Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Before picking me up and placing me on his lap, my dad walks over to the chair I was sitting in and takes a seat there himself. "I'm afraid, dad." I need some time to regain my composure, so please excuse me while I go get it.

"I know." While he does so, he rubs his fingers in a circular motion all over my back. It is beyond my ability to fathom how anything like that could ever be comforting, but it is.

"I love him." I would suggest standing up and walking over to where he is sleeping as soon as possible.

"You do?" My dad asks. "At what point did you grasp the significance of that?" As he gets up from his seat, he requests that I take it so that he can have more space.

"After the wedding, there followed a brief period of time. Maybe even far earlier than that" I recite it to myself while putting on an act of embarrassment by dropping my head.

"Is he aware that this is happening?" In the midst of him kneeling in front of me, he poses the question. I can only nod my head. Why wouldn't it make sense?

"To be honest, I have no idea. My incapacity to express how I feel in a clear and concise manner is a barrier for me. At the very least, it is what I try to persuade myself of on a daily basis. When I am saying this, I turn my focus to Mark who is supposedly sleeping. It's probable that I won't be able to convey that information to him at this time. I begin sobbing and immediately resume my previous position of leaning forward.

"Hello, hello, and hello. It is not acceptable for you to think in such a manner. At this point, it seems as though Mark will be fine. My mother urges me to pick myself up by the shoulders and wipe away my tears. My father tells me to do the same. I nod again. "I genuinely detest having to go to work every day, but there is nothing I can do to change the situation." He has instructed you to give me a hug. Please comply.

"It's ok." I suggested giving him one final bear embrace before parting ways.

Once he leaves, the rest of the people come in, look at me, and speak to me in a compassionate manner. After that, they all say their goodbyes to Mark.

The appearance of the doctor in the room. "So, what are your feelings about calling it a night and heading back to your place?"

"No, I'm not leaving," was the response. I say stern. All of my tears have now stopped falling, despite the fact that the pain is still very much present.

"Would you be interested in purchasing a cot?" He asks.

"Yes, you are quite kind." I say not looked away from Mark.

When a brief period of time has elapsed, the nurse ultimately enters the room, bringing the cot with her. She leaves after assisting me in setting it up, but not before going. "I have a feeling that I won't be able to get to sleep tonight," the speaker said. "It's just not going to happen." I respond to him as I rise from the cot where I've been sitting and continue to watch him.

Because a nurse had checked on Mark the previous night, the next morning when I woke up, my alarm went off. "I told you to go back to sleep," the other person said. She speaks more quietly than before.

"Are you able to provide me with the time?" I ask. At this very moment, I do not feel even the slightest bit tired.

"Maybe around 6:30, my sweetheart," She has indicated that she will be leaving through the front entrance.

"I am aware that, strictly speaking, I am not a patient; yet, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to consume a meal." I ask, a little timid.

"Sure. I'm going to need some time to look into that. She says while greeting me with a bright smile.

I push myself to my feet, make my way to the bedroom that Mark is in, and sit down on the bed there. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Mark. I said grasping his hand. "I love you." Once again, the only type of response that I get is a steady beeping sound.

"How many years have passed since the two of you tied the knot?" The question that the nurse asked caught me off guard. "I ask that you pardon me; it was not my intention to scare you in any way."

"It's ok... At this time, we haven't even been married for a full year since we got married. Remove the tray out her reach, that is the advice I have for you.

"Please forgive me if I came off as being too direct, but you seem to be in your early twenties." She informs me that she will be turning the table around so that it faces me.

"Yeah, you are absolutely right in presuming that I am," she responded. I'm 18." It is in your best interest to take the cover off the dish.

"Wow. When I was younger, I had a lover who I loved very much, and I often think about how much better my life would have been if he had stayed by my side. She lets out a sigh before uttering these words while seated in the chair in which I had spent the previous night sleeping.

"Would it be possible for me to question what you mean by it if it doesn't cause too much trouble?" I inquire before beginning the first course of my meal.

"I became pregnant when I was 17 years old, and the man I was seeing at the time is the one who is responsible for the pregnancy. After that, despite the fact that he was a few years older than me, he refused to have anything further to do with me. She says, sighing again.

"My heartfelt apologies." I'm going to put my fork here for easy access.

"It's ok. My life is quite blessed right now since I have a beautiful spouse and three wonderful children, the oldest of whom was born when I was only 17 years old. She informs me while erecting herself and grinning at me in the process. I am going to make an attempt to grin back at you. Someone else added, "He must be thinking about you because you can tell by the way he's looking at you that he's thinking about you." The statement is uttered by her as she approaches the door to the building.

"What gives you such absolute confidence in that?" I inquire while casting a puzzled glance in her direction as she makes her way toward the entrance.

You tell them, "That grin is most likely saved for you if he loves you in the same manner that you love him," and they nod their heads in agreement. The comment is the last thing she says before walking out the door.

I stare back at Mark. He does give off the appearance that he is smiling ever so little, even if just to himself. When I'm through eating, I turn on the television to divert my attention from the myriad of other activities that are taking place at the same time.

Due to the fact that the door was left ajar, I am now wide awake and am presently seated upright at the foot of Mark's bed. "Hey." I say it in a husky whisper to my dad as well as to Maddy.

It would be great if you could stop by our house for dinner sometime. We'd love to have you. Maddy blurts. It was obvious from the expression on my father's face that he desired a more intimate relationship with that.

"I am conscious of this fact; nonetheless, I believe it is in everyone's best interest for me to remain here in the event that he comes to." As I speak these words, I am fighting back another round of tears. They are simultaneously approaching me and embracing me in the act of walking over to me.

"Well, honey, we know that you would like to stay here, but we believe that it would be best for you to return home and spend time with your family." "Yes, honey, we are aware that you would prefer to remain here." My dad suggests maintaining a respectable distance from me at all times.

"Mark belongs to my family in some capacity." I speak softer than before.

"Now, because we anticipated that that is what you were going to say, we brought you some new clothes to get you ready for it." This is something that Maddy says to me as she hands me a bag that appears to be overly heavy for the sole purpose of holding apparel.

"What else is in here?" I want to get the clean clothes out of the bag, therefore I question about the possibility of opening the bag.

"We made certain to bring along your sketchbook as well as your pencils. In addition to your own computer, a selection of your most frequently watched movies. Also, the book that you brought to our house when you came to visit us. Thus, virtually anything that you brought with you to our location. Maddy says. How awkward she can be at times is almost eerie to see. It's wonderful!

"Thanks." I say chuckling.

"Alright, we must go. In a couple of hours, we will get together for dinner. My mother has reminded me that my father wants me to give and receive one final hug.

"I'll see you later." Instead of staying in bed and worrying about them, you should go up and give them hugs.

"We apologize for keeping you waiting for such a long time. While she continues to speak, Maddy shows that she is concerned by reaching out with her hand to cup my cheek.

"Alright," I say in response as they leave the room.

I need to get changed, so I'll just stop by the restroom first. After giving my face a few short squirts with some ice water, I switch my hat for a head scarf and give my face a few quick squirts with some ice water again. My scalp itches more and more as the itching continues.

I thought it would be fun to watch a movie that they had brought with them for me to see. As soon as I put my headphones on, I find myself falling asleep almost instantly. The noise of the nurses coming in and out of the room does not cause me to wake up since the headphones I'm wearing block out the sound.

The moment I finally allow myself to open my eyes, the very first thing that I do is look at the clock. Around half an hour before five o'clock. I make my way over to Mark's bedroom and sit down on his bed.

"Hey, Mark... It seems that the others are about to begin eating at any moment now. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will start to come to shortly. That is a given; nonetheless, all I can think about is how much I miss him despite the fact that it is a given. I want him to wake up and walk about with me when I fall asleep because I miss being able to talk to him. I miss being able to connect with him. He has a very gentle and affable nature. The very notion of that makes me want to sob uncontrollably. Just sobs could be heard instead of hiccups. "I love you so much Mark." I think it would be appropriate to give his hand a gentle squeeze.