde°

I have captured her in my mind before in several positions but nothing I sketch or paint on my canvas, ever represents her beauty the way I want. I will not give up. I stroke the nose of the figure on my canvas that would soon be alive when I give it eyes. Eyes are the breath of any painting.

I still remember the way she looked at me thinking I was going to speak but I always said nothing but watched her like she watched me just like that day, the last time in her house, I easily accepted my fate. Not that I could not fight for her but I did not want to be a bother where my presence or calls would become irritating to her.

I shake my head to clear it but her thoughts remain stubborn as always. I had to put a rein on my thoughts because I knew why she let me go. I must have been a boring person. I tried so hard to keep a lively conversation but I must have failed but as for the reason she gave, it would never make sense to me. She is beautiful, she deserves happiness. I do not plan to ruin that. I will not deny that most mornings, I prayed that God will redirect her to me.

I try to concentrate on my painting but it is hard. Mornings are always this way for me. It is as the sun begins to find its way through the glass window, that I am able to focus on the work for the day.

I go out to the gallery. It is a pleasant sight for me. It is a constant reminder of how gracious God is. I imagine when Nene would see this place. She would probably walk around with her hands behind her like an inspector, wearing a fine smile on her face. That day, maybe she would wear a gown that hugs her body revealing her slim waist and hips or she would wear one of those flare trousers that bulged her buttocks more with a fitted blouse that clung to her skin and showed the flatness of her tummy. I can not imagine the words she would say but I can hear  the sound of her heels as she moves around.

The young boy that works with me, actively leads people around. I love the way he does it. You would think he did the paintings because he explains them too well, even though I do not think a painting needs to be explained. It has a mouth and it speaks once one looks at it.

I walk further into the hall and entertain questions from a few customers. Most people did not come here to purchase a painting. They came like tourists; to admire the paintings, ask questions and take pictures.

After meeting upto three people, I return to my studio which is not small and is more orderly than my former one. I do not return to the painting but I move to another unfinished one on the wall. I stand and add colors to it with a brush. It was two hands interlocked and held up in the night and facing the moon. The female hand was on top, it was fair and had a ring on it which I made to sparkle in the darkness of night. The hand underneath was darker and it was mine. It was a picture I captured in my mind when I sat with Nene then reshaped it to my taste.

She was so quick to let me go and it broke me. Until then, I thought she wanted me. So when I think of  going back to her, I lose the morale instantly because this time apart made it clear enough that she did not want me. I gave her space to be certain  because I did not want to confuse her life but I only knew one thing has been made certain because she has not called since then.

I called her sometime after she accidentally bleached my dress. I returned home from work and could not stop my raging thoughts so I chose to call . The call ended quickly because she said she would call me back but she never did till date.

When I'm alone with my thoughts I wonder what she thought of me. I could not have been perfect but that's why I am a man. I was open to learning if she was willing to teach me.

The canvas which was like a lover to me, stared at me. For weeks I had been on the painting of the two hands intertwined. I just seemed unable to give it the last strokes where I needed to.

I frowned as I inspected it. It still needed a little touch in some places. With new determination, I moved back to it.

Nene°

It was easy to find his studio but there was the toilet I bumped into before I reached the door which led me to him. He stood there with arms folded as he scrutinized the painting of intertwined hands. I am lost for a moment and I want to move closer but I hold still, training myself instantly not to breathe so I do not attract his attention.

He wore a black shirt which he had the sleeves folded to his elbows and  dark blue jeans. From the back he looked more muscular than I remember.

I note the painting  in front of him and the familiarity of something there strikes me. It was my ring.  My lips begin to move before I instinctively clap my hand over my mouth. I was not ready to make myself known.

Sometimes I wonder if we went too far, if I went too far. I would ask him today what he thinks, if we should have just continued and let things sort itself naturally?  I am here now. I would also ask him if we can continue like we never went apart?  I am very sure that I am ready now to be a part of his life, to fit in and build myself just like him. I am ready.

Slowly he begins to turn like he was expecting himself to behold someone behind him. Maybe he felt my presence or maybe he perceived my scent since he once claimed that he trained his nose to know my scent.

I just stood rooted, holding my hand bag in front of me like a life companion. I taught myself to walk over again - one leg in front of the other until I was standing beside him.

"That's my ring," I say, looking at the painting like I do not want to look at his face and note his expression, from the lifting of an eyebrow to a frown or maybe a grin.

"It is, " He replies and I notice him shove his hands into his pockets.

"It has not spoilt yet," I say, now hugging my handbag. It was the one we bought  from Madam Chinaka.

He laughs. "It  wants to prove you wrong."

After months apart, this was how I was greeting Tunde, like we left off a conversation at home and I came to finish it. I let down the handbag and held it in my hands in front of me as I faced him. "Mo nife re."

He laughs bending his head  like he knows, I now know the meaning of what he had been saying to me. Then looks up with a serious face. "I'm sorry "

But I was never angry with him. Maybe I thought I was for a while but I was wrong. He is a good man, he never lied to me. I was the one that wronged him, I was the one who was over dramatic and almost unreasonable.

I reach into my hand bag and bring out the dress I made for him which was well packaged then I stretch it towards him.

"Peace offering," .

He bends his head again and laughs then takes the cloth from me.

"I'm sorry," I say.

He nods and I do not know if he is restraining from touching me with his hands in his pocket but I step closer to him and wind my arms around him. He responds almost crushing me to himself.

"Mo nife re, " I say,  looking at him before I  took his lips. He gave back, dancing with my tongue, playing with my lips, then we pulled apart.

" O je lile laaye laisi iwo."

I laugh. "I did not learn Yoruba. I just learnt that sentence. "

"It was hard living without you, that's what it means."

"Is this an honest interpretation? "

"Yes it is."

I nod then step back to leave a little space between us. I search his eyes and they are still the same way - loving, kind and concerned and the smile he has which makes his eyes twinkle.

"Tuntun, '' I began, swallowing hard. "I want to know if we can continue from where we left off. I can't imagine my world without you. Ahurum gi n'anya way too much."

I waited expectantly while he tilted his head to a side, accessing me. I played with my fingers then dropped them.

"Tunde, I'm asking if you would have me back."

He breaks into a grin then looks all over the room like he wants to seek someone's opinion, then he walks closer and pulls me into his arms. "I have been waiting, baby. I have been waiting. I'll have you, all  of you."

I put my arms around him. I shift and he still holds me in place. "Stay in my arms a little more," he said.

It was always me that hindered myself from being in those arms. All I had to do was schedule a time to be in Delta earlier. I hold his arms like a mother that found a missing child, then I feel his back and stand on tiptoe to reach his neck.

We sat down on one of the recreational tables under a shade outside. I tell him about the new place I found and the huge steps I have been taking, even the risky ones and the ones that seem stupid to me. He keeps a smile on his face as he nods to my narration.

"I am proud of you, my lady.  I'm proud of you," he says, taking my fingers.

He also tells me about work in Delta and merging it with handling his family business. The family business was news to me because all I thought he was, was an architect and a painter.

"Nene," He calls, fixing his eyes to mine.  I look at him in reply and wait for him to speak.

"I'm not a fan of dating, can we call this courting  because God knows I don't want to waste more time. I want to marry you."

Like that? I laughed.

His eyes hold mine and his fingers are now loose around mine.

"Honestly I don't understand. Is this a proposal? "

He nods. "Maybe. Yes."

"You are sitting down, " I remind him.

"I know, I don't have a ring here," He says, hitting his pockets like he would feel a magical ring there.

I say nothing but look away then he moves closer to mine and takes my hand. Unable to hold in everything I laughed. He smiled, rubbing his thumb on my hand.

" My hands are full of love but you can not see it. You can only feel it,"He says, opening his empty hands. I laugh and look around. That is when I see Stella whom  I even forgot drove me here. She is sitting under the shade too, holding her phone up and grinning excitedly at me. I covered my face.

" Mo nife re. I truly love you. God knows that these past few months, my world has been empty without you. I want to spend forever and more with you, my lady. "

Just like that, explanations and protocol were thrown in the wind. I wipe my eyes with my handkerchief not bothering if I messed with my eyeliner. Someone seemed to be peeling onions close by. I breathe in the euphoria in the air and exhale.

"Let's do it again," I say.

"Sitting outside my gallery?"

"Silly," I laugh, "Being there for each other."

He nods and I tighten my hold on his hand. We are not going to force it or rush it. We are going to let everything flow naturally.