Chapter 32: Chapter 32

The next few months of chemo went by in a blur. They pricked my arm and made me swallow a pill. I stayed in the hospital for the night then went home and recovered for a few days. Mark had to work most of those days. I tried to find shows that I would only like but I kept coming back to NCIS and Hawaii Five-O, my favorite shows. I promised Mark I wouldn't watch without him. That was hard.

After a few weeks of not finding anything to watch I stooped down to watching My Little Pony. I can't believe I watched all seven or eight seasons. I'm not proud of that part in my life. A week after finishing My Little Pony I started reading more.

I read the Twilight books again. Not listening to me actually read them, it's better that way. Then my body is focused on what's happening in the book rather than doing other random things. Like what? I'm not sure. The books are just like I remember them, better than the movies.

I read the book To All the Boys I've Loved Before and the books after that. Watched the movie after. To my surprise I really liked them. I decided to look more at the Author of those books and see what other things she wrote. I ended up reading The Summer I Turned Pretty and the books after that. Marke reaction, surprisingly good. I started reading Burn for Burn now. It's really good even though I've only read like three chapters and haven't really gotten to the good part.

I started to draw way more too. I have a certain sketch book that I fill up and usually it takes about a school year. The one I got for my birthday that I haven't touched until now, a very thick book might I add, filled up in less than three weeks.

I decided to draw all the Marvel characters that I wanted to like Ironman, Spider-Man, Captain America, Black widow, and Black Panther. I also did a detailed drawing of my ring. I can't get over it. I did a drawing of the reveal of our wedding picture. Like when he first saw me. I love that picture. If I were to look back on that picture when I was suffering from dementia I would think it's real. I did other things too. Like one page is my 'warm up page'. I use that page to do random things to help me think. I drew all the books I read. The Twilight series on one page, the To All the Boys I've Loved Before series on another, The Summer I turned Pretty on another and the Burn for Burn book I just started, leaving space for the next two after that. I drew the NCIS cast on one page with the logo and the Hawaii Five-O cast on another with the logo.

During the month of August Mark had a work softball thing that I went to. It was entertaining. Mark got a homer and pitched pretty well. I used to pitch for a league at my school. I played it for most of it, from elementary school coach pitch, to high school varsity fast pitch.

During the beginning of each inning Mark would come over to me and ask how he did. If it was when he was pitching I gave him pointers on how to improve and get more strikes. Every time he did better. When he was batting I told him to not go for the low ones because he shouldn't have to bend for the ball and not go for pitches that happen when the pitcher's foot hops. Like when you drag your foot to follow through if it hops it's not controlled. I hated when that happened to me when I was pitching and when I swung at one.

I drew Mark playing too while I waited for the game to be over. Only at the boring parts otherwise I watched.

When the end of August came around I went to Maya's house to say goodbye. She's leaving for Stanford University for journalism. We talked for a few hours and I said goodbye at her house. I couldn't help but cry. I felt better after we parted and I saw the tears in her eyes. We promised we'd stay in touch and she told me to call on chemo days and just any day. I would love to believe that but she's going to this school and she's going to meet new more exciting people. I cried again when I got home. For once I'm glad Mark's at work.

I drew Maya and I's goodbye. I cried while doing it, you can see the spots my tears hit. They're all dried up now but wrinkly. I drew a hug and our sad faces. From afar it might be mistaken as a photo.

Abby and I went shopping for the baby a lot. Sometimes with Charlie and sometimes without. She's a really good friend and I'm really excited to meet her baby... GIRL! Yep, that's right. They're having a girl. They promised me I get to be the godmother and Mark is the godfather.

Even though Charlie and Abby didn't have a gender reveal I drew them opening a box filled with pink balloons. The whole picture was just pencil except the balloons which were a bright colored pencil pink. I'm keeping this for me, I didn't give it to them.

When I felt too lonely for my own good I called my dad and sometimes we just talked to others he came over here, sometimes I went over there. We watched movies and ate popcorn, sundaes, pizza, any kind of junk food that we had when I was younger.

I bet you can guess. I drew that picture as well.

Charlie came to sit with me on chemo days then left when Mark got there. I woke up in my hospital room with Mark sitting next to me and Charlie being gone. Charlie got a job at a bar and his shifts start an hour or so after chemo is done. He wants to spend a little time with Abby before so I understand.

I drew myself almost sleeping with Charlie sitting next to me reading Charlotte's Web. That's what he did when we were younger when I first had it. I drew two visions of that. One when we were younger and one now, when we're older.

John called Mark's phone a couple times and Mark asked me to get it. I answered it and barely got a hello in before the yelling started. I got a few words in and made sure he knew it was me. He apologized half heartedly and asked me to put Mark on. I really don't like John. He's a real jackass. Every day I can feel Mark getting closer and closer to not giving the company. He keeps bringing up my story. I told him about the art and music program. He's definitely thinking about it.

I found a picture of Mark and his dad, redrew it and defaced the jackass John. It was really fun.

I seem to be doing what I did when I was younger before I could write. I of course still do that online journal thing, but sometimes it feels better to draw it out. I'm better at drawing now so it helps remember things more clearly.

"I don't want to do anything big." Mark says on our drive home from a movie.

"Come on, it's your birthday." I plead. Mark's birthday is in less than a week and he doesn't want anything. He gives me a look. "Why not go out with Jackson, Charlie, Levi, and Brandon." I remembered the names of his groomsmen.

"Levi and Brandon don't live here." Mark reasons, trying to get out of it anyway possible.

"It's just Jackson and Charlie." I say, trying any way to get him into it anyway possible.

"I'll make you a deal." He starts. He looks over to me and I give him a little nod. "I'll celebrate my birthday with you and just you." He says taking the keys out of the ignition.

"Why just me?" I ask. "Why wouldn't you want to spend it with your friends?"

"Because I want to spend it with you. You're the only one that matters." He says. I see his eyes go wide before he quickly gets out of the car. My eyes go wide and I blush. I wait for the blush to die down before following.

"So you mean I get to plan your party?" I ask running after him.

"I never said a party, I said I'd spend the day with you, and just you." He says emphasizing the just.

"Fine." I say stomping my foot in defeat and he unlocks the door. I swear I saw him smile at my outburst.

"Are you ready?" I yell to wake Markup on his day off which is his birthday.

"What is wrong with you?" Mark asks, rubbing his eyes.

"Come on, it's your birthday!" I quickly exit the room and grab a tray of food I made. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Mark. Happy birthday to you!" I sing as I place the tray next to him.

"You can sing?" He asks.

I decided to be funny and say the same thing he did with different words. "Yeah, just the five years in elementary school, then one required year in middle school, and the occasional shower." I joke. "You think you're funny don't you?" Mark asks, taking a bite of toast.

"I just changed the words of what you told me." I say matter-of-fact, sitting next to him and taking a piece of toast for myself.

"When?" Mark asks not to believe me.

"When we were in Hawaii, in the hospital you sang and I asked if you could sing. Your answer went something along the lines of this." I puse to get ready. "Honor choir all four years of high school and college'. Then I asked "is that all' and you said. "Well there was that time on AGT!" I say in my best Mark voice.

"You really do have a photographic memory don't you?" Mark asks intrigued.

"Yes, now eat while I shower and get ready." I say jumping and going over to the bathroom.

"Yes ma'am." I hear him whisper before I walk into the bathroom.