Chapter 19: Chapter 19

The pile of material that I always left on my table or on the sewing machine was not there. I saw them neatly stacked into a carton at a corner of the room. The tables and chairs were all dusted, windows were wiped clean and clear. There were not many clothes left for sale.

I started my day with calling the customers who had been calling me and coming to check up on me, booked appointments with them then I went over to Mrs Idika's house to take her measurements for a 'kimono' jacket she had been wanting to make. As always, She was excited to see me, commented on how 'fuller' I now seemed, a compliment I actually loved to hear. While she talked on and on about the things she had been seeing on Facebook, I also wanted to contribute.

I wanted to tell her, "Ma, that your son you were trying to pair me with that night, I have met him. In fact we've paired ourselves. " I never voiced it though . I could not.

When I later returned to the shop, Aku was there. She wrapped her hands around me for long, I hugged her back enjoying the feeling. Those days I yearned for someone to hold me like that for long.

Ike coming to Auntie Maimah's house, was to see Wisdom, they talked, laughed then they went out together. It was like he was avoiding letting others know that something was going on between us. I did not mind. I knew they were making arrangements to bring back Uncle Joe's corpse.

A lot of times when everything crowds in my head and I can't blank my mind or keep my eyes dry, I long for strong hands to gather me in.

Aku told me of those that came to look for me, Madam Chinaka included but Tunde never came probably because we were talking over the phone. After the day I kissed him, he still called once in a while as normal but I stopped reaching out since Ike, though still wishing he would keep reaching out.

I was working on the Kimono jacket when I heard a clap. "Kpai kpai eba" the female voice said. "Madam gi kwanu ?" - where's your madam? I heard her ask Aku. It was Madam Chinaka.

"She's not in," Aku replied.

"kedi ihe imere mean " -What do you mean? "is that not her car outside"?

I sighed. It was like with all her detective observations, she was yet to notice that Tunde's car looked like mine. My car was spoilt and in Owerri.

"Ehh_She just came in now. She's praying," Aku said.

"Biko, shiftora m na uzo. Ka m hu onye bu mmadu," - please leave my way, let me see human beings.

I could imagine her pushing Aku's small body aside. I braced myself, still on my machine and waited for her to come in.

She knocked on the open door then slapped my arm jokingly but painfully.

"Good afternoon, ma," I greeted.

"Noo. It's you that is madam oo. You that can leave your Shop and travel for enjoyment."

I shook my head in disbelief as I watched her.

"What did you bring for us naa?"

"Later, Aku will bring bread to your shop."

"Okwa nka no ebe a? " she asked, pointing to the fast food opposite. - Is it this one here?

I nodded. "Mba! I don't want that one. I want the one they sell wherever you are coming from."

"Ngwanu, you will wait. Next time I travel I'll bring back something. "

"you are turning politician abi? No problem. "

Since I did not offer her a seat, she sat on the other stool I was not using. "I even thought you went to get married but your man friend was still here so I said, mba or could it be that he was coming to visit? "

"Hewu !" I exclaimed, "Aunty, kwuo oke a kwanu." - Aunty, it's okay.

She laughed. "Nene, obu egwuruegwu . Let me be going eh, see you later"- Nene, it's just a joke. See you later.

I didn't bother to reply or look at her as she left - my enforced friend. I went back to the dress I was sewing. Sewing had always been an escape but thoughts invaded it these days.

Auntie Maimah had lost alot of weight after Wisdom came. The next morning after the news, she locked herself in. Wisdom had to kick the door open to know if she was fine. Nobody was really fine in truth.

Nobody made me a topic of discussion till Ada told my cousins I was going out with Ike.

"Bia, Nene ina tochakwa ochi" - "Bia, Nene you are very funny", Miriam, the eldest  said in their parlour.

She gave me an eleven years gap . She and husband are based in Oklahoma with their two sons. Stella was the only one of them in Nigeria, working in Delta.

"Ike could have been a perfect man because we know him but! He can not be using you to get over his fiancee and you are using him to occupy time," she continued.

"Nobody is using anybody," I had tried to defend.

Ada just sat quietly using one hand to support her chin while Miriam admonished me like a child. Stella was the same age with me, she didn't say much but did not seem to approve either.

"Does Wisdom know that his best friend wants to start sleeping with you or has started already?" Stella finally asked.

I wanted to reply but I trained myself to keep shut knowing that I was going to be rude or say things I might regret.

"Stella, you should not be talking. You should go and sit where Nene is and both of you will be looking at Ada and I like small children. " She turned to Ada, "Imana, this girl with all her beauty is dating a married man. A man that has a child and has not finalized the separation with his wife. Which means they could come back together anytime. "

"O wu love," Ada said sarcastically with her lips turned down.

I later excused myself. That was when I made the decision to return home and attend to my customers. 'using me'  did not sound like Ike but nothing sounded like anyone until they revealed their true colours. Mathew had taught me that much at least.

I just did not understand why I was falling for the nearest available option. I wanted to be paid attention to, I wanted to be worshipped as a woman, I wanted to be loved. Ike was trying to do all that.