Chapter 50: Chapter 50
ABUJA, NIGERIA.
"What do you want to do, perle?" Bushra inclined her head staring at her daughter who is lying comfortably on the bed holding onto her feeder like her life depended on it. She hasn't been fussy the whole day so Bushra is being careful, she don't want her to cry on such day.
"Dada..." Her heart stopped listening to her daughter's demand like that, she knows what she means with that and Bushra really don't understand what she should do at this point.
The girl has been mild about questioning her father but it doesn't mean she don't want to know where her father has suddenly disappeared to. She's been patient about the matter, she asks and Bushra will yaw her attention somewhere else, so far, she hadn't started crying about her father yet and Bushra always prays she won't do that for she can't handle it. Anaan is her breaking point, she will shatter along with her daughter as soon as the words get out. If crying at the sight of his remains is heart wrenching, she don't know what to call how she feels when her daughter demands to see her father.
"Finish your milk and let's go to see Aunt Fayha, huh?" She tucked the strands of her hair behind and stared at her daughter again like she is just noticing something about her.
For some odd peculiar fremd reasons, her daughter is starting to take up her father's looks right after her first birthday which happened few weeks ago and it would've been with Mika'il's had he been alive, it was heartbreaking. Since she has planned to celebrate her daughter's birthday from the core of her heart, she celebrated in a low key way, not how she wanted to do if her husband was there with her. She didn't give anyone their costumes, she could not bring herself to do that when her mother in-law died and the clothes are matching, she couldn't stomach the mere thought so she gave them all away to the less privileged.
The death of her mother in-law took much more toll on her than the one of her husband's, she don't understand why. Somewhere within her, she still feels that something is going to happen and she shall meet Mika'il again, she can't tell why she has those strange feelings but they are there. If what her heart is twinkling is true, then she is going to have to face a reality she wouldn't want to ever see. She wants Mika'il to be genuinely dead, she don't want to take the heartbreak that comes with seeing him again. She'd rather not see him, not after what he has done to her when she needed him the most, she can't.
She also believe what Gigi told her, that something is wrong with her husband to act like that and if she will give him the benefit of doubt, she knew the woman is correct. Mika'il wouldn't have done that even to a stranger but then why did he do that to her? Something was missing but it is too late now for her to find out, he is dead and won't ever come back so the sooner she delete all the memories she has with him and move on with her life, the better. Her mother has been sending her hints but she intentionally act clueless, she don't want to be pushed, not now at least. She wants to focus on her daughter first, to make sure she is not going to keep asking for her father.
She will need a father figure in that stage of her life and all her brothers are busy with an upcoming missions while her father has always been in the law firm leaving only Amir to help her handle the little lady. She is grateful for having such unyielding in-laws, they are always there helping her in each step of the way including her equally busy father in-law. No one knows where he goes now after work or he just doesn't like leaving the hospital making everything hectic on him, she wants to talk to him about overworking himself. It won't help him cope with the loss of his wife, not at all but worsen it to the limit.
She understands why some men sought comfort in the arms of another woman as soon as their wives die, to help them cope with the void she has left. At this point, she feels like her father in-law needs that support from a wife, only a wife can help him fill the void of another wife. It's been only four months since her mother in-law's death and still they are mourning, she is very sure her belle meré won't want them to keep mourning like that. She would've scolded them and ask them both to move on as time waits for no one, hers ended sooner than theirs, that is the only difference between them. She had to leave because it is her time to leave, they will follow when their time arrive.
She's heard some of her in-laws from belle meré thinking about getting him married to a cousin of hers who got married once and have one child but unfortunately, the marriage didn't work out. She don't know whether they've talked to her father in-law about it, she would want to find out what he thinks. Gigi said she won't let him hang around like a brainless dog even though she thinks dogs don't have senses. Bushra needs to pay so many people a visit to see what is going on around he family, she can't stay cooped in her room like some newly wedded bride.
With that thought, she let Anaan continue taking her milk then made her way to her closet to change. She took a straight shapeless ankara gown from the drawer and wore it, a tangerine coloured veil is what she wrapped around her head to her should in a classic style, matching sleepers and tote bag then she removed matching outfit for her daughter. She changed her diaper, removed the overall she has on and wear the jean skirt for her, tangerine shirt and small baby shoes. She beamed and took some photos of them together to post later on her social platforms.
She hasn't gone MIA from social media because of the death of her husband, she refuse to be depressed after a month. Almost everyone knows about the divorce and the death of her husband and his second wife, she didn't try hiding anything from anyone neither has she talked about the matter, she just let's anyone think whatever. If they are going to make her feel down for something she hadn't done, there is no need explaining herself for they don't deserve it.
There are some hurtful comments all the time but she deletes them before she finished reading while some are consoling her. Fayha also helps in this aspect, she blocks anyone that commented rudely, she was grateful to that. She has closed her heart too, Mika'il made sure she's learnt her lesson so nothing on earth could ever shatter her heart again, she's been on that lane before to ever feel hurt again. This is nothing to what he did to her, she has gone past through it, none could make her feel crestfallen.
She has forgiven him, don't get her wrong, she just can't help reminiscing the past and the last conversation they had before he died. She swallowed again then took her phone from the charger she plugged maybe seconds ago, her daughter in the other hand who kept tugging on her veil as if she wants to remove it. She pried her hand off her veil then made her way to her mother's room, she is at home and has been home for awhile now, she likes staying home. Bushra likes to think that she is not the cause but she is the one, there is no doubt.
Her woman created a softer spot for her now, she is always concerned about what she thinks and what she is doing which makes Bushra guilty. That attempted suicide was a mistake, she never would've killed herself for anyone, she knows the consequences of it islamically. That thought didn't cross her mind, she was just filled with a lot of what ifs that she didn't know she was drowning in the water. It was soothing so she thought she could push herself deeper inside and feel more slothful but then again, the water wasn't there to play pacify and consolation. It was there to take her life, in the most frightening grieve.
"Mom, I'm going to go see Kauthar, Fayha and Gigi." She listed the names while her mother widened her lips with each name she mentioned, Bushra laughed at that.
"All of them today? I feel like you won't even leave your in-laws house before dawn, how can you go to all those places today?" Her mother raised a brow then stood up from the bed she was sitting on reading some anatomy book with her medical glasses. Maybe she was going to do something.
"Are you going somewhere and don't worry, I can go to those houses for an hour only." Bushra tried coaxing her mother up, she would ask her to stay there and go the next day early in the morning to make it work like planned. But she can't wait to fill in her curiosity.
"Yes, I'm going to drop you off then go to the hospital." She took her veil from the closet then removed her glasses.
"Well, you don't have to do that, Auntie. I'm here to do that since I can't spend the time with the person I came here for." They both turn around to see Amir standing on the doorway, his lips pouted. Anaan is already jumping in Bushra's arms at the sight of her uncle. She loves Amir now more than Afrah, it says a lot.
"You are here!" Bushra exclaimed, beaming because she don't want her mother to drop her off. She will keep talking about moving on, mental health and so on and so forth. Being a doctor's daughter, hmmp!
"Yep, wanted to spend sometime with my niece but you are going to mine, let's go back together." He shrugged then greeted her mother who was extraordinarily happy at the sight of him. Bushra rose her brows, her mother is acting suspicious these days, she is definitely up to something, she thought. The woman is planning something with her brothers and Amir, her birthday isn't until another month.
"Let's go. Bye, mom!" She called out and drag Amir out of the house before the woman talk their ears off again.
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"What does this man think of himself? Ordering me to get dressed and wait for him to come? What the hell?!" Fayha grumbled while checking her closet for the nth time and then recalled what has transpired between her and her fiancée and her mother twenty minutes ago.
"Hello?" She answered the phone right in front of her mother not knowing it was Mujaddad who called her, she didn't want to stand up from watching the news that will help her next in her work the next day, it's boring actually.
"Hey, are you home?" Came his question, she grimly stared at the phone and saw his name written boldly on the screen. 'Overbearing Major'.
"Yes, I'm home, what do you want?" She can't help being a little bit off tone because what he made her feel the last time they talked a week ago didn't flush down the drain, he made her mad yet again. No, he actually does that all the time they talk, he always makes her mad for one reason or the other.
"Tsk, tsk... I'm coming now." He hung up the phone and she could feel steam coming off the whole orifices of her face in anger. He always manage to do this, all the damn time she talks to him.
"Who is that and why are you suddenly infuriated?" Her mother asked, her eyes moving from the phone to her daughter's face in wonder. Whoever this person is, he is going to get the end of it at the end of the day because her daughter is never that mad, just not after one phone call. No, not even when they spend the night teasing her.
"This so called fiancée of mine and his ways of commanding me like I'm one of his recruits. I swear if I get my hands in his neck, I will make sure he turns blue before I let go. He can't be polite to save his own darn life, imbecile." She gritted her teeth totally forgetting whom she is talking to till after her mother's squeal reached her ears. She has made the gravest mistake by talking like that in front of her mother.
"Ah, you guys are making it work already. I'm so proud of you, dear, finally a love life in your life." Her mother beamed, her hands clutched to one another as if stopping herself from gripping her shoulders like she does whenever she is proud of her.
"Mom, didn't you hear what I just say? He was talking about coming here hut he can't as much say something along the line 'I'm on my way there, take care, dear' but he said, 'I'm coming now' as if he owns me." She glared at her phone, really taking all the wheel power in her not to do that at her mother.
"Aw, that is just so cute. You know, the strongest couple always fight before the love sprout out from the relationship." Her mother cooed and stood up to leave mumbling about calling her Auntie to talk about the wedding they are going to arrange soon. She even went as far to talk about their future children, hmmp!
Taking off charcoal palazzo from the hanger, she wore it hastily and then took coin short sleeves shirt. She is really mad because she likes lounging around in her pajamas and had it been he hadn't called to ask or tell her he was coming, he would've seen her like that. A charcoal silky veil is what she took next and wrap it in that haute style that always makes her look good but no, she is not doing it to look good for that stupid controlling, overbearing, arrogant soldier. Is that how Mujaheed is? That one is probably much more arrogant than this one, from the looks of it.
"Why are you so grumpy?" She beamed hearing the sound of her best friend's voice coming from the door. Unfortunately, her elder brother is the one who created all that and made her so grumpy and angry.
"Well, it happens that your brother wants to have a date in my home but he demanded it, how unromantic. You need to give them one of your romantic bone please, I can't take much more. And Mom was squealing like a schoolgirl thinking about our babies! I mean, what the heck is wrong with the universe?!" She threw the question while adding kohl to her sharp eyes to sharpen it in hopes to scare that arrogant soldier away.
"Ah, I will definitely do that." Bushra laughed, staring at the message Amir sent her saying he will take Anaan with him before she finishes and she typed a quick okay.
"He is here." Fayha sulked then left the room telling her to stay put but Bushra has already called Amir and told him to come get her. She don't want Fayha to be quick in whatever it is she is going to talk about with her brother, she should take her time. He is probably going to bid her goodbye because of his next mission and then their wedding will follow suit in a few months.
"Why are you always grumpy?" He questioned as soon as she sat down on the couch in their mini living room where no one will interrupt them. She is sure her mother asked one of the maids to send him in, she won't mind if he stays out in the sun, he is used to it anyway.
"Because I am engaged to a man who has nothing to do other than ordering and bossing me around because he is a soldier and thinks the world is revolved around his strategies. But don't worry, I'm about to give him a taste of his own medicine." She smiled sweetly then served herself the grape juice and drank it all in one go and instead of serving him, she relaxed back on the couch.
"Tsk, I pity this man already if he has to put up with your grumpy attitude. What a shame." He is still grinning, all she wants to do is slap it off his face for real.
"Yeah, he should pity himself."
"Anyway, I'm here to tell you that you won't have to see me for the next three months straight so you won't be grumpy." He gave a small smile when she didn't react, she is emotionless, "We have a mission that needs the attention of each and every important soldier we have at the military base for this special force. A lot has been going on with our people so we need to save them but don't worry, this will be my last mission for the whole year. You can have me all to yourself and I will make sure to make you grouchy for the rest of our lives." He beamed saying the last point because she looks solemn, he is very good at reading people. No matter how much she tries to hide it, she is concerned about his wellbeing.
"Ah, three months of freedom? Thank you God, I love You so much." She made her hands in that prayer way and exaggerated with a wildly beating heart.
Though they are not on good terms, she don't want him to go to those dangerous missions ever. She's heard about special force, it is a mission more dangerous than war which makes the time for the soldiers very little. She is not sure if he will make it back in three months, it takes longer sometimes. She sighed internally, she will definitely miss him in those days, a lot. He sometimes call her only to annoy her, she will miss that too, hmmp!
"Don't pretend, sweetheart, you will miss me." He grinned and they continue to talk like nothing has happened between them. It has always been like that, they fight, reconcile and then fight again before they leave so next time they are going to talk again, it starts with a fight.